Leaving my Little one at home?

[Randomdes]

We have just booked a cruise on Carnival Pride for 7 days out of MD on 4/11/2010. My DH and MIL have convinced me to leave our youngest (he'd be 14 months at day of departure and walks very well already) at home with her while we go. We are bringing DS3 on for his first time. Reading many of the posts on the family board convinces me I could do it with both kids. Am I crazy to want to try and bring my little guy? Is it worth it?

[JacobsMommy]

I don't know if it is crazy or not, but I am taking my little man (18 m.o.). I am very nervous because this is our first cruise, but I don't think I could have truly enjoyed myself without him! I say...take him! :p

[crusinmama06]

I am one of those crazy moms who refuses to travel without both kids. ;) I have been known to travel without my hubby, but not without the kids. :p

 

Yes, it can be done.

 

Is it "worth it" -- well now THAT is up to you. He won't be able to use the pools on Carnival Pride. They don't have a pool for unpotty trained tots. So that will be a biggie for some.

[Cuizer2]

We have just booked a cruise on Carnival Pride for 7 days out of MD on 4/11/2010. My DH and MIL have convinced me to leave our youngest (he'd be 14 months at day of departure and walks very well already) at home with her while we go. We are bringing DS3 on for his first time. Reading many of the posts on the family board convinces me I could do it with both kids. Am I crazy to want to try and bring my little guy? Is it worth it?

 

If it is a family vacation, then bring the entire family.

[above sea level cruiser]

If you totally trust the person who will be caring for your son, go and have a great time with your 3 year old and your husband:D. A baby is allot of work:)

[boulders]

On my first two cruises, I left the youngest at home. He was 6 months and 20 months at the times. He cruised when he was 32 months on RCCL. He was too young for the kids club. Although they had babysitting and he went on shore excursions, it really wasn't that much fun for him. Not much fun for mom either. ;) I would go and enjoy the cruise without him. Everyone will have a much better time.

 

Edited to add: I see that Grandma is the one who wants to babysit the little one. You will win points with both MIL and hubby for doing this. A win-win situation in my book.

[brenderlou]

Personally, I would leave the youngest w/ grandma and enjoy a little R&R. Your oldest can go to the kids club and that leaves you and hubby w/ some free time to sit back and enjoy.

Our daughter, now 5, LOVES the kids club on any ship so the only time we see her is the afternoon. It's a win/win situation....our daughter is having a blast and making friends in the kids club and dh & I get a break and can chill out.

[mjkacmom]

I've left all of my kids home at certain times. I've left babies and taken older kids, I've left them all home! Cruising with a toddler doesn't sound very relaxing to me (I've left a toddler for a beach vacation for the same reason). My kids LOVE staying with their grandparents.

[A&Jfamily]

Personally, if I am taking one, I am taking both. DH and I haven't take more than a night away in 6 years since my youngest was born, though they did, for the first time, spend a week in WV with grandma and grandpa without me - but they are the only people I would leave them with for that long.

 

Shoot, on our 10th anniversary, we are taking a short cruise, and since the boys will be 12.5 and almost 7, they are going - with their own room across the hall. I just can't leave them behind.

[onthelake]

I only have one child so this is just an opinion - perhaps your older son would benefit from having some alone time and adventures with the undivided attention of mom and dad just as the younger son would benefit from time alone with grandma. You have to do what your heart tells you to.

[cb at sea]

We left our 1 yo with grandma on our 1st vacation after his birth,.....best thing we ever did. Gave us time to 'reconnect' as a couple...you ARE more than parents and it's a good thing to get away and remember that!

Baby and grandparents bonded big time, we got a much needed break and all was well!

[IBoz]

I would try and talk Grandma into keeping BOTH kids and run like the wind!

[Onessa]

While a 14MO may not appreciate the sights or the amenities, he will benefit from family together time.

 

During the rest of the year Mom and Dad are so tied up in day-to-day activities -- work, school, daycare, dinner, laundry, lawn care, etc. -- it is nice for the whole family to spend some down time together. A 14MO will tie into the energy and stress levels. And a 14MO knows the difference between G-ma and Mom and really does care.

 

I've never had a compulsion to escape from my kids or my husband or whomever (ok maybe that one boss I had a few years back). DH and I got married (after 13 years of knowing each other) specifically so that we could start a family. We planned our family. We got into this knowing that our life would not be the same.

 

I don't look at a family vacation as "less" than any other vacation. I don't look at any of my family members as any sort of burden or as a "fun killer" -- I would consider a week away from one of my family members when I know that he could have been with us as a real fun killer.

[mjkacmom]

And a 14MO knows the difference between G-ma and Mom and really does care.

 

I've never had a compulsion to escape from my kids or my husband or whomever (ok maybe that one boss I had a few years back). DH and I got married (after 13 years of knowing each other) specifically so that we could start a family. We planned our family. We got into this knowing that our life would not be the same.

 

I don't look at a family vacation as "less" than any other vacation. I don't look at any of my family members as any sort of burden or as a "fun killer" -- I would consider a week away from one of my family members when I know that he could have been with us as a real fun killer.

 

Yes, they know the difference - my kids always enjoyed spending some quality time with grandma! They have such a close relationship with their grandparents - my mom is actually flying with dd9 to Florida this summer for a dance competition (she couldn't decide if she wanted me or her grandma, so I decided to let her go with grandma).

 

I knew my DH 15 years before we married, dated 6 years, and have been married almost 15 years. I LOVE getting away with just him! Usually just once a year, but we get some couple time, and the kids get to spend time spoiled by the grandparents, which they love. And I'm thankful they'll take all 5 of them!

[mom2isabella05cole08]

We are doing our first cruise next January and taking both kids. DD will be 5 and DS will be 2. The whole reason we are waiting until January is so that DS will be 2 and we can put him in Camp Carnival for a few hours and get a break.

 

Honestly though, I can't imagine not taking the kids. We are just getting used to DD staying the night at Nana and Papa's and still feel like we're forgetting her when we don't have her with us. And I can't imagine going on vacation with just one of my kids, it's bad enough we have multiple trips to Disney World where we've managed to get pictures of everyone except DS.

 

But, if I could convince my mom to come to FL so that DH and I could go by ourselves, I'd jump on it. Dh and I have discussed that we will trade off the kids at times so we each have some special time alone with each kid since it's very rare at home that DD gets time with me without DS.

[6rugrats]

We left our 1 yo with grandma on our 1st vacation after his birth,.....best thing we ever did. Gave us time to 'reconnect' as a couple...you ARE more than parents and it's a good thing to get away and remember that!

Baby and grandparents bonded big time, we got a much needed break and all was well!

 

I would try and talk Grandma into keeping BOTH kids and run like the wind!

 

Totally agree with both these posts. I would leave both children behind. You need a firm foundation before you can build walls. IMO, the parent's relationship comes first, and you need that time alone. We take a trip together once a year, and our kids can't wait to see us leave, so they can have fun without mom and dad.

 

There are no wrong answers; every family has to choose what's best for them.

[A&Jfamily]

There are no wrong answers; every family has to choose what's best for them.

 

Absolutely.

[lolakat]

We have a 2 year old and I've been on 3 cruises with her (6,8 and 18mo). It is a lot of work to have a baby period (on vacation or not). I did have fun with her but of course it is a totally different type of fun than non-baby care fun. DH and I just got back from a baby free week on the Carnival Pride and it was wonderful. DD was with grandma and likely had just as much fun as if she were on the boat with us. There were really no activities geared to toddlers on the Carnival Pride. I have heard that other lines do better with this (RCCL, DCL). We took DD on NCL for all of her previous cruises and I'm not sure it is "worth it" in the sense that she doesn't really have more fun than she would if she had my undivided attention at home. But I enjoy the break and I like to have the memories with her.

 

Overall, I think it will be a nice treat for your 3 yo to have your whole attention for a week and you may even get some alone time with DH if you 3 yo likes the kid's club. Either way you will have a great time so long as you approach it with the right expectations.

[Randomdes]

Thanks everyone, for you opinions and insight. I can see solid points everyone's posts. My husband and I, too, both married with plans to start a family and have been fortunate enough to have planned both children and are blessed with great kids. We do spend LOTS of family time together. I am a SAHM and my husband only works 2 weeks out of each month, so we are definitely together as a family often. I have never left either of my children, not even for a night at this point. However, my MIL lives with us and is hands on with the kids everyday, so I have complete confidence in her caring for my little guy. I know she would keep both kids if we asked, but I intended to take them both with us until she offered to keep the little one home with her since he wouldn't be able to do much and DS3 is having some jealousy issues.

We are not leaving him because we feel he would be a burden, but because we feel he wouldn't be as entertained or stimulated as he usually is and his routine would be seriously disrupted for much longer than the 7 days we'd be at sea.

 

Anyway, we've decided that it is best for him to spend his vacation at home this time and he will be joining us on several other family vacations this year and a cruise that we intend to book for the same time next year. Thanks again!

[Smithkids5521]

I would try and talk Grandma into keeping BOTH kids and run like the wind!

 

LMAO!!! It reminds me of the South West Airlines commercial when the parents drop the babies off with the grandparents and the poor grandpa is shuffling after the mom and dad as they jump in a cab- he's screaming "Don't leave me with the babies!!!" LOL!!!

 

I am kind of on the fence here- I can see how it may not be as relaxing with the younger one... too young for camp, too young for the pool, etc...no time alone for the grown ups. But I don't know if I could leave the baby for 7 days- the longest we did was a weekend and I couldn't really enjoy the time away!

But...OTOH what a nice way to remind the big brother that even though there is a new baby taking mom and dad's attention- he is still important and you love him and want to spend time with him...nice undivided attention for him!!! So my vote is go for it- leave baby with grandma but you may have to splurge on your cell phone plan so you can check in often!!;)

 

Have a great time- and if you can let us know how your cruise went!!

Take care,

Diana:)

[Onessa]

Randomdes - sounds like this is a good solution for your family situation.

 

As to some of the other posters -- on Monday, I shared a conversation with the neighbor's son, a really wonderful 20-something young man at home from college to take care of two of his much younger siblings whilst mom and dad were "getting away from the kids" (their words, not mine) for a long-long weekend trip (only a 3-day cruise but another 3-days travel time).

 

He loves his brothers and they love him. He doesn't mind doing this for his parents/family, but he did admit that as a child when he was on the kid side of the equation he really was hurt and did feel like he was being "dumped" on relatives when his parents went off like this once or twice a year.

 

I volunteer with a number of organizations for kids. There is a wide range of reactions among school aged kids when their parents are gone and gma/gpa or auntie or whomever is taking care of them.

 

Some look at it as an adventure, others don't really notice any difference, while some are disturbed.

 

Make the choice that is right for you and for your child -- don't cave into pressure by well meaning relatives if you are uncomfortable leaving your child behind, don't pressure relatives into taking care of your kids for you (ala the SouthWest commercial described below) if they do not seem comfortable with it, and don't just assume that your kid will be 'ok' with it you know your kids best.

[caribbound]

I would try and talk Grandma into keeping BOTH kids and run like the wind!

I'm with IBoz! We had our kids about 3 yrs apart (3 kids) and went on a vacation sans children when each one hit 15-18 months. The first time I missed him dearly, the 2nd and 3rd times we didn't want to come back! It's very good for the marriage.

[caribbound]

Thanks everyone, for you opinions and insight. I can see solid points everyone's posts. My husband and I, too, both married with plans to start a family and have been fortunate enough to have planned both children and are blessed with great kids. We do spend LOTS of family time together. I am a SAHM and my husband only works 2 weeks out of each month, so we are definitely together as a family often. I have never left either of my children, not even for a night at this point. However, my MIL lives with us and is hands on with the kids everyday, so I have complete confidence in her caring for my little guy. I know she would keep both kids if we asked, but I intended to take them both with us until she offered to keep the little one home with her since he wouldn't be able to do much and DS3 is having some jealousy issues.

We are not leaving him because we feel he would be a burden, but because we feel he wouldn't be as entertained or stimulated as he usually is and his routine would be seriously disrupted for much longer than the 7 days we'd be at sea.

 

Anyway, we've decided that it is best for him to spend his vacation at home this time and he will be joining us on several other family vacations this year and a cruise that we intend to book for the same time next year. Thanks again!

I didn't read ALL of the posts before posting above, but seeing that your 3 yo is having jealousy issues, this could be the perfect cure. You will have plenty of alone "couple" time as long as he's happy with camp carnival. Mine are older, but I couldn't get them to spend time "bonding" with me bc they "can see me everyday, won't see the new friends ever again"... :o:(

[Julienatul]

I am one of those crazy moms who refuses to travel without both kids. ;) I have been known to travel without my hubby, but not without the kids. :p

 

Yes, it can be done.

 

Is it "worth it" -- well now THAT is up to you. He won't be able to use the pools on Carnival Pride. They don't have a pool for unpotty trained tots. So that will be a biggie for some.

 

I agree with cruisinmama06, I also cannot travel without my two kids I wouldnt enjoy myself unless it was a short getaway. We just cruised with my 4 yr old and 12 month old. It was some "work" keeping DS happy but definitely an enjoyable cruise. On our cruise before this we ran into a couple who had left their child home and she was in tears the entire cruise, literally everytime we saw her she was crying and said she would never do it again. Then a cruise before that we sat with a couple who left their 3yr and 4 month old home and had a great time. It depends on you and what you need. Your child will be fine with grandma and you deserve some relaxing time too. If you can handle being away from him/ her go for it. It will give you nice bonding time with your older one too without having to share the attention. If you feel you will not enjoy yourself then bring the younger one along but know it will be work just like at home. I must mention my DS now 14 months is going through a rough phase right now-screaming, throwing things, doesnt want to sit, dumping over food bowls etc mostly because he cant verbalize his needs yet. We decided to wait a bit for our next cruise until he turns two.

 

Good luck.

Julie

[imsulin]

I'm a firm believer in Mom & Dad time and Family Time - separately. When ours were little, our first two cruises were on the old Pacific Princess. No such thing as kids' clubs, the price would have eaten into their college funds, and we truly enjoyed these kidless cruises! (There were more, as well). The kids loved Grandma who never made them eat broccolli and let them have four desserts at Furr's Cafeteria. They far more enjoyed family trips in the Suburban to Disneyland, Yellowstone, Dinosaur Nat'l. Monument, skiing, etc. We enjoyed convention trips to Las Vegas, and they enjoyed Grandma's home-made ice cream and watching taped episodes of Dukes of Hazzard while slumber partying in the family room into the wee hours. I just spent three weeks in Oregon with DD and family, and Mom and Dad were able to spend a weekend away at the beach while I watched the 3 and 1 yr. olds. We had a blast! Went to the library and the park, had French toast for dinner, decorated the entire bathroom with tub crayons, and wore Halloween costumes just for fun. And I didn't make them eat any broccolli - they did it on their own. However - it took me two bottles each of Aleve and Two Buck Chuck to recover! I say leave the little one with Grandma and enjoy your cruise!