How can I get my wife to cruise?

[fiedav]

I'm 68, in a wheelchair, and looking to take first-time cruise.

 

However, my wife of 25 years, who is 65, has no desire to come.

 

Her idea of a perfect vacation is to read novels by the hotel pool. She thinks that the crowds will be awful (and presumes that everywhere will be like a drunk Carnival Cruise).

 

She's a large woman, mainly because, like me, she likes to eat well. Neither of us is very active. So, let me ask the questions:

 

Did anyone here go a cruise reluctantly?

 

Was there something about cruising that really endeared you to it, that you weren't aware of when you started cruising?

 

I was thinking of going on a large Celebrity cruise to the Caribbean for a week or so, in a handicapped cabin with a verandah.

 

I have medical aides that come some 20 times a week, and two of them went on a solo cruise (not together) and loved it.

 

So, any advice?

[paul929207]

Lots of people are hesitant to cruise for a wide range of reasons.

 

I assume you can function on a cruise without the medical aides. There is a medical center on the ships, but they are mainly for the emergency care required on the ship.

 

There are cruise lines that are aimed at a more mature passenger set while others aim at the younger crowds.

[imnance]

Leave the wife at home and, if you can afford it, take the aides along.

 

I will tell you this though, your wife's idea of a perfect vacation pretty much mirrors mine. I just read my book on my balcony by the sea. :)

 

My husband was a reluctant cruiser in 2007, I just booked our 7th and he said, "It's about time!"

 

Good luck!

[Krazy Kruizers]

Welcome to Cruise Critic.

You might want to check out the Vista and Signature class ships of HAL -- they have some very nice handicapped cabins that have verandahs.

What worries me about you -- aides come at least 20 times a week to your home. All ships have an infirmary but only for minor issues. The nurses on staff can not able to help you with whatever problems take care of for you. Are you able to pay for a medical aide to have a cabin of his/her own? That can be very expensive as solo prices are very steep on some ships.

Let us know what you decide.

[emd9112001]

Your wife won't have to worry about crowds if she enjoys her cruise on a nice balcony :) (Use that to lure her, then she can see for herself it isn't as crowded as she expects). Some people just don't realize how large these ships really are. She enjoys eating? Where else is she going to dine on fancy 5 course meals every night? And as much as she wants to eat at no extra cost! :D

 

I also would suggest that you bring along your aides.

Hope you can make it happen!

[dolittle]

I have a dear friend who is large and would love to travel and it is the plane and not the ship that he was avoiding . Maybe a cruise you can drive to might work for her.

[sail7seas]

I agree with the others about being sure you can manage without your medical aides.

 

Maybe your wife is concerned it won't be safe for you...

or that it will be too much for her to handle?

Is that something that might explain her reluctance?

 

[delily]

She thinks hotel pools aren't crowded?

 

I first cruised reluctantly. In fact, the only reason I took my first cruise on RCCL was because it was organized as a family reunion cruise by my husband's family and I could hardly say 'no' to that. I hate crowds. I'm an introvert at heart and the idea of being stuck in a confined space with 2000 other people did not sound the least bit appealing to me. But it was fine. In fact, it was really very nice. No place was it ever really "crowded." It sounds like a lot of people but ships are huge and the people are distributed throughout. I found that there are many places on the ship where there are hardly any people at all -- like the library or shopping area or, surprisingly, some bars. There are popular "hot" spots where all the people tend to gather and other places which get little traffic at all (that's where you'll find me). I still avoid the pool area but that's just because I'm not a swimmer or a sun bather. I avoid hotel pools too. But there are always plenty of lounge chairs in quiet, out of the way places where one can sit and read and enjoy the ocean view. My second cruise also turned out to be a "forced" vacation when my daughter decided to get married on a Carnival ship. By that time though, I knew it would be fine and even fun. This will be my third cruise and I booked it voluntarily because I loved the itinerary. It's a ship with an older demographic so it should be more laid back. I love the idea of traveling at night and waking up in a new port each morning. No wasted time traveling between cities because the ship travels while I sleep! I love only unpacking once and not having to schlepp bags from city to city. I love not having to pay for an expensive rental car. A cruise ship is really nothing more than a very large, floating hotel and rental car all rolled into one. If you can get your wife to give it a try, I'll bet she likes it. A lot.

[Keith1010]

If you have friends who cruise let them also tell her how much fun she would have on the cruise.

 

Keith

[Piggeldy]

Did anyone here go a cruise reluctantly?

 

My husband.

 

I had to force him onto his first cruise - which really was only a "mini cruise" from Northern Germany (Kiel) to Norway (Oslo) and back. I booked, paid, put him on a train without telling him where we were going. He loved it. It has become our go-to we-need-to-get-out-of-here vacation and we go at least once a year. He has even experienced a horrible winter storm once with 30 foot swells... and we still went again this year (our 6th time I think).

 

For our first "real" cruise I still had to pursuade him. Hurtigruten up the Norway coast, 11 days round trip, in winter. He loved it. He really wants to do it again, preferably in summer, but while the price was fine for a honeymoon... nope, not happening again any time soon.

 

Now we have booked our first real real cruise, a TA on Celebrity and he is really really excited. It has a lot of sea days thus there will be a lot of relaxing and reading by the pool.

 

I have to agree with the others though... are you sure your wife isn't mainly concerned about health issues and being able to handle them on the ship, without professional help? If that is the case, ask your aids if they would consider joining you for the cruise (on your cost in their own cabin) or if they know of someone who might be willing to join you and to give medical assistance as needed (again, on your cost of course).

[fiedav]

Let me give you some more information.

 

I am paraplegic and need someone to get me up and someone to put me to bed. Other than that I'm probably as healthy as any 68-year-old. On the weekends here I have an aide only twice a day, so that's what I'm hoping to do.

 

I will almost certainly have to take an aide with me. I can take her in the cabin (on the roll away bed if my wife comes). After all, aides see me naked every day, and although there is something still down there, I'm not a groper or looking for any way to exploit her presence (!) .

 

I would pay for her cruise (and getting to it), pay spending money, and pay what she'd get from the aide company. Since she gets under $12/hour, I have to do this. But compare that to what would happen if I went through the aide company - at least $38 an hour, 24 hours a day.

 

It seems more and more like this is what would happen - no wife. I think it would be easier than I anticipate, but still hard. I doubt that there would be any medical emergency, any more than for anyone of my age.

 

I think my wife would be happy to be at home alone for a week.

 

The plan is to fly from here (MA) to Florida and take a cruise with Celebrity because I like my food. Unless something bad happens that the aide needs to help with, she could spend her days on shore excursions or being on board without dealing with me.

[RoofingPrincess]

fiedav, most cruise cabins don't permit a rollaway... but some accessible cabins do have a sofa bed.

[kitty9]

The only problem with the OP having his own cabin and the aide having her own is that he'll be paying four full fares, because of the single supplement.

 

I strongly suggest that the OP makes sure his aide is willing to do this, especially the whole sharing a cabin thing. Maybe she'll not feel comfortable, and maybe she'll want her privacy.

 

As for crowds, if you cruise when school is in session, you'll find that the ships aren't as crowded. I've been on Celebrity many times and I've never felt the ship was crowded except on the one cruise when we went over Easter week and they had loads of kids on board.

 

And Celebrity isn't a Carnival cruise by any stretch of the imagination. Celebrity is more upscale, more sedate and less party hearty than Carnival.

 

But if someone is adamant about not wanting to do something, I don't think you'll be changing her mind regardless of how hard you try.

[lady_cruiser]

I'm 68, in a wheelchair, and looking to take first-time cruise.

 

However, my wife of 25 years, who is 65, has no desire to come.

 

Her idea of a perfect vacation is to read novels by the hotel pool. She thinks that the crowds will be awful (and presumes that everywhere will be like a drunk Carnival Cruise).

 

She's a large woman, mainly because, like me, she likes to eat well. Neither of us is very active. So, let me ask the questions:

 

Did anyone here go a cruise reluctantly?

 

Was there something about cruising that really endeared you to it, that you weren't aware of when you started cruising?

 

I was thinking of going on a large Celebrity cruise to the Caribbean for a week or so, in a handicapped cabin with a verandah.

 

I have medical aides that come some 20 times a week, and two of them went on a solo cruise (not together) and loved it.

 

So, any advice?

Find a hotel near the cruise port that you wife will be happy staying in and then go on a cruise with your aides.

[Silvery Seas Cruiser]

What if you managed to arrange for a male aide for the cruise? I think that would be a lot more comfortable for both you and the aide to share the same room, especially if your wife cannot go.

 

You can assure your wife, however, that she can, indeed, spend her entire cruise on the balcony reading. In fact, she can have every meal delivered to your room and eat her meals on the balcony. Plus you can bring her snacks too. My last cruise, the people beside us had every meal delivered to their balcony.

 

I spend a lot of time on our balcony. One night I fell asleep out there and didn't wake up until the sun came up the next morning!

 

We are big Celebrity fans. Their Solstice Class ships are very spacious. I never felt crowded on the two-week cruise we just did late last month. Bathrooms can be crowded and cramped, but if you book a handicapped room, the bathroom is much more spacious to accomodate wheel chairs.

[Elaine5715]

Look at you tube videos. The typical cruiser on Celebrity is closer to the two of you than maybe her imagination of 20 somethings beauties cavorting around the pool.

Nothing better than reading on your balcony looking at the ocean waves.

Google images of Celebrity menu items and menus. If she likes to eat as much as the rest of us, the idea you can order multiple items to sample new foods. Ordering room service for the cost of couple bucks for a tip? What hotel can you do that?

[Swells1]

I'm certainly not in your situation, but I did have a DH who absolutely refused to go on a cruise. That is, until I did a little research and found a New England/ Canada itinerary that he loved. He had a wonderful time, and now, he'll cruise just about anywhere. :rolleyes:

[Maldanardo]

As others have suggested, I think a good idea maybe to take your aide along with you as well. It may be expensive but would allow you to cruise.

[fiedav]

So I asked one of my aides, if she could sort things out at this end (she has kids) would she share a cabin with me and my wife?

 

Answer: Yes.

 

But what if my wife didn't come, and it was just me?

 

Answer: Yes.

 

I guess I must appear even more decrepit than I actually am. :(

[paul929207]

So I asked one of my aides, if she could sort things out at this end (she has kids) would she share a cabin with me and my wife?

 

Answer: Yes.

 

But what if my wife didn't come, and it was just me?

 

Answer: Yes.

 

I guess I must appear even more decrepit than I actually am. :(

Not decrepit, trustworthy

[new.b.cruiser]

You've been married 25 years! That takes a lot of work and compromise, I am sure that if you talk to her and tell her that it's something you want to experience at least once in your life she would understand and go with you.. and once she actually experiences it she will fall in love with cruising

[cruisefun27]

It will happen!! I have been married for 32 years and I finally got my husband to ok to a cruise. We will be on the Nov. 2, 11 day cruise with PG. This will be my 7th cruise but the first with him. So there is always HOPE!!!

[BeagleOne]

Do you think some of your wife's reluctance might have to do with how far you'd be from a full-service hospital should you have a serious problem? You might want to post on/peruse the cruising with disabilities board here on CC; lots of good information over there.

[donaldsc]

 

 

I will almost certainly have to take an aide with me. I can take her in the cabin (on the roll away bed if my wife comes). After all, aides see me naked every day, and although there is something still down there, I'm not a groper or looking for any way to exploit her presence (!) .

 

 

Some larger cabins have a bed and a pull out couch. She could sleep on the pull out couch. Also, you could get a connecting cabin so that she could get into your room easily.

 

I have not read all of the posts but make sure that the cruise line is aware of all the existing and potential medical issues before you book.

 

I agree w those who have said that you should leave the wife behind so that you can enjoy yourself.

 

DON

[Elaine5715]

Having worked as a personal care aide, please remember the aide is not on vacation. They may have some unscheduled time when you are otherwise occupied. Their costs to accompany you should not be considered as counting towards their compensation.