How did my minor child get drunk on Ruby?

[arpster]

from the thread title I pictured a toddler standing on a barstool with a bottle of Bud...

 

a 16 yr old has too much to drink? - well I never....(well I did but that's not for now)

[ONT-CA]

Perhaps you should go back and read my post slower. The first issue I pointed out I had was indeed with my son. Go ahead and reread it - I'll wait.

 

You'll wait in vain. Princess cheerleaders are known for executing the messenger.

[greenie082756]

Not that we could afford it, however if the opportunity had, I probably would of left my teenage children @ home with responsible adults. There is no way I want my vacation ruined by wondering where my kids were and what/who were they getting mixed up in. I considered my teenage kids (now grown responsible hard working adults) responsible however there is always temptation.

IF we had been able to take our teenage children on a cruise I would of had several discussions about doing the wrong things on a cruise and how we can get kicked off the ship to a point their ears hurt. It is not the ships responsibility to parent your children..it is yours and all that comes with it.

[Hulagirl]

I'd like to know how the OP dealt with her almost 17 year old son.

 

I feel bad that there might be a crew member losing his job because 2 idiot kids stole an ID and got drunk. The only way for crew to check age is the ship ID card and it doesn't have a photo.

 

I can also understand the youth leader asking the 2 boys to leave as the age group in that area is 13 to 17. Maybe the boys were acting drunker than they were to show off and the leaders didn't want the younger kids exposed to that.

 

I would suggest that the parents leave the kid at home with grandma for the next cruise.

 

 

I agree that I'd feel bad for a crew member losing their job over this too. I do have to comment about the photo ID. We have sailed on the Sapphire and the Crown with our daughter since she turned 21 a few years ago. She always carried her drivers license with her and was constantly ID'd at all the bars or lounges if she ordered a drink, even when she was with us. After they would see her a couple of times, then they didn't have to ask because they would remember. She didn't look younger than 21, so asking for an ID was common on both ships. I would doubt, if the OP was on the Ruby, they didn't have the same policy also.

[Cauzneffct]

My take from the OP's post was that she did acknowledge her sons responsibility in this but Staff dropped the ball by not making sure a "drunk" teen got back to his cabin safely and that his parents were aware of his condition. It was very irresponsible to just kick him out in that condition. At his age, he could come and go from the teen club but a responsbile staff memeber would have made sure he got to his cabin safely.

 

I'm curious as to how "drunk" the teen was. I think there's an assumption that he was "fall-down wasted," but he could have also just had the smell of drink on him and that prompted him to be told to leave. If it was the former, then there may be an issue. If the latter, I'm less concerned with just turning him away.

[Host Jazzbeau]

I think that you are on to something here...

Explorer of the Seas Roll Calls

December 22-29, 2013 Explorer

 

That post was back in May, following a couple of posts worrying about driving from Michigan to New Jersey in December to start the cruise. Then nothing further on the Roll Call.

 

So isn't it reasonable to assume she cancelled the RCL cruise in favor of Princess?

 

I'm not defending OP, but it seems that a lot of people are jumping to attack her even though we don't have all the facts.

[geoherb]

I agree with Cauzneffect. Was the kid obviously drunk or did he just smell of alcohol? We were on this same cruise, and I have to say that the kids were generally well behaved. We never saw any of them do anything wrong.

 

I also agree with the OP that the kids should have been held by security until they were released to their parents' custody. Leaving a message on the phone is not adequate. Teenagers are not rational. Their brains are not mature. They make rash decisions. I would not let one who had been drinking go off on his own recognizance.

[own]

I originally booked on the RC cruise and changed my mind, canceled and then booked on Princess.

 

I am not letting my son off the hook. Quite the opposite. It's being handled at home.

 

Asking questions is a smart thing to do, thus my question about how he could have gotten his hands on booze (along with another minor). In some of the responses, I have received my answer. Thank you for that. It paints a clearer picture for me.

 

As may or may not be the case here, as an observation, I will say if the cruiseline is not clearly marking minor's cards as being minor's....they are culpable. To suggest otherwise would suggest every store or restaurant owner is off the hook too, because the kid should have known better and been given a better talking to by his parents. It is a kid's "job" to test the line. It is the job of parents and sellers of liquor to make that very, very difficult. And at this point, it is my responsibility and intent to lay down consequences for his actions. I don't subscribe to the above mentioned theory that I'm making too big a deal out of it because he is a year away from college.

[Loonbeam]

As noted - there are two issues here.

 

1 - a minor was served. Honestly, we'll never know all the details without video or something, but honestly, this gets filed under 'carp happens'. The kid should not have drank, the bartender should have probably checked ID, the other kid basically committed fraud, but this is something that happens every day in college towns across america. The staff member should be retrained unless he or she knowingly served a minor (and like I said, we won't know that).

 

2 - What happened after. Again, we probably won't know the details. The OP stated that the kids were 'kicked out' and since a message was left, I will assume that meant they were asked to leave for some behavior that was inappropriate. Now the question becomes, what does the cruise line do..

 

Thinking about it more, escorting the teens back to cabins won't work. For liability reasons, you would need at least 2 security people in each teen's cabin. Not resource practical. If you just escort them back to the room, they can just leave. The brig would be effective, but possible, but that might be overkill. It's possible that someone made a judgement call based on how inebriated the teens appeared to be, if they were just acting like jerks it may have been more prudent just to send them off. I AM certain that if they thought there was a severe risk, things might have been different.

 

This whole thing brings up a different issue as regards cruise ships, resorts, etc. They need a better way to reach parents. I want to be clear I don't have a practical solution (Dinsey's wave phones are the closest), but one of the drivers here were that the OP could not be contacted easily. Otherwise the resolution would have been simple. Call them and come to the teen center to pick them up. This prevents the line from having to act like parents at times. Thoughts?

[Loonbeam]

The card should be flagged when run through a POS system. Since the other teen had a parent's card (and it would NOT surprise me to find out Dad handed it over willingly) the POS system would not have alerted the server/bartender.

 

Also, and I stress this is my opinion - given they ordered martinis this is probably not the first time this happened. I dealt with this more than a few times when I ran a camp, and rarely are mixed drinks the starter beverage of choice (almost always beer, sometimes whiskey or tequila, rarely mixed. Then again, this was in the days before the internet...)

 

I originally booked on the RC cruise and changed my mind, canceled and then booked on Princess.

 

I am not letting my son off the hook. Quite the opposite. It's being handled at home.

 

Asking questions is a smart thing to do, thus my question about how he could have gotten his hands on booze (along with another minor). In some of the responses, I have received my answer. Thank you for that. It paints a clearer picture for me.

 

As may or may not be the case here, as an observation, I will say if the cruiseline is not clearly marking minor's cards as being minor's....they are culpable. To suggest otherwise would suggest every store or restaurant owner is off the hook too, because the kid should have known better and been given a better talking to by his parents. It is a kid's "job" to test the line. It is the job of parents and sellers of liquor to make that very, very difficult. And at this point, it is my responsibility and intent to lay down consequences for his actions. I don't subscribe to the above mentioned theory that I'm making too big a deal out of it because he is a year away from college.

[baronessk]

You asked the CC forum....."How in the hell did a minor get served?". Your son has the answer to that question. As for the posters who said he should have been escorted back to his cabin...and then what? Post a guard outside the door? He could have easily left! I would have thought that maybe the parents would be paged in addition to the message.

 

I certainly hope that a staff server will not lose their job over a poor decision by an irresponsible teen-ager, and if they do, I hope that said teen-ager lives with the fact that his rebellion costs a family their income and support.

 

Having said all of this, I was at Crooners the sailing of the week prior and a group of 4 young people who looked over 21 ordered drinks and each and everyone was asked for ID. One young lady had none and the server said that unless she returned to her cabin to get it she would not be served.

 

Good luck with your son and I hope lessons are learned all around from this post.

[Ethel5]

.....................................SNIP.......................The card should be flagged when run through a POS system. Since the other teen had a parent's card (and it would NOT surprise me to find out Dad handed it over willingly) the POS system would not have alerted the server/bartender.

 

The thought that the other kid's Dad willingly handed over his ID is a strong possibility and I thought of it while reading the OP.

[Cruiserkenn]

He's 16; don't you think you're over-reacting a little? I mean, if he were 10, sure, holy crap. But in a year, he'll be in college and I'm pretty sure alcohol will be involved there and with no "teen club" staff to hold his hand.

 

Definitely right. There's no teen club at college.

 

On ships, there is lots of alcohol available in room mini bars, which new friends on the ship might be able to access. So... Needless to say, teens and all of us are responsible for our own behavior.

 

 

 

Thanks for this wise posting.

Edited January 3, 2014 by Cruisin'Rabbit

[Cruiserkenn]

He said there was a lot going on that night - pipes had burst and there was flooding, so there was a lot of resources dealing with that issue. That being said, he said there'd now be an investigation. He'd backtrack at the teen club, and follow the path of the booze from there. He said if this had happened before our stop at Grand Cayman, my son would have likely been booted. If he finds out who is responsible for service, that person will be given a one way ticket out of their job. He said these things were taken seriously and that it becomes a matter of Federal Investigation and a case will be opened now that I spoke to him.

 

I'm not sure if he was just legit or telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. He also suggested I punch my son in the kidney if I wanted to get his attention, adding that I could bring son to him in the morning for a lecture if I'd like.

 

Yes, I wondered about being booted off the ship. Good to know that it could have happened in Grand Cayman.

[JimmyVWine]

A few observations, some of which have already been made.

 

Most of the crew members are from countries where the drinking age is far less than 21. At every single dinner in every single dining venue on every single Princess ship I have been on since my daughter turned 15, the server has brought (or left) 3 wine glasses for pouring our wine bottles. We have to be the ones to tell the server that our daughter will not be having any wine. Without that instruction, she would be served. (To be fair, this happens all the time in places like New York and Miami as well). If a 16-17 year old looks older, it is very possible to get served. This is not right, and servers are responsible for not serving minors. But this is true for all bars and restaurants, at land or on sea, ,and minors get served every hour of every day. The drinking establishment bears some responsibility (as reflected by state laws and licensing requirements), the underage drinker bears responsibility and the parents bear some responsibility.

 

As for sending the drunk teen home, I agree that the drinking likely took place outside of the teen center. From my daughter's experiences, the teen center is mainly used as a meeting area from which groups of teens then move on to other parts of the ship (such as hot tubs, clubs, MUTS, etc.) By signing up with the teen center, parents are agreeing to "come and go" privileges for their teens. The teen center cannot detain them, and it would be dangerous to do so. (Most 16 year old boys would have no difficulty overpowering the young women who staff the teen center.) Instead of getting kicked out of the teen center, I think it is more likely that they were not allowed in. Or maybe they went back to the teen center, were quickly "found out" and told to leave. Parents were called. Not sure what more they should do. What does your local bar in your hometown do when it discovers a teen drinking there? Kicks them out. And perhaps the kid then gets behind the wheel of a car. They don't detain the teen, or walk them home. They simply kick them out. I don't see where Princess should be held to a higher standard.

[DShock]

The FACTs are that ultimately its a parents responsibility to control their children and educate them on what is acceptable and what isn't. It isn't about Princess at all, its about who is responsible. PARENTS are responsible, period. Many of the problems our society has relate to parenting...or a lack of. People are always quick to blame everyone but themselves if their children go astray.

[Cruiserkenn]

I'd like to know how the OP dealt with her almost 17 year old son.

 

I feel bad that there might be a crew member losing his job because 2 idiot kids stole an ID and got drunk. The only way for crew to check age is the ship ID card and it doesn't have a photo.

 

I can also understand the youth leader asking the 2 boys to leave as the age group in that area is 13 to 17. Maybe the boys were acting drunker than they were to show off and the leaders didn't want the younger kids exposed to that.

 

I would suggest that the parents leave the kid at home with grandma for the next cruise.

 

Yes. Leaving the teen at home with grandma (or maybe a big strong grandpa, too) would be a most appropriate consequence.

[RickEk]

You asked the CC forum....."How in the hell did a minor get served?". Your son has the answer to that question. As for the posters who said he should have been escorted back to his cabin...and then what? Post a guard outside the door? He could have easily left! I would have thought that maybe the parents would be paged in addition to the message.

 

I certainly hope that a staff server will not lose their job over a poor decision by an irresponsible teen-ager, and if they do, I hope that said teen-ager lives with the fact that his rebellion costs a family their income and support.

 

Having said all of this, I was at Crooners the sailing of the week prior and a group of 4 young people who looked over 21 ordered drinks and each and everyone was asked for ID. One young lady had none and the server said that unless she returned to her cabin to get it she would not be served.

 

Good luck with your son and I hope lessons are learned all around from this post.

 

My 23-year old son and his 24-year old friend were carded every time they tried to purchase alcohol on our last cruise. They always had to carry their ID's onboard. The server on the OP's cruise probably should have been more vigilant (but who knows, maybe they got an adult to purchase the drinks with the Dad's card?).

 

A few observations, some of which have already been made.

 

Most of the crew members are from countries where the drinking age is far less than 21. At every single dinner in every single dining venue on every single Princess ship I have been on since my daughter turned 15, the server has brought (or left) 3 wine glasses for pouring our wine bottles. We have to be the ones to tell the server that our daughter will not be having any wine. Without that instruction, she would be served. (To be fair, this happens all the time in places like New York and Miami as well). If a 16-17 year old looks older, it is very possible to get served. This is not right, and servers are responsible for not serving minors. But this is true for all bars and restaurants, at land or on sea, ,and minors get served every hour of every day. The drinking establishment bears some responsibility (as reflected by state laws and licensing requirements), the underage drinker bears responsibility and the parents bear some responsibility.

 

As for sending the drunk teen home, I agree that the drinking likely took place outside of the teen center. From my daughter's experiences, the teen center is mainly used as a meeting area from which groups of teens then move on to other parts of the ship (such as hot tubs, clubs, MUTS, etc.) By signing up with the teen center, parents are agreeing to "come and go" privileges for their teens. The teen center cannot detain them, and it would be dangerous to do so. (Most 16 year old boys would have no difficulty overpowering the young women who staff the teen center.) Instead of getting kicked out of the teen center, I think it is more likely that they were not allowed in. Or maybe they went back to the teen center, were quickly "found out" and told to leave. Parents were called. Not sure what more they should do. What does your local bar in your hometown do when it discovers a teen drinking there? Kicks them out. And perhaps the kid then gets behind the wheel of a car. They don't detain the teen, or walk them home. They simply kick them out. I don't see where Princess should be held to a higher standard.

 

Agreed!

[marazad16]

Did you ask your son how they got the drinks? Did you speak to the others kids parent(s)?

 

The only issue I have is that they didn't have security or some other ship personnel detain them and release them into your care.

 

Unless there are more details on how they were served in the first place, I couldn't place blame anywhere but on the kids. Personal responsibility for their actions comes first.

[Julia’s Journey’s]

He said there was a lot going on that night - pipes had burst and there was flooding, so there was a lot of resources dealing with that issue. That being said, he said there'd now be an investigation. He'd backtrack at the teen club, and follow the path of the booze from there. He said if this had happened before our stop at Grand Cayman, my son would have likely been booted. If he finds out who is responsible for service, that person will be given a one way ticket out of their job. He said these things were taken seriously and that it becomes a matter of Federal Investigation and a case will be opened now that I spoke to him.

 

I'm not sure if he was just legit or telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. He also suggested I punch my son in the kidney if I wanted to get his attention, adding that I could bring son to him in the morning for a lecture if I'd like.

 

So someone will lose there job on the ship after the investigation, maybe a couple (the server and teen person) hope your son has some serious consequences too.

I have a 16 and 19 year old and both know there would be very severe consequences for behaviour like that - I would blame no one but my kid/son who has been tought that you make the choice to do something and you face the consequences that come with that choice - 'you can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink'.

Tough love but life is tough!!!

[cruiseryyc]

Perhaps you should go back and read my post slower. The first issue I pointed out I had was indeed with my son. Go ahead and reread it - I'll wait.

 

Actually I have read your post several times and obviously you weren't with your son as you stated that you signed him into the teen club; they called you when there was a problem; if you were with him - he wouldn't have been drinking.

[Dudleydog73]

Also, and I stress this is my opinion - given they ordered martinis this is probably not the first time this happened. I dealt with this more than a few times when I ran a camp, and rarely are mixed drinks the starter beverage of choice (almost always beer, sometimes whiskey or tequila, rarely mixed. Then again, this was in the days before the internet...)

 

Oh I don't know about that. If the martini in question was made with vodka, that is a nice odorless, colorless, alcohol that one learns to use early on to avoid detection.

[24639]

I have no opinions or answers on the OP's post. But, I would like to thank OP for writing about the experience here on CC. I worry about being a bit too overprotective with my son when traveling and I have learned from your post that my concern is valid.

I hope everything works out well for you and your son.

[cruzsnooze]

Perhaps you should go back and read my post slower. The first issue I pointed out I had was indeed with my son. Go ahead and reread it - I'll wait.

Princess is blameless but your son is not. He stole and drank, what did Princess do wrong, nothing. Why would they know to do anything since he was obviously at a bar acting like an adult. Should princess walk everyone who drinks back to their cabin? It's so easy to throw the blame or a portion to someone else.

[LoveThisCruisingThing]

He's 16; don't you think you're over-reacting a little? I mean, if he were 10, sure, holy crap. But in a year, he'll be in college and I'm pretty sure alcohol will be involved there and with no "teen club" staff to hold his hand.

 

Wow. I think the parent is reacting just fine. Her son is underage and someone gave the booze to him. If we had been caught drinking at that age, all heck would have broken out. Maybe you will have a different reaction if you have children who drink while under aged. Or will you be one of those parents who say, "I rather have them drink at home so I know what they are doing"?