Rudeness and bad manners - in the eye of the beholder?

[treasure4two]

Brig. Summary hearing. Gang plank. :) Perhaps some lashes for good measure.

 

Teenagers almost knocked down a woman on a walker. Totally unacceptable so I made a decision on how I will handle it.

I am a woman and if I am at the front of the elevator and someone starts to rush on before we are all out, I give them a stiff arm with my hand up and tell them to wait. If I am in the back, I very loudly tell them to wait.

Both work most of the time. If someone thinks my actions are rude-your opinion-I will continue.

[BadBoysDriveAudi]

The statement you quoted does not deserve your reply, or the ones from others listing their ailments. The statement didn't say, "People who look able-bodied, but aren't, using an elevator one floor." Relax. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

We can all agree (or maybe not) that people who ARE able-bodied should use the stairs and leave the elevators to those who need them.

 

 

Not necessarily. I'm completely able-bodied and prefer to use the stairs for the exercise. I'd peg my stair utilization across all cruises at 98% or higher. However, I, too, enjoy the sights seen when using the glass backed elevators. Should I not use them to enjoy the sights that others are experiencing? Should I end the conversation I'm having with an older couple because they decided to stop at the elevator bank?

 

I've never considered seeing able-bodied folk at the elevators as rude. My first two cruises, I'd chuckle underneath my breathe and secretly call them lazy but certainly didn't see them as rude. I was then "educated" on two particular events: one where I was walking by the elevators and heard a comment from an individual speaking to his wife about how badly his knee felt. He looked able-bodied to me. Is he lazy? Certainly not. The other was when I was at the elevator bank having a conversation with...you guessed it...an older couple and realized that I could potentially refer to myself as lazy if I was just a passing soul with no perspective as to what was occurring.

 

And that's just it -- perspective. Which is why I was drawn to the OP's thread about what different cultures consider to be or not to be rude. I'm sure there are some readers here that thought the same about who they presumed to be able-bodied and have just been introduced to a new perspective. Cheers to the folks that spoke up.

[cbr663]

On our last cruise we were in the Lido for lunch. My DW was stopped at a table to allow a gentleman with his walker get to his seat. There was a child of about 9 or 10 behind my DW who could not see why my DW was stopped in front of him. This child actually elbowed my DW in the side to move out of his way. I don't know who was more shocked, my DW for suddenly being elbowed or me watching this kid elbow my DW.

[hrhdhd]

You have good points. However, I would like to clarify the stair issue. I personally look able body to use stairs. Yet, when I use them they cause me great pain so whenever possible I do not use them. So. That able body you think can do stairs may not due to bad knees and would be in pain the remainder of there cruise.

 

Again, if you are NOT able bodied, you don't fit the described rude behavior.

 

Take the elevator, take the stairs. Whatever. Just don't push people out of the way in either case.

[Riversedge]

People who sign up for cruise critic shore excursions and then don't show up leaving the rest to wait or having to pony up their share to meet the requirements of the guide

 

Someone cracking their gum in the theater or lectures

 

Bathrobes outside the room

 

Unsupervised children, especially in the dining room, but around the ship as well

 

Removing tips from staff

 

People who don't treat staff as a friend: get to know them, ask about their family or to see a picture of kids or spouse. They love this

 

Not taking time to take care of your dirty pool towels

 

People who get all the way to the gate to get off and don't have their ship card ready.

 

And, for all the airport people: taking more than one chair when the gate area is full and people are having to stand

[Murray's Pop]

about eating directly from the buffet? In some cultures this is appropriate

 

I have traveled quite a bit, but I can not remember any culture where eating directly from a buffet is appropriate.

[hrhdhd]

I've never considered seeing able-bodied folk at the elevators as rude. My first two cruises, I'd chuckle underneath my breathe and secretly call them lazy but certainly didn't see them as rude. I was then "educated" on two particular events: one where I was walking by the elevators and heard a comment from an individual speaking to his wife about how badly his knee felt. He looked able-bodied to me. Is he lazy? Certainly not. The other was when I was at the elevator bank having a conversation with...you guessed it...an older couple and realized that I could potentially refer to myself as lazy if I was just a passing soul with no perspective as to what was occurring.

 

I didn't use the word lazy, and the original complaint was about able-bodied people not taking the stairs to go up or down one deck.

 

You can take them or not. I don't care. I take the stairs, and people probably look at me and think I should be in an elevator. But, hey, I don't really care what people think in that case, and nor should anyone with an invisible health problem.

[babyher]

The elevators are there for ALL to use. One deck or ten, some need to use them, some prefer to.

(Having said that, I'm a stair climber and only use the elevator for embarkation and disembarkation.)

 

 

 

I have never seen an elevator with a handicapped placard on it. I agree you want to use the elevator for one or ten floors use it. Don't push, shove , be courteous and give people a chance to get out before you get on.

 

But it's none of anyone's business who takes the elevator.

[pmd98052]

Its fascinating that the other thread about "manners" - Hats in the MDR - Was closed with 25+ post removals due to vitriol, personal attacks etc and those 25 posts were nearly all from those arguing for good manners.

 

Its telling.

 

And yes my bad on the elevator thing - I do realize many disabilities are hidden.

[Jazmyn49]

Boo, hiss on those who leave the balcony lights on. It upset us until we figured out we could ask our steward to turn off the lights next door. That worked.

[CruisinChick1960]

My biggest peeve is teams that cheat playing trivia all for the sake of HAL pin. Sheesh!

[I_r_a]

Sign at the public tennis court:

Please limit your time to 45 min.

 

A & B play for 45 min. A wins.

 

A& C play for 45 min.

 

A Wins.

 

A& D play for 45 min.c

 

D wins.

 

etc

 

"I was only playing for 45 min".

 

((I))

[I_r_a]

Hey Mak,

 

>.... people reaching in with their hands multiple times and eating ....

 

How about when they pick something up, taste it and put it back?

 

Ira

[I_r_a]

> Folks who remove their shoes and prop up their feet on an adjacent chair. I'm not aware of any country where this would be a cultural norm.

 

I agree. When I taught at a Major State University, the students wouldn't bother to take off their shoes.

 

Ira

[Folk Singer]

The recent thread about hats in the MDR made me think about how subjective good manners really are. I was reminded of a thread on another CC board when someone was complaining how ill mannered it is when people save a table in the buffet and take it in turns to get their food. Some agreed and some could not understand what the problem was. Personally I think it is common sense which means in this person's eyes we are being very rude doing this.

 

It makes me wonder what other behaviour some find perfectly normal and others consider rude. Anyone have any examples of this? What behaviour have you come across, on a cruise in particular, which seems rude to you but may not to them, otherwise they presumably would not be doing it.

 

I know there are bound to be difference between nationalities and age groups but I think it makes an interesting discussion, if we can keep it friendly:)

 

 

Wearing a cap or hat at the dinner table.

[Folk Singer]

Sat a table once with a woman who insisted on scratching her arm pits and talking with her mouth full. :(:eek::mad:

[doublebzz]

Sat a table once with a woman who insisted on scratching her arm pits and talking with her mouth full. :(:eek::mad:

 

You must have cruised with my mother-in-law.

[I_r_a]

> I find it rude to not remove your hat when sitting down to eat. I would not say it to the person. Can't change what people wear to dine in.<

 

If everyone were to point out to these arrogant twits that they are behaving in an inappropriate manner, it would eventually cause them to stop.

 

Ira

PS: Do not do this in Georgia. We allow everyone to carry a sidearm anywhere AND have a "stand your ground" law.

[I_r_a]

>the lady in the Lido wearing a bathrobe and barefooted during breakfast was disgusting.

 

When I was an undergraduate, the dining hall doors were locked at 09:00.

 

Thus, there were many people who showed up at 08:57 in various stages of dress - usually wearing a raincoat.

 

One morning, a young woman in a raincoat set down her tray opposite me, took off her raincoat and sat down,

 

She then realized that she was wearing a "baby doll" night dress - without the top.

 

I was not disgusted. :)

 

Ira

[I_r_a]

Great thread

[bert425]

I see more than one person commenting about wearing the robe outside of the room.

 

Not that I've ever done so, but I fully admit that it doesn't bother me one bit (unless said robe "falls open" and the person is not wearing undergarments underneath).

 

So I must ask -- what is the issue with wearing the robe outside of the room?

 

The robes are provided for use, and if someone wants to wear it to the pool (over a swimsuit), and then put it on to grab lunch in the Lido, I seriously have no issue with it.

 

Why do some?

[jaguarstyper]

I see more than one person commenting about wearing the robe outside of the room.

 

Not that I've ever done so, but I fully admit that it doesn't bother me one bit (unless said robe "falls open" and the person is not wearing undergarments underneath).

 

So I must ask -- what is the issue with wearing the robe outside of the room?

 

The robes are provided for use, and if someone wants to wear it to the pool (over a swimsuit), and then put it on to grab lunch in the Lido, I seriously have no issue with it.

 

Why do some?

Good question. I never realized robes were so offensive to other people. Personally, I've never even removed my robe from its hanger on a cruise, but I'm certainly not offended by people who choose to utilize them.

[iheartbda]

I see more than one person commenting about wearing the robe outside of the room.

 

Not that I've ever done so, but I fully admit that it doesn't bother me one bit (unless said robe "falls open" and the person is not wearing undergarments underneath).

 

So I must ask -- what is the issue with wearing the robe outside of the room?

 

The robes are provided for use, and if someone wants to wear it to the pool (over a swimsuit), and then put it on to grab lunch in the Lido, I seriously have no issue with it.

 

Why do some?

Because they are BATH robes, not pool robes or grabbing lunch in the Lido robes.:D

[1of4]

I have told this story before, but it still indicates how some people can feel entitled while aboard.

 

On the Golden Princess DH and I had waited for an elevator after returning from a shore excursion. The wait was about 20 minutes but I was over heated and pregnant and just couldn't manage the stairs. We waited our turn. When it came the doors to one of the smaller glass elevators that go through the atrium opened. We got in but nobody else.

 

we went 1 or 2 floors on our way to deck 7 when the elevator stopped and a group of 3 or 4 couples were waiting. Without hesitation one woman said that if we were polite we would get out so their group could all travel together. She may, or may not said that we were obviously younger than they were but none were overweight, using a cane or other mobility assistance.

 

Normally polite, this attitude really rubbed me the wrong way and I asked the group how many of them were pregnant. When they gasped and studded I said that I was and was not moving. The doors closed as if on cue.

 

I don't any culture where demanding others get off an elevator would be considered appropriate except perhaps in a hospital.

[maxie99]

lol! But would'nt that be rude

LOL :eek:- yes, but ive been spending a lot of time in ny city lately, i think that NY vib is rubbing off on me--:cool: