Rudeness and bad manners - in the eye of the beholder?

[take us away]

Met a gentleman (and I use that term loosely) on a long cruise who complained about absolutely everything to everyone and everywhere. All of his original dinner companions had abandoned him in the 1st few days of the cruise and he was moved to a table for 2 where he ate alone - at his request. He would loudly announce that Princess did everything better, cared more about their passengers, had better service, had better port discussions (he was at everyone that I attended and took notes), had crew who understood English better than HAL, etc. etc. Spent 4 floors on an elevator with him after coming back from a port and had to listen to him complain about the port shuttle buses even though the daily program and all announcements mentioned that HAL had nothing to do with the free shuttles including when they ran, where they went and the frequency of the schedule. Mentioned that fact to him and he went off again, more loudly this time. Had finally had enough so I turned to him and said - "sorry you are having such a horrible trip and are so unhappy about the cruise, maybe you should just go home".

 

He did not go home and seemed to be toned down a bit whenever I saw him again.

[iancal]

Yes, there are some people who need to get over themselves, stop sweating the small stuff, and get on with enjoying life and their cruise. We are not here for very long time.....we need to make the best of it while we can.

[sail7seas]

People who sign up for cruise critic shore excursions and then don't show up leaving the rest to wait or having to pony up their share to meet the requirements of the guide

 

Someone cracking their gum in the theater or lectures

 

Bathrobes outside the room

 

Unsupervised children, especially in the dining room, but around the ship as well

 

Removing tips from staff

 

People who don't treat staff as a friend: get to know them, ask about their family or to see a picture of kids or spouse. They love this

 

Not taking time to take care of your dirty pool towels

 

People who get all the way to the gate to get off and don't have their ship card ready.

 

And, for all the airport people: taking more than one chair when the gate area is full and people are having to stand

 

 

 

YES to this whole list.

And I've seen it all as have most of us. :(

 

[sail7seas]

This incident reminds me of the wonderful Mama Lou who lives on various HAL ships for months at a time.. She always has a flower in her hair, & uses a walker with lots of flower decorations & soft cuddly animals which have been given to her.. Mama Lou is quite spirited & very cheerful ..She is obviously loved by the crew...

 

We were in line directly behind her while waiting to meet the Captain on HAL, & were chatting with her.. A man in a motorized wheelchair with his wife/friend got off the elevators close to the theater entrance & came toward us.. Mama Lou greeted him by name & then in a loud voice said "Don't even think about cutting in line! Go to the back of the line!" We & others both behind & in front of us heard her .. Many smiled or laughed out loud.. Some even clapped!

 

I know Mama Lou meant that & the poor man did go to the back of the long line..

 

 

 

That's a great story. Good that guy knew better than to think he was going to take on Mama Lou. :)

 

[SeagoingMom]

I don't think it's been mentioned.

 

 

These idiots that leave their dirty gross dishes outside of their cabin door.

 

Get a clue you imbeciles

 

I wonder about this -- what is the protocol for dirty dishes? It is pretty standard in hotels that offer room service to leave the dishes outside the door to be picked up by staff. Not so on cruise ships?

 

What do you recommend the imbeciles do?

 

This surely must be an example of one of those "some think it's rude and some don't" practices mentioned by the OP, no?

[doublebzz]

I don't have a problem with the dishes. Actually, I was able to collect a complete service for six from the dishes left outside my cabin.

[Alberta Quilter]

I wonder about this -- what is the protocol for dirty dishes? It is pretty standard in hotels that offer room service to leave the dishes outside the door to be picked up by staff. Not so on cruise ships?

 

What do you recommend the imbeciles do?

 

This surely must be an example of one of those "some think it's rude and some don't" practices mentioned by the OP, no?

 

You should leave them in your room and call for the room service trays to be picked up. There is usually a card on the tray with the number to call (and the request not to leave the trays in the hallway). That way they don't clutter up the hallway which impedes those that use mobility devices such as walkers, wheelchairs and scooters.

Edited October 8, 2014 by Alberta Quilter

[SeagoingMom]

I think hats inside are rude. That is just the way I was raised. Cowboy, baseball, fancy. You take them off inside. I have never understood why some people accept cowboy hats as ok to wear but not baseball. There are no cows to herd on a ship. No horses to ride in the sun and heat. Take them off. I'm not sure why hats bother me so. They are just an accessory. I guess because coming from cowboy territory that is how I was raised. Not, saying I am right. Just my opinion.

Another good example for the OP of a "cultural" norm -- not necessarily a universal one. You said it yourself -- "That is just the way I was raised."

 

It used to be considered rude for men to wear hats indoors. It seems no longer to be considered rude by the majority, as everyone does it, and unless one has been instructed by one's parents not to do it, one does not hear much about this any more as a "rule of conduct," at least in America.

 

And ironically, we all know that food service workers generally are required to wear head coverings (nets, hats, caps) while serving food, obviously to keep hair out of the food. Perhaps we should all be grateful for customers, too, who keep their hats on in buffets, restaurants and dining rooms!

[ellieanne]

I wonder about this -- what is the protocol for dirty dishes? It is pretty standard in hotels that offer room service to leave the dishes outside the door to be picked up by staff. Not so on cruise ships?

 

What do you recommend the imbeciles do?

 

This surely must be an example of one of those "some think it's rude and some don't" practices mentioned by the OP, no?

 

On the ship, there has always been a note on my room service trays that asks you not put the trays in the hall, but call the number (I can't remember if the number is housekeeping or dining services) to have the tray removed.

 

I would assume (and yes I know that's my first mistake) the person in question would follow the instructions on the note.

[SeagoingMom]

The rudest thing I have ever seen is people who expect everyone else to conform to their cultural standards. They seem to forget that people on board come from all sorts of cultures and backgrounds and have probably got different standards.

 

I really do wonder who some people think they are that everyone else has to conform to their norm.

It would be interesting if you could share some examples of the standards upheld in certain cultures but not others, that the folks you mention are intolerant of. This was exactly the topic this thread started with!

[steve ch]

Here's one for different cultures - taking photographs on excursions.

 

I believe in waiting for someone to take their picture before walking through their shot. I then like to take a clean photo of the view myself.

 

Generalizing terribly here, I know, but it seems that many Asian cultures believe that a view isn't a view unless they are standing in front of it. They must be in the frame themselves and stand there forever while friends take their pictures.

 

And what about people who are late getting back on the tour bus, meaning that everyone has less time at the next stop?

[Davidson Duo]

Most often I would not even consider saving seats in the Theater for others in our party, but as with a lot of the issues discussed, there are exceptions.

 

We often cruise with my parents who are in their late 80's. My father has a few health issues, and is unable to spend extended periods of time out of the stateroom.

 

On evenings when there is a show that they may be interested in seeing, my husband and I will go to the theater early to ensure seats at the end of a row, and close enough that they can see and hear the performance comfortably.

 

They then can comfortably leave their cabin shortly before the performance, make their way to the theater, and know they will be able to easily be seated quickly, and able to enjoy the performance.

 

We do not save seats for any other family members, and do not do it for loungers, etc. during the day. It is only done for him to be able to attend a performance.

 

I have discussed this issue at various times with other cruisers and found there to be many points of view.

 

Overall, though, the general consensus has agreed with me that it is acceptable under the circumstances. Considering his disabilities, I feel it is a small concession to be able to allow him to enjoy some of the entertainment on board his cruise.

[Lizzie68]

Most often I would not even consider saving seats in the Theater for others in our party, but as with a lot of the issues discussed, there are exceptions.

 

We often cruise with my parents who are in their late 80's. My father has a few health issues, and is unable to spend extended periods of time out of the stateroom.

 

On evenings when there is a show that they may be interested in seeing, my husband and I will go to the theater early to ensure seats at the end of a row, and close enough that they can see and hear the performance comfortably.

 

They then can comfortably leave their cabin shortly before the performance, make their way to the theater, and know they will be able to easily be seated quickly, and able to enjoy the performance.

 

We do not save seats for any other family members, and do not do it for loungers, etc. during the day. It is only done for him to be able to attend a performance.

 

I have discussed this issue at various times with other cruisers and found there to be many points of view.

 

Overall, though, the general consensus has agreed with me that it is acceptable under the circumstances. Considering his disabilities, I feel it is a small concession to be able to allow him to enjoy some of the entertainment on board his cruise.

 

That is completely acceptable. I personally do not have a problem with anyone saving seats in the showroom - we usually do it for our two friends who are at late dining. But we also don't take prime seats, and seldom is the theatre full. I would object however, if seats were saved and stayed empty for the performance. That happens.

 

What I do find rude and inconsiderate is the number of able-bodied people who take the seats in the back row against the wall that are meant for disabled passengers (those with walkers or wheelchairs). Or, because there is a large space in front of these seats, they stand and watch the performance there, blocking the view.

[doublebzz]

 

It used to be considered rude for men to wear hats indoors. It seems no longer to be considered rude by the majority, as everyone does it, and unless one has been instructed by one's parents not to do it, one does not hear much about this any more as a "rule of conduct," at least in America.

 

 

There was a scene in the cable series "Madmen" (circa 1960) where Don Draper enters an elevator already occupied by some men and women. Two of the men are wearing hats, instead of removing them in the presence of women as was the custom of the day, and Draper, in disgust, slaps the hat off one of the men. As you point out, for a variety of reasons, this custom has gone by the wayside long ago. Whether that is a plus or minus, you all can be the judge.

[goleta]

When 2 couples are in a narrow hallway and the 2 couples approach each other, and one couple refuses to slide over to let the other couple pass them....it happens on sidewalks, too...Do they not see the others?

 

I hate this and it happens all the time. When I get fed up with it, I just stop and don't move. They have to go around me! Some get the big hint while others don't!

[nana51]

You should leave them in your room and call for the room service trays to be picked up. There is usually a card on the tray with the number to call (and the request not to leave the trays in the hallway). That way they don't clutter up the hallway which impedes those that use mobility devices such as walkers, wheelchairs and scooters.

 

Well, I did that twice, and the dishes weren't removed until after dinner. These were BREAKFAST orders. So next time they went out in the hall. The rooms are too small to have dishes and huge trays blocking up the whole room for hours on end.

[Cruising-along]

I hate this and it happens all the time. When I get fed up with it, I just stop and don't move. They have to go around me! Some get the big hint while others don't!

 

I do the same thing. I don't think they "get it" though.

[julie3fan]

OK, not cruise related, but I think it's rude when people don't bring their shopping carts to the cart corrals in parking lots. (I realize there are exceptions, disabled shoppers, icy parking lots, etc.) And I always wonder about the carts that get pushed TO the corral but left alongside rather than all the way in. Could they not go 10 feet further? I had someone's abandoned shopping cart careen into the side of my car, creating a big dent and damaging the paint. Cost me over $1,000!

[Lizzie68]

OK, not cruise related, but I think it's rude when people don't bring their shopping carts to the cart corrals in parking lots. (I realize there are exceptions, disabled shoppers, icy parking lots, etc.) And I always wonder about the carts that get pushed TO the corral but left alongside rather than all the way in. Could they not go 10 feet further? I had someone's abandoned shopping cart careen into the side of my car, creating a big dent and damaging the paint. Cost me over $1,000!

 

We don't have those problems since we had to put a coin in to get a cart - either a quarter or a dollar.;) You get it back only when you return the cart or buggie to the the storage area.

[Lizzie68]

Well, I did that twice, and the dishes weren't removed until after dinner. These were BREAKFAST orders. So next time they went out in the hall. The rooms are too small to have dishes and huge trays blocking up the whole room for hours on end.

 

I hope you haven't done that again since. It's really dangerous to put trays and dishes out in the hallway on a moving ship. And hallways are certainly too small for them, as well. In my experience, if room service does not pick them up, our room steward has removed them.

[Cruising-along]

We don't have those problems since we had to put a coin in to get a cart - either a quarter or a dollar.;) You get it back only when you return the cart or buggie to the the storage area.

 

That is a great idea, wish we had that.

What is really strange are the ones who go to the trouble of putting the front wheels up on a curb to stop it from rolling, but are too lazy to push it to the corral. :confused:

[ellieanne]

We don't have those problems since we had to put a coin in to get a cart - either a quarter or a dollar.;) You get it back only when you return the cart or buggie to the the storage area.

 

We have to pay rental as well, and people do return the carts to the corrals, but they all use the closest corral and eventually the line of carts is actually blocking the driving lanes of the parking lot. I see it EVERY DAY.

 

That is a great idea, wish we had that.

What is really strange are the ones who go to the trouble of putting the front wheels up on a curb to stop it from rolling, but are too lazy to push it to the corral. :confused:

 

I've done this, but mainly at Wal-Mart that has huge parking lots and corrals only in the first 20 spaces of any aisle of the parking lot. I'm not going to walk the full length of the parking lot in 100+ degree/>100% humidity weather because Wal-Mart is too stupid/lazy to put corrals further out in the parking lot.

[cruz chic]

I hope you haven't done that again since. It's really dangerous to put trays and dishes out in the hallway on a moving ship. And hallways are certainly too small for them, as well. In my experience, if room service does not pick them up, our room steward has removed them.

 

I have had the same experience. Putting them in the hallway is just a bad idea.

[Alberta Quilter]

Well, I did that twice, and the dishes weren't removed until after dinner. These were BREAKFAST orders. So next time they went out in the hall. The rooms are too small to have dishes and huge trays blocking up the whole room for hours on end.

 

I'm sorry but I don't think that one cabin being inconvenienced excuses potential harm or inconvenience to several other people, whether they be able bodied or not. Those hallways are far more narrow than a cabin.

 

As others have stated, my experience has been that the cabin stewards have removed the trays.

[RuthC]

The rooms are too small to have dishes and huge trays blocking up the whole room for hours on end.

The passageways are too small for scooters and wheelchairs to get by when there is a tray blocking the way.

In addition, in rolling seas it is dangerous to have breakable dishes go traveling in the passageway.

 

Keep the tray in your room, and call again. You can always get it out of your way inside, but others can't get it out of the way outside.