Rudeness and bad manners - in the eye of the beholder?

[Lizzie68]

This brings up a question that I, myself, have not yet settled on an answer to -- we have been disarmed by other cruisers we've met who seemed to us to be "bragging" about their cruise and travel experiences -- but we, unlike you, felt intimidated because our cruise and travel resume's didn't "hold a candle" to the other person's, and we really couldn't contribute much to the conversation. Indeed, our lives don't compare to the lives of some we meet on board -- we are simple, old-fashioned folk who have worked (husband) and stayed home to raise the children (me) and cruise and travel infrequently because we must carefully save the money to do so, usually as an anniversary celebration. But on the other hand, what is there that we have in common with folks on a cruise ship other than our cruising history? Haven't others on this board found consistently that this is one of the first things that one asks (right after "where are you from") when one meets someone for the first time on board?

 

There are so many "unacceptable" topics -- ones we are all told to avoid bringing up with fellow pax, because these topics are rude or controversial, even including such simple questions as "what line of work are you in?" that if we don't talk about our cruise histories, what do we have to talk about?

 

Now that over the years my husband and I have managed to take four cruises, I fear becoming that person who might intimidate someone else who has cruised even less than we have!

 

 

We are pretty much like you. At our last roll call, when introducing ourselves, people immediately began saying how many cruises they had done. I simply said I don't count my cruises and that was that. Yes it happens too often and is so boring, which is why we prefer to dine at a 2-top.

[Vict0riann]

We have travelled a fair amount - at least DH has, I stayed home to raise children, too. But we do enjoy hearing about other peoples' cruises, not having done many ourselves. I like to know which they enjoyed the most, and then I can add to my wish list! :) What upsets me is the people who complain about how things have gone downhill from when they started cruising, etc. We had one couple join us in the MDR one evening - I think they were travelling together, but they spent the whole meal moaning, we just sat there with our mouths open!:eek: They left early, fortunately, to go to something, and the waiters came over and apologized! It really left a bad taste in our mouths - except for those exceptional waiters.:)

[Cruising-along]

We have travelled a fair amount - at least DH has, I stayed home to raise children, too. But we do enjoy hearing about other peoples' cruises, not having done many ourselves. I like to know which they enjoyed the most, and then I can add to my wish list! :) What upsets me is the people who complain about how things have gone downhill from when they started cruising, etc. We had one couple join us in the MDR one evening - I think they were travelling together, but they spent the whole meal moaning, we just sat there with our mouths open!:eek: They left early, fortunately, to go to something, and the waiters came over and apologized! It really left a bad taste in our mouths - except for those exceptional waiters.:)

 

I feel like you do, I do enjoy hearing about other peoples' cruises, and don't find it boring at all. As long as they don't come across as a know-it-all or complainer, I love hearing about others' experiences.

[Mary Ellen]

This couple was different than any other we've encountered. Yes, talking about cruising is a common denominator and topic. This couple wasn't interested in having a conversation. They were simply trying to impress. I doubt that even 5 minutes after leaving us, either of them could have cited a single thing we said.

[Cruising-along]

This couple was different than any other we've encountered. Yes, talking about cruising is a common denominator and topic. This couple wasn't interested in having a conversation. They were simply trying to impress. I doubt that even 5 minutes after leaving us, either of them could have cited a single thing we said.

 

Understood. They would come under my description of "know-it-alls". I avoid them. They are only interested in themselves. ;)

[Lizzie68]

I feel like you do, I do enjoy hearing about other peoples' cruises, and don't find it boring at all. As long as they don't come across as a know-it-all or complainer, I love hearing about others' experiences.

 

 

Don't misunderstand me - I love to hear about other people's cruises. It's just the counting of them that gets to me. It seems to be important to have had the most cruises at a table.:( They seldom - after bragging about how many - go on to describe any of them, apart from complaints.:rolleyes:

[Boatdrill]

Folks who remove their shoes and prop up their feet on an adjacent chair. I'm not aware of any country where this would be a cultural norm.

 

Which reminds me of passengers who put their bare feet up on the bulkhead on an airplane !! :mad:

[Lis2065]

Which reminds me of passengers who put their bare feet up on the bulkhead on an airplane !! :mad:

 

Or in between the seats so their feet are on your armrest - yes it has happened to me! Disgusting!

[treasure4two]

Or in between the seats so their feet are on your armrest - yes it has happened to me! Disgusting!

 

Happened to me and told them to remove their feet. I told them in what my husband calls 'my mean voice'-no curse words, just said it so they knew there was not another opinion. As a former lead flight attendant, unless someone sitting next to them complained, really not much I could do. Also, if I noticed I could smell their feet when I was walking by, I would tell them to put their feet down.

[GmaPajama]

I have two things that just drive me over the wall. 1) People wearing their bathrooms into the Neptune Lounge to get something, for Pete's sake people put something on. The Neptune Lounge is not your private area, ...

On the Noordam once, there was the sweetest elderly gentleman who showed up in the Neptune, in his pj's and bathrobe, every single morning. He seemed so kind, and so innocent, I'm sure he had no idea he might be dressed inappropriately. Everyone called him "Mr. Pajama Man" and it tickled him every time. My point is ... not everyone who leaves their stateroom in a bathrobe is repulsive.

[sammee]

The elevator comment about 1 floor is just as wrong as viewing walking people leaving their car with handicapped plates. I'm just learning about this through experience -- Invisible Disabilities! Arthritus, COPD, asthma, heart conditions, and the list goes on. My husband now has a handicapped plated because of severe arthritis. We only use it when necessary. I have a lung problem. Some days I can do stairs, some days not. We all know of these diseases and disabilities, but I guess it just doesn't occur to us until we are faced with it. I'm a bit guilty of that attitude too, I think we all are at one time or another.

[serendipity1499]

The elevator comment about 1 floor is just as wrong as viewing walking people leaving their car with handicapped plates. I'm just learning about this through experience -- Invisible Disabilities! Arthritus, COPD, asthma, heart conditions, and the list goes on. My husband now has a handicapped plated because of severe arthritis. We only use it when necessary. I have a lung problem. Some days I can do stairs, some days not. We all know of these diseases and disabilities, but I guess it just doesn't occur to us until we are faced with it. I'm a bit guilty of that attitude too, I think we all are at one time or another.

 

You are actually describing me...

 

After my Hip operation I asked the Dr. "Would you consider giving me a temporary handicapped permit, while I'm still on the cane?" His answer to me was "you have scoliosis (sp?) of the spine & I want you to have a permanent handicapped permit" I have a Friend who can vouch for that as she heard the Dr. & sometimes yells at me if I'm not using the cane which I keep in the car.. When I'm overly tired, I continue to limp & use it when I have to walk long distances.. When I have to park or food shop, will try to get a nearby space which is non-handicapped first.. Only if I have to walk a long distance alone, will I use the handicapped space... If DH is with me I can hold his arm & when food shopping I can use the grocery basket as a crutch..

Edited October 19, 2014 by serendipity1499

[cruz chic]

On the Noordam once, there was the sweetest elderly gentleman who showed up in the Neptune, in his pj's and bathrobe, every single morning. He seemed so kind, and so innocent, I'm sure he had no idea he might be dressed inappropriately. Everyone called him "Mr. Pajama Man" and it tickled him every time. My point is ... not everyone who leaves their stateroom in a bathrobe is repulsive.

 

True, but people should understand that wearing pajamas in public shouldn't be done. I wonder why he thought that was a nice compliment.

Edited October 19, 2014 by cruz chic

[BeagleOne]

This couple was different than any other we've encountered. Yes, talking about cruising is a common denominator and topic. This couple wasn't interested in having a conversation. They were simply trying to impress. I doubt that even 5 minutes after leaving us, either of them could have cited a single thing we said.

 

My theory is that people who are trying to impress are often making up a lot of stuff. To be blunt, they're lying. And if they won't let other people get a word in edgewise, they're just plain rude, and even if all of the stories are true, that still makes them rude people.

 

I find it really sad that so many people will start bragging, just to try to impress people they've never met before, and likely will never see again. It's even worse online, and what I really DON'T get is the pseudonymous online braggarts. Why do they care so much about what strangers on the internet think, especially when the strangers have no way of knowing who the braggart really is? Just bizarre.

 

(Not saying anyone on this thread is bragging, but boy is it common online!)

[chrispb]

My theory is that people who are trying to impress are often making up a lot of stuff. To be blunt, they're lying. And if they won't let other people get a word in edgewise, they're just plain rude, and even if all of the stories are true, that still makes them rude people.

 

I find it really sad that so many people will start bragging, just to try to impress people they've never met before, and likely will never see again. It's even worse online, and what I really DON'T get is the pseudonymous online braggarts. Why do they care so much about what strangers on the internet think, especially when the strangers have no way of knowing who the braggart really is? Just bizarre.

 

(Not saying anyone on this thread is bragging, but boy is it common online!)

 

Yes, agree. Generally they are sad people with little or no self esteem who only feel safe to brag and boast online.

[pkay414]

• People who refuse to use the hand sanitizer before going into the buffet lines
  

 

I will say I'm one who refuses to use the hand sanitizer -- I go to the restroom right near the MDR (or whatever buffet) and I wash my hands thoroughly before going to eat. I've tried to use the sanitizer; however, the alcohol in it tears my hands up miserably -- like cracked and bleeding tear up. Gold Bond used to make a hand sanitizer that did not contain alcohol and I used the mess out of that, but it's very hard to find now.

[DesertPesce7751]

True, but people should understand that wearing pajamas in public shouldn't be done. I wonder why he thought that was a nice compliment.

 

Maybe I'm the odd one out here, but one of the things I like about the mass-market lines is the fact that we can step out of the room for a cup of tea before going to bed in our comfortable flannels. Not to the shows or shopping or casino or a meal, but simply to the coffee bar, either in the neptune or the lido deck. I've done both and I don't regret it. I certainly wasn't imposing on anyone and didn't have any lewd body parts exposed.

[cruz chic]

Maybe I'm the odd one out here, but one of the things I like about the mass-market lines is the fact that we can step out of the room for a cup of tea before going to bed in our comfortable flannels. Not to the shows or shopping or casino or a meal, but simply to the coffee bar, either in the neptune or the lido deck. I've done both and I don't regret it. I certainly wasn't imposing on anyone and didn't have any lewd body parts exposed.

 

I'm not talking about body parts hanging out. You are in public and I don't think pyjamas and robes are walking around clothing. Clearly you think it is, so we will have to agree to disagree.

[taxmantoo]

Maybe I'm the odd one out here, but one of the things I like about the mass-market lines is the fact that we can step out of the room for a cup of tea before going to bed in our comfortable flannels. Not to the shows or shopping or casino or a meal, but simply to the coffee bar, either in the neptune or the lido deck. I've done both and I don't regret it. I certainly wasn't imposing on anyone and didn't have any lewd body parts exposed.

 

My parents taught me that if I have nothing good to say to say nothing ...

[DesertPesce7751]

I'm not talking about body parts hanging out. You are in public and I don't think pyjamas and robes are walking around clothing. Clearly you think it is, so we will have to agree to disagree.

 

Interesting. I wasn't talking about a robe, but since you brought up "robes," are you in the camp that prefers people arrive at the pool or to their spa appointments fully dressed in their day clothes, only to change once they arrive and to put on their dry day clothes over wet swimsuits upon leaving the pool/spa area? I imagine that that would be quite uncomfortable.

 

About the soft flannels, until someone from a cruise line instructs me otherwise, I don't think I'll be donning slacks, a blouse, and a blazer to go down to the lounge for a cup of herbal tea at bedtime. That just seems a little too contrived for a vacation. I won't judge you if you chose to dress differently, though. ;)

[Folk Singer]

I feel like you do, I do enjoy hearing about other peoples' cruises, and don't find it boring at all. As long as they don't come across as a know-it-all or complainer, I love hearing about others' experiences.

 

 

Same here. :):)

[Lizzie68]

I'm sorry, but it just not appropriate to wear pyjamas out in public. Would you wear them in the street or to go to your local coffee bar? Is it too much to ask that people dress with a little decorum?

[RuthC]

Is it too much to ask that people dress with a little decorum?

Seems to be getting that way. :rolleyes:

[durangoscots]

At one point PJ bottoms in public were all the rage with the college crowd. I had to actually forbid them to be worn to early morning classes and got quite a bit of static from both students and some of my fellow faculty members who said the students were covered. I stuck to my guns. And as to robes on ships.... if I go the pool I have a wrap around skirt and T shirt I wear coming and going. Just call me old fashioned.

 

Susan

[kazu]

Which reminds me of passengers who put their bare feet up on the bulkhead on an airplane !! :mad:

 

Or in between the seats so their feet are on your armrest - yes it has happened to me! Disgusting!

 

Well, believe it or not, there was a lady with her feet up on the spot where you put your drinks in the casino. (Between the slot machines).

 

She removed her foot for one second when I sat down and then put it right back. Needless to say, I didn't stay at that machine:mad: