Rudeness and bad manners - in the eye of the beholder?

[cruising cockroach]

if cruise lines lower the prices and lower them even more, they ( and we) should not expect that ALL people who can NOW afford a cruises are brought up with- MANNERS!

 

The effect is called "WalMart-ization"

[babyher]

Most of all that we've seen, that is very disturbing, is the berating of staff. It's demeaning and just terrible. I've left the MDR during dinner because of this behavior. No, seriously, you don't have to yell at the waiter since you think he doesn't understand you. Really?

 

I feel the same way

 

 

People like that are bullies. They pick on people who cannot talk back or strike back. They need their job , so they just suck it up and let them rant. Even if they do speak up a little . These creeps would just love to march right over to a supervisor and report them and get them fired or written up or suspended.

[ellieanne]

• Able bodied folks using an elevator for one floor
   
  
• People who refuse to use the hand sanitizer before going into the buffet lines
  

 

Sometimes you don't know what's going on with the person using the elevator for one floor. I know on my last cruise I was suffering some really vicious migraines, but to look at me you'd think I was able-bodied. There was no way I was going to be able to tackle going downstairs with my headache. So you would have thought I had no reason to take the elevator just one floor, but I knew I did.

 

Also, I avoid the hand sanitizer because I have very sensitive skin and the alcohol and other ingredients in the sanitizer bother me. I am not going to subject myself to a cruise of itching skin because someone else thinks I need to use hand sanitizer. I wash my hands well and often, and especially immediately before I get in line in the buffet, but I am not going to make myself miserable for the duration of the cruise by using the sanitizer as often as other passengers think I should.

 

Just because you think I'm being rude doesn't mean I do not have valid reasons for doing things. I'm sure there are things that I consider rude that you would have equally valid reasons for doing. You never really know what's going on with other people.

Edited October 4, 2014 by ellieanne

[erewhon]

I also agree with other posters who said that they disliked folks being rude to crew members. I have witnessed this more than once and I find it very unnecessary. There is no reason I can think of to treat crew members rudely, or order them around and treat them like dirt. I would never treat anyone this way, whether they were crew or not. It is nice to be polite, and a smile and a kind word gets you far when dealing with the crew.

 

I too have witnessed passengers treating the crew rudely and yelling at them.

One day in the Lido, was waiting to have a sandwich made, the man ahead of me was so rude and yelled at the staff member. When my sandwich was being made I told the staff member that I was sorry that he had to tolerate such behaviour, he replied "it happens". I felt sad for him.

[serendipity1499]

• 
   
  SNIP
   
   
  
• Able bodied folks using an elevator for one floor
   
  

 

I'm one of those people. If you see me walking around most days you'd say there's nothing wrong with me (my wife would be quick to set you straight that I've never been quite right :D). I have a knee that can go out at any time and it is far less painful to fall on a flat floor than on a staircase. Therefore I use the elevators and if I did use the stairs an able bodied person could go up three decks before I got up one. No I don't use a cane which I should because in my warped mind I would be giving in to it.

 

I'm also one of those who uses the elevator to go up or down one floor.. My Hip almost collapsed three years ago & I was operated on..However I can't walk up & down stairs using both feet..I have to take the stairs one at a time using only one leg & pull myself up or down..

 

I still use the formula my Physical Therapist taught me: "Up with the good leg & down with the bad leg"

 

I have several canes to use when walking long distances, including one in the car, but my mind must also be warped, as I too feel that I'm giving in to it..:o:D Just yesterday, at school with my Pup, a Friend saw me limping & scolded me for not using my cane..

 

So its much easier if I use the elevator, & don't hold up others using the stairs

Edited October 4, 2014 by serendipity1499

[bahrain_not_dubai!]

People getting on to the lift before everyone else is out drives me nuts, as does rudeness to the staff and people not adhering to the dress code in areas where it is supposedly imposed.

 

Another thing that drives me insane are passengers who have no respect for the cultures and the countries they are visiting which drives me to question why they even took the cruise in the first place.

 

Lastly, I do not mind passengers complaining if there is something they are genuinely unhappy with, but I have had at times in the past when I was onboard mass market ships, where people would whine to me with complaints that I felt would be hard pressed on ultra-luxury ships, nevermind the line on which we were sailing. Adjusting expectations is key.

Edited October 4, 2014 by bahrain_not_dubai!

[ellieanne]

I find it rude when passengers on shore excursions meant to be nature watching complain that they did not see any wildlife. I actually overheard a woman complaining to the Shore Excursions staff that her whale-watching adventure was not as advertised because they didn't see one whale. (Every excursion I have ever been on like that does indicate the wildlife sightings are not guaranteed.)

 

I find it rude when people post reviews complaining about the weather, and give a bad review because it was storming one day in port. (As though the cruise line has any control over that!)

 

I especially find it rude when people in the Lido take all the "good stuff" from the mixed fruit bowls or cheese trays. I have been behind someone in line who carefully picked out every strawberry in the fruit bowl, taking nothing but strawberries. (I made a comment that other people like strawberries too and they put ONE tiny berry back.)

 

I find it rude when people rush off the ship at disembarkation and then throw the luggage that is not theirs out of the way to get to theirs. (I have been hit by some throne luggage and witnessed someone literally standing on soft-sided duffle bags to get to a bag in the middle of the pile.)

 

I find it rude when people don't follow instructions and then expect everyone else to get out of their way because they are late. (On my last cruise, I was run over, cut in front and shoved aside by someone who was disembarking early and despite instructions and pages did not get to the gangway before the shore excursions started. That's not my fault and why should I suffer because someone else can't follow clear instructions?)

[cruising cockroach]

As for elevators, my wife (young) uses it because she has bad osteoarthritis in both knees.

 

As for others crowding in before others can get off, I will be a bit more generous and say that these pax use elevators so infrequently that they think 1) everyone is going where they're going, and/or 2) not expecting anyone else to be in the elevator.

[NoobCruise]

• People filling their own water bottles directly in the lido despite the signs saying not to.
   
  
• People barking orders at wait and bar staff without so much as a please or thank you.
   
  
• People pushing in front of our kids in the tender lines on the stair cases cutting us off from our children
   
  
• People removing the hotel service charge and justifying it
   
  
• Able bodied folks using an elevator for one floor
   
  
• People who refuse to use the hand sanitizer before going into the buffet lines
  

 

I have to disagree with the "able-bodied folks using an elevator for one floor".

 

I'm 44 and look perfectly healthy. You would look at me and consider me one of those able bodied folks. However, I've had 2 spinal fusion surgeries for a vertebra that slid forward 50%, a reconstructed knee, and surgical pins in both feet. Some days I'm fine and can hike for several miles or climb several flights of stairs with no problem (usually with pain meds and muscle relaxers). Then some days the pain is incredibly disabling and I can barely get around the grocery store. You can't judge a book by its cover and you shouldn't make assumptions about an individuals abilities.

[jenp123]

I may get slapped for that comment- but IMO ,if cruise lines lower the prices and lower them even more, they ( and we) should not expect that ALL people who can NOW afford a cruises are brought up with- MANNERS!

I witnessed over and over again, on debarkation day- people sitting on the floor in the landings, stairways and so on. They avoid the lounges because they can´t wait to debark! That sitting on floors on landings, etc. may be suitable for a picnic or a camp ground holiday! ( nothing to say against that kind of vacation- we did that for years and years when were children)

 

Wow....I completely disagree.... money does not buy manners....

[hrhdhd]

I have to disagree with the "able-bodied folks using an elevator for one floor".

 

I'm 44 and look perfectly healthy. You would look at me and consider me one of those able bodied folks. However, I've had 2 spinal fusion surgeries for a vertebra that slid forward 50%, a reconstructed knee, and surgical pins in both feet. Some days I'm fine and can hike for several miles or climb several flights of stairs with no problem (usually with pain meds and muscle relaxers). Then some days the pain is incredibly disabling and I can barely get around the grocery store. You can't judge a book by its cover and you shouldn't make assumptions about an individuals abilities.

 

The statement you quoted does not deserve your reply, or the ones from others listing their ailments. The statement didn't say, "People who look able-bodied, but aren't, using an elevator one floor." Relax. :rolleyes:

 

We can all agree (or maybe not) that people who ARE able-bodied should use the stairs and leave the elevators to those who need them.

[jaguarstyper]

People who use an elevator on a cruise ship to go one level isn't even on my top 100 list of things that bother me. I mean you are on vacation, what's the hurry? I can't be bothered by the 15 or so seconds of time lost in my day for someone to get on and get off an elevator. It doesn't matter if they are immobile or an Olympic athlete. They are on vacation too and maybe they just don't want to use the stairs.

 

Not allowing people to get off before getting on is a little rude but its an all too common breach of etiquette. I work on the 30th floor of an office building and I see it happen daily. I also try to just let that one go too, but I do find it rude.

 

Being rude to crew and others on the ship is just, well, being rude. I don't care what culture you are from or what your what social or economic strata you reside in, its just not acceptable behavior on a cruise ship, or anywhere else.

[TiogaCruiser]

You think able bodied folks using elevators for 1 floor is rude??? :mad:

 

The elevators are in the ships to be used by anyone and everyone who wants to use them.:D

 

The elevators are there for ALL to use. One deck or ten, some need to use them, some prefer to.

(Having said that, I'm a stair climber and only use the elevator for embarkation and disembarkation.)

[doublebzz]

If you are inside the elevator cab and see someone approaching and hold the elevator door open for them, that's being courteous; If you see someone coming and press the close door button, that's being rude. All behavior in between is O.K. in my book.

[Cruising-along]

#1 rudeness to the crew

#2 pushing in front of an obvious line whether it's for coffee, elevator, whatever. Some people think lines aren't for them and it drives me crazy!

 

 

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[DaveOKC]

You think able bodied folks using elevators for 1 floor is rude??? :mad:

 

You can't tell if someone is "able bodied" or not just by looking. A heart condition, a lung condition, blisters on the feet, a sore ankle or knee and any number of other things would take a person out of the "able bodied" category and you would never know it if they didn't tell you.

 

The elevators are in the ships to be used by anyone and everyone who wants to use them.:D

 

Agree - I had foot surgery and look fine, but there is no way I can do steps.

 

DaveOKC

[doublebzz]

It's very rude. We book cabins and the seats that are in the cabins only. We do not book seats in any of the public areas of the ship.

 

I also find it very rude asking people to move seats in the theatre. We always make it a point to get to the theatre early to get the seats that we want. Most people seem to be able to do that as the theatre fills up quickly. But, sometimes of course, there will be the odd empty seat here and there. Invariably, a couple will show up late and ask everyone else to move so that they can sit together. I find it so rude that I no longer move. You should see their faces when I say no, I will not shift over one seat.

 

As long as they arrive before the show starts, I don't see the big deal. Many people would find not agreeing to shift seats rude behavior.

 

#1 rudeness to the crew

#2 pushing in front of an obvious line whether it's for coffee, elevator, whatever. Some people think lines aren't for them and it drives me crazy!

 

 

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Agree. The other side of the coin is some folks spending more time deciding whether to take jello or the custard on the buffet line than I spent deciding on my last new car.

[Cruising-along]

As long as they arrive before the show starts, I don't see the big deal. Many people would find not agreeing to shift seats rude behavior.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Agree. The other side of the coin is some folks spending more time deciding whether to take jello or the custard on the buffet line than I spent deciding on my last new car.

 

 

Oh yes! I should have said I don't include those times at the buffet. But coffee and elevator lines -- when the rest of us have been waiting patiently and people just waltz up in front of everyone, grrr.

 

 

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[BadBoysDriveAudi]

My favorite is people from countries that do not respect a line jumping in front of you and then ignoring you when you ask them to move to the back. They realize what they are doing - they just don't care. It adds gasoline to the flames when the person everyone is waiting to see ignores the cutting and serves them anyway. Keel hauling is too good IMHO.

 

 

Which is why I return the favor, move myself up and cut them off back. Then look at them...not with an icy glare (which would be expected) but with a smile. They are completely dumbfounded but they don't try to push ahead of me again.

[Rotherham_Cruiser]

We once had someone in the balcony above who insisted on passing wind on their balcony last thing at night.

 

Loud? The sliding doors rattled.

 

Oh and im sure he played a tune on at least one occasion

[BadBoysDriveAudi]

My pet peeve is saving seats (or poolside lounges) for HOURS with no one there.

 

 

 

On a recent Antarctica cruise, the Crows Nest was packed. We sat at the bar for 45 minutes, then finally wandered up front to a couple chairs with coats over them. (They had been like that since we arrived) The people nearby told us we could not have them as they were being "saved". Nope. it was another half HOUR until the couple showed up, and they were livid we moved their jackets. (We JUST were having lunch, those are OUR seats!)

 

 

 

I know that this is acceptable behavior to many (gotta be, as so many people do it) but I see it as REALLY rude!

 

 

 

(And now time to climb off my soapbox) :D

 

 

Bravo! There should be more like us. Perhaps the savers would start getting the message.

[waASPCrusier]

Wow....I completely disagree.... money does not buy manners....

 

No kidding...worse is that you are the only person to call them on it. Fits right in with the riff raff in the suites comments/thread.

[sweetdarlin26]

• People filling their own water bottles directly in the lido despite the signs saying not to.
   
  
• People barking orders at wait and bar staff without so much as a please or thank you.
   
  
• People pushing in front of our kids in the tender lines on the stair cases cutting us off from our children
   
  
• People removing the hotel service charge and justifying it
   
  
• Able bodied folks using an elevator for one floor
   
  
• People who refuse to use the hand sanitizer before going into the buffet lines
  

You have good points. However, I would like to clarify the stair issue. I personally look able body to use stairs. Yet, when I use them they cause me great pain so whenever possible I do not use them. So. That able body you think can do stairs may not due to bad knees and would be in pain the remainder of there cruise.

[gjt3rd]

I don't know what's rude on ships. I know my pet peeve - letting kids play on the stairs into the late night... letting little kids onto the dance floor in the casino or any other adult area ... letting little kids scream with a temper tantrum as if at home. Why? I worry for the unsupervised kids... at night is adult time as the kids control the pools and every other daytime event ... and when i hear a kid screaming i worry about abuse, kidnapping, pain or injury. The rest about eating directly from the buffet? In some cultures this is appropriate but please keep your germs to yourself and your family. Yes I am very concerned about health, and yes I adore our next generation. Yea the kids are cute. Yes they are adorable. I am glad you brought them with you to teach them beyond their school education. Please keep them safe and point out bad manners so they don't duplicate what they see. Last pet peeve, not responding to a greeting. I said "hi" when i entered the elevator and not "give me your wallet." About taking the elevator. I like taking the stairs but sometimes iI just don't feel like it. ;-)

[ANSalberg]

I also agree with other posters who said that they disliked folks being rude to crew members. I have witnessed this more than once and I find it very unnecessary. There is no reason I can think of to treat crew members rudely, or order them around and treat them like dirt. I would never treat anyone this way, whether they were crew or not. It is nice to be polite, and a smile and a kind word gets you far when dealing with the crew.

 

YES!!!!!!!!And to an extreme! We were on a cruise at a large dinner table because we travel by ourselves on longer cruises. On this particular cruise there were 2 couples/friends -who were chronically late for dinner BUT demanded IMMEDIATE attention so that they could leave/play "Trivia" after dinner. Our table crew was marvelous but as this treatment accellerated they became more fearful; the over 6 foot husband would rock his chair back & forth and growl "I"M GETTING PISSED!!!!!" Finally my husband in anger told the man to "can it" because this had gone on for MORE than a week! And the two guys were very frightened of him. The 2 couples decided to move to another table but soon WANTED to come back. In the meantime 4 more people had settled in to our table that we totally enjoyed [ one was one of the entertainers] and they didn't WANT to move on. \

The whole thing was totally unkind AND unnecessary [ Our crew was exceptionally GOOD to us!] It was humiliating because people around us could HEAR him growl unnecessarily. The Dining room officials had given them several MILD warnings they refused to heed. This was BY FAR the worst behavior by grown ADULTS I've EVER seen!!!!!

Later a third couple that had moved with them [they had had a table for 2 a few tables away] decided they had "had" it too and wanted to come back but there wasn't room. The entertainers were OUR life-savers, we felt. because they did NOT "blame" us as the original couple did [ This original couple was just AWFUL] I REALLY appreciated the dining room officers attempting to fix it and stand BEHIND their employees; this was a first time we'd ever seen that kind of behavior be so incredibly awful.

THAT cemented our loyalty to Holland America; That THEY stood behind these gentle people from Indonesia. The perpetrators I HOPE I NEVER ever see again! ;)