Rudeness and bad manners - in the eye of the beholder?

[GUT2407]

Gut2407...... You are spot on with this comment. Not just on cruise ships either.

 

We sometimes look at each other in disbelief at some of the comments that we hear from other travellers. Some just don't get it that not everyone has the same ways, nor do they want the same ways. We are never quite certain if this is attributable to intolerance, arrogance, or just plain ignorance. Perhaps a combination of all three.

 

 

I think it's a little from column a a little from column c and a little from column b.

 

In my experience people from some cultures are worse than others, but it appears that every nation have their fair share of those who think it's their way or the highway.

 

I always try [and I repeat try] to take the view live and let live and when in Rome.

 

Though I will add, and this really puzzles me, that sometimes people from the same cultural/socioeconomic group will rip and tear over people from their own group who do things differently.

[sapper1]

Was it busy? We often play dominoes in the lido during off hours as there are 7 - 8 of us and the game room doesn't have big enough tables. The corner table on the Oosterdam is great. We would never play in there during mealtime and often we are almost the only ones in there. Is that rude? I'm asking honestly because I didn't think it was.

 

It's not rude at all. We sometimes sit in the Lido and read but when it starts to get crowded we move on so people who need a table to eat can have it.

 

On another note:

My husband and I sit across from each other in the Lido when we eat because he is hard of hearing and it helps if he can face me while talking. We don't mind sharing a table but I find it annoying when people ask us to move so we are sitting next to each other so they can sit next to their spouse/companion. I don't feel we should have to move and we don't move.

[HokiePoq]

Kids taking over the pools and jumping in with complete disregard for others in the pool and parents close by.

Kids using their hands in the buffet foods. Adults doing the same thing, but I

have mostly observed kids doing it.

People rushing into elevators before those inside can exit.

Kids rushing in front of us to be first in line for anything.

Passengers being rude to cruise ship crew members.

Unruly young children up and about after midnight being sassy and swearing at adults - this is probably more of a Carnival irritation than HAL, especially junior high kids. Do their parents not really care or know where they are?

Obnoxious tablemates - that's why we only do 2-person tables now. Couples making out at the dinner table is so inappropriate. Again, probably more of a Carnival thing than HAL.

 

I can say those things about Carnival because look below my message and see how many Carnival cruises we have been on. So many because they are so convenient to where we live and they have lots of 4-5 days cruises, where HAL doesn't.

 

Interesting observations. I've never been on Carnival or any 4-5 day cruises and don't think I'll be trying any after reading this. Goes along with a horrible group of people who were at our precruise hotel in Miami getting ready to go on one....made me very glad I wasn't cruising with them. Never had a problem with kids on HAL....or most any cruise ship except a Baltic cruise where I got hit in the head by a soccer ball when kids were playing in the halls. Never have seen anyone making out at the dinner table. It's mostly adult men I see putting their hands in the buffet food!

[HokiePoq]

I don't think it's been mentioned.

 

 

These idiots that leave their dirty gross dishes outside of their cabin door.

 

Get a clue you imbeciles

 

 

Agree. What is it with that? Is there some norm I don't know about that says to do this? It makes walking down the hall an obstacle course, especially for people with mobility issues. I think I've seen this on every ship we've ever been on. Our steward always removes any excess dishes or coffee cups we might have. Most of the time we take dishes back to the buffet if we've brought them out of there...usually just coffee cups.

Edited October 7, 2014 by HokiePoq

[Folk Singer]

I believe many respondent's anecdotes go far beyond the definition of "rude." I am more inclined to label this behavior, as in the above incident, "moronic."

 

 

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes:;)

[babyher]

I'm not sure whether this has been mentioned . . . a person sitting alone, and reading a paperback novel, at a table that would accommodate four people, during the lunch hour at the buffet!

 

When asked politely whether she would mind sharing her table with the two of us since there was no where else for us to sit, she refused!

 

Not only was she rude, she was also inconsiderate. Just my opinion.

 

 

 

 

Probably why she was alone :)

[Folk Singer]

Agree. What is it with that? Is there some norm I don't know about that says to do this? It makes walking down the hall an obstacle course, especially for people with mobility issues. I think I've seen this on every ship we've ever been on. Our steward always removes any excess dishes or coffee cups we might have. Most of the time we take dishes back to the buffet if we've brought them out of there...usually just coffee cups.

 

 

We have issues with this as well. The obstacle course.

[Folk Singer]

hahaha good one!

 

What i usually say is: Excuse me but this elevator is not going anywhere until i get off, perhaps you should wait before boarding?

 

 

:d :) ;)

Edited October 7, 2014 by Folk Singer

[Cruising-along]

The rudest thing I have ever seen is people who expect everyone else to conform to their cultural standards. They seem to forget that people on board come from all sorts of cultures and backgrounds and have probably got different standards.

 

I really do wonder who some people think they are that everyone else has to conform to their norm.

 

Gut2407...... You are spot on with this comment. Not just on cruise ships either.

 

We sometimes look at each other in disbelief at some of the comments that we hear from other travellers. Some just don't get it that not everyone has the same ways, nor do they want the same ways. We are never quite certain if this is attributable to intolerance, arrogance, or just plain ignorance. Perhaps a combination of all three.

 

Usually I would agree with you. I live the same way. But when it comes to pushing and shoving in order to be the first (for anything, lines for the MDR, coffee, disembarkation, embarkation, you name it) that is just rude, plain and simple. Maybe it doesn't bother you to be shoved aside after waiting patiently for your turn, but it bothers me a lot.

 

I don't care if it's "their norm" where they live. :mad:

[Murray's Pop]

Please help me here. In what modern, non-primative society is it considered appropriate to cut in front of people in line and shove others out of the way?

[julie3fan]

Please help me here. In what modern' date=' non-primative society is it considered appropriate to cut in front of people in line and shove others out of the way?[/quote']

 

I know, right!

[Cruising-along]

Please help me here. In what modern' date=' non-primative society is it considered appropriate to cut in front of people in line and shove others out of the way?[/quote']

 

Exactly. And it can happen in any culture. This week we were waiting in line at an airport in CA. The line had formed long before and stretched back behind and in front of us. A handful of people sauntered up from the right and "merged" in. Apparently their time is more important. :rolleyes:

[chrispb]

On another note:

My husband and I sit across from each other in the Lido when we eat because he is hard of hearing and it helps if he can face me while talking. We don't mind sharing a table but I find it annoying when people ask us to move so we are sitting next to each other so they can sit next to their spouse/companion. I don't feel we should have to move and we don't move.

 

What an odd request. If these people had a 2 top then it would be usual to be seated opposite each other and not side by side in the MDR so why expect to be side by side in the Lido.

 

I definitely wouldn't move either and would also point out the 2 available seats - take it or leave it:cool:

[laurmac]

On my recent Zaandam cruise - a man in the Lido asking the Lido Waitress how much money she sent home every month. While my mouth hung open, she politely replied "about half" he then proceeded to ask her why she needed to keep half her money, what could she possible need it for? I was speechless.

 

 

Elevators - It generally understood that folks with scooters wheelchairs etc, should be allowed to enter an elevator first, with standing passengers filling in the space around them. What irks me is when the person with the scooter wants to be the 'first off' the elevator, when it is much easier and safer for that person to be last off the elevator so that they have the room to manouver.

[gjt3rd]

I have only been on Carnival and most kids are well behaved but there were always some who were unsupervised and some who always took over swimming pools so there was no adult times. I did not like what I saw the kids being exposed to whether it happenned at home or not. One lady was so drunk she could not walk a straight line. She started trying to make out with an adolescent. The kid was in shock but enjoyed the attention. Did I mention she was topless. I had to insist that the credit help her. Yes because the woman was at risk and may have been assaulted. After a long wait someone from security came and led her away like a lamb. To this day I worry about that lady. It was a short Carnival Cruise so maybe that is why I have seen some weird behavior. The adolescents should not have been allowed at the pool at that time of night. That much drunkenness by a single young lady meant something was wrong. Where were her friends? So ... kids out after 10pm and over indulgence in alcohol round out my list.

[SeagoingMom]

I don't care what people wear as long as I don't have to see parts of the body best left covered....

 

BUT, it really irks me when people eat directly from the buffet with their hands - yes, I have observed several instances on different ships of people reaching in with their hands multiple times and eating....

Are you talking about folks foregoing the tongs and reaching in to grab, for example, a roll or piece of fruit, which they then put on their plate? As long as they have not pawed any of the other offerings, is there a problem?

But then perhaps you are referring to a behavior similar to what I have seen: children (maybe adults do it, too? ...shudder...) reaching in with their hands to pick something off a buffet, taking a bite, then putting the remainder back on the buffet! :eek: I know children do this because quick as a wink under my own nose one of my own young ones did it many years ago! As soon as I saw it I immediately removed from the buffet the item he had put back and all the items surrounding it that his piece might have touched. It was horrifying to me that he had managed to do it in spite of my close supervision, and I certainly learned a good lesson from it!

 

I do not in any way condone such behavior, and I still eat at buffets! But I have always found some consolation in the idea that being unknowingly exposed to these sorts of things helps build up our immune systems... :rolleyes:

 

However, in terms of hygiene, I'd rather reach in and take, say, a bagel or an apple with my own clean hand than be forced to use a set of tongs that everyone else on in the buffet line has touched with their dubiously sanitary hands! Even so, there is no way for me to know if someone else's hand has touched something I want to eat. And therein lies the dilemma! So I now generally go through buffet lines with a clean napkin in my hand which I wrap around tongs and serving utensils before employing them to serve myself.

[earljr]

On another note:

My husband and I sit across from each other in the Lido when we eat because he is hard of hearing and it helps if he can face me while talking. We don't mind sharing a table but I find it annoying when people ask us to move so we are sitting next to each other so they can sit next to their spouse/companion. I don't feel we should have to move and we don't move.

 

Agree 100%

[windsor26]

So I now generally go through buffet lines with a clean napkin in my hand which I wrap around tongs and serving utensils before employing them to serve myself.

 

What an excellent idea I will do this in future as I also have seen done very unsanitary behaviour

 

One 'lady' carried a bowl across the buffet sneezed into it and then later put it back on the top of a pile of bowls. I scooped the top 3 off and gave them to a steward and explained why.

[repo-cruiser]

My most angry moment on a HAL ship was (without getting into a smoking issue) an IDIOT in the Lido chatting away with his "partner" on a walkie talkie.

 

Second place was an older gentleman who complained bitterly to a Lido staff person that she was cutting the meat wrong. He berated her loudly and turned to tell all of us that he had been a butcher for a 100 years or so. I even found the supervisor and told him that she had been verbally abused for no reason.

 

Hats and t-shirts in the MDR are just plain rude but the lady in the Lido wearing a bathrobe and barefooted during breakfast was disgusting.

 

I made at least 15 people get sick(vomiting), because I wasn't allowed to wear a hat in the MDR, so I went and they all got to see where I had recently had brain surgery. Quit being so judgemental, and prepare for what you will get .:)

[doublebzz]

I made at least 15 people get sick(vomiting), because I wasn't allowed to wear a hat in the MDR, so I went and they all got to see where I had recently had brain surgery. Quit being so judgemental, and prepare for what you will get .:)

 

I am sympathetic with your medical issue but "exceptions don't prove the rule".

[serendipity1499]

I do have one thing that really tops my "rude chart". First a short explanation.

 

I have arthritis in both knees and one ankle. I use a cane on days when the arthritis is really causing a great deal of pain and or instability. On good days, the cane is left behind, but I do walk a little slower to avoid an accidental fall. That said, people who are dependent on scooters and expect people to get out of their way so they can be someplace first are at the top of my peeve chart.

 

Our first cruise ever, we encountered such a person and to be honest she scared the living daylights out of me. If you didn't move fast enough, she would run the scooter up on the back of your legs, she beeped the horn constantly, and when waiting for an elevator, she would push her way to the front and try to get on the elevator even before allowing others to disembark. If you asked her to please wait while others got off, she became very loud and verbally abusive.

 

It doesn't matter whether or not if you are able bodied or have a disability, RUDE is RUDE. It stems from how you treat other people and unfortunately a large number of people do not know how to be kind to others. And then they wonder why they are avoided by the general public.

 

Anyway, that is my experience.

 

Okie1946

 

This incident reminds me of the wonderful Mama Lou who lives on various HAL ships for months at a time.. She always has a flower in her hair, & uses a walker with lots of flower decorations & soft cuddly animals which have been given to her.. Mama Lou is quite spirited & very cheerful ..She is obviously loved by the crew...

 

We were in line directly behind her while waiting to meet the Captain on HAL, & were chatting with her.. A man in a motorized wheelchair with his wife/friend got off the elevators close to the theater entrance & came toward us.. Mama Lou greeted him by name & then in a loud voice said "Don't even think about cutting in line! Go to the back of the line!" We & others both behind & in front of us heard her .. Many smiled or laughed out loud.. Some even clapped!

 

I know Mama Lou meant that & the poor man did go to the back of the long line..

Edited October 8, 2014 by serendipity1499

[gjt3rd]

After reading this thread - I have some ideas of how to respond without being rude in return. Thanks for the insight into Rudeness and Bad Manners. I am guessing that longer cruises mean that people are locked together so they behave appropriately most of the time.

[iancal]

There are,so many great things about travel that we tend to focus on those positives.

 

Someone wearing a t shirt or a hat in the MDR does not make it on our radar. nor does someone wearing a robe outside of their cabin. unless it is pushing, shoving, fondling the food (we see this most often at the biscuit tray or at the bread area and more often by people of a certain age) we just could care less.

 

If we fussed all the small things then we may as well stay home. A few cruises ago we sat with a few people who did nothing but complain about the cruise line and comment about what others were wearing (not that it was any of their business mind you). It was a wonderful cruise that many can only dream about. Yet these four were winging and complaining about everything. We quickly excused ourselves and left the table.

[bobpell]

How many of us have experienced the boorish behavior of the hairy lout that stands by the aft pool and sprays a copious quantity of simulated coconut sunscreen while holding his bomb 3 feet from his body!!?

Instead of applying this noxious aerosol in his cabin he stands by the pool while the ship is moving at 20 knots. Everyone downwind starts gagging and covering up.

He then proceeds to slither into the pool and coats the water with a slick of effluent that sticks to everything.

And yes this hairy behemoth has to be wearing a miniscule speedo.!!

Ban the bomb

[EatonDoolittle]

There are,so many great things about travel that we tend to focus on those positives.

 

It was a wonderful cruise that many can only dream about. Yet these four were winging and complaining about everything. We quickly excused ourselves and left the table.

 

I've mentioned this story before, but I once was seated next to such a complainer (one guy, his wife was silent) at breakfast. NOTHING was right in his eyes. Part of his rant was also comparing lines, and ships and going on about all his experience..

 

After a bit I just turned to him, looked him in the eye, and said, "Well, since everything is so horrible, it certainly sounds to me like you better just stop cruising".

 

He had no response, but did quiet down and leave the table soon after. Don't know if he took my advice and kept his grumpy self at home or not.