Stressed about children "free range" on Lady O

[CruisingMomma88]

I know I know I know...this has been posted hundreds if not thousands of times. I am a self-proclaimed "helicopter" mother and I'm totally nervous about my two kids roaming free. Yes, they are young (12/13) and I wouldn't let them roam free in a city (as an example) of 6000+ people so why should Oasis be different? My DH and both children insist that I need to land the helicopter and 'chill' but it's very hard.

 

So, the compromise is that I want the kids to be able to answer my *cough cough random texts to see where they are etc. After all this is their vacation too so they should enjoy it right? Of course. *She says reluctantly* So I've read about internet/renting phones/walkie-talkies etc. We are Canucks so walkie-talkie type things are not likely as feasible or inexpensive in the US. Myself, DH and two children all have different carriers (one child has IPhone) and we have Android etc. So I don't know if there is anything we can do in terms of enabling text?

 

Please don't flame me for asking this question. I'm really looking for someone who has recently been able to SUCCESSFULLY keep tabs on their kids and I am not really interested in a speech/lecture about why or how I need to let go. I say that with the utmost respect. I am asking for some feedback and a way that is reliable.

 

Thanks in advance and happy cruising. Can't wait to board Oasis soon.

[Clarea]

Contact your cell carrier(s) and ask them for details about texting while out to sea. I know AT&T charges $0.50 per text sent for US based plans, but know nothing about Canadian plans.

[idamae3218]

Did you mean you have different mobile carriers, like att, Verizon, etc or different type phones, iphones & android?

 

Walkie talkies aren't as expensive as the internet plans, but sometimes the reception is bad.

 

I can tell you from experience (sons were 6 & 3 on first cruise & are now 21 & 18), that at 12 & 13 they have a lot planned in the teen program. If phones & walkies don't work out, you could schedule check in points throughout the day.

My sons were expected to be in the teen program or find us tell us where they would be. We left them notes with our location and they did the same if they missed us. They had so much time after the last activity at night to be back or they might be embarrassed by mom & dad looking for them.

[cjdixon4]

Hey CruisinMomma, I'm with you...YOUR children, YOUR rules! Check with each individual carrier, as Bob said. They've all got specific rates for international texting, data, etc. Forget about those onboard walkie-talkie things that Oasis rents out. When we were on Oasis in 2012 people were having so many problems with off/on signals; sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't. I've read that those issues still exist occasionally. Hope you and your family have a great sailing!

[cb at sea]

OP...don't read this, but I can't help it!

 

Ok...you really don't need to have "body cams" on your kids! You're attempting to raise ADULTS, right? So...allow them to come and go to SPECIFIC things alone. You MUST give kids some independence, or they'll NEVER learn to be independent!!

 

Say they go to the kid's club. You tell them where YOU will be...(and be there!) and let them come to YOU for a physical check in. If they want to go to the buffet for a lemonade...let them do it alone...and come on back to you!

Repeat as needed. Texting or walkie talkies only tell you that they're alive...it will give you no idea of their location or condition...so insist on physical check in times!

 

I'm not advocating "roaming aimlessly"..but kids that age should NOT need mommy (or another adult around) every minute! You are truly not doing your job as a parent if you insist on hovering all the time.

 

Common sense rules! We you "hovered" over as a child? I wasn't...and yet, here I am, hail and hearty, and quite comfortable on my own!! That's your goal for you kids. To NOT need you!

Edited July 10, 2015 by cb at sea

[CruisinHeels]

Walkie-talkies won't work well on Oasis. Just too big and too much steel. If you are really worried you can enable internet access on a couple of devices, but be prepared to spend $15 for the 1st device per day and $22.50 per day for 2 devices. Then you would use a texting app such as "Whats App" to text between different operating systems (i.e. iOS and Android). Not sure if the 50% off second device discount is extended to 3rd, 4th, etc devices. Alternatively, US carriers allow customers to buy cellular packages, or charge $.50 per each basic text message sent (without attachments).

 

 

We have a similar parenting style to you, but allowed our 12 year old to roam free with her same age cousin for couple hour increments with "check back" times, which she respected. Worked well for us and gave them a sense of controlled freedom.

 

Have fun!!!

Edited July 10, 2015 by CruisinHeels

[CruisinHeels]

Oh, and one more "free" idea for you... Take a magnetic dry erase board and pen (like they probably use in their locker at school) and put it inside or outside your cabin door. Then you can leave notes for each other as to whereabouts. Metal walls on ships! This was a helpful tip we read on this forum and allowed our extended family to keep tabs on each other.

[BamaGuy44]

OP...don't read this, but I can't help it!

 

Ok...you really don't need to have "body cams" on your kids! You're attempting to raise ADULTS, right? So...allow them to come and go to SPECIFIC things alone. You MUST give kids some independence, or they'll NEVER learn to be independent!!

 

Say they go to the kid's club. You tell them where YOU will be...(and be there!) and let them come to YOU for a physical check in. If they want to go to the buffet for a lemonade...let them do it alone...and come on back to you!

Repeat as needed. Texting or walkie talkies only tell you that they're alive...it will give you no idea of their location or condition...so insist on physical check in times!

 

I'm not advocating "roaming aimlessly"..but kids that age should NOT need mommy (or another adult around) every minute! You are truly not doing your job as a parent if you insist on hovering all the time.

 

Common sense rules! We you "hovered" over as a child? I wasn't...and yet, here I am, hail and hearty, and quite comfortable on my own!! That's your goal for you kids. To NOT need you!

 

Why are we YELLING!?!?

[bubba83]

Im not a mother of teenagers yet...mine are 2 and 4 :)

But I was a teenager once who sailed at 18 with my 17 year old sister and our parents.

 

They let us roam the ship but established that we ate dinner together every night, we got off the ship together, and had random check ins at designated times and places throughout the day while on the ship...and it worked out great. Although we really didn't venture away from our parents during the day time, we are a sun/pool loving family so that's where we would all be..... we were not interested in the teen club at that age, but your preteen/early teens may be.

 

I do agree that the post it/dry erase board would be beneficial but a nice water proof watch, designated meet times and places and communications would be enough.

[Cel_cruise]

Why are we YELLING!?!?

 

 

Where was the yelling in this quote? This is the 2nd post in 2 days where I have seen a cc member interpret emphasis capitals for yelling? I don't understand that...

[sailaway2010]

Where was the yelling in this quote? This is the 2nd post in 2 days where I have seen a cc member interpret emphasis capitals for yelling? I don't understand that...

 

It's quite simple, really. In internet jargon words spelled with capital letters represents yelling.

[hansolosmom]

We went the route of sticky notes & check-ins rather than electronic devices.

 

In the morning we discussed where we would be and if someone was changing plans they needed to check-in with us or go back to the cabin and write a note as to where they were going. It worked for us and in all honesty made me less nervous about someone losing a cell phone, dropping it in the pool or accidently leaving it on & getting charged roaming fees.

 

Does Royal have an communications app? Some other lines have them where you download the app & can message each other without it being charged as texting or wifi. The messages don't cost anything but there's a fee for the device to connect to the app.

[hansolosmom]

Oh, and one more "free" idea for you... Take a magnetic dry erase board and pen (like they probably use in their locker at school) and put it inside or outside your cabin door. Then you can leave notes for each other as to whereabouts. Metal walls on ships! This was a helpful tip we read on this forum and allowed our extended family to keep tabs on each other.

 

As a safety tip please keep the board inside the room, same thing with sticky notes. Otherwise you're broadcasting to the world when the cabin is empty or if someone is there alone.

[spookwife]

It's quite simple, really. In internet jargon words spelled with capital letters represents yelling.

 

 

if all words in a post are capitalized, yes. if only certain words are, that means special attention must be paid to those words as they have been emphasized. kind of like using a yellow hilighter

[S.A.M.J.R.]

It's quite simple, really. In internet jargon words spelled with capital letters represents yelling.

Agree w/PP... an entire post in caps is yelling. Individual words in caps is for emphasis (possibly easier than bolding, italicizing, or underlining, especially on a phone/tablet).

[hamacting]

We used a pair of rechargeable walkie-talkies that I bought from one of our discount supermarkets - I picked them up for £5 (under US$10) and they worked like a charm, even when the kids were in the Windjammer and we were in our room at the front of the boat.

 

I understand your concerns - my wife and I frequently have respectful disagreements about exactly how much responsibility and freedom we feel comfortable giving our kids. Probably a cruise ship is about as safe an environment for doing so as you're likely to find, but you can never remove all risk...

[Nemomof3]

I would ask them to stay together unless arranged in advance. We went when my kids were 12, 16, and 17 and the 12yr old had to be with one of the older ones unless they were in the kids club. It made me feel better than thinking of her being by herself and getting grabbed. (I may be slightly overprotective myself) at least if they are together they should be fine. It worked great for us since there weren't many kids on board so they all stayed together and did everything as one big group. As far as texting it depends on your carrier with verizon last year it was $.50 to send and $.05 to receive so if doing that makes you feel a little better I say do it. As the cruise goes when they show they are fine maybe you can drop to one or two texts a day. Also set up meeting places and times at breakfast each morning. It really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and we actually ran into our kids a lot they did the same things over and over pool, arcade, and ping pong.

[Paulette3028]

We used a pair of rechargeable walkie-talkies that I bought from one of our discount supermarkets - I picked them up for £5 (under US$10) and they worked like a charm, even when the kids were in the Windjammer and we were in our room at the front of the boat.

 

I understand your concerns - my wife and I frequently have respectful disagreements about exactly how much responsibility and freedom we feel comfortable giving our kids. Probably a cruise ship is about as safe an environment for doing so as you're likely to find, but you can never remove all risk...

 

Walkie talkies get too much bad press....they worked perfectly fine for us when we were on Allure as well.

[cb140]

yes, I'd go with the random check in idea (I think texts are a bit pointless because in what way are they going to make a difference? If they don't reply to a text, what are you going to do?).

 

We had the opposite attitude to you and our son was allowed freedom of the ship from our first cruise when he was eight, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be more protective, I think you just have to be realistic - as others have said, letting go is perhaps a process and perhaps a compromise of freedom with frequent check-ins would keep everyone happy (or reasonably so).

 

Another option, depending on your kids, might be to have a rule that they have to be together - it seems to me that whatever it is that you're worried about might be best overcome by ensuring that they kids stick together? Also, instigate some rules in particular that they must NEVER go to someone else's cabin and must NEVER invite someone into their cabin unless they have spoken to you first and got your permission.

[dst87]

Anyway, to give you a suggestion IF you all plan to have ship's internet on your phones anyway (Android/iPhone; doesn't matter) then there are a few options. You could use Facebook if they're all on there. Facebook Messenger will work using the data connection, and you could even call them using Skype or FB messenger. Alternatively if they don't have Facebook and you don't want them to then any other cross-platform text messaging service would work, such as WhatsApp. This is insanely popular and would also allow group messages so you could all keep in contact together and let everyone know where you are.

 

These suggestions do require ships internet though. If there are four of you total, you're talking $60/day to keep all four devices connected permanently. Probably not worth it JUST for that, but if you and the kids all want to be able to stay connected anyway then you can get this at no extra cost.

 

FWIW I think walkie-talkies on ships are obnoxious and distracting to other passengers. A text message or quick call is one thing, but a loud walkie-talkie conversation where everyone can hear both sides of the conversation in amongst the horrid crackling and buzzing... no thanks!

 

(I originally started this post with a rant, but I'll end with a short comment instead. Give your kids some space!! Surely the enclosed ship with staff everywhere is the perfect place to give them some independence and see whether or not you can trust them to be in a place at a pre given time. Seems like a good way for them to earn your trust or possibly show you they can't be trusted yet).

[maryjaden]

We had the intenet package. As I am a "friend" of my teens on facebook, we just messaged back and forth. It worked like a charm. We tried using radios on the previous cruise and there was too much interference.

[luckygem]

We have cruised with kids and grand kids for more than 25 years and I have a few things to add. Number 1 rule....my kids were never allowed to enter another cabin without my permission which was only given twice in all those years. Another possibility for back up communication are the cabin phones. Kids can check in and use voicemail to leave a message on your cabin phone. There are "house phones" on every floor near the elevators. The Internet can go down for hours at a time on occasion. At your children's age, if they are social at all, the teens tend to travel in groups. You will be surprised that if your children are trustworthy and only stay in public areas there won't be too much to worry about. I found that having a cabin moderately close to an elevator bank worked better for us.

[jcl410]

At 12 and 13, they will both be in the same teen program (12-14). My step daughter was 12 when she had her first cruise. The first night I walked her to the teen room, and picked her up at the end of the evening.

 

The next day, I took her to the group again, but this time told her where I'd be for lunch and had her meet us. She was already aware of the consequences of breaking our rules. (the typical ones; don't go into any one's room, if you're not in the teen program let us know where you are, etc.)

 

Aloha,

 

John

[emdia43]

Another easy thing they can do is leave messages on your room phone so you can retrieve them at will. If they go to the kids club then find it's boring and would like to go on somewhere else, they just leave you a message so you know where to find them if need be... they can use any phone on the ship. :)

[JessyCruises]

CruisingMomma88, we are from Canada too and getting a plan for your cell phone through a CDN carrier will be crazy expensive. As previously said, the walkie talkies also do not work very well (and we have pretty good ones).

 

If you want to be able to msg the kids, I think the best bet will be to get the wifi plan for two devices - you keep one and the kids keep one and make sure they know they have to stay together at all times.

 

That being said, we do not get the wifi plan and do not have any way of communicating directly with our 13 year old son when we are cruising. What we do on the cruise is every morning, we set a specific time & place where we have to meet. When that meet happens, we set the time & place for the next one and continue through the day/night, generally it is every 4-5 hours. If he misses a meet, he would lose privileges and miss out on having fun with his friends in the kids club. He has yet to miss a meet up yet. This has worked well for us.

Edited July 11, 2015 by Canadian Disney Mom