OK, So Maybe Carnival Isn’t As Bad As I Thought – So Sue Me

[TandKinNE]

OMG, I'm dying.....:D

If you are not a comedian/journalist you have definitely missed your calling!!

Great review-thanks

[DHnDWplus2]

Well Jack! That was a wonderfully written review and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I laughed out loud at the disparaging remark about Alabama:D

 

Sincerely,

A lady from Alabama with all teeth present and accounted for!

 

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Forums mobile app

[momdaughterondestiny]

Thanks everyone. Pictures coming as soon as I can figure how to upload them.

 

I have to say this is by far the funniest and most entertaining review of any ship on any line I have ever read.:D There are those that can do a great review one of them commented on the first page but this one goes in the record book of all time great reviews. Thanks for making me smile and laugh.:D

 

I would love to sail with you and welcome to carnival hope you stay and glad you enjoyed your cruise.

[4x4bob]

Another outstanding review. Waiting for the photo's. Can not wait to see the one with you wearing the blanket with a hole in it and the candy dish hat. :D

 

Bob

[Yorkvillain]

I had been experiencing so much SailorJack withdrawal lately that I was planning on going back and re-reading some of your older reviews. But then I found this thread!

 

Spectacular as always! I can't get enough.

[squiffynimrod]

So I'm confuzzled........................

 

Your location says "Atlanta" but you refer to yourself as being from "British Columbia, Canada?"

 

Inquiring minds want to know.....................

 

(A great read by the way)

[amandajean06]

Up at 3 a.m. feeding my newborn and laughing so hard there are tears running down my cheeks! Hope I don't wake the rest of the house...thanks for the review!

[JohnGaltny]

Brilliantly semi-demented as always Jack but how dare you write a review in a foreign land (like the Carnival board) and not tell me?

 

Funny, we will be on Carnival in September out of New York for a 7 day tour of fog in Canada. Care to join us. My latest review over at that other place has a lot of requests for just such a result.

[SailorJack]

Have you ever thought of becoming an author??

Very entertaining... thank you for making me smile today and so many others.. I am so sure sailor Jill has her hands full. :D

 

 

Great review!! Thanks for the laugh this morning. Love your description of the dining room. The cruise we took on the Miracle was my favorite cruise so far and the decoration & design of the ship are memorable! Also, what books have you written, I'm always looking for humorous reads!

 

Not an author or a book writer. I was a speech writer earlier in my career, but limit myself to the occasional cruise review these days. But thanks for the thoughts!:)

[Jgoodall08]

Soooooooo funny!!!! I want more!!!!!

[josumello]

Best review ever!!!

 

 

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[emmak8]

Loved your review!! I remember your review of the South Pacific cruise on the Crown Princess! That WAS you, SailorJack, wasn't it?

[Barbiegator]

Very funny review. Enjoyed reading a review that doesn't complain about cruising and enjoys a fun vacation. That is what cruising should be.

[A&L_Ont]

Spread out on the table before me are a variety of Salsa ingredients – chili peppers, jalapeño peppers, bell peppers, and cayenne pepper. Note the repetitive use of the word “pepper.” (In literary circles this is known as “foreshadowing” where the author hints at future dire consequences.) Also on the table are several other mouth puckering items - garlic, onions, and limes. The only innocuous items appear to be tomatoes and something called cilantro – which looks alarmingly like some of the weeds growing in my back yard.

 

My first task was to slice up the jalapeños and onions. Now for those of you have never been required to cut up onions before, be warned that they apparently contain microscopic organisms known as “ions.” These ions appear to be lighter than air, and once released from the onion rise up and can actually land on your eye. In retrospect, that is probably why they call them “ions.” These ions, in turn, cause the eyes to water and the vision to blur. Caution: Do not try to wipe away the tears after you have also been slicing jalapeños! BURNING PAIN! I was assured by several well wishers that my vision would soon return, but I think that it was during this period of recovery that I missed critical information regarding the use of the jalapeño.

 

SailorJack, as always a great and classic review. So many parts made me laugh. The foreshadowing in this one quote made me wonder what portions of your body would be burning later in the day, and I don't mean in the go to the gym type of burn. :eek::p;)

 

Many thanks sharing your adventures with us.

[Bemidji Ty]

Best review ever!

 

Cheers

[I Luv Crusin]

Very nice and readable! thank you!

[Lovetwocruz2009]

Fantastic review. Great way to start my weekend. :)

Thank you.

[Chief1369]

Brilliantly done, Sir. Bookmarking this thread so I can easily find it to read the rest of your reviews.

[SailorJack]

I thoroughly enjoyed your review Sailor Jack, except the AZ bash part, we may love our green sticks but we all learned at an early age to never touch your face after handling a jalapeño!

 

Thanks so much for the entertainment, now I'm off to find more of your reviews.

 

-Younger Sailor Jack

 

 

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Me! Bash Arizona!:eek: I LOVE Arizona! I did poke a little fun at the Palo Verde though didn't I?;)

 

Hope you enjoy the other reviews. I promise I didn't poke fun at Arizona in any of them!:)

[wolfganghowell]

Welcome back to the high seas SailorJack - you have been missed. I feel a bit stalkerish coming over here from "that" place but as always, so worth it.

 

And to those of you new to his brilliance, the Dream/Nightmare is definitely Numero Uno. I'll catch myself going back to it every year or so - truly the greatest review ever.

 

Salud, SJ - don't stay away so long next time. Your fans need their fix. Just make up a fake cruise sometime - we won't tell anyone.

[Yorkvillain]

Just make up a fake cruise sometime - we won't tell anyone.

 

That's a great idea! I wonder if we could tell the difference.

[JohnGaltny]

Welcome back to the high seas SailorJack - you have been missed. I feel a bit stalkerish coming over here from "that" place but as always, so worth it.

 

And to those of you new to his brilliance, the Dream/Nightmare is definitely Numero Uno. I'll catch myself going back to it every year or so - truly the greatest review ever.

 

Salud, SJ - don't stay away so long next time. Your fans need their fix. Just make up a fake cruise sometime - we won't tell anyone.

 

Would you guys be OK if I collaborate with SJ on a fake cruise? He is my cruise idol after all.

[wolfganghowell]

Only if I can be on the fake cruise too. We should create a place somewhere to share our best fake stories. A&L, York, SJ, JG - I'm sure there are a few more that are worthy. If they ask the right question, they can come in. That question is "Who is_____ _____?"

[SailorJack]

Well Jack! That was a wonderfully written review and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I laughed out loud at the disparaging remark about Alabama:D

 

Sincerely,

A lady from Alabama with all teeth present and accounted for!

 

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Forums mobile app

 

LOL.:D As you know, there is a little rivalry between Alabama and Georgia and enjoy tweaking Alabama when the opportunity arises.

 

Many years ago when I was first transferred to Georgia I made the huge mistake of scheduling the Christmas Party the same night as the Georgia - Alabama game. I never lived it down!:D

[cincicruisers]

Loved you sense of humor. Thanks for sharing.