Silversea Water Cooler: Part 3, Welcome!

[UKCruiseJeff]

I am curious! I would like to know something about how the Silversea Water Cooler started. You have probably answered this in the past. If that is the case, please point me in the right direction and I'll look it up. I do enjoy the posts.

 

Thanks,

Penny

 

Hi Penny,

 

Guilty as charged ......

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1894360

 

I was a long-term poster since around 2004, under a previous name (uk1) and when I returned there were and are a few posters who believe that they should decide who should post and what they can and cannot post even when they post well within the guidelines. There use to be continual outbreaks of personal attacks and nastiness and I asked Dan whether he would allow the cooler and he graciously agreed to be a place where everything pretty much "off and sometimes on topic" can be posted.

 

People who had previously not posted because they found CC sometimes hostile and unfriendly found the lack of tolernce of such behaviour on the cooler made it a relatively safe and nice place to chat and hang out. It has exceeded what I expected, when I started it.

 

It meanders and winds its way around lots of topics and we have some extraordinarily interesting people who post. It has been going ever since.

 

Please join in!

[Camillus112]

What fun, Jeff, and since 2013! BTW, the initial posts of the WC (no, not Terry's find) included ones by MarianH, a poster I used to follow, but I don't think I've seen her posts in a while. Got me thinking how we get close to people we may not even meet personally... much like in social media?

[Solo mi!]

I noticed right away how civil and interesting the posts were in comparison to the rest of CC. I, therefore, don't hesitate to participate here. You came up with a wonderful concept!

[UKCruiseJeff]

But it didn't harm the stature and reputation of the men?

Just another example of women being held to a higher standard.

 

I worked in a very male dominated field for 30+ years, and the thing that bothered me most was having to earn my credibility every time I met or talked to someone new. It seems that, generally speaking, men have instant credibility, (but can lose it through their actions) whereas women need to somehow prove themselves before it is given.

 

Best example: answering the phone. One day I answered the business phone and had someone ask to speak to a salesperson. I responded that I could help them. They replied that they had a very technical question and needed to talk to someone who could answer the question. I advised that I would be able to do that. They finally asked "Isn't there a man I could talk to?"

 

My response was "Tell you what. You ask me the question and if I can't answer it I'll go find a man for you to talk to."

 

They asked the question, I gave the answer, and at the end of the conversation they apologized (because we're Canadian) for their preconception of my ability based on gender.

 

If my husband had happened to have answered the phone, he wouldn't have had to go through the rigmarole of proving himself - they would have just asked the question (and then he would have had to come and find me to answer it).

 

 

 

 

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As unpopular as it made me, I felt and feel that women often had huge obstacles to overcome in the workplace. If the general reticence of investing time and effort in women's development in business through the fear of them leaving and having babies weren't enough, it always seemed to me that there is too wide a presumption that business is for men and family is for women.

 

You are always on to a hiding when generalising but my generalisations are many. I found women to be more inuitive than men, bolder at risk taking, and as a person who considers intuition and the sub-liminal as being an under developed and appreciated power to be nurtured and listened to, women most certainly foundmitmeasier to follow intuition when it was at odds with reasoned logic. Intuition in my view calls on a wider range of resources than reasoned logic which is somewhat confining.

 

I found women managers tended to be better at getting the most or more out of people. I also found I could be much more direct with females and not need to flatter as much as men seem to need. Frankly I found it easier to manage females than males because I am a bit impatient and not someone who scmoozes easiy.

 

Fascinating topic.

[MissSophia]

If it wasn't for the cooler I would just be a lurker...it's a lovely place to stop by and have a chat about anything and everything without the risk of being snarled at or contradicted which is what was happening on another board when l first joined CC way back.

Tis kudos to Jeff on this one and also to Mrs Jeff who must have the patience of a saint...😉😁

[UKCruiseJeff]

What fun, Jeff, and since 2013! BTW, the initial posts of the WC (no, not Terry's find) included ones by MarianH, a poster I used to follow, but I don't think I've seen her posts in a while. Got me thinking how we get close to people we may not even meet personally... much like in social media?

 

I think people hugely underestimate how our "friendships" will change. On places,like the cooler, you judge people solely on what they write. Not how they appear, or what they claim to be. I think it perfectly possible to have long-term genuine friendhsips built on trust and mutual interest with people you will never meet.

[UKCruiseJeff]

If it wasn't for the cooler I would just be a lurker...it's a lovely place to stop by and have a chat about anything and everything without the risk of being snarled at or contradicted which is what was happening on another board when l first joined CC way back.

Tis kudos to Jeff on this one and also to Mrs Jeff who must have the patience of a saint...😉😁

 

That can be read two ways ...:D

[MissSophia]

That can be read two ways ...:D

 

Of course......would that be masculine or feminine....😝

[Tothesunset]

I had the good frotune to spend most of my working hours in an almost exclusively female environment; however, when carrying out other military duties then company was almost exclusively male. What struck me most about those different envirnments was the lack of testosterone-fuelled rivalry amongst the women. Now, they undoubtedly had a rivalry but it was more subtle, more cultured, more humane even. So I would posit that there are behavioural traits that differ in groups of men and women - not in individuals necessarily because that depends entirely on the individual, but if you could average out behaviour, somehow measure it, I'm pretty sure that there would be, on average, charcteristics more clearly displayed by one sex than by the other. But that is not to say that each man or woman would share their groups characteristics, if you see what I mean. Generally men are stronger physically than women but there are strong women - Jess Ennis-Hill, Christine Ohourougou (Sp?) - and men who aren't as brawny as they might be (no examples offered to protect the innocent).

 

I also feel that a male is accepted into female company more naturally than a female into male. I saw this often - the tendency of the male members of the group going into mating behaviour. If women do the same then the subtlety escapes me!

 

But whatever we may think about the rights and wrongs of workplace inequity I would also posit that at some level we all have a series of programmed responses based on donkeys' years of conditioning and that's why I feel it important to actively encourage and protect individuals who are somehow assumed to have strayed into a role traditionally seen as gender-specific.

 

Consider this statement I once heard made by a very senior hospital manager while undertaking an Equal Opportunities Course (which were at the time compulsory in the Civil Service): ''But women make much better HCPs (Health Care Professionals) because they are more nurturing''. On behalf of male nurses, midwives, Drs and all male HCPs I have only one observation : ''Bo11ocks - judge me by me not your prejudice''.

[Tothesunset]

I think people hugely underestimate how our "friendships" will change. On places,like the cooler, you judge people solely on what they write. Not how they appear, or what they claim to be. I think it perfectly possible to have long-term genuine friendhsips built on trust and mutual interest with people you will never meet.

That's true. Everyone I meet hates me!

[Camillus112]

That's true. Everyone I meet hates me!

 

You have made me laugh out loud, LOL by any other name...

[UKCruiseJeff]

TTS,

 

Don't you also find that men, particularly reasonably but not excessively successful are terribly competitive. They have to prove that something is bigger.

 

My theory is that they all (mostly) need to find a pond where they believe that they are accepted as being the biggest fish. If if transpires that there is a bigger fish then they do all they can to harm that fish. In a way we see it also on internet fora. If someone perceives that another is more popular or knowledgeable about something they harass. It riles them. Wifey tells me I do not have a competitive bone in my body, other than I like making people smile.

 

Wifey and I use to enjoy The Humidor, but we found it different depending on the country of origin of the majority. Brits would talk about the weather or nothing and others about the last "big deal" they did. I always had the smallest cigar. :D

[Tothesunset]

TTS,

 

Don't you also find that men, particularly reasonably but not excessively successful are terribly competitive. They have to prove that something is bigger.

I would certainly not take issue with that analysis.

 

Wifey and I use to enjoy The Humidor, but we found it different depending on the country of origin of the majority. Brits would talk about the weather or nothing and others about the last "big deal" they did. I always had the smallest cigar. :D

We have heard this sort of willy-waggling but don't get involved. I've no need to get involved in the inadequacies of others.

Mostly we've met really nice people in there - it's definitely the most sociable room on the ship. We even met the cooler's dear Sophie! I'm nearly out of therapy.

 

I think those who are content with their lot don't really feel the need to compete - they may have at one time, who knows. We met a couple on one cruise who were lovely, were in a Vista suite (like we always have) and seemed happy in each other's company. After several days of meeting in the humidor I don't think we either of us knew much about each other's worklife as it wasn't a topic that cropped up - I knew he was vaguely in business and he knew I was a Dr but that's as far as it went. Anyway I assumed they were penniless waifs like ourselves with no greater ambition than to take each day as it comes. Turns out that the guy had sold his company for an extremely large sum (9 figures) owned much of Nebraska, a large chunk of Provence (we found all this out later) and were not short of a bob or two. Yet you'd never have guessed. I like that.

 

I often wonder what defines success. Is it the unsated need to acquire more? Achieve a level of celebrity or respect in one or more fields? Or is it being content with one's lot without feeling that you want some of what the other guy or girl has? Is it maybe making someone else's life that little more bearable?

 

To me the total of human happiness in the sum of small kindnesses. Which is not to say that their aren't some people who truly deserve a punch in the mouth.

[UKCruiseJeff]

I have always felt that the luckiest people are those that recognise at a given moment that they have reached the moment when they "have enough" and have the option to stop acquiring things and earning and do what they want with the time they have left. To many such a thought never occurs to them and they become rather blindly enslaved by the need to acquire much more than they will ever need. it becomes a habit rather than something they plan and think about. Competitiveness can be an all consuming illness.

 

Everybody here is probably within the top 1 or 2% of the world's wealthiest people.

 

https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/get-involved/how-rich-am-i/

 

http://uk.businessinsider.com/worlds-eight-richest-as-wealthy-as-half-humanity-oxfam-tells-davos-2017-1

[Tothesunset]

In the mid 80s I did 1 session a fortnight in a private practice treating outpatients under local or sedation. The practice principal was very hardworking but recognised that he couldn't do it all but wanted to offer my skillset to his pts. All very commendable. However, he had one sage bit of advice: When you get someone arriving in a Merc or BMW, if they are wearing nice clothes and if they seem in a hurry - make sure they pay up before leaving.

 

The rationale was simple - these people, with some exceptions, were ''on the way up'', mortgaged to the hilt and put what little was left into creating the middle class lifestyle. If anyone was going to be a bad debt they'd come from that category. As it happens the practice manager had a keen 6th sense for this and handled the payments. But it sort of got me to thinking - I wonder how many of these ''successful'' people were living from one bill to the next, from one interest payment to the next?

 

In fact one particular patient stands out for quite a different reason. Mr S had been booked in to have a recalcitrant wisdom tooth removed - it was clearly technically challenging but he had asked just for local. Mr S was about 6' 8'' tall and about the same wide. He was a farmer but arrived in a newish but filthy Range Rover and dressed as if straight from the milking yard. The procedure went well and he tolerated a good bit of carpentry without complaint. When we'd finished he got up and said ''Na then, lad, what's the reckoning?'' At which he pulled out the archtypical roll of notes wrapped in an elastic band and started peeling off tenners. I mentioned a figure, he gave me the notes and off he went with an appointment for a week later to have the stitches out. Never saw him again but the next week the practice manager handed me a bottle of single malt that the guy had left for me when he came to have his stitches removed.

 

Certainly pays not to judge by appearances.

[UKCruiseJeff]

I use to live in a village just outside of St Neots, and wifey and I found a pub in a close by village that we enjoyed. It was a farming pub and at first we felt a bit uncomfortable but in time we were accepted and fitted in. Grimaces, turned to nods of acknowledgements and eventually to smiles of welcome. It was a real antidote to the hi tec industry.

 

There was one old un in there who was way past retirement, but was still working the fields, mostly carrot and potato and brussels. He also grew beans. He was sort of considered the pub bore but he was the first one to talk to us and so we'd buy him a pint or three. After a few weeks, we went to the car in the car park and propped up against the rear tyre was a net of carrots. The following week a sack of potatos that were all large because I mentioned how I always sifted through the supermarket for them for chipping. Then there were the brussels.

 

It then transpired he was a keen pickler and he would leave the most enormous jars of sublime pickled shallots and then onions and then cucmbers and then mixed chutneys by the car. I always knew there would be something by the car because he'd wink and tap the side of his nose when I bought him a pint. I miss those days. Simple pleasures.

[Lois R]

Jeff, our last posts must have crossed and I didn't see yours until today. Thanks! It was really tasty. We have a lunch portion of leftovers still, so we could share. Just have to grill another skewer of shrimp.

 

Lois, I do Pulmonary/Critical Care Medicine so the weeks when I'm on call, I'm covering ICU. Small hospital so not overall too busy, but I might have to go in at any time. Chris does Radiology so she takes call too, but she has much less risk of being called in.

 

We try to coordinate so we're both on together when we can. Otherwise it gets excessive. I'm on every third week so if she's not on the same week, we end up with consecutive weeks where one of us is on call. That puts a crimp in our travel schedule! [emoji6]

 

Mysty, I tossed most of my college textbooks in 2004 when we last moved. I sometimes regret it. But I am a packrat. Chris keeps it from getting too bad! I still have a few texts from Med School but they are at work, in my office. So no clutter from that at home.

 

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Hey JP...so, what do the 2 of you think about all the "HealthCare issues"?............not even sure if I should bring it up

but being as you are both Dr's........just wondering about your thoughts.

[Tothesunset]

I use to live in a village just outside of St Neots, and wifey and I found a pub in a close by village that we enjoyed. It was a farming pub and at first we felt a bit uncomfortable but in time we were accepted and fitted in. Grimaces, turned to nods of acknowledgements and eventually to smiles of welcome. It was a real antidote to the hi tec industry.

 

There was one old un in there who was way past retirement, but was still working the fields, mostly carrot and potato and brussels. He also grew beans. He was sort of considered the pub bore but he was the first one to talk to us and so we'd buy him a pint or three. After a few weeks, we went to the car in the car park and propped up against the rear tyre was a net of carrots. The following week a sack of potatos that were all large because I mentioned how I always sifted through the supermarket for them for chipping. Then there were the brussels.

 

It then transpired he was a keen pickler and he would leave the most enormous jars of sublime pickled shallots and then onions and then cucmbers and then mixed chutneys by the car. I always knew there would be something by the car because he'd wink and tap the side of his nose when I bought him a pint. I miss those days. Simple pleasures.

The area we live in is all farming as far as the eye can see (in Lincolnshire if you stand on a box you can see the whole county) but the farming here is now quite high tech with very few farms less than 300 acres. Most of the farmers are quite well off and you wouldn't know they weren't accountants or dentists or something. The old ''Farmer Giles'' characters just don't seem to exist in this area. Yes they still have to do the fieldwork but they have £300k tractors with air con, sat nav, the lot. In fact our closest friend can plough his fields simply by programming the pattern into his on board computer and the sat nav and gadgetry take it from there. He has to be in the cab though, poor thing.

 

The labour intensive bit now is picking certain crops like brassicas, daffs and other flowers. That is done almost exclusively by Eastern European labour. We watch them from the house. It really is the most intensive back-breaking labour.

 

We know the guys that farm the plots within a mile or two of us and have open permission to take what we want - I don't suppose they miss a few cabbages from a 10 acre field - which is very kind. Sadly we have to do the picking ourselves! And they won't let me have a go on the tractors. Boo.

 

The good thing about farmers is there is no other breed so generously willing to make you aware of your shortcomings.

[UKCruiseJeff]

I was immersed in a similar environment to you in a way.

 

Whilst with the "corporation" two of my large accounts was British Sugar and Perkins Engines who used our mainframes. They were lovely people to work with. Perkins as you know powers quite a lot of tractors and many of the fields in your area were contracted to British Sugar.

 

I was also lucky enough to look after Ciba Geigy at Duxford who use to sponsor the Duxford Air Show and we ie us and the kids, always got an invite to join the festivities at the head table. The bonded structures division also made the skins of planes, the insides of skis and F1 body panels. So lots of interesting events to get invited to.

 

We use to use King College and Ely Cathedral for our "cultural events". Lovely days.

[UKCruiseJeff]

As there's a bit of a lull, why the bartender goes into the cellar and changes the barrels, I thought I'd ask what Coolers favourite five records of all time are. Four or three will do. Ten is a chore.

 

#1 Walk on by by Dionne Warwick

#2 Let's stay together by Al Green

#3 No woman no cry Bob Marley

#4 You've lost that lovin' feeling Righteous Brothers

#5 You've got a friend Carole King

 

It might change as I remember others .......

[MLeh]

I love all music. Here are some, in no particular order, that I appreciate when they show up in my playlist:

 

Where to now, St Peter, Elton John

River, Joni Mitchell

Black Magic Woman, Fleetwood Mac (the cover by Santana is okay too)

Long Cool Woman, Hollies

Misty Mountain Hop, Led Zeppelin

Listen to the Music, Doobie Bros

Radar Love, Golden Earring

 

Depends on my mood, really. Some are great driving music, while others are more suited to just sitting and listening, while others are ones you want to get up and dance.

 

 

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[tgh]

Softly awakens my heart ( Samson & Delilah)

Strauss four last songs (Frühling, September, Beim Schlafengehen, Im Abendrot )

The Pearl Fishers duet

[mysty]

Greetings Coolers!

 

What a fun idea J! I love music too! As my hearing went towards mute I shied away from listening. Hearing aids have brought the music back. :)

 

Hallelujah (favourite version by Pentatonix)

Stompa - Serena Ryder

Tusk - Fleetwood Mac

And anything song at all by Great Big Sea.

 

Have a great day all!

[MissSophia]

Well now....favourite all time songs.....l could be here for a very long time as l love all kinds of music....but play depending on my mood

[MissSophia]

Oops...don't know what happened to that last snippet....must have pressed something !

 

Anyway.......to keep relatively fit in private l will dance at home to some good old rock n roll...Chuck Berry, Quo, Elvis, Stones, old Beatles and maybe Tina Turner...

 

Easy listening is Al Green...Ella, Sinatra, Nat.......

 

Vodka listening will always be the Blues....B.B.King and the Chicago stuff.

 

Suppose my all time favourites would be the 50/60's era....those one can sing along to.....

 

Not a real fan of classical or opera....although l have seen Pavarotti live which moved me to tears.

 

It's a rainy day here in Wales so have been clearing closets which l find very difficult as l hate throwing stuff out on a 'just in case' basis!

 

Happy Day 😊