So my 17 year old got something well deserved from Carnival...

[Homosassa]

Don't do anything. Your son needs to learn that there are consequences for his actions and that he alone is responsible for dealing with the consequences.

 

If he wants the ban reversed, then he is the one that should do the work.

 

I wonder if the ban is just for Carnival Cruise Line or is shared with all the cruise lines under the Carnival Corp umbrella.

[BookDragon]

Wow. I’m just surprised Carnival applied actual consequences to rule breaking. What I usually read is the lack of enforcement. Anyhoo, If this occurred on my campus, which it has multiple times this year, the police write a citation, students& their parents go to hearing, and are fined and expelled to the alternative school. I am not judging you, as only you know your kid, but if it were my teens, they would sit out of cruising for a few years due to the serious nature of their actions. Then I would leave it up to the now young adult to choose whether to write to the cruise line. Sorry, there is nothing worse than when our kids let us down...btdt.

[ParrotRob]

They're lucky, those kids. On an airliner, this would've been a federal offense and they would have been prosecuted, not just banned.

[bury me at sea]

.. FWIW I will not ask for him. If he wants to ever cruise with us again he is going to have to take the initiative himself.

 

I think this is your wisest course of action.

 

You can have many happy cruises without him, and chances are great that as time passes he will successfully finish the long process of maturing.

[Blackjack22]

I understand that kids don't use/have "common sense" for a lot of things, especially young men. But to me, this is more like fundamental sense. Removing the the smoke detector for vaping seems to make about as much sense as setting the yard on fire to cut the grass. Assuming this is a true story (which I think it is), I'd wager dollars to donuts that the smoke detector was removed to combat smoke...likely a skunky smelling smoke :)

[ArchieCruise]

They banned him but bnb let him finish the cruise? As you said you were harsh on him for the remainder of the cruise. I would think if he were banned they would drop him off at the next port.

[A&Jfamily]

Sorry to hear he made such a poor decision. I agree that you should give him some time off and let him approach Carnival when he is older and see what happens. I agree that "mercy" might be appropriate after some time and maturity.

 

In the meantime, I would consider looking at other lines if you wish to cruise as a family. Pick one that you think might appeal as you are older - perhaps one like Princess that has world wide itineraries ranging from Europe to Asia. I understand you are about to be Platinum (we are too, including our sons) but to get there, we have taken just about every itinerary Carnival offers. As they age (currently 14 and 20), we are looking more and more to Princess (used them for Alaska and a Southern already and have Mexican Riviera planned) so we can broaden our horizons. Carnival is still a go to line for us for quick getaways, sailing from our home port of Norfolk, and for a cheap spring break. But, losing them would not be the end of the world, especially if they told my adult son they wouldn't lift the ban; and in fact, it might show you more of the world!

[E@syPe@zy]

So did your son have his own room on the ship??

What happened to the other teens that were in on the smoke detector incident?? Did you have a chance to speak to their parents?

I bet that was a long trip home.

[Saint Greg]

When I was that age I took my parents boat without permission and accidentally set it on fire in the middle of the lake. It’s a stupid age.

[Keys2Heaven]

When I was that age I took my parents boat without permission and accidentally set it on fire in the middle of the lake. It’s a stupid age.

 

What????? We're you filming a video as well? (Stepbrothers)

[Saint Greg]

What????? We're you filming a video as well? (Stepbrothers)

 

No video. We got out there and the battery was dead. A guy jumpstarted us and told us to keep the jumper cables on it. It got hot and the plastic on the jumper cables caught fire and caught all the wiring in the boat on fire.

[Host CJSKIDS]

I totally appreciate where you are coming from and can remember some of the stupid things that I did at 17. Yikes, must have totally ruined the rest of your cruise. Sorry to hear that.

 

How old were the other kids that were hanging out with your 17 year old? You said he was with some older kids who convinced him to take down the smoke detector. Isn't vaping allowed in some public spaces on Carnival? I just don't get why a bunch of kids that were obviously 18 and older were hanging out having to vape in the stateroom rather than up on deck.

Thankfully they didn't make your son get off the ship at the next port since his infraction was was bad enough to get him banned for life.

 

Good luck getting that overturned.

[BQ93]

Oh I assure you it is true, and not offended by the 10 posts thing at all.

 

He was in a room with his brother across the hall from us. They told us they could drop him off at the next port but they would not. They did interview all the other kids but did not tell us who they were or their consequences (although Indid see one mad mama leaving the security office) - in fact they didn't tell us he would be banned until we were disembarking. They pulled us into the security office and made him sign a letter. They did verify to us that it was a vape and they had found it with one of the older kids. I know what weed smells like and due to the hasty response of the crew I was standing in his cabin less than 10 minutes after they removed the smoke alarm. No weed.

 

I can assure you I will not try to get him off and he will not be sailing with us as a dependent again (he's 17 so not much of that left). If he decided to pursue it I will write him a letter, but that's it. I was just curious to see if anyone had any experience with a teenager in this situation.

 

FWIW I am not upset with Carnival at all. I am relieved to see how quickly they responded and how serious they are about our safety. We will continue to cruise Carnival - my Christmas cruise will just be a little cheaper.😊

[mz-s]

Wow. I’m just surprised Carnival applied actual consequences to rule breaking. What I usually read is the lack of enforcement. Anyhoo, If this occurred on my campus, which it has multiple times this year, the police write a citation, students& their parents go to hearing, and are fined and expelled to the alternative school. I am not judging you, as only you know your kid, but if it were my teens, they would sit out of cruising for a few years due to the serious nature of their actions. Then I would leave it up to the now young adult to choose whether to write to the cruise line. Sorry, there is nothing worse than when our kids let us down...btdt.

 

Quite a different thing between disabling a fire safety device and wearing jorts to dinner, wouldn't you agree?

 

Other than that I agree, I'd let him decide when it's time to man up and ask for forgiveness and see if Carnival would be willing to reconsider the ban. I would imagine that after he becomes a legal adult say age 20, they'd be willing to reconsider. They should in my opinion - kids are kids, and that doesn't excuse the behavior - but it should change the severity of the punishment for first offenders.

[Keys2Heaven]

FWIW I am not upset with Carnival at all. I am relieved to see how quickly they responded and how serious they are about our safety. We will continue to cruise Carnival - my Christmas cruise will just be a little cheaper.

 

Now, if only they were this serious about balcony smokers.

 

Yes, this is a life lesson for him and I can guarantee that his children will hear about this experience often.

[Shaded Lady]

FWIW I am not upset with Carnival at all. I am relieved to see how quickly they responded and how serious they are about our safety. We will continue to cruise Carnival - my Christmas cruise will just be a little cheaper.😊

You may have just saved your son's life!

 

One thing very missing from children's lives today is learning that there are consequence to your actions... if you never face those consequences you don't learn from your mistakes. Like the kid with the 'Affluenza' defense for killing 2 people while driving drunk- his parents bought his way out of every negative situation so he never faced the consequences.

 

When something like this happens, your son learns what happens when he does something stupid- it just might stop him from some future, possibly life-threatening mistake!

[EllaDuChien]

Oh I assure you it is true, and not offended by the 10 posts thing at all.

 

He was in a room with his brother across the hall from us. They told us they could drop him off at the next port but they would not. They did interview all the other kids but did not tell us who they were or their consequences (although Indid see one mad mama leaving the security office) - in fact they didn't tell us he would be banned until we were disembarking. They pulled us into the security office and made him sign a letter. They did verify to us that it was a vape and they had found it with one of the older kids. I know what weed smells like and due to the hasty response of the crew I was standing in his cabin less than 10 minutes after they removed the smoke alarm. No weed.

 

I can assure you I will not try to get him off and he will not be sailing with us as a dependent again (he's 17 so not much of that left). If he decided to pursue it I will write him a letter, but that's it. I was just curious to see if anyone had any experience with a teenager in this situation.

 

FWIW I am not upset with Carnival at all. I am relieved to see how quickly they responded and how serious they are about our safety. We will continue to cruise Carnival - my Christmas cruise will just be a little cheaper.😊

 

OP - As a mother to teen boys, I have to commend your response. My kids have always cruised with us, but if I were in the same situation, I would probably be feeling the same as you..."I'd love to cruise with you again, hope you can eventually get that ban lifted!" I hope you don't mind, however, that I will use your situation as an example to my teen boys? Yes, they're stupid but at least they were warned!! :D

[Woodfaerie]

First, you have ten posts to your history and you joined in 2007. Wow.

.

 

I wonder what posting history has to do with anything? Some of us are observers vs posters.

[Silent Penguin]

 

I can assure you I will not try to get him off and he will not be sailing with us as a dependent again (he's 17 so not much of that left). If he decided to pursue it I will write him a letter, but that's it. I was just curious to see if anyone had any experience with a teenager in this situation.

 

FWIW I am not upset with Carnival at all. I am relieved to see how quickly they responded and how serious they are about our safety. We will continue to cruise Carnival - my Christmas cruise will just be a little cheaper.😊

 

(y) (y)

[BallFour4]

I wonder what posting history has to do with anything? Some of us are observers vs posters.

 

For the time that’s a small number. It’s just an observation, not criticism.

 

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[MommytoAsquared]

Like previous posters have mentioned, you may look at other cruise lines. Once you turn platinum ask MSC for a "status match" and they will match your Carnival status to their equivalent status.

 

Sorry you are dealing with this. I understand you are in a tough spot. You want him to learn a lesson, but don't want him to be punished for life for a stupid teenage mistake. And really, it punishes the whole family.

[jason534]

Obviously a bad decision by a young person. As far as getting the "ban" lifted, I would be most concerned about the letter they "made" him sign. That's their proof in writing! Just curious, how did they make him sign it as a minor (hope you read it and agreed with the contents? On the upside, Carnival does not enforce at least 90% of their rules, so he has a chance to cruise with them again once he regains your trust.

[1lizette1]

I'm sorry this happened. I too am a parent to 2 teenage boys so I know all too well what mischief they can get themselves into.

FWIW I think you're doing the right thing by making him accountable and having him ask Carnival to be let back. I think not even letting him try is unfair. How many of us have done really stupid things especially at 17?

I wish I had an answer for if they'll recind their ban. All you can do is ask.

Everything will work out, it always does. Just maybe not exactly how we all planned

 

Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Forums mobile app

[BQ93]

Obviously a bad decision by a young person. As far as getting the "ban" lifted, I would be most concerned about the letter they "made" him sign. That's their proof in writing! Just curious, how did they make him sign it as a minor (hope you read it and agreed with the contents?.

 

It was more of an acknowledgement of his ban than a confession. Like signing a traffic ticket. Carnival was on it quick - 3 days after we returned we had a notice that our cabins for December would have to change since he was on the "do not sail" list. Admittedly it is a little easier to take since that will be the last cruise to really effect us as a family.

 

I agree that it SHOULD teach him a lesson. Harsh I know - but I have always told them life is hard, and it's harder when you are stupid.

Edited June 8, 2018 by BQ93
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[T.Swift]

In California if your license gets revoked you have to wait 3 years then you can start the appeal process . I would tell him to follow the same process. In 3 years he will be 20 and if he wants it he will be more mature and with help can appeal it.