I Might Be Going Solo!

[karinad]

4 hours ago, madgran said:

I have been reading this thread and thought I would tell you that if you can go, Go.  I sail with my sister and BIL.  My hubby refuses to cruise, he says would hate it, and will not even try it.  My sis and I have a ball.  BIL goes to bed early and we do want we want to do.  BIL likes for me to come so I can keep sis occupied and off his case.  Life is short and you should enjoy it while you can.  

I think this is the case with my BIL, too! He has even said to her that her and I should just go. I admire him for doing and travelling when he does because he's not 100% well, with several health and mobility problems. My ds doesn't trust him to be alone at home because he tends to forget to turn things off! If I go, it gets her off his back to come to the shows or do other things!

 

Yes, life is to short and there's still places I'd like to cruise to see them! I'd rather see them with dh!

[Greenpea2]

1 hour ago, karinad said:

 I didn't know there were so many miserable hubby's like mine out there!

I have one for too. He stopped enjoying cruises, got bored with them and has not been on one in 4 years. He is 64 (going on 94). He now prefers to stay home and take “staycations” and not leave our cats! The heck with that, I’m not dead yet! So I am taking my sister on a cruise in February (she has never been on one except a 1 nighter) and it will be a relief to be on a cruise with someone not grumpy, lol. 

 

I think there is a group of us out there, with grumpy significant others who would rather stay home. We should unite and all cruise together! 

 

😃 

 

you have a great attitude, girl. You will get through this and then go have a great time and breathe a bit easier in the fresh ocean air, whenever you do go. 

[karinad]

1 hour ago, Greenpea2 said:

I have one for too. He stopped enjoying cruises, got bored with them and has not been on one in 4 years. He is 64 (going on 94). He now prefers to stay home and take “staycations” and not leave our cats! The heck with that, I’m not dead yet! So I am taking my sister on a cruise in February (she has never been on one except a 1 nighter) and it will be a relief to be on a cruise with someone not grumpy, lol. 

 

I think there is a group of us out there, with grumpy significant others who would rather stay home. We should unite and all cruise together! 

 

😃

 

you have a great attitude, girl. You will get through this and then go have a great time and breathe a bit easier in the fresh ocean air, whenever you do go. 

My dh is one of those guys that don't sit in the house to often! I live a pretty quiet life and I make dinner nearly every night and serve, clean up for him and our mothers that are both 87 yrs old! If I don't go away, I won't get a break! Even the day of surgery I was doing it! I know, I should've played the cancer card and stayed in bed for 2 weeks! The truth is, it hurts more now then it did right after!

 

I'm glad to hear there's others out there like him and women that'll go without them!

[Starry Eyes]

A couple separate thoughts: 

 

First on travel insurance I’m no expert on travel insurance.  We buy annual medical/evacuation policy to cover us for those big $ risks while we travel, but we “self insure” for cancellation.  We have been on over 50 cruises and have not yet had to cancel or cut one short.  Someday we will have to cancel one, but we have saved enough in premiums over the years to cover the cost of a cancellation, especially now that we live close to ports.  So, I am just giving my own thoughts, biased by my observations of insurance companies.

 

If I were considering booking in a very high risk situation like yours, I would buy the very best policy I could.   And I would at least read and price the “cancel any reason” policies.  Just because the previous insurance companies paid without hassles in clear-cut situations does not mean it will be the same this time.  Your situation may not be as clear cut this time (imagine just a bit too much fatigue for you to be comfortable traveling...is that enough to force them to pay?  They may not think so!). Or maybe this insurance company will just be more difficult in general.  Call me a cynic; fine.   If they know they have to pay for any reason, they have a lot less reason to argue about your medical forms.

 

Second, on scheduling.  This really does not seem to be the optimal timing for you. Just a small extension in you radiation schedule, and you’ll be pushing up against the cruise.  And you might be wondering all through your radiation if you are going to get too fatigued for the wedding.  Then wondering if too fatigued for the cruise.  Because of the close timing, that sounds like a worry, not a reward.  Your budget does not allow you to travel often, so pick really well.  Your anniversary cruise does not have to be taken on the exact date to be as meaningful.  Do not let a bad cruise with sis and BIL ruin traveling with DH, especially if sis is not going to even consider arranging her travel plans to work with your obvious and vital health issues. If DH will cruise with you, pick a later date to cruise together.  If he only wants it to be the two of you, so be it.  If sis/BIL want to join and he agrees, be sure to spend more couple time though that means less sister time.  Just my opinion, worth exactly what you paid for it😉

[April42749]

11 hours ago, karinad said:

My dh is one of those guys that don't sit in the house to often! I live a pretty quiet life and I make dinner nearly every night and serve, clean up for him and our mothers that are both 87 yrs old! If I don't go away, I won't get a break! Even the day of surgery I was doing it! I know, I should've played the cancer card and stayed in bed for 2 weeks! The truth is, it hurts more now then it did right after!

 

I'm glad to hear there's others out there like him and women that'll go without them!

I am re-evaluating.  Might be time for a "heart to heart" with everyone that you're serving and cleaning up for. You have cancer, not a cold.  It's not just physical, it's emotionally devastating.

 

My DH admitted that he felt guilty about a lot of things (like..how I spent so much time planning trips and he always ruined them for me) and for the past 4 years has been an absolute blessing. He even calls himself "my butler".  I really hope yours gives you the love and appreciation you deserve.

 

Whatever you decide....good luck and wishes for the best of health.  Imho..the worst thing about the radiation was having to go every day for a few weeks.

 

As someone else suggested....go to the breast cancer forum.  I was very lucky in that I am being treated at a "world class" hospital with a large support system and available services.  I know I wouldn't be in the place I am today without them

[Travelicious]

With all of the potential unknowns about your treatment schedule, it sounds like booking this particular cruise might cause you more stress than reward.  In like circumstances, I would book something a little further down the road, which would still provide something to look forward to, but without constantly wondering if you will actually make it to the cruise.  

 

 

[Starry Eyes]

12 hours ago, karinad said:

My dh is one of those guys that don't sit in the house to often! I live a pretty quiet life and I make dinner nearly every night and serve, clean up for him and our mothers that are both 87 yrs old! If I don't go away, I won't get a break! Even the day of surgery I was doing it! I know, I should've played the cancer card and stayed in bed for 2 weeks! The truth is, it hurts more now then it did right after!

 

I'm glad to hear there's others out there like him and women that'll go without them!

Well, that stinks.  Might people think you are tough as nails as, this not be offering? If so, it might be time to reach out and ask for help.  Or, if nobody is going to help for free, rather than paying for a cruise now, perhaps save the money so you can pay for some household assistance when you need/want it.

 

I applaud your willingness to travel without DH.  I do it, too, as my DH is less and less interested in traveling as he ages.  Just be careful the time and place is really right for you, not just for sis.

[karinad]

4 hours ago, Travelicious said:

With all of the potential unknowns about your treatment schedule, it sounds like booking this particular cruise might cause you more stress than reward.  In like circumstances, I would book something a little further down the road, which would still provide something to look forward to, but without constantly wondering if you will actually make it to the cruise.  

 

 

In my heart, I know that you and others here are right about going somewhere later. I hate to wait until we're into the winter and no matter when a cruise is, there always could be a weather related problem. The end of Oct. could be hurricanes/storms. November is a busy month for us to get away. I've been looking at a cruise that goes out of NY on Dec. 1, so no flying! I think I do need something to look forward to after going through this! I can't believe how fast the time went since I was diagnosed in May!

[Travelicious]

50 minutes ago, karinad said:

In my heart, I know that you and others here are right about going somewhere later. I hate to wait until we're into the winter and no matter when a cruise is, there always could be a weather related problem. The end of Oct. could be hurricanes/storms. November is a busy month for us to get away. I've been looking at a cruise that goes out of NY on Dec. 1, so no flying! I think I do need something to look forward to after going through this! I can't believe how fast the time went since I was diagnosed in May!

Only you can decide what is best for you.  Best of luck with your treatment and your travels!

[karinad]

12 hours ago, April42749 said:

I am re-evaluating.  Might be time for a "heart to heart" with everyone that you're serving and cleaning up for. You have cancer, not a cold.  It's not just physical, it's emotionally devastating.

 

My DH admitted that he felt guilty about a lot of things (like..how I spent so much time planning trips and he always ruined them for me) and for the past 4 years has been an absolute blessing. He even calls himself "my butler".  I really hope yours gives you the love and appreciation you deserve.

 

Whatever you decide....good luck and wishes for the best of health.  Imho..the worst thing about the radiation was having to go every day for a few weeks.

 

As someone else suggested....go to the breast cancer forum.  I was very lucky in that I am being treated at a "world class" hospital with a large support system and available services.  I know I wouldn't be in the place I am today without them

I am so glad that your dh is treating you good now and admitted that he was wrong and spoiled your trip! I, too, am the one that does the planning, and arranging and I do get his approval for the trips. He knows that I do a lot of work for them and he doesn't even like to talk about them until a week before! You know that by then everything has to be done! He's enjoyed many cruises to Europe, Hawaii, Caribbean, etc. and all he has to do is show up and maybe carry a bag or 2!

 

Yeah, this isn't a cold and very emotionally devastating and I haven't come to terms with it yet. Forums are such a great tool for whatever you're going through and I do look for them for support! It helps that other people have the same problem and any question is answered openly. Just like here! Everything doesn't always go smoothly when trying to plan vacations and everyone isn't happy-go-lucky and has their own issues that are on this forum. It's a great help, not only for cruise questions, but emotional support, like breast cancer. We're not alone with our problems!

 

Thank you for your help and best of luck to you with your health, too!

[emdia43]

8 hours ago, karinad said:

In my heart, I know that you and others here are right about going somewhere later. I hate to wait until we're into the winter and no matter when a cruise is, there always could be a weather related problem. The end of Oct. could be hurricanes/storms. November is a busy month for us to get away. I've been looking at a cruise that goes out of NY on Dec. 1, so no flying! I think I do need something to look forward to after going through this! I can't believe how fast the time went since I was diagnosed in May!

I have a friend who spent some time agonizing over this same decision this summer. In the end she decided

to reschedule her treatment, booked an Alaska cruise while she knew she would have the energy, and sailed with no regrets. 

Edited September 9, 2019 by emdia43

[karinad]

1 hour ago, emdia43 said:

I have a friend who spent some time agonizing over this same decision this summer. In the end she decided

to reschedule her treatment, booked an Alaska cruise while she knew she would have the energy, and sailed with no regrets. 

Thank you! Yes, I've spent all summer agonizing over decisions about my cancer. Who and where to go to. 3 different opinions at 3 different hospitals. Then, what to have done, mastectomy or lumpectomy. That's over with except for the radiation which I'll start within 2 weeks, I think. If the doctors would say that I could delay radiation, I might, if it were only for a few weeks. The return of the cruise is Nov 8 and that's 2 months away. I just want to try to get all of it over with.  I will do some research on that, though! I hope your friend will do ok and will enjoy Alaska! You do need some energy to climb the glaciers!

[April42749]

Ush...I just remembered what happened after my radiation.

I finished in early Feb.....so I booked a cruise 2 weeks out.

The next week.....one week out....I came down with the flu.  I know....Feb is a big flu month.  But, at the age of 66 I never had a flu shot and I never had the flu.  I went to one of those "walk in facilities" for help and a letter to write to the insurance company; the doctor said it was probably because my resistance was down.  It took me about 3 weeks to recover.

So....another vote to "not rush things".

[karinad]

3 hours ago, April42749 said:

Ush...I just remembered what happened after my radiation.

I finished in early Feb.....so I booked a cruise 2 weeks out.

The next week.....one week out....I came down with the flu.  I know....Feb is a big flu month.  But, at the age of 66 I never had a flu shot and I never had the flu.  I went to one of those "walk in facilities" for help and a letter to write to the insurance company; the doctor said it was probably because my resistance was down.  It took me about 3 weeks to recover.

So....another vote to "not rush things".

I have never had a flu shot or the flu, so I hear you! I didn't consider that with my resistance being low and flying and being on a ship! I'll be 64 next week, so, no "spring chicken" either!

[karinad]

Well, guys, I did it! I took the plunge and booked the cruise today and my airfare! I was able to use free miles for my air. I feel like a weight was lifted from my shoulders! I talked to my radiation team the other day and they see no reason not to go! My treatment should be completed about Oct 16th. Hopefully, all will go as planned. If not, I'm purchasing insurance. I told my dh tonight at supper when we were discussing our sons birthday that's on Nov 9. My dh said that we could head to his place that Sat. I told him that I'll already be there because I'll get back from my cruise on Nov 8th and I'll Uber it to our son's house from the airport. I think he was in shock that I went ahead and booked! I'll be laying on a beach or getting served my meals on the cruise and he'll be home alone for 2 weeks! The man is never alone here and never has to get his own meals! Maybe he'll love it! Either way, I need this vacation and I'll hope for the best that no hurricanes come our way!

 

I just wanted to report back here and thank everyone for their support!

[jaja]

11 minutes ago, karinad said:

Well, guys, I did it! I took the plunge and booked the cruise today and my airfare! I was able to use free miles for my air. I feel like a weight was lifted from my shoulders! I talked to my radiation team the other day and they see no reason not to go! My treatment should be completed about Oct 16th. Hopefully, all will go as planned. If not, I'm purchasing insurance. I told my dh tonight at supper when we were discussing our sons birthday that's on Nov 9. My dh said that we could head to his place that Sat. I told him that I'll already be there because I'll get back from my cruise on Nov 8th and I'll Uber it to our son's house from the airport. I think he was in shock that I went ahead and booked! I'll be laying on a beach or getting served my meals on the cruise and he'll be home alone for 2 weeks! The man is never alone here and never has to get his own meals! Maybe he'll love it! Either way, I need this vacation and I'll hope for the best that no hurricanes come our way!

 

I just wanted to report back here and thank everyone for their support!

Congrats !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   and so glad the "weight has been lifted" !  and my sincere prayers for your treatments and recovery. 

[ollienbertsmum]

3 hours ago, karinad said:

Well, guys, I did it! I took the plunge and booked the cruise today and my airfare! I was able to use free miles for my air. I feel like a weight was lifted from my shoulders! I talked to my radiation team the other day and they see no reason not to go! My treatment should be completed about Oct 16th. Hopefully, all will go as planned. If not, I'm purchasing insurance. I told my dh tonight at supper when we were discussing our sons birthday that's on Nov 9. My dh said that we could head to his place that Sat. I told him that I'll already be there because I'll get back from my cruise on Nov 8th and I'll Uber it to our son's house from the airport. I think he was in shock that I went ahead and booked! I'll be laying on a beach or getting served my meals on the cruise and he'll be home alone for 2 weeks! The man is never alone here and never has to get his own meals! Maybe he'll love it! Either way, I need this vacation and I'll hope for the best that no hurricanes come our way!

 

I just wanted to report back here and thank everyone for their support!

Oh good for you. 

 

I hope that that your treatment goes as planned.  You have Something to look forward to once it is over.  Having the team give you the green light is probably helpful.  

 

I am am sending you this message from a hotel in Venice - I have come with DH as a celebration of my 60th birthday.  DH  grumbled all the way because we had an hour delay and a 3 hr stopover in Barcelona.  Honestly first world problems!   I could have done with travelling solo here.  

 

If I were you I would be spending the next few days thinking about putting your suitcase together.  Definitely pack light, but do it now before you get caught up with the treatment.  

[karinad]

4 hours ago, jaja said:

Congrats !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   and so glad the "weight has been lifted" !  and my sincere prayers for your treatments and recovery. 

Thank you so much! I could use the prayers!!!

[karinad]

32 minutes ago, ollienbertsmum said:

Oh good for you. 

 

I hope that that your treatment goes as planned.  You have Something to look forward to once it is over.  Having the team give you the green light is probably helpful.  

 

I am am sending you this message from a hotel in Venice - I have come with DH as a celebration of my 60th birthday.  DH  grumbled all the way because we had an hour delay and a 3 hr stopover in Barcelona.  Honestly first world problems!   I could have done with travelling solo here.  

 

If I were you I would be spending the next few days thinking about putting your suitcase together.  Definitely pack light, but do it now before you get caught up with the treatment.  

I envy you being in Venice!!! I know how you're feeling with a grouchy husband! I felt the same way in the British Islands Cruise. He's lucky there are railings on the decks!😆 Yes, I do need to pack light and limit it to a checked bag since I have a stopover on the way to the cruise. It shouldn't be a problem since it's the Caribbean and NCL. I will have  eliminate some of the "what if" items that I usually pack. I will need to get caught up in the excitement of the cruise to make the time go faster for the 4 wks. of radiation. Thank God I'm not that far!

 

You have a wonderful time in Venice! Are you going on a cruise on just land? Be safe and thank you!

[karinad]

Well...I am back from my cruise and all went well! DH did not go. He dropped me off at the airport and told me to have fun! I met my sister and BIL at the airport with no problems. I finished my radiation on time, about 10days before the cruise. I broke out with a radiation rash on the day I finished treatment and that wasn't to pleasant! The day before the cruise I almost cancelled. I spent 3 days prior to leaving on the couch from tiredness. I did call the doctors of office and they encouraged me to go, but, to take it easy. If I decided not to go, they would fill out the insurance paperwork and support my decision. There were a few days that I sat out the longer tours and just went around the port myself. My sister and hubby went on the longer tours

 

Everything went smoothly! Great weather, beautiful ship and a very friendly cabin girl that watched out for me. I'm glad I went and enjoyed the time alone in my cabin! I can't say that I really missed my dh and we all had a laugh when something, like a meal not being great, we'd all say, "Thank God Bobby isn't hear! We'd have to listen to him complain!" It was all in good humor, because we all would've been happy to have him there, too! I would do it again!!!

 

Thank you all for your support!!!!

[ollienbertsmum]

On 11/19/2019 at 6:59 AM, karinad said:

Well...I am back from my cruise and all went well! DH did not go. He dropped me off at the airport and told me to have fun! I met my sister and BIL at the airport with no problems. I finished my radiation on time, about 10days before the cruise. I broke out with a radiation rash on the day I finished treatment and that wasn't to pleasant! The day before the cruise I almost cancelled. I spent 3 days prior to leaving on the couch from tiredness. I did call the doctors of office and they encouraged me to go, but, to take it easy. If I decided not to go, they would fill out the insurance paperwork and support my decision. There were a few days that I sat out the longer tours and just went around the port myself. My sister and hubby went on the longer tours

 

Everything went smoothly! Great weather, beautiful ship and a very friendly cabin girl that watched out for me. I'm glad I went and enjoyed the time alone in my cabin! I can't say that I really missed my dh and we all had a laugh when something, like a meal not being great, we'd all say, "Thank God Bobby isn't hear! We'd have to listen to him complain!" It was all in good humor, because we all would've been happy to have him there, too! I would do it again!!!

 

Thank you all for your support!!!!

Just seen this.  I had a great time and DH was good company most of the time except on the journey there when we were delayed by one hour in Barcelona.  Venice is beautiful but very crowded.  
 

I am glad it all worked out for you,  so when is the next trip 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[cruisequeen4ever]

So glad you got yourself onto the ship to have fun and celebrate the end of your treatment! Thank you for updating us. 

[MJSailors]

      Good to hear that you joined your sister and her hubby on the cruise and that it was enjoyable for you. 

    I think you mentioned that your hubby no longer wanted to travel with your sister and BIL. Maybe you have come upon a solution for that situation as you could cruise with them as a solo,then join DH for another vacation. Just a thought.

Wishing you good days and good health as we begin a new year.

[karinad]

8 hours ago, MJSailors said:

      Good to hear that you joined your sister and her hubby on the cruise and that it was enjoyable for you. 

    I think you mentioned that your hubby no longer wanted to travel with your sister and BIL. Maybe you have come upon a solution for that situation as you could cruise with them as a solo,then join DH for another vacation. Just a thought.

Wishing you good days and good health as we begin a new year.

Thank you! The same to you and everyone here!