Throw out the tux, give me luxury without the formality

[Joebucks]

6 hours ago, navybankerteacher said:

 

One of the enjoyable facets of travelling is interacting with other people.  Seated meals happen to be fairly good opportunities to interact.

Showing respect for others - clean hands, for example - is appropriate - as is wearing clean clothes - possibly even slightly more formal clothes than what is worn while out playing.

 

Of course, in an environment where the sole purpose of meal time is to fill ones belly and avoid having to interact with others none of the above is relevant.  But if you are willing to take the chance of interacting with other people, it helps to comply with some basic social norms - such as a dress code (of whatever level might be signaled by your host - the cruise line).

 

Do you still wear your top hat to church?

 

Having your hands and clothes covered in dirt or poop is different from wearing something a little more comfortable while on a hot, relaxing, vacation. Many opinions vary on what "appropriate attire" is. I can without a doubt say that I've seen plenty of people wear pants and a collared shirt, looking like they rolled out of a dumpster. Meanwhile someone in shorts and flip flops looks more presentable. 

 

If my shorts are what prevents who think like this from interacting with me, my shorts are paying more comfort dividends than I originally thought. 

[DirtyDawg]

51 minutes ago, Joebucks said:

If my shorts are what prevents who think like this from interacting with me, my shorts are paying more comfort dividends than I originally thought. 

If you're sitting at a table in the MDR how does the guy across the table even know you are wearing shorts. 🤔 

 

😁

[cruiseny4life]

1 hour ago, Joebucks said:

 

Do you still wear your top hat to church

I'm honestly thinking about buying a glittery, multi color suit to wear in the MDR on the formalish night on NCL. A rainbow top hat and pink gloves may just complete my dandy outfit for dress up night.

 

I'll be sure to get photos of @navybankerteachers reaction. Hehe

[iancal]

Lots of shorts at DW's church in the summer months.   They are more concerned with getting people to attend than they are about what people are wearing.  And jeans (it is cow town after all).  Plus suits, jackets....the whole gamut.  As you would expect it seems divided by demographics.

 

I always wear slacks in the MDR.  Does it bother me if someone else is wearing shorts?   Not at all.   The maitre'd makes the call and that is fine with us.

Edited May 12, 2022 by iancal

[lyannea]

20 minutes ago, iancal said:

Lots of shorts at DW's church in the summer months.   They are more concerned with getting people to attend than they are about what people are wearing.  And jeans (it is cow town after all).  Plus suits, jackets....the whole gamut.  As you would expect it seems divided by demographics.

 

I always wear slacks in the MDR.  Does it bother me if someone else is wearing shorts?   Not at all.   The maitre'd makes the call and that is fine with us.

This is why I propose 2 different physical settings or times for dinner.

 

Just like some believe that comfort won't change the taste of the food and they've paid for THEIR vacation time, 

Those who like to dress up are in the exact same situation.

 

I don't care what people wear, truthfully, but, if I had the option of dining in a room where people let it all hang out vs dining in a room where people want to dress to the nines , I would choose the later. 

It's really a shame that those who don't care to dress up, - are upset for those who don't feel the same way about THEIR decision. 

It's one night. Let those who like to dress up and feel important (for whatever reason) DO IT. It's their vacation as well. 

[Joebucks]

9 hours ago, lyannea said:

This is why I propose 2 different physical settings or times for dinner.

 

Just like some believe that comfort won't change the taste of the food and they've paid for THEIR vacation time, 

Those who like to dress up are in the exact same situation.

 

While it sounds like sunshine and rainbows to come to a compromise on a "popular internet dispute" what would it really look like in practice? Is there really this massive divide that a few, loud, voices insist? Many cruise lines are already on the tighter side of dinner reservations / space. To further complicate / restrict resources would accomplish what on the business end? 

[iancal]

We do not really care.  Hoping to spend time in the Greek Islands this fall.

 

We may pick up a last minute cruise.  We certainly will not be packing and dragging along  'extra clothes' just in case.  Formal nights, gala nights, whatever the cruise line chooses to call them is not even on our radar. Happy to eat in the buffet on those nights.  

[cruisemom42]

The problem with discussions like these is that it becomes difficult to take a position without others immediately getting their backs up about it. 

 

Truth to tell, the "formality" went out of cruising quite a while ago (and I'm not saying that's a bad thing). And also, most of us, if pressed, do have some "line in the sand" where dress can become offensive, whether that's a wifebeater at dinner, a vulgar saying on a tee shirt, a wet bathing suit or a general lack of hygiene. So instead of retreating to these two corners of the ring, why not accept what actually happens in real life, which is that 1) cruise line dress codes are pretty lenient, and 2) it seems necessary that some minimum standards exist.

 

I like to dress nicely but worrying about what others wear falls into the category of things I can't do anything about, so I leave it to the ship to enforce whatever seems appropriate (or not). If the ships' tolerance exceeds mine, I'd just look for a different cruise line. I'd hope most would respect the guidelines as given, but I recognize that some will forever push the envelope. 

 

 

 

 

[lyannea]

10 hours ago, cruisemom42 said:

The problem with discussions like these is that it becomes difficult to take a position without others immediately getting their backs up about it. 

 

 

I leave it to the ship to enforce whatever seems appropriate (or not). If the ships' tolerance exceeds mine, I'd just look for a different cruise line. I'd hope most would respect the guidelines as given, but I recognize that some will forever push the envelope. 

 

 

 

 

Great point. The cruise line also wants repeat customers. Those who want to get away from formal wear have been heard by the cruise line. Those who want some sort of "formal" setting have not.

I agree- find a cruise line that makes one comfortable.

I, for one, go to a hotel in Northern Michigan at least once a year. In the evening, everyone is to be "dressed up', whether you're walking around the hotel, eating dinner.

I haven't found a cruise line with this type of atmosphere.

 

I copied part of their dress code:

Because every evening at Grand Hotel is a special occasion, after 6:30 PM in main areas of the hotel dresses, skirts, blouses, dress sweaters, and dress slacks for ladies are preferred, while gentlemen are required to wear a suit coat, necktie, and dress pants (no denim or shorts). This applies for all areas inside the hotel including the Parlor, Lobby, Terrace, and Main Dining Room, with the exception of the Cupola Bar. Children 12 years and older are expected to be in dress similar to adults.

[ldubs]

10 hours ago, cruisemom42 said:

The problem with discussions like these is that it becomes difficult to take a position without others immediately getting their backs up about it. 

 

Truth to tell, the "formality" went out of cruising quite a while ago (and I'm not saying that's a bad thing). And also, most of us, if pressed, do have some "line in the sand" where dress can become offensive, whether that's a wifebeater at dinner, a vulgar saying on a tee shirt, a wet bathing suit or a general lack of hygiene. So instead of retreating to these two corners of the ring, why not accept what actually happens in real life, which is that 1) cruise line dress codes are pretty lenient, and 2) it seems necessary that some minimum standards exist.

 

I like to dress nicely but worrying about what others wear falls into the category of things I can't do anything about, so I leave it to the ship to enforce whatever seems appropriate (or not). If the ships' tolerance exceeds mine, I'd just look for a different cruise line. I'd hope most would respect the guidelines as given, but I recognize that some will forever push the envelope. 

 

 

 

 

 

Well said.  And I think every cruise line has a basic set of "not allowed" dress rules which I think are enforced fairly well.  Contrary to what some may think who read the original thread, I don't have a corner.  My previous comments focused on behavior, not attire. 

[cruiseny4life]

13 hours ago, lyannea said:

Great point. The cruise line also wants repeat customers. Those who want to get away from formal wear have been heard by the cruise line. Those who want some sort of "formal" setting have not.

I agree- find a cruise line that makes one comfortable.

I, for one, go to a hotel in Northern Michigan at least once a year. In the evening, everyone is to be "dressed up', whether you're walking around the hotel, eating dinner.

I haven't found a cruise line with this type of atmosphere.

 

I copied part of their dress code:

Because every evening at Grand Hotel is a special occasion, after 6:30 PM in main areas of the hotel dresses, skirts, blouses, dress sweaters, and dress slacks for ladies are preferred, while gentlemen are required to wear a suit coat, necktie, and dress pants (no denim or shorts). This applies for all areas inside the hotel including the Parlor, Lobby, Terrace, and Main Dining Room, with the exception of the Cupola Bar. Children 12 years and older are expected to be in dress similar to adults.

Thank you for posting this! We love Northern Michigan and were looking at Grand Hotel for a long weekend trip. It has now been scratched off as that is 100% not our style. I'm happy for those fancy people to have a place,  but as you could tell from my posts, I'm not fancy.

[cruiseny4life]

13 hours ago, lyannea said:

haven't found a cruise line with this type of atmosphere.

I think you'd be happy with Cunard.

[lyannea]

2 hours ago, cruiseny4life said:

I think you'd be happy with Cunard.

thank you ! 

I'm okay with having only one elegant night- it's 2.5 hours of a cruise anyway, thank you for the suggestion.

[lyannea]

2 hours ago, cruiseny4life said:

Thank you for posting this! We love Northern Michigan and were looking at Grand Hotel for a long weekend trip. It has now been scratched off as that is 100% not our style. I'm happy for those fancy people to have a place,  but as you could tell from my posts, I'm not fancy.

I appreciate your post. I'm not fancy 90% of the time on a cruise. In real life, I wear scrubs for work 12 hours a day, so for me to dress up for at least one night on a cruise is memorable to me & I don't care what others think.

When at the Grand Hotel, I do it for the experience- I've been there during a "Somewhere in Time" weekend and have met Jane Seymour. I also worked on another film there, where the crew had to stay off the grounds because there weren't any available rooms.lol. 

[slidergirl]

Re the dress code at the Grand Hotel:  Sounds just like the dress code at the Ritz Carlton Kapalua.  Stayed there because I got a Nike Golf School package for my now-ex.  Dressing up in Hawaii was not in the books for us - collared shirts with Bermuda shorts was as formal as we got (needed for the golf course).  We snuck down the fire stairs at night wearing our shorts so as not to offend...

[lyannea]

2 hours ago, slidergirl said:

Re the dress code at the Grand Hotel:  Sounds just like the dress code at the Ritz Carlton Kapalua.  Stayed there because I got a Nike Golf School package for my now-ex.  Dressing up in Hawaii was not in the books for us - collared shirts with Bermuda shorts was as formal as we got (needed for the golf course).  We snuck down the fire stairs at night wearing our shorts so as not to offend...

Great story- thanks for sharing.  I can't imagine !

[DarrenM]

On 3/17/2022 at 1:46 AM, cruiseny4life said:

 

 

Hey cruisers! I'm going on my second cruise next month. We will be on NCL's Getaway in the Haven. My husband and I will enjoy ourselves, but...

 

We really want to find a luxury line to cruise on next. I've found the challenge to be the dress code. We love what Regent Seven Seas does, but if I'm on vacation I'm not wearing dress slacks and a button down. 

 

As an example, we had my birthday dinner tonight: I wore lounge pants and a long sleeve t. He wore jeans and a Hoodie. This wasn't a really fancy place, but the cost of meals was well over $100 (no booze as we don't drink).

 

The point is I have to be professional at work and I refuse to do so outside the 6 AM to 5 PM that I work. When cruising we want the splurge which is why the Haven, but really want a small ship luxury line for our next cruise. 

 

Is this desire even remotely possible in today's world? 

Celebrity. the have Chic nights, which some use to over dress ridiculously, especially fellas in suits, tux's and dickiebows. 

 

On the Chic nights I went to the same restaurants as them in my jeans and T shirt. 

 

No issues whatsoever.

 

Nobody cared.

[cruiseny4life]

5 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

Celebrity. the have Chic nights, which some use to over dress ridiculously, especially fellas in suits, tux's and dickiebows. 

 

On the Chic nights I went to the same restaurants as them in my jeans and T shirt. 

 

No issues whatsoever.

 

Nobody cared.

OMGosh!! Dickiebows, I absolutely love it and I'm so going to call them this from now on!! 

 

Thanks, I have looked at Celebrity. The Retreat looks like a really good alternative to the Haven on NCL. Appreciate you letting me know this...and for sparking a lot of laughter on my end! Yes my mind is in the gutter...always.

[DarrenM]

4 minutes ago, cruiseny4life said:

OMGosh!! Dickiebows, I absolutely love it and I'm so going to call them this from now on!! 

 

Thanks, I have looked at Celebrity. The Retreat looks like a really good alternative to the Haven on NCL. Appreciate you letting me know this...and for sparking a lot of laughter on my end! Yes my mind is in the gutter...always.

It was a pleasure to be of assistance

[DarrenM]

3 hours ago, Hlitner said:

Are you offended by folks who prefer dress like they were not raised by wolves?

Not at all. 

 

Are you suggesting Jean's and t shirt is akin to being raised by wolves?

 

 

I do happen to believe those overdressed just look ridiculous, and they certainly dont look like they are having a good time.

 

Event the poses they do for the official photographer look seriously staged.

 

Lighten up Francis........comes to mind with some of them.

 

And where do they find the room in their cases for suits and those awful shiny shoes?

[lyannea]

8 hours ago, Toofarfromthesea said:

 

It does seem as if the people who like to dress down are far more critical of the people who like to dress up than vice versa.

Absolutely 100% correct AND they'll challenge those who don't agree with their point of view by asking if the food tastes any different when one is not dressed well, which to me, is skirting the issue.

[DarrenM]

4 hours ago, slidergirl said:

I believe the poster meant those ugly faux patent leather shoes, not polished shoes.  When my now-ex rented a pair with his tux for a wedding, I swear they were plastic.

 

oh, someone implied if a poorly dressed person were seated at his/her table for dinner, the conversation would be less than stellar.  Sounded to me like an implication that  someone's choice of clothing determines their ability to have meaningful and stimulating conversations...

Yes. This.

 

On saying that. Shiny shoes do look a little outdated generally.

 

I am 56 and even I think those patent shiny shoes look a little ridiculous in 2022.

 

I took my running shoes, a pair of brown shoes and my canvas sort of trainers

 

No room for any more.

 

Certainly not black funeral shoes....so loved by a few on reflection.

 

A small point of correction to myself.

 

I call a polo shirt a T shirt.. Sorry

 

My shirts all have collars

 

I offer my humble apologies for that one.

 

 

[DarrenM]

Smart can mean so much to different folk. So who decides what smart is?

 

A fella with a starched suit with his tie and top button done up, looking extremely uncomfortable, and about to choke, is not smart in my book.

 

Bermuda shorts and flip flops is not smart either.

 

A lovely summer dress and heals looks lovely on a fit looking female, but not on a 28 stone woman.

 

Me in tight white T shirt would look ridiculous, with my paunch.

 

define smart?

[cruisemom42]

11 hours ago, slidergirl said:

I believe the poster meant those ugly faux patent leather shoes, not polished shoes.

 

Can you really tell if they are faux or real though?

 

Anyway....if they are good enough for Benedict Cumberbatch, they're fine by me:

 

 

Classic can be very good. 😍

[lyannea]

1 hour ago, cruizergal70 said:

What's the issue? If the maitre'd staff allows a person in the MDR then they have every right to be there.

WHAT’s THE ISSUE, lol.

Apoarently you haven’t read the THOUSANDS of posts over the years on the pros & cons of leaving formality out of formal night- nothing to do with maître D, polo shirts, tuxes, let’s just be comfortable vibe, lmao.
btw, I like leaving my formal wear home.