"Are We Mad?" - a not quite live review of our Alaskan, Transpacific, Comedy, and Papua New Guinea cruises

[MicCanberra]

Talk about adventures, at least you were looked after.

[Cbtours]

On 9/7/2022 at 1:50 AM, Sparky74 said:

Part 3

Off We Go

 

Back at the end of February parts of Eastern Australia experienced unprecedented rain. Although the Clarence River did not overflow the levee banks in Grafton, the council pumps failed after the flood gates were closed and storm water could not escape. This resulted in about 2’ (600mm) of water through the Salvation Army complex. Subsequent to that the damp conditions lead to an outbreak of mould. We hope to be back in the building by Christmas. For the past five or six months I’ve been dealing with the insurance company, their appointed project manager, restoration "experts", builders, Salvation Army bureaucracy, a local rebuilding committee… And I’ve been constantly reminding everyone that we would be away for 8 weeks from mid August. So why, oh why do I get a call on the day we’re leaving, in the midst of all the last minute getting ready, to ask if I can meet with an AV consultant? Are they mad? But I head down to the (re)construction site to explain our needs and our wish list. Am I mad?

 

After lunch DW heads off to her rescheduled physio appointment and Bronwyn (the kind lady from church) and I keep cleaning. After her appointment Cathryn heads to Macksville in the white (work) car where we’d arranged to meet with our locums (they live in Port Macquarie). I commence leaving the house. 

 

The first issue is I can’t find my keys. It turns out that they’re in the white car with DW. She tells me where to find the spare keys to the red (our personal) car. I then commence the leaving dance. Get in the car, realise I’ve forgotten something, undo the seatbelt and run back inside, repeat, repeat, repeat. I start singing the last part of the policemen’s song from the Pirates of Penzance: 🎶 Yes, forward on we go. Yes, forward on we go. Yes, but you DON'T go! 🎶 Bronwyn is still there finishing off mopping the floors, God bless her. 

 

I eventually make it out of the driveway, into the street and around the corner when I remember one last thing I’ve forgotten so I chuck a U-ee and run back into the house AGAIN! Am I mad?

 

After having coffee with our locums at Macksville, we leave them with keys, my phone, and the white car, secure in the knowledge that everything is in safe hands. We head back to Coffs Harbour in the little red car. 

 

FIL gives me an Express Post envelope and apologies for opening it as he didn’t notice my name on it. It’s the International SIM that I’d ordered at the last minute. I had it sent to their place as I wasn’t sure it would arrive in time. I had ummed and aahed for ages over whether it was worth buying and thought it may have been a waste of money. But it turned out to be one of our best purchases and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that it’s worth it’s weight in gold. It doesn’t weigh much after all. 

 

Wednesday night is Family Dinner Night at the in-laws so 10 of us sat down to eat including DW’s adult niece and nephew. FIL and MIL are flying to Seattle a few days after us to cruise Alaska on the Carnival Splendor, B2B with the transpacific. 

 

After dinner, FIL starts talking about his medication, one of his favourite topics of conversation. He is whinging that he had to get two months supply and because of that he couldn’t get it for free it cost him $60. 😱 And I thought I was tight! He gets up from the table and returns with a FULL shopping bag which he plonks on the table. It’s full of meds and he’s still grumbling about $60. DW'S niece, who is a recently graduated RN just shakes her head. I ask him if they are his "keep alive" pills and he replies, "Yes, but they’re not doing a good job." Really?! Is he mad? I used to work in an aged care home so I’ve seen a few dead bodies in my time and I fairly certain he’s still alive and kicking. 

 

FIL continues to talk about his meds. Included in the catalogue of pills are a particularly potent laxative which he always refers to as his "brown bombers" to be taken should the need arise. In addition to these he also has GastroStop to counteract the effect of the brown bombers. MIL comments that they only buy these things to take on cruises and then throw them out once they expire and buy more for the next cruise. The RN continues to shake her head. 

 

FIL is going to follow his usual at home practice of decanting his pills into specimen jars. Why? Who knows? Why does he even have dozens of yellow lidded specimen jars? Why, to keep his medication in of course! The RN suggests he should keep it all in it’s original packaging for travelling overseas. No, he’s going to flatten all the boxes and pack them in the same bag as all the specimen jars full of pills. The RN is lost for words. The rest of us just shake our heads. I’m not going to even bother asking the rhetorical question about FIL's sanity. He’s definitely mad!

 

After dinner I attempted to fill out the electronic US Attestation form on the QANTAS webpage. I’d had issues doing this at home the previous day and had ended up printing PDFs for us both to sign. I still can’t get the online form to load so we’ll just go with the paper ones. 

 

I then need to print some labels for our crochet ducks. I find a template online but think it probably would have been easier to start from scratch. DW is a bit of a perfectionist (that’s why she married me!) so I continue to call her in for consultation and it ends up a masterpiece, complete with a photo of one of our ducks and a QR code linking to our own FB page, Ocean Going Craft. Of course I’ve done this on MIL's computer and it’s not connected to a printer so it has to be put on a USB so FIL can print it. Eventually I end up with 80 cards printed and with a hole punched in them, ready to attach to ducks. 

 

What’s DW up to while I’m doing this? Well her sister announced that the school where she works as a Teacher's Aid is having a cake stall the next day, could DW make some cupcakes? Sure, how many? Oh, about 100. Is she mad? DW makes her a couple of slices and SOME cupcakes, complete with icing and sprinkles, but not 100. She's not that mad. 

 

We’d brought tomorrow's clothes separately and keep spare toiletries and pyjamas at the in-laws. This was so we didn’t need to open our cases. Are we mad? Of course I needed to open my case for some now forgotten reason. Off comes the yellow strap, off comes the blue lycra cover, undo the straining zip, and stuff spills out onto the floor. Will I ever get it back together again?

 

Eventually we get to bed. I have multiple alarms set as we have an early start tomorrow for our flights to America but that’s another story…

And we're not even close to boarding yet lol Love it.

[arxcards]

A long trip ahead, but underway on that magical block of sea days.

 

[joejoe 59]

Loving following along on your trip What a great adventure.  I look forward to reading more😄

[arxcards]

Maybe an update tomorrow?

[Relaxing Robbies]

13 hours ago, arxcards said:

Maybe an update tomorrow?

Hopefully, with a few Hawaiian ports coming up. Ship internet is woeful in the middle of the Pacific, with few satellites pointed in that direction other than Hawaii.

[arxcards]

They are in Honolulu today -  or is that yesterday?

[Sparky74]

13 minutes ago, arxcards said:

They are in Honolulu today -  or is that yesterday?

Yes. We have docked in Honolulu. It’s 9:45 Monday morning here. 

[Sparky74]

Part 5

Our First Day in the USA

 

Having landed at SeaTac Airport and collected our luggage, our handler, I mean our wheel chair pusher asked us where to take us. I had read online about how great the light rail network is but as we had cases to manage and with DW's mobility issues I’d decided against this option. Besides our accommodation was quite a distance from the network and we would have had to get a taxi or Uber from the station to the Motel. 

 

I had almost prebooked a private transfer thinking that it might be a nice to be treated to a little luxury when travel weary but in hindsight I’m glad I didn’t considering that we ended up arriving a day later than scheduled. We didn’t have the Uber or Lyft app set up so we grabbed a cab. 

 

Before leaving home I had typed a comprehensive itinerary which included all of our booking and confirmation numbers, addresses, etc. So I had the address of our motel at hand to tell the taxi driver and off we go. 

 

Part way through my ride I discovered my hat was missing! It’s a black derby style hat made by Akubra which I’ve had for about 12 years. It has served me well, keeping off sun and rain and it features in holiday photos taken all over the world: from China and Hong Kong to the UK and Europe. I must have left it in the overhead bin on the plane! Oh well, I remind myself not to stress over things outside my control. What’s done is done. I see little sense in returning to the airport to try and find it. DW just sighs and shakes her head. Then, in the darkness in the back of the taxi I find my black hat. Rejoice! Kill the fatted calf. That which was lost, albeit for about 60 seconds, has been found. That noise I hear is just DW rolling her eyes. She thinks I’m mad. 

 

The taxi seems to be zooming along at great speed. It seems much faster than the 70-75 I can see displayed on the speedo from my seat in the back of the cab. It’s only towards the end of the trip that the penny drops. This is the USA. This country stubbornly refuses to adopt the metric system. We’re not travelling at 70-75 kilometres per hour but rather 70-75 MILES per hour. No wonder it felt like we were zooming along. Is the taxi driver mad?

 

I had struggled to find an "affordable" hotel in Seattle online and ended up booking something which appeared to be just a LITTLE out of the way on the map, a Travelodge in a location described as "North of Downtown". Upon arrival the manager, Dorothea, snapped that checkin wasn’t until 3pm but when I explained that we had a room booked the previous night she was able to give us a key. 

 

The "Travelodge by Wyndham Seattle North of Downtown" is a motel, not a hotel. It was probably a nice motel 40 or 50 years ago but it’s pretty tired and in Australia it would be rated 1.5-2 stars. And the room had a distinct odour which one got used to after about 10 minutes. The neighbourhood isn’t great; the appartments across the street are boarded up and covered with graffiti. Unfortunately I had not only booked it for our fist two nights (one of which we’d spent in Vancouver) but also the three nights between the Alaskan and transpacific cruises. And it was non-refundable. We decide that we will stay here for tonight (are we mad?) but will look for something better for when we return to Seattle from Alaska even though we’ve done our dough. 

 

We decide to go shopping as we need to purchase some RATs. It’s a requirement to return a negative COVID test prior to the cruise and we have an appointment for 9am tomorrow morning to have our test witnessed and certified online via Zoom. Remember that, it’s going to significant later in the story. We have an appointment for our test at 9am on Saturday. 

 

There is a Target a few kilometres away and Uber seems the best way to travel. I had the app on my phone from previous travels but I left my phone with our locums in Australia. 

 

When we were in Vancouver I had asked DW for her phone as the SIM I'd purchased was good for USA (including Alaska and Hawaii), Mexico, and Canada. DW insisted that her iphone didn’t have a SIM and I was incredulous. We both tend to be firm in our convictions, especially when we have a difference of opinion. Comparisons to mules could be drawn. However, I’ve learnt that I’m less that infallible so I try to remember to keep my own counsel when DW insists that I’m in error. Anyway, she hands over her phone and I locate a tiny hole into which I insert the tool provided with the new SIM and, hey presto! Out pops a little plastic tray holing a miniature SIM. DW admonishes me not to lose her SIM. What? You mean this SIM that mere seconds ago you told me didn’t exist? OK. I said that in my head, not out loud. Exactly how mad do you think I am?

 

Back to our crummy motel room in Seattle and I’ve downloaded the Uber app but I’m struggling to set it up. It’s having trouble verifying our new temporary phone number. I use the online chat feature and suspect that I’m having a text conversation with a bot. I think a real person takes over as the COMPLEX nature of the issue and my growing frustration becomes apparent. Maybe I’m not mad, maybe I just have a COMPLEX.

 

Sometimes I hate technology! Maybe I should have stayed home with my Model T Ford and my pianola rolls! Eventually we get the Uber app sorted but when I try to link my fee free Citibank card, the bank wants me to phone them to verify. I’ve had enough by this stage and as our Westpac card is already in the system and good to go we'll just use that and pay the fees. I don’t need the stress.

 

As much as I consider myself a Luddite, I do like Uber. Put in your destination and the app does the rest. It contacts a driver, sends them right to you, you jump in and then when you arrive you jump out and the app automatically charges your credit card for the trip. Simples! I believe that companies like Uber and Lyft are poised to transition to driverless cars and that one day in the not too distant future instead of owning a car that spends most of its life parked, most people will just summon a car when they need one.

 

The Target shopping complex is a bit run down like the rest of this neighbourhood but we manage to buy our RATs as well as a few other bits and bobs including some "candy" to try. When we travel we like to try the local lollies, things that aren’t available back home in Australia. For some reason we can’t seem to be able to lose weight. Are we mad?

 

We leave Target and take our life in our hands as we cross a multi lane road of cars all driving on the wrong side. OK, it wasn’t that bad as we found traffic lights and waited for the green man, but still! The "mall" across the road from Target was closed for major renovations, although most of the businesses on the perimeter were still open. Across the "parking lot" is a restaurant called "Stanford's" which advertises American Cuisine so we head there for lunch. There’s going to be a bit of a wait for a table so I leave DW  sitting in the lobby while I walk down to the Lite Rail station. 

 

Over the years we’ve travelled to various places and so me have Miki Cards from Melbourne, Opal Cards from Sydney, Go Cards from Brisbane, Octopus Cards from Hong Kong… We now add Orca Cards from Seattle to our collection. 

 

I hoof it back to Stanford’s to find that Cathryn has been seated and is perusing the menu. OH MY GOODNESS! THE PRICES! We rarely eat out at home but when we do  I comment: "Well, it just shows you what great value a cruise is." And this will be my mantra during the land portion of our holidays. 

 

Suitably sustained, we walk down to the lite rail station, DW's dodgy ankle not withstanding. When we arrived at the motel she'd ditched the moon boot in favour of a jogger that matches the one she had on her left foot. She’d carried this spare shoe in her hand luggage all tge way from Coffs Harbour. 

 

We caught the train into town and found the Pike Place Market. We were quite travel weary by this time and perhaps didn’t appreciate the market as much as we might have had we been fresher but we pressed on. I’m a firm believer that the best way to combat jet lag is to work to the clock and ignore what your body says. If the clock says it’s lunchtime, eat lunch. If it says it’s time to get up, then get up. And what ever you do don’t take a nap! Don’t go to bed until the the clock says that it’s sleepy time. You may think I’m mad but I remain firm in my conviction.

 

The Pike Place Market is a bustling vibrant place and some of the shops are what I would describe as "quite alternative" but you must remember that I’m rather conservative in my tastes. There are several stalls outside selling beautiful bunches of flowers for $20, $15, and even $10! I resist the temptation as we sail on the Eurodam tomorrow. I love flowers and if I ever win Gold Lotto (which I won’t because we don’t buy tickets!) I’d have fresh flowers in the house all the time. DW, however has no appreciation or flowers and can’t see the point in spending money on something that "is just going to die." Whenever she says this I. Remind her that she too is in that category!

 

We're tired, we’re hot, we’re thirsty. We find somewhere to sit and I head off to find something for us to drink. I search the stalls in. the heaving mass of humanity which is the Pike Place Market but alas, my search is fruitless. I end up across the road and eschewing the energy rink, choose two unfamiliar cans from a glass doored fridge. They are "flavored carbonated water". One is blood orange and the other is raspberry. They cost how much?! I repeat my mantra. Upon return to DW we crack open the cans and take a sip. Eww! That tastes nasty! I look closely at the cans and discover it "contains no THC". WHAT! I've heard of people drinking "pots" of beer before but this takes the hashish cake.  I can’t believe that I purchased marijuana drinks!

 

Pushing them to the side I head off again I search for an alternative. They’re a stall selling apple cider slushies and after confirming it they he lady that they’re nonalcoholic, I purchase two. They’re almost as dear as those dopey drinks I'd bought across the road but I take a deep breath, repress my Scottish blood and repeat my mantra under my breath as I tap my card. 

 

Whilst I’ve been gallivanting in search of hydration, DW has been perusing the Pike Place Market newspaper she picked up. She has discovered that we are within spitting distance of Seattle's Gum Wall. 

 

No one is quite sure exactly who, when, or even why but at some stage someone stuck a piece of used chewing gum on a wall outside a theatre near one of the lower levels of Pike Place Market. Somebody else followed suit and nobody cleared away this discussing refuse. Over time more wads of masticated gum of every imaginable hue were deposited and as the wall became covered it gained iconic status. It is now listed in guidebooks, well on websites at any rate; I’m not sure that guidebooks still exist. You’d be mad to call it an "attraction" but like many others we go for a look, we take a selfie being careful not to get too close least we make physical contact. It probably harbours 56 varieties of COVID as well as Monkey Pox. The next global pandemic could well be brewing here. Apparently many tourists add to the deposits. Are they mad?

 

Although it feels much later, our watches tell us that it’s only mid afternoon. The Sun is still high in the sky and sleepy time is still many hours away. We consult the map app on the iPhone to discover which bus to catch and tap on with our Orca cards to travel to Seattle's premier attraction. 

 

Built for the 1962 World's Fair, the Space Needle is to Seattle what the Eiffel Tower is to Paris. By the time we leave Seattle for the second time, on our transpacific cruise, we will have amassed hundreds, if not thousands, of photos of this iconic landmark: the Space Needle from a distance, the Space Needle up close, selfies of us with the Space Needle in the background, the Space Needle from a Puget Sound harbour cruise, the Space Needle from the Big Wheel, the Space Needle from a cruise ship, the Space Needle at sunset… DW is a scrapbooker although these days she does it digitally using Photoshop and then has a hardcover photo book professionally printed. It’s great to have such a beautiful record of each trip we do but her and FIL tend to form a paparazzi. I think we end up with enough photos of the Space Needle to be able to complete an entire album on that subject alone. Is she mad?

 

We pay for double entry tickets so we can view the city now, in daylight, and ride the elevator again, later, to see the city at night. We take our time and read the displays as we walk along the entryway. It’s interesting to learn that this edifice was constructed in a relatively short period of time, from conception to completion. It’s become so iconic that when locals were shown a photo of Seattle’s skyline with the Space Needle digitally removed the vast majority could not identify their home town. Are they mad? Although usually painted a whitish color (note the American spelling as much as it pains me) to celebrate it’s 60th anniversary they have reverted to the Space Needle's original livery and the top of the dome is resplendent in a shade of bright orange which was futuristically dubbed "Galaxy Gold". I think they were mad back in '62!

 

Having viewed the city from atop this impressive structure we descend and seek a place to rest our weary bones. We also need to satisfy the inner man, although I’m sure such an expression is no longer acceptable, especially in Seattle. Here many restrooms are not gender specific, rainbow symbols abound, and the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community is celebrated. 

 

DW chooses a hotdog from one of the food carts but I’m tempted by corn on the cob. The vendor pulls back the husk (which then serves as a handle) to reveal row after row of steaming hot yellow kernels. The cone is then thrust into a container of butter and emerges dripping with deliciousness. I have the opportunity to add various spices by I eschew these in favour of the natural sweetness of the corn complimented by simple butter. Perhaps I’m mad but I’m moved to compose an "Ode to Sweet Corn":

 

Sweet Corn you are a wonder food!

No matter how I chew

I know I'll see you again with "joy";

You seem to pass straight through. 

For years I've struggled with my weight

But now I’ve found a new diet;

The fat will melt if I eat nothing but corn,

When I go home I must try it. 

 

OK, I’ll admit it’s not as good as the one I wrote about the Coral Princess to be sung to the tune of the Teddy Bears' Picnic. But I really am surprised that no one yet has hit upon the idea of sweet corn as a weight loss strategy. Seriously! I’m convinced that I derive absolutely no nutritional benefit from this vegetable as it appears to pass through my digestive system unchanged. Am I mad?

 

By this stage DW's ankle is aching. She’s still recovering from grossly inflamed tendons and we’ve done a considerable amount of walking today. So whilst she remains sitting on a bench I venture off to explore. A short distance away, just past the monorail station, another remnant of the 1962 World's Fair, I discover a building called the Armoury. Amongst other things it houses a food court. This was to prove valuable knowledge later in our trip. 

 

At this time of the afternoon, many of the vendors were shutting down for the day but I spied a shop selling cheesecake. Now cheesecake is DW's favourite dessert. I've always said that I don’t have a sweet tooth, I have 32 of them! Recent visits to the dentist have forced me to modify that number to 30 and I have an appointment for another extraction after this holiday is over. This getting older business isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! Am I mad or am I not?

 

I’m spoilt for choice when it comes to the varieties of mini cheesecakes on offer. "I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure!" is an oft repeated but apt quotation. Fortunately the proprietor has anticipated people who suffer from this affliction and has prepared boxes containing a quarter of each of their four most popular varieties. I purchase two of these and make my way back to DW. To clarify these were mini cheesecakes, individual servings. I did not buy the equivalent of two family sized cheesecakes for us to consume. I’m not that mad. 

 

We perused the Space Needle gift shop where  we purchased a T shirt, a fridge magnet, and a teaspoon. I'll save an explanation of our souvenir choices for a later instalment. 

 

As the shadows slowly begin to lengthen we use the second entry portion of our ticket to once again ascend the Space Needle. We make our way to the portion of the Needle which revolves. Various refreshments are available here and some time has elapsed since we enjoyed our cheesecake so I decided to purchase a hot chocolate for each of us. I must say that it was the worst hot chocolate I have ever tasted. I don’t think it contained anything "herbal" or "medicinal". It just tasted nasty but we drank it anyway. Are we mad?

 

Slowly the light faded and we were treated to a view of Seattle at night. Weary, we once again consulted the iPhone to find our way back to our crummy motel. DW's phone says we have completed 16,294 steps. Are we mad? No wonder her ankle is aching! It's 9:15pm and we don our pajamas, bush our teeth, and climb into bed, oblivious to the near disaster we would face the next morning…

[Cbtours]

17 minutes ago, Sparky74 said:

Part 5

Our First Day in the USA

 

Having landed at SeaTac Airport and collected our luggage, our handler, I mean our wheel chair pusher asked us where to take us. I had read online about how great the light rail network is but as we had cases to manage and with DW's mobility issues I’d decided against this option. Besides our accommodation was quite a distance from the network and we would have had to get a taxi or Uber from the station to the Motel. 

 

I had almost prebooked a private transfer thinking that it might be a nice to be treated to a little luxury when travel weary but in hindsight I’m glad I didn’t considering that we ended up arriving a day later than scheduled. We didn’t have the Uber or Lyft app set up so we grabbed a cab. 

 

Before leaving home I had typed a comprehensive itinerary which included all of our booking and confirmation numbers, addresses, etc. So I had the address of our motel at hand to tell the taxi driver and off we go. 

 

Part way through my ride I discovered my hat was missing! It’s a black derby style hat made by Akubra which I’ve had for about 12 years. It has served me well, keeping off sun and rain and it features in holiday photos taken all over the world: from China and Hong Kong to the UK and Europe. I must have left it in the overhead bin on the plane! Oh well, I remind myself not to stress over things outside my control. What’s done is done. I see little sense in returning to the airport to try and find it. DW just sighs and shakes her head. Then, in the darkness in the back of the taxi I find my black hat. Rejoice! Kill the fatted calf. That which was lost, albeit for about 60 seconds, has been found. That noise I hear is just DW rolling her eyes. She thinks I’m mad. 

 

The taxi seems to be zooming along at great speed. It seems much faster than the 70-75 I can see displayed on the speedo from my seat in the back of the cab. It’s only towards the end of the trip that the penny drops. This is the USA. This country stubbornly refuses to adopt the metric system. We’re not travelling at 70-75 kilometres per hour but rather 70-75 MILES per hour. No wonder it felt like we were zooming along. Is the taxi driver mad?

 

I had struggled to find an "affordable" hotel in Seattle online and ended up booking something which appeared to be just a LITTLE out of the way on the map, a Travelodge in a location described as "North of Downtown". Upon arrival the manager, Dorothea, snapped that checkin wasn’t until 3pm but when I explained that we had a room booked the previous night she was able to give us a key. 

 

The "Travelodge by Wyndham Seattle North of Downtown" is a motel, not a hotel. It was probably a nice motel 40 or 50 years ago but it’s pretty tired and in Australia it would be rated 1.5-2 stars. And the room had a distinct odour which one got used to after about 10 minutes. The neighbourhood isn’t great; the appartments across the street are boarded up and covered with graffiti. Unfortunately I had not only booked it for our fist two nights (one of which we’d spent in Vancouver) but also the three nights between the Alaskan and transpacific cruises. And it was non-refundable. We decide that we will stay here for tonight (are we mad?) but will look for something better for when we return to Seattle from Alaska even though we’ve done our dough. 

 

We decide to go shopping as we need to purchase some RATs. It’s a requirement to return a negative COVID test prior to the cruise and we have an appointment for 9am tomorrow morning to have our test witnessed and certified online via Zoom. Remember that, it’s going to significant later in the story. We have an appointment for our test at 9am on Saturday. 

 

There is a Target a few kilometres away and Uber seems the best way to travel. I had the app on my phone from previous travels but I left my phone with our locums in Australia. 

 

When we were in Vancouver I had asked DW for her phone as the SIM I'd purchased was good for USA (including Alaska and Hawaii), Mexico, and Canada. DW insisted that her iphone didn’t have a SIM and I was incredulous. We both tend to be firm in our convictions, especially when we have a difference of opinion. Comparisons to mules could be drawn. However, I’ve learnt that I’m less that infallible so I try to remember to keep my own counsel when DW insists that I’m in error. Anyway, she hands over her phone and I locate a tiny hole into which I insert the tool provided with the new SIM and, hey presto! Out pops a little plastic tray holing a miniature SIM. DW admonishes me not to lose her SIM. What? You mean this SIM that mere seconds ago you told me didn’t exist? OK. I said that in my head, not out loud. Exactly how mad do you think I am?

 

Back to our crummy motel room in Seattle and I’ve downloaded the Uber app but I’m struggling to set it up. It’s having trouble verifying our new temporary phone number. I use the online chat feature and suspect that I’m having a text conversation with a bot. I think a real person takes over as the COMPLEX nature of the issue and my growing frustration becomes apparent. Maybe I’m not mad, maybe I just have a COMPLEX.

 

Sometimes I hate technology! Maybe I should have stayed home with my Model T Ford and my pianola rolls! Eventually we get the Uber app sorted but when I try to link my fee free Citibank card, the bank wants me to phone them to verify. I’ve had enough by this stage and as our Westpac card is already in the system and good to go we'll just use that and pay the fees. I don’t need the stress.

 

As much as I consider myself a Luddite, I do like Uber. Put in your destination and the app does the rest. It contacts a driver, sends them right to you, you jump in and then when you arrive you jump out and the app automatically charges your credit card for the trip. Simples! I believe that companies like Uber and Lyft are poised to transition to driverless cars and that one day in the not too distant future instead of owning a car that spends most of its life parked, most people will just summon a car when they need one.

 

The Target shopping complex is a bit run down like the rest of this neighbourhood but we manage to buy our RATs as well as a few other bits and bobs including some "candy" to try. When we travel we like to try the local lollies, things that aren’t available back home in Australia. For some reason we can’t seem to be able to lose weight. Are we mad?

 

We leave Target and take our life in our hands as we cross a multi lane road of cars all driving on the wrong side. OK, it wasn’t that bad as we found traffic lights and waited for the green man, but still! The "mall" across the road from Target was closed for major renovations, although most of the businesses on the perimeter were still open. Across the "parking lot" is a restaurant called "Stanford's" which advertises American Cuisine so we head there for lunch. There’s going to be a bit of a wait for a table so I leave DW  sitting in the lobby while I walk down to the Lite Rail station. 

 

Over the years we’ve travelled to various places and so me have Miki Cards from Melbourne, Opal Cards from Sydney, Go Cards from Brisbane, Octopus Cards from Hong Kong… We now add Orca Cards from Seattle to our collection. 

 

I hoof it back to Stanford’s to find that Cathryn has been seated and is perusing the menu. OH MY GOODNESS! THE PRICES! We rarely eat out at home but when we do  I comment: "Well, it just shows you what great value a cruise is." And this will be my mantra during the land portion of our holidays. 

 

Suitably sustained, we walk down to the lite rail station, DW's dodgy ankle not withstanding. When we arrived at the motel she'd ditched the moon boot in favour of a jogger that matches the one she had on her left foot. She’d carried this spare shoe in her hand luggage all tge way from Coffs Harbour. 

 

We caught the train into town and found the Pike Place Market. We were quite travel weary by this time and perhaps didn’t appreciate the market as much as we might have had we been fresher but we pressed on. I’m a firm believer that the best way to combat jet lag is to work to the clock and ignore what your body says. If the clock says it’s lunchtime, eat lunch. If it says it’s time to get up, then get up. And what ever you do don’t take a nap! Don’t go to bed until the the clock says that it’s sleepy time. You may think I’m mad but I remain firm in my conviction.

 

The Pike Place Market is a bustling vibrant place and some of the shops are what I would describe as "quite alternative" but you must remember that I’m rather conservative in my tastes. There are several stalls outside selling beautiful bunches of flowers for $20, $15, and even $10! I resist the temptation as we sail on the Eurodam tomorrow. I love flowers and if I ever win Gold Lotto (which I won’t because we don’t buy tickets!) I’d have fresh flowers in the house all the time. DW, however has no appreciation or flowers and can’t see the point in spending money on something that "is just going to die." Whenever she says this I. Remind her that she too is in that category!

 

We're tired, we’re hot, we’re thirsty. We find somewhere to sit and I head off to find something for us to drink. I search the stalls in. the heaving mass of humanity which is the Pike Place Market but alas, my search is fruitless. I end up across the road and eschewing the energy rink, choose two unfamiliar cans from a glass doored fridge. They are "flavored carbonated water". One is blood orange and the other is raspberry. They cost how much?! I repeat my mantra. Upon return to DW we crack open the cans and take a sip. Eww! That tastes nasty! I look closely at the cans and discover it "contains no THC". WHAT! I've heard of people drinking "pots" of beer before but this takes the hashish cake.  I can’t believe that I purchased marijuana drinks!

 

Pushing them to the side I head off again I search for an alternative. They’re a stall selling apple cider slushies and after confirming it they he lady that they’re nonalcoholic, I purchase two. They’re almost as dear as those dopey drinks I'd bought across the road but I take a deep breath, repress my Scottish blood and repeat my mantra under my breath as I tap my card. 

 

Whilst I’ve been gallivanting in search of hydration, DW has been perusing the Pike Place Market newspaper she picked up. She has discovered that we are within spitting distance of Seattle's Gum Wall. 

 

No one is quite sure exactly who, when, or even why but at some stage someone stuck a piece of used chewing gum on a wall outside a theatre near one of the lower levels of Pike Place Market. Somebody else followed suit and nobody cleared away this discussing refuse. Over time more wads of masticated gum of every imaginable hue were deposited and as the wall became covered it gained iconic status. It is now listed in guidebooks, well on websites at any rate; I’m not sure that guidebooks still exist. You’d be mad to call it an "attraction" but like many others we go for a look, we take a selfie being careful not to get too close least we make physical contact. It probably harbours 56 varieties of COVID as well as Monkey Pox. The next global pandemic could well be brewing here. Apparently many tourists add to the deposits. Are they mad?

 

Although it feels much later, our watches tell us that it’s only mid afternoon. The Sun is still high in the sky and sleepy time is still many hours away. We consult the map app on the iPhone to discover which bus to catch and tap on with our Orca cards to travel to Seattle's premier attraction. 

 

Built for the 1962 World's Fair, the Space Needle is to Seattle what the Eiffel Tower is to Paris. By the time we leave Seattle for the second time, on our transpacific cruise, we will have amassed hundreds, if not thousands, of photos of this iconic landmark: the Space Needle from a distance, the Space Needle up close, selfies of us with the Space Needle in the background, the Space Needle from a Puget Sound harbour cruise, the Space Needle from the Big Wheel, the Space Needle from a cruise ship, the Space Needle at sunset… DW is a scrapbooker although these days she does it digitally using Photoshop and then has a hardcover photo book professionally printed. It’s great to have such a beautiful record of each trip we do but her and FIL tend to form a paparazzi. I think we end up with enough photos of the Space Needle to be able to complete an entire album on that subject alone. Is she mad?

 

We pay for double entry tickets so we can view the city now, in daylight, and ride the elevator again, later, to see the city at night. We take our time and read the displays as we walk along the entryway. It’s interesting to learn that this edifice was constructed in a relatively short period of time, from conception to completion. It’s become so iconic that when locals were shown a photo of Seattle’s skyline with the Space Needle digitally removed the vast majority could not identify their home town. Are they mad? Although usually painted a whitish color (note the American spelling as much as it pains me) to celebrate it’s 60th anniversary they have reverted to the Space Needle's original livery and the top of the dome is resplendent in a shade of bright orange which was futuristically dubbed "Galaxy Gold". I think they were mad back in '62!

 

Having viewed the city from atop this impressive structure we descend and seek a place to rest our weary bones. We also need to satisfy the inner man, although I’m sure such an expression is no longer acceptable, especially in Seattle. Here many restrooms are not gender specific, rainbow symbols abound, and the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community is celebrated. 

 

DW chooses a hotdog from one of the food carts but I’m tempted by corn on the cob. The vendor pulls back the husk (which then serves as a handle) to reveal row after row of steaming hot yellow kernels. The cone is then thrust into a container of butter and emerges dripping with deliciousness. I have the opportunity to add various spices by I eschew these in favour of the natural sweetness of the corn complimented by simple butter. Perhaps I’m mad but I’m moved to compose an "Ode to Sweet Corn":

 

Sweet Corn you are a wonder food!

No matter how I chew

I know I'll see you again with "joy";

You seem to pass straight through. 

For years I've struggled with my weight

But now I’ve found a new diet;

The fat will melt if I eat nothing but corn,

When I go home I must try it. 

 

OK, I’ll admit it’s not as good as the one I wrote about the Coral Princess to be sung to the tune of the Teddy Bears' Picnic. But I really am surprised that no one yet has hit upon the idea of sweet corn as a weight loss strategy. Seriously! I’m convinced that I derive absolutely no nutritional benefit from this vegetable as it appears to pass through my digestive system unchanged. Am I mad?

 

By this stage DW's ankle is aching. She’s still recovering from grossly inflamed tendons and we’ve done a considerable amount of walking today. So whilst she remains sitting on a bench I venture off to explore. A short distance away, just past the monorail station, another remnant of the 1962 World's Fair, I discover a building called the Armoury. Amongst other things it houses a food court. This was to prove valuable knowledge later in our trip. 

 

At this time of the afternoon, many of the vendors were shutting down for the day but I spied a shop selling cheesecake. Now cheesecake is DW's favourite dessert. I've always said that I don’t have a sweet tooth, I have 32 of them! Recent visits to the dentist have forced me to modify that number to 30 and I have an appointment for another extraction after this holiday is over. This getting older business isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! Am I mad or am I not?

 

I’m spoilt for choice when it comes to the varieties of mini cheesecakes on offer. "I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure!" is an oft repeated but apt quotation. Fortunately the proprietor has anticipated people who suffer from this affliction and has prepared boxes containing a quarter of each of their four most popular varieties. I purchase two of these and make my way back to DW. To clarify these were mini cheesecakes, individual servings. I did not buy the equivalent of two family sized cheesecakes for us to consume. I’m not that mad. 

 

We perused the Space Needle gift shop where  we purchased a T shirt, a fridge magnet, and a teaspoon. I'll save an explanation of our souvenir choices for a later instalment. 

 

As the shadows slowly begin to lengthen we use the second entry portion of our ticket to once again ascend the Space Needle. We make our way to the portion of the Needle which revolves. Various refreshments are available here and some time has elapsed since we enjoyed our cheesecake so I decided to purchase a hot chocolate for each of us. I must say that it was the worst hot chocolate I have ever tasted. I don’t think it contained anything "herbal" or "medicinal". It just tasted nasty but we drank it anyway. Are we mad?

 

Slowly the light faded and we were treated to a view of Seattle at night. Weary, we once again consulted the iPhone to find our way back to our crummy motel. DW's phone says we have completed 16,294 steps. Are we mad? No wonder her ankle is aching! It's 9:15pm and we don our pajamas, bush our teeth, and climb into bed, oblivious to the near disaster we would face the next morning…

Oh my gosh Mark & Cathryn! You’re are certainly intrepid travellers! Loving the trip report even if your antics would scare the heck out of me 😂😂😂😂. Can’t wait for the next instalment.

[arxcards]

Love it! Has me thinking about our first day in the US. Landing in LAX, I thought the plane had been diverted to Mexico.

 

Wow, what a culinary excursion of Seattle. When in doubt in the US, look for a Denny's. Now that you are in Honolulu today, are you heading to Hooters for lunch? Apparently it is a theme restaurant for owl lovers.

 

I hope your next hotel is better. There is an equally dingy Travelodge within walking distance of the Space Needle, Chihuly Gardens and MoPop. The first time we stayed in Seattle it was in a modern multi-story concrete hotel, but for our return 4 years later, the prices had shot through the roof, so ended up there for a night. Seattle has become an expensive city.

[NSWP]

Another Classic Mark. So remember never book a hotel anywhere without checking Tripadvisor ! Onwards !

[cruiser3775]

Thanks for this much anticipated episode.  Your travel style is wonderful.

I completely agree with your recipe for overcoming jet lag by forcing yourself to eat and sleep at the same time as the locals. Works for me too.

 

[joejoe 59]

Loved this part of your adventures I look forward to more.

[Sparky74]

Part 6

Sleepless in Seattle

 

I’m not a good sleeper although I can fall asleep quite easily in front of the TV. If I manage to drop off I usually do OK until the early hours of the morning. I always say that I sleep better at sea than anywhere else but if I have a daytime nap then all bets are off. 

 

When we returned from the Space Needle we were both quite tired. We’d travelled from Australia with all of those delayed flights and missed connections and had a few short hours of decent sleep in Vancouver. DW had slept on the plane but I’d only really dozed. When we hit the sack in Seattle it’s only 2pm back home. 

 

Several hours later at about 2am I’m wide awake and itchy. No, it’s not bedbugs but allergy hives. I’ve suffered with them since childhood and could write a history of antihistamines in Australia since about 1980 from personal experience. I’ve been taking Loratadine (aka Claratyne) as required for many years now and had popped one when brushing my teeth as my skin was crawling as I’d prepared for bed but it had not had the desired effect. 

 

After tossing and turning for a while I get up and find my iPad and AirPods but the wifi in this dump isn’t working. I manage to connect to DW's phone but I’m still itchy. 

 

When we cruise I pack an extra toilet bag filled to bursting with various medications and ointments, categorised and separated into ziplock bags. Am I mad? I locate the antihistamine bag and decide to take 10mg of Phernergan. It usually doesn’t make me drowsy. When we flew to London in 2015, 25mg didn’t help me sleep on the plane. On the return trip I took 50mg which still had no effect. 

 

Before I crawled back into bed I retrieved a couple of clothes pegs from my hand luggage to close the gap in the curtains in the hope that blocking the light may make slumber less evasive. You may think I’m mad to have clothes pegs in my hand luggage but I plan to do some C2C (corner to corner) crochet on the cruises and they'll keep my yarn tidy. 

 

The Phernergan must have kicked in because I'm sound asleep when DW awakes in the still darkened room. The phone charger cord obscures the digital clock and she can see that the time is something 35. Maybe it’s 6:35am? Nope! It’s 9:35am. That’s a problem because we had an appointment to have our COVID test witnessed and certified online at 9am and we need that in order to board the ship!

 

I would like to say that I dealt with the situation in a calm manner but in truth I was probably more like Corporal Jones from Dad's Army, running around in a flap exclaiming, "Don’t panic, everyone! DON'T PANIC!"

 

Upon checking my email I had several reminders from  OnPoint about the appointment and a final one telling me we’d missed the appointment. I used DW's phone to call OnPoint and explained the situation and the lady I spoke to was very good. She reassured me that everything would be OK and after checking with a supervisor was able to email a new link for a Zoom meeting, and even waited on the phone to confirm that the link worked. 

 

The chap from OnPoint on the Zoom call was also professional. He is not at all concerned that we’re sitting on the bed in our pajamas, our hair askew, and DW's pendulous breasts are not constrained by a brassiere. 

 

After checking that we had our RAT kits he carefully observed us shoving the swabs so far up our noses that DW had a sneezing fit. He then made sure we each diluted our specimens in the plastic vials and placed no more and no less than three drops of the solution into the plastic cassettes. With bated breath we wait and we each see and display via the iPad camera only one line on our tests. 

 

Congratulations! No, we’re not pregnant but we don’t have COVID either. The man from OnPoint immediately emails us the required certificates. All we have to do now is shower, dress, repack our bags, and summon an Uber to take us to the terminal. We may be mad but the crisis has been averted and we’re almost on our way. 

 

[MMDown Under]

43 minutes ago, Sparky74 said:

Part 6

Sleepless in Seattle

 

I’m not a good sleeper although I can fall asleep quite easily in front of the TV. If I manage to drop off I usually do OK until the early hours of the morning. I always say that I sleep better at sea than anywhere else but if I have a daytime nap then all bets are off. 

 

When we returned from the Space Needle we were both quite tired. We’d travelled from Australia with all of those delayed flights and missed connections and had a few short hours of decent sleep in Vancouver. DW had slept on the plane but I’d only really dozed. When we hit the sack in Seattle it’s only 2pm back home. 

 

Several hours later at about 2am I’m wide awake and itchy. No, it’s not bedbugs but allergy hives. I’ve suffered with them since childhood and could write a history of antihistamines in Australia since about 1980 from personal experience. I’ve been taking Loratadine (aka Claratyne) as required for many years now and had popped one when brushing my teeth as my skin was crawling as I’d prepared for bed but it had not had the desired effect. 

 

After tossing and turning for a while I get up and find my iPad and AirPods but the wifi in this dump isn’t working. I manage to connect to DW's phone but I’m still itchy. 

 

When we cruise I pack an extra toilet bag filled to bursting with various medications and ointments, categorised and separated into ziplock bags. Am I mad? I locate the antihistamine bag and decide to take 10mg of Phernergan. It usually doesn’t make me drowsy. When we flew to London in 2015, 25mg didn’t help me sleep on the plane. On the return trip I took 50mg which still had no effect. 

 

Before I crawled back into bed I retrieved a couple of clothes pegs from my hand luggage to close the gap in the curtains in the hope that blocking the light may make slumber less evasive. You may think I’m mad to have clothes pegs in my hand luggage but I plan to do some C2C (corner to corner) crochet on the cruises and they'll keep my yarn tidy. 

 

The Phernergan must have kicked in because I'm sound asleep when DW awakes in the still darkened room. The phone charger cord obscures the digital clock and she can see that the time is something 35. Maybe it’s 6:35am? Nope! It’s 9:35am. That’s a problem because we had an appointment to have our COVID test witnessed and certified online at 9am and we need that in order to board the ship!

 

I would like to say that I dealt with the situation in a calm manner but in truth I was probably more like Corporal Jones from Dad's Army, running around in a flap exclaiming, "Don’t panic, everyone! DON'T PANIC!"

 

Upon checking my email I had several reminders from  OnPoint about the appointment and a final one telling me we’d missed the appointment. I used DW's phone to call OnPoint and explained the situation and the lady I spoke to was very good. She reassured me that everything would be OK and after checking with a supervisor was able to email a new link for a Zoom meeting, and even waited on the phone to confirm that the link worked. 

 

The chap from OnPoint on the Zoom call was also professional. He is not at all concerned that we’re sitting on the bed in our pajamas, our hair askew, and DW's pendulous breasts are not constrained by a brassiere. 

 

After checking that we had our RAT kits he carefully observed us shoving the swabs so far up our noses that DW had a sneezing fit. He then made sure we each diluted our specimens in the plastic vials and placed no more and no less than three drops of the solution into the plastic cassettes. With bated breath we wait and we each see and display via the iPad camera only one line on our tests. 

 

Congratulations! No, we’re not pregnant but we don’t have COVID either. The man from OnPoint immediately emails us the required certificates. All we have to do now is shower, dress, repack our bags, and summon an Uber to take us to the terminal. We may be mad but the crisis has been averted and we’re almost on our way. 

 

I'm so enjoying your travels.  Thank you for taking the time to share your travel experiences.  I recall saying on my first trip overseas with a family of four, that travel wasn't for the elderly.  

[Cbtours]

3 hours ago, Sparky74 said:

Part 6

Sleepless in Seattle

 

I’m not a good sleeper although I can fall asleep quite easily in front of the TV. If I manage to drop off I usually do OK until the early hours of the morning. I always say that I sleep better at sea than anywhere else but if I have a daytime nap then all bets are off. 

 

When we returned from the Space Needle we were both quite tired. We’d travelled from Australia with all of those delayed flights and missed connections and had a few short hours of decent sleep in Vancouver. DW had slept on the plane but I’d only really dozed. When we hit the sack in Seattle it’s only 2pm back home. 

 

Several hours later at about 2am I’m wide awake and itchy. No, it’s not bedbugs but allergy hives. I’ve suffered with them since childhood and could write a history of antihistamines in Australia since about 1980 from personal experience. I’ve been taking Loratadine (aka Claratyne) as required for many years now and had popped one when brushing my teeth as my skin was crawling as I’d prepared for bed but it had not had the desired effect. 

 

After tossing and turning for a while I get up and find my iPad and AirPods but the wifi in this dump isn’t working. I manage to connect to DW's phone but I’m still itchy. 

 

When we cruise I pack an extra toilet bag filled to bursting with various medications and ointments, categorised and separated into ziplock bags. Am I mad? I locate the antihistamine bag and decide to take 10mg of Phernergan. It usually doesn’t make me drowsy. When we flew to London in 2015, 25mg didn’t help me sleep on the plane. On the return trip I took 50mg which still had no effect. 

 

Before I crawled back into bed I retrieved a couple of clothes pegs from my hand luggage to close the gap in the curtains in the hope that blocking the light may make slumber less evasive. You may think I’m mad to have clothes pegs in my hand luggage but I plan to do some C2C (corner to corner) crochet on the cruises and they'll keep my yarn tidy. 

 

The Phernergan must have kicked in because I'm sound asleep when DW awakes in the still darkened room. The phone charger cord obscures the digital clock and she can see that the time is something 35. Maybe it’s 6:35am? Nope! It’s 9:35am. That’s a problem because we had an appointment to have our COVID test witnessed and certified online at 9am and we need that in order to board the ship!

 

I would like to say that I dealt with the situation in a calm manner but in truth I was probably more like Corporal Jones from Dad's Army, running around in a flap exclaiming, "Don’t panic, everyone! DON'T PANIC!"

 

Upon checking my email I had several reminders from  OnPoint about the appointment and a final one telling me we’d missed the appointment. I used DW's phone to call OnPoint and explained the situation and the lady I spoke to was very good. She reassured me that everything would be OK and after checking with a supervisor was able to email a new link for a Zoom meeting, and even waited on the phone to confirm that the link worked. 

 

The chap from OnPoint on the Zoom call was also professional. He is not at all concerned that we’re sitting on the bed in our pajamas, our hair askew, and DW's pendulous breasts are not constrained by a brassiere. 

 

After checking that we had our RAT kits he carefully observed us shoving the swabs so far up our noses that DW had a sneezing fit. He then made sure we each diluted our specimens in the plastic vials and placed no more and no less than three drops of the solution into the plastic cassettes. With bated breath we wait and we each see and display via the iPad camera only one line on our tests. 

 

Congratulations! No, we’re not pregnant but we don’t have COVID either. The man from OnPoint immediately emails us the required certificates. All we have to do now is shower, dress, repack our bags, and summon an Uber to take us to the terminal. We may be mad but the crisis has been averted and we’re almost on our way. 

 

This is by far more entertaining than any tv show lol Love it.

[joejoe 59]

On 9/14/2022 at 11:56 AM, Cbtours said:

This is by far more entertaining than any tv show lol Love it.

I agree with you. I'm sad that was only a short read.

[Sparky74]

16 hours ago, joejoe 59 said:

I agree with you. I'm sad that was only a short read.

Hang in there. There’s more to come…

[buchhalm]

I've come to the conclusion that you like the word "mad"! 🙂

[arxcards]

2 minutes ago, buchhalm said:

I've come to the conclusion that you like the word "mad"! 🙂

I am waiting for a stark raving mad or an absolutely bonkers moment.

[Cbtours]

10 minutes ago, arxcards said:

I am waiting for a stark raving mad or an absolutely bonkers moment.

I’m sure it won’t be too far away 😂

[OzKiwiJJ]

I'm loving your not-quite-live reports Mark.

 

We have progressed from softsided bag for our medical kit to a solid container, with a clip-on lid. That way the various meds and stuff don't get squashed or jumbled up. It's worked very well. 

[Sparky74]

4 hours ago, buchhalm said:

I've come to the conclusion that you like the word "mad"! 🙂

Well, the title of the report is, Are We Mad?

Months ago I posted asking if we were mad to consider this itinerary. 
 

We are at Maui today, I’ve probably got about another 7 hours until we lose Internet and we mightn’t get any again for two weeks. I'll try to post a couple more episodes before it drops out. 😁

[MMDown Under]

12 minutes ago, Sparky74 said:

Well, the title of the report is, Are We Mad?

Months ago I posted asking if we were mad to consider this itinerary. 
 

We are at Maui today, I’ve probably got about another 7 hours until we lose Internet and we mightn’t get any again for two weeks. I'll try to post a couple more episodes before it drops out. 😁

Maui is one of those places I wish I was there.  We always did a stopover in Hawaii. I love the people, the music and the perfume of the frangipanis.  Used to feel like I was home in the tropics.  How is the weather?