"Not Live" from the Maasdam with Tomc

[sail7seas]

Great reports,Tom. Really enjoying them. Thanks for sharing. :)

 

Makes me feel like we're back aboard our beloved Maasdam.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Funny how we notice the day of the week elevator mats and think it fun. I hate to think if the 'change the mat' person forgets to do so one day. :D

 

 

 

We didn't notice them on Eurodam. Anyone remember of Eurodam has them?

 

 

On both the Veendam and Westerdam -- couple of days not all the Elevator mats were changed -- confused a few people who rode one elevator -- saw one day -- then rode another elevator and a different day of the week was listed.

[sail7seas]

Yes, of course.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Great reading Tom -- am enjoying your report!!

[mamaofami]

On both the Veendam and Westerdam -- couple of days not all the Elevator mats were changed -- confused a few people who rode one elevator -- saw one day -- then rode another elevator and a different day of the week was listed.

 

Frankly, when I'm on vacation, I would rather not know what day of the week it is. But, I can certainly understand that people would be confused if all the elevator mats were not showing the same day of the week. Would make me wonder if I had a bit too much sun. Or, if maybe it was time to throw in the towel!:eek:

[tomc]

REVIEW #7, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

Steve Lowenthal is the piano bar musician. He's a good guy, very friendly and knows his stuff. You can stop him in the corridor and he will happily chat, calling you by name. I dropped in one evening and he was interacting quite well with the patrons there. His job is, of course, to keep the cash register ringing, and he does just that: the chatter keeps the patrons happy and sitting there, which means they want more alcohol.

 

There is a Ukranian piano and two violin trio. I spoke with some of the other musicians and they had the same feeling as I did: really good musicians, great technicians, but they don't know anything about music. That sounds like a contradiction, but let me give you the first clue I picked up on.

 

One of their music sheets said, "Chopin ... Waltz"; they told me the name of the piece was "Waltz." Another, which I knew, but couldn't remember the name (so I asked them about it), was a Scott Joplin rag. They said the title was "Ragtime"; I said that was the style, not the topic. (I know every piece Joplin wrote and not one of them is named "Ragtime.")

 

They have a good "book" for working a cruise ship, but don't realize the sheets just indicate the style of music. I don't think they get it, but as musicians, they should. Maybe there are schools over there which turn out people who perform very well, but have no understanding of what they are playing. At any rate, they are good at what they do; just don't ask them what it is they are doing.

[tomc]

REVIEW #8, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

The Repeaters' Party came along on the sea day (after PEI, before Quebec City).

 

All but 200 are repeaters. Six are b2b'ers. Three Club HAL kids. 800 wheelchairs, walkers and/or gurneys with I.V. drips on stands. 920 people on oxygen. Nearly everyone speaks highly of President Roosevelt -- President TEDDY Roosevelt. Actually, although the age is up there, it's a lively bunch.

 

Well, the first three are true: Number of repeaters, b2b'ers and Club HALs. I didn't see the third Club HAL kid, but the other two are sisters, "tweens," as they are known or, as tween boys might call them, "one with and one without."

 

Not much whale watching in the river; at least, not here. The Minke whales, smallest of the ilk, don't do the humpback thing with the out-of-water experience and tails flipping. They just come slightly below the surface, blow off air and water, then disappear. Not terribly exciting -- unless you are swimming and are directly over one. But we did see a lot of blow-offs in two different areas, so there must have been a pod of whales in each place.

 

Today, as I indicated, is a sea day, much to the chagrin of the women who thought this ship's name was the Shopdam. I might add, and this is no joke, the onboard shop had a sign which says something like, "Do your tours onshore and buy your souvenirs on the ship." That's not exact, but close enough. I'm sure the local shop owners would be quite upset to know about this.

 

Bad enough we run over the lobster fishermen's buoys ("Oops, sorry; did we just ruin your livelihood?"), but now we're messing with the local shops' incomes. Next thing you'll hear will be: bong Bong BONG "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today, we dock in Sydney, where the economy is at its usual low point. To make up for our 'Tour There, Buy Here' slogan, we will be tossing coins to the locals one half-hour before departure. It's a jolly good fun way to get rid of your spare change."

[MightyQuinn]

Tomc - your tales are hilarious. Thanks for the endorphin rush! :D:D

[tomc]

REVIEW #9, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

For those who don't realize the variety of people you can meet with AYWD, I relate to you this short, but possibly interesting, bit of intercourse I had with someone at my table.

 

Intercourse: / 15th century / exchange, especially of thoughts.

 

I was chatting one night and it turns out the gent was a former pilot for United Airlines. So far, so good. Then it turns out he was also a pilot for the Berlin Airlift, which got us going for a few minutes about that particular action of the war. Quite an interesting guy.

 

Speaking of intercourse, I was having some, the same type as above, with an entertainer, a nice young woman, in the Lido after the late show. I've been chatting with the musicians and entertainers, either during lunch or the late-night buffet (which seems to really be the entertainers' supper). Anyway, this one gal is a great audience: If I'm pretending to be saying something serious, but time the punch line just as she gets a mouthful of coffee, it nearly ends up on the table.

 

And speaking of cute girls, PEI is where "Anne of Green Gables" lived and the current Anne is this cutie who meets us at the dock in the former potato warehouse, now a growing vendors' paradise, when we get off the ship. She's not as unbearably cute as last time I was here, but I think that one aged out. You can pretend to be that young only so long, then you start to look strange.

 

Anyway, the shed we used to walk through on our way to the various little businesses near the dock, as well as taxis, double-deckers and walking tours is all cleaned up and no longer smells like the potato warehouse it was. Pity; I rather liked the smell and the dusty ambience in there. They've swept it clean and about 1/3, more or less, is home to vendors. I hope they never fancy it up.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Frankly, when I'm on vacation, I would rather not know what day of the week it is. But, I can certainly understand that people would be confused if all the elevator mats were not showing the same day of the week. Would make me wonder if I had a bit too much sun. Or, if maybe it was time to throw in the towel!:eek:

 

Or maybe one had imbidded too much.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Great reading Tom.

You are brightening up my morning after not being able to get on here yesterday.

[grannynurse]

Thanks Tom,

The daffodil "got watered" reading this last set of posts, as she went wee wee wee all the way home.

GN

[tomc]

REVIEW #10, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

And then there were the entertainers.

 

I did not see them all, nor did I stay for all of the acts. You know how that goes.

 

In first place, the John Denver Tribute Show with, Jim Curry. Excellent performer, along with his flutist, whose name is, I think, Diane Ireland. I'm not particularly a John Denver fan, but this fellow had me there from opening to closing. He worked alone, with Diane and with the band (such as it was). Don't miss him if he is on your cruise. There was a tv movie about John and Jim provided the music.

 

In second place, the comedian Max somebody. (I have some business cards, don't have others.) He was pretty good, somewhat on the NY edgy side, but people liked his stuff -- when and if they got it. They didn't always.

 

In ?? place was some magician whose act I left when I came in and he was doing the requisite audience-participation card trick. That gets old real fast. Then he did a straight-jacket escape; pity, he got out. Others may find him quite funny and clever, and I will gladly give them space here; it's just that I didn't.

 

Fourth place was a comedian who worked with an audience on the edge of a coma. He seemed better than what I saw and possibly throwing a grenade into the seats might have woken up the pax. Perhaps not. I was going to put a mirror under their noses to see if they were still breathing. He had to work hard and I think if he worked faster, it would have gone over better; he just had too many pauses. I can't think of his name, but Brady or some such sounds right.

 

I understand he spent the entire trip in his cabin with the "Privacy Please" tag in his door. I never saw him anywhere on the ship.

 

I did not go to the Maasdam singers & dancers, so I can't comment on them.

 

The band: At least one, Chad Gales, the sax man, was excellent and we chatted about music later in the evening. Some of the others seem doomed to play cruise ships forever. The days of Rotterdam V and the bands of those days seem to be long gone. Guitars, bass, synthesizer, drums and piano have taken the place of brass. A great loss.

 

I think that's everyone; s7s can remind me of anyone I missed.

[CrystalLady]

Tom - you are an absolute joy to read. I'm not a regular reader/contributor here - mostly lurk, if at all - but your travelogues attract me like a magnet.

 

Glad you enjoyed your b2b's.

[dvdfreakmc]

Absolute Riot! I'm laughing so hard, I have to go wee wee.

[tomc]

REVIEW #11, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

We stopped in the twin cities of Kweebec and Kehbec, both of which look amazingly similar and are filled with shops which are all owned by the Ouvert company -- at least, the ones that are open.

 

Shopkeepers are required to speak English, as well as their native Lumberjack French, which causes Parisians to barf up their patisseries all over the table of my aunt upon which lies the pen of my uncle. (In French: Le table de ma oncle avec la chatte de ma tante.)

 

Anyway, they don't speak English. Or they say they don't -- in perfect English: "I'm very sorry, sir, but I have never mastered the art of speaking any language but my own. After all, you folks in the States which are United refuse to speak any language but English." And then they go into their native nasally speech, which is aided by putting a clothespin on your nose.

 

"Madam, je parle seulement un tres peu de francais et mauvais, aussi." ("Ma'am, I speak only a very little french and badly, also.") At which she said, "Tres bon," and out she comes carrying a pig with an apple in its mouth. "Your ordair, m'sewer." We have, obviously, had a miscommunication of sorts. I tell the manager, "Je ne desire pas le couchon" ("I don't want the pig") and he tells the woman I want her to leave. Things went downhill fast.

 

Anyway, what I really wanted to mention was my brother (in French, "browthair") lives three towns back on the other side of the river. Since I was doing a b2b, I was able to see him on Friday and Sunday. We basically just hung out together both days, walked around Q City, did nothing. They were two nice visits; it's good when you don't have to entertain someone, don't have to go anywhere, see anything -- just hang.

 

On Day 6, heading up the St L River, I stayed outside as much as possible, because I really like the peace & quiet of the river. I grew up on the water and tend to watch the buoys and the range lights (those are the two green lights you see which are not lined up until the ship is correctly positioned to go into a curve).

 

Maybe 90 minutes or two hours out is the guy who plays the national anthems of the ship and the U.S., plus raising the flags. You don't notice it inside, but you sure do out on the deck. It's a hobby for him and his wife; I assume there are no neighbors to hear this blaring music everytime a ship goes by.

[RuthC]

We stopped in the twin cities of Kweebec and Kehbec, both of which look amazingly similar and are filled with shops which are all owned by the Ouvert company -- at least, the ones that are open.

My first big guffaw of the day. And it took until 5:00 PM! :eek:

Worth waiting for---this was good. :D

[tomc]

REVIEW #12, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

Sleeping and showering with the guy in my cabin.

 

I always book a Single Share, accepting whatever cabin HAL gives me and whoever they toss into the cage. So it's always an adventure when I walk in the cabin door and see who it's going to be this time.

 

Maybe as much as 40% of the time, I've lucked out and had the cabin to myself. Thus it was this time, on both parts of my b2b. All the closets, the entire bed, all to myself; the bathroom anytime I wanted it. I could shower with my best friend --ok, alone-- (who I don't really like to see as naked as a jaybird in the mirror ... but age does take its toll and at least I don't have my glasses on).

[ger_77]

Anyway, what I really wanted to mention was my brother (in French, "browthair")

 

OMG, you're killing me - you just reminded me of a new parish priest we had a few years ago who called the congregation his "browthairs and seestairs". He told everyone he had come to us "fresh from Moanrayall, Kehbec". We still lapse into fits of giggles (although DH will tell you he never giggles) whenever we hear "Moanrayall".

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[bob brown]

REVIEW #11, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

 

 

On Day 6, heading up the St L River, I stayed outside as much as possible, because I really like the peace & quiet of the river. I grew up on the water and tend to watch the buoys and the range lights (those are the two green lights you see which are not lined up until the ship is correctly positioned to go into a curve).

 

Maybe 90 minutes or two hours out is the guy who plays the national anthems of the ship and the U.S., plus raising the flags. You don't notice it inside, but you sure do out on the deck. It's a hobby for him and his wife; I assume there are no neighbors to hear this blaring music everytime a ship goes by.

Tom, I always enjoy reading your reviews. Last year on my Fort Lauderdale to Montreal repo cruise on the Maasdam, I was enjoying the peace of the river from the topmost observation deck and was startled by this blast of music from the shore. Do you know anymore about these people and the story behind their hobby?

[tomc]

The fellow and his wife keep a sharp lookout for ships going up and down the river, especially for their nationality.

 

At hand are flags for each country and tape casettes with their anthems. I don't need to mention the bank of loudspeakers aimed toward the water.

 

When they see a ship, they raise the proper flag, pull the right tape and let loose. I don't know what happens with freighters, but cruise ships typically get the country of registration (with HAL, the Netherlands) and the Star Spangled Banner, as most of the pax would be US citizens.

 

Sometimes, the HAL bridge officer will give a couple of toots in reply.

 

I taped a show on The Travel Channel about the St Lawrence River islands and it showed them. My brother also sent me a newspaper article about the couple.

[bob brown]

That's very interesting. I wonder if The Travel Channel will air it again? And if you have any links to that newpaper story (in English, I hope!);)

Thanks.

[seafun]

Why a veteranarian? Because we've got some SICK PUPPIES in here!!! :D

Enjoying the sick and twisted humor. I'll keep checking back...

[tomc]

...if you have any links to that newpaper story (in English, I hope!)

No, I don't. And I can't remember if he sent the actual clipping, or if he attached it to a message. It was a while ago, last year or very early this year. A lot of baked Alaskas have been served since then (a better expression than, "a lot of water has gone over the dam / under the bridge").

[tomc]

REVIEW #13, "Not Live from the Maasdam."

 

Speaking of entertainers, as I was up at Review #10, for better or worse, The Indonesian dining room and cabin stewards put on their show to what seemed like a full house.

 

They do a good job, with the usual Indonesian songs and dances, ensemble and solo. It hasn't varied very much in the last whole bunch of years, but I like seeing it and it's good to support their efforts. They like doing it, also, and I make sure to mention it the next day.

 

My cabin steward was the evil monkey god, or monkey devil. Or just an evil monkey with a pretty evil-looking face. I'd hate to enter my cabin and find that making my bed. Although, if the truth be known, I've dated worse.

 

Speaking of entertainers...

In both Sydney and Bar Harbor, btw, I did my part to bolster the economy by purchasing a few compact discs of local musicians and their equally local traditional music. It's good to have people selling them who can talk with you about the recordings and the people who made them. Sometimes, the person behind the counter is the musician.

 

In Bar Harbor, there's an operatic-themed dining establishment of sorts, where some such shows play in the background. Trumpets sound, tenors and sopranos sing and I really could not imagine listening to that all day. But the internet is as cheap as I am and since I was thrice a classical music radio announcer, onct on the Metropolitan Opera Network (pahdon me), I handled it well.

 

Did I tell you that Ebeneezer Scrooge discovered this island? The boat landed outside, where we hang anchor, and he said, "Bah! Hahbah!"

 

I guess you had to be there.