Dad Passed Away :( Still going...

[NKsDogWalker]

My father passed away at age 66. It is difficult for all of us but we decided to still go on the cruise we planned for Christmas. Since I am here in Florida right now my mother, sister and I are going to sit down and decide what we need to do.

 

Our cruise is December 22nd to December 27 leaving from Tampa. We have 2 cabins right now but we are thinking it might be best to upgrade to a suite or something that will be easy for 3 adults to move around. It all depends on what is available.

 

Any suggestions on what to say to the RC travel agent?

 

Dad was so looking forward to this cruise.... but he would want us to go on.

[Merion_Mom]

My father passed away at age 66. It is difficult for all of us but we decided to still go on the cruise we planned for Christmas. Since I am here in Florida right now my mother, sister and I are going to sit down and decide what we need to do.

 

Our cruise is December 22nd to December 27 leaving from Tampa. We have 2 cabins right now but we are thinking it might be best to upgrade to a suite or something that will be easy for 3 adults to move around. It all depends on what is available.

 

Any suggestions on what to say to the RC travel agent?

 

Dad was so looking forward to this cruise.... but he would want us to go on.

 

We did the same thing when my father passed away. There was no question in our minds that he would have wanted it this way.

 

So, you have decided to cruise on the Jewel out of Tampa?

 

Three of you would be fine in a D cabin, but a JS will give you more space. It depends on how well you get along, and what your budget is. You will find a big price jump from D to JS. (on that cruise, specifically, $675 total more)

[2theship]

Simply tell the agent what you told us here. That person can give you the best assitance. It might be less expensive to have two cabins that to take a suite, only they can offer you the best advice.

 

My most sincere condolences on your loss.

[Esmerelda]

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My father passed 8 years ago. I still miss him everyday. Sadly enough, he never cruised. I had begged him to go and he was almost ready to give in but then he passed very suddenly.

 

I'm sure your father would have wanted you to go and enjoy yourself. Even though he's not physically there with you, he's certainly there in spirit and in your heart.

 

Blessings for a wonderful cruise if you decide to go....

:)

[newbiecruiser09]

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I would "run the numbers" to see if it is better to 1) go down to 3 in a room, 2) upgrade to a suite 3) keep the 2 rooms and bring along a 4th. We are on the sailing after you and our prices have gone up and up from when we booked. Our cabin is now >$200 more than we are paying and the lowest interior is more than we are paying for a balcony.

 

Also consider if whether being all together around Christmas will be good or not so good for you all. It will probably be very tough without your dad. Are you a "gather all around" bunch or more "I need some alone space" bunch? For my family, we would need a little more breathing room so 2 rooms would be for us.

 

I would just tell the rep that you need to change the reservation configuration once you decide what to do. You are well outside final so should not have any problems changing/cancelling/rebooking.

 

Whatever you decide, have a great cruise.

[How'sBartCruisin'?]

My deepest sympathies. Between 2007 and 2010, we lost my dad and mom. Both from cancer, both in their mid-50s. It's not fun. However you decide to work your cruise, it will be an amazing mental and emotional escape for you and your family.

[celebrity]

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are paying tribute to your Dad by living life to it's fullest. Your Dad will be with you in spirit and I'm certain you will feel his prescence on board. My Dad joined us on our second cruise which was my two son's first cruise. I have a beautiful picture of all of us on deck at sunset just before dinner on formal night. The photo is proudly displayed in my living room and makes me smile every time I look at it. My Dad was a big Jimmy Buffet fan so whenever the band plays "Margaritaville" I look up at the sky and give my Dad a wink.

Cherish those memories of him and have a great cruise.

[knittinggirl]

We're sorry for your loss. We'd suggest a junior suite, or you can try a balcony and inside across from each other. My parents took all of us on a Panama Canal cruise, and they booked a block of four junior suites.

[FLHugh]

I am sorry for you loss. Take the cruise and watch for a Rainbow. My Mom sends me one every cruise..

[critterchick]

My condolences as well. I know that I would want my space if I were in your position, and likely if I were in your mother's position, too, so would keep 2 cabins. But your family dynamic may be different.

[powelweb]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

We lost my dad in 2004 to lung cancer after 6 weeks in hospice (my mom had died in 2001 of the same thing 10 days after she was diagnosed), and I decided that my family needed a vacation for my then 13 month old DD and DH who was a SAHD.

 

Since my dad's sister was so helpful throughout everything, we booked an RFS on the Jewel leaving the next month, and invited her to join us with a guest- she took one of her daughters.

 

While Dad never went on a cruise himself, I felt at peace being with family that I knew meant a great deal to him.

 

Wishing you peace during these difficult days.

[Larry5440]

Our deepest sympathy is sent your way. What ever you decide to do, know that your Dad will be with you in spirit and indeed, look for the rainbow or a sign that he will be sending you. Go on the cruise and celebrate your Dad's life.

[jpr1908]

So sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation. Dad had given me an early Christmas gift -a trip to Europe. He passed on the 8th of December; I guess he "knew". It was difficult, but I went on the trip anyway.

 

Hugs to you. He was so young.

[cds2423]

I was in the same position as you are now in 1982, my Dad passed suddenly 3 weeks before my first cruise, i had a hard decision to make but my mum, sibs and friends reminded me how happy my dad was for me that i was going on a cruise, so I went. Obviously I thought about him a lot but was still able to enjoy my cruise. Your cruise will be over Xmas, your first without your Dad, i think you've made the right decision to still cruise, the "first" of every occasion will be rough so the change of scenery will help. I would want my alone time if i were you, if that's a possibility, but i also think that your mum's wishes will probably rule. i sailed in the RFS on the Jewel with my sis and 2 friends 3 years ago, it was great and big enough that you can be together but still each have your own space. Good luck.

[DebJ14]

So sorry for your loss. I think it is the right decision to take the cruise. Since 2009 DH and I have lost all of our parents and we have each lost a brother (and a dog and a cat). It really brings things into perspective and we decided we could either get busy living or get busy dying. None of the deceased would have ever wanted us to cancel anything. They all loved cruising. We no longer put off the fun stuff because who knows how long anyone has left. We don't want to have any regrets when our time comes. Our third cruise this year is coming up this weekend.

[wolfcathorse]

if you keep the 2 rooms your mother will be charged 200% (Holiday) as a solo cruiser. That money could go towards a JS for the 3 of you and she'd get the 3rd person rate. Or if you like take the total for the JS and divide by 3 so everyone pays the same.

[Finbar127]

Sorry for your loss. I'm sure that your father would be happy that you decided to go. Doing things he enjoyed is a great way to honor him.

[NKsDogWalker]

Thank you all for you suggestions. Mom, my sister and I talked and I think we are going to try to get a JS. The call will be made tomorrow. Dad had a $100 OB credit and we hope to keep that. I told me mom that if they won't give it to us she should tell them that we will bring the box with his ashes in it. LOL Yeah she laughed... we have been joking about that box since we got it. ;)

[MrFunInTheSun]

My father passed away at age 66. It is difficult for all of us but we decided to still go on the cruise we planned for Christmas. Since I am here in Florida right now my mother, sister and I are going to sit down and decide what we need to do.

 

Our cruise is December 22nd to December 27 leaving from Tampa. We have 2 cabins right now but we are thinking it might be best to upgrade to a suite or something that will be easy for 3 adults to move around. It all depends on what is available.

 

Any suggestions on what to say to the RC travel agent?

 

Dad was so looking forward to this cruise.... but he would want us to go on.

 

My condolences with your dad passing, I can totally relate and understand as I too was in your same shoe's. My dad passed at age 69 the end of March and I too didn't think I was going to cruise at all this year. Back at the time the cruises I had planned for November I said to myself and others close to me, it most likely wasn't going to happen.

 

As time went on and got back to work and back to my home in Florida and back to every day life, I realized my father would not like it if I skipped out cruising this year because he's no longer with us. So I went from thinking I was skipping cruising this year to by the end of the year I'll have been on four!

 

Went on my 2nd solo cruise this past July as a very spur of the moment, planned and decided 9 days before sailing date. Live review below:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1674131

 

Your dad would want you to cruise and so glad that you and your family have decided to press on and continue. My thoughts are with you.

[allie3490]

DH and I took our first cruise about a week after his mom passed away - back in 1999. She was in a car accident and ended up spending about 2 months in the hospital. Had her leg amputated during that time and a week later went into cardiac arrest. She never woke up.

 

We had a beautiful service for her and knew that there was no point in staying home. All DH's siblings advised us to go. Looking back we had a great time but I am still not sure if taking that trip was the best thing to do. There was definetely a cloud over us especially on the last day. It had really started to sink in at that point that we would come home and his mom would not be there.

[msjaxson]

My dad passed suddenly at age 66 as well five years ago ... he was the one who taught me to love cruising ..now every year i cruise with mom just the two of us ..and i certainl know its what he would have wanted... but being on a ship is when i miss him most...

Personally i would take two rooms just for the two bathrooms ....my thoughts are with all of you !!

[burnsie]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard loosing your Dad mine passed 14 yrs ago and I still miss him very much. I used to beg him as a kid when Love Boat started to cruise and he would tell me it wouldn't be like on tv. He was not a beach kind of person. He finally went and loved it, unfortunately I didn't get to cruise with him. He liked fishing so he tried snorkling and loved it. lol

 

I am glad your still going to fo on your cruise. It doesn't matter where you are you will still miss your Dad, what purpose would it serve to cancel the cruise? I bet your Dad would be the first one to want you to go and enjoy yourself.

 

Blessings to you and your family.

[Ren1216]

Robin -- I'm so sorry about your Dad. I wish peace, comfort and strength for you, your sister and mom. The cruise will have difficult and emotional times, no doubt. But the three of you continuing on together will strengthen your bond as you share something special in his memory.

 

My family is scattered about the eastern US. Every other year, a group of about 9-12 of us meet up for a family cruise. My grandma and aunt are now both in their late 80s... naturally, every cruise makes me wonder if this will be their last. We all have an understanding that the tradition will go on even if any of us passes. That's how we all want it. As you said, surely that's how your dad would want it too. Breaking away from the daily grind and spending quality time with Family is so important.

[NorbertsNiece]

Sincere condolences for your loss. I've cruised twice post bereavement. The calmness of the seas and the sunsets brings me closer to acceptance and a peaceful affirmation that all will be ok.

[beachchick]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wanted to mention something that might or might not be helpful. When my dad died suddenly (stroke), my mom decided she could not stand the thought of being at home for Christmas, regardless of whether she would be spending it with any of her family. That first year, she booked herself into two Elderhostel programs that spanned 12/19-1/5 (including their anniversary date). We "kids" sent her with a small present to open each day (a small candle, a bar of her favorite chocolate, a book of crossword puzzles, an ornament, etc.) of her trip, with something a bit special for the anniversary, Christmas, and New Year's day. (Aside: It was my wonderful hubby's idea.) She said that going on that trip was the best thing she could have done and that having the presents to brighten each day made the whole trip special and allowed her to celebrate instead of wallow (her words).

 

I do suggest that you switch to a two-bedroom suite if you can because you'll probably all want to have more together time and may not want your mom to feel isolated in a cabin alone with the thought that your dad should be there too. With that kind of suite, you can have privacy as well as communal areas. If your mom needs extra emotional support, you'll be right there, and you will all have a nice space where you can retreat and relax. I would tell the TA exactly what you've told us and see what he or she can do for you. You may fell like you're playing the "sympathy" or "pity" card, but in this case, you are not. You have had a shock and a terrible loss.

 

I hope you are all able to have a memorable time knowing your dad will be with you in spirit.

 

beachchick