DH has passed and I want to run away for Xmas...

[hal lover]

Hello to all. I have not posted in a long while. My DH had been sick and in and out of hospital's and such for the last six months. He has passed away, so going solo (which I have done 3 times) seems to be my option. There is a long cruise that goes out of FLL on Dec 18 and returns a few days after the New Year. I'm thinking of booking it. Any suggestions?

 

BTW, I refuse to decorate for the holiday's this year and my family lives far away and I really do not want to go through the whole routine of the holiday this year.

[sail7seas]

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences.

You will know best when you are ready to sail again. We're all different and I find I am not yet able to return to HAL though I sailed NCL with friends this summer.

 

I hope you find some peace in your happy memories.

[SS Exeter]

Dear HL:

I am so sorry for your loss. You are probably emotionally exhausted - and need to be your own caregiver right now.

My first husband passed away after a long battle and after he passed - I was drained. I didn't much care what the rest of my life would be. Lucky for me, some old, great friends made me move to Florida - where I was able to build a new life that has turned out better than I ever thought it could be.

But - if at the time I'd thought of going on a long cruise, alone, that would have been wonderful. You can be alone when you want/need to be, and you can see/meet/talk to people when you want to. I don't know who you are at all, but I think a long cruise sounds like a good way to start healing.

We never forget - but it does get easier. Hugs to you.

[Lizzie68]

My condolences. I certainly understand how you feel about not decorating for Christmas and I think getting away on a cruise is a great idea. I would book it.

[MsSteinrunner]

Have you been reading the roll call for the ship on Cruise Critic? That might give you an idea of your travel companions.

 

I, too, face my first Christmas as a widow, and I am not sure I would want to be on a ship loaded with family groups. However, that is just me.

 

I would be looking (as you are) at a longer cruise on one of the smaller ships.

 

I admire you for advance planning; I am trying to ignore the whole idea of holidays.

[cb at sea]

I wouldn't want to do that, either....but I have no desire to vacation alone...anytime. Even a girlfriend would be welcome. Someone, anyone to "share" the experience with is a must for me.

Edited October 5, 2015 by cb at sea

[sail7seas]

.....

Edited October 6, 2015 by sail7seas

[CowPrincess]

I wouldn't want to do that, either....but I have no desire to vacation alone...anytime. Even a girlfriend would be welcome. Someone, anyone to "share" the experience with is a must for me.

 

This is truly a very unhelpful post. The OP is interested in taking a cruise, is prepared to cruise by herself, and is looking for thoughts. This is IMHO one of those "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" times our parents told us about. What you need or want is not part of this discussion.

[CowPrincess]

Hello to all. I have not posted in a long while. My DH had been sick and in and out of hospital's and such for the last six months. He has passed away, so going solo (which I have done 3 times) seems to be my option. There is a long cruise that goes out of FLL on Dec 18 and returns a few days after the New Year. I'm thinking of booking it. Any suggestions?

 

BTW, I refuse to decorate for the holiday's this year and my family lives far away and I really do not want to go through the whole routine of the holiday this year.

 

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

I understand the trepidation you have about facing "the holidays". My first Christmas alone, I wanted to just hide. Completely ignore the "festivities". I wanted to lick my wounds and just survive until December 26. I got strong-armed into Christmas dinner at a friend's house, but beyond that, I rented videos (that's how long ago it was :eek: ) and stayed in my house. I'd stocked up on favorite foods, and I just survived until December 26, when the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I felt much more capable of re-engaging after Christmas was over.

 

I could not have managed on a cruise ship surrounded by Christmas decorations, Santa, all the excited kids, all the families. Could not have done it. Please think about that -- could you manage with all that around you, seeing it every day? Or would you be better to look for a cruise that leaves just after Christmas, and just hunker down and be good to yourself until you go on the cruise?

 

Just a thought, and all of this is entirely from my personal experience. I'm not saying "don't do it", just be aware of what you might find difficult.

 

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to reach a decision that feels right. A decision that gives you a feeling of safety and "rightness"

[msmayor]

Its certainly a personal decision. I know even now with my family intact I think about how wonderful it would be to just escape the frenzy at home and enjoy the holiday without any work on my part.

 

I think for me it wouldn't be getting away from the holiday completely, it would be getting away from the 'familiar', that which would stir up thoughts that would bring tears and perhaps bring the mood down for my family. Being around 'strangers' on a ship would mean still celebrating the holiday but in a way that was new and fresh. I would have moments to reflect on the past, but I bet others on the ship would embrace a 'single' as part of their family and allow you to experience the holiday through the eyes of others.

 

Time helps the memories move from painful to happy, and perhaps future Christmas holidays won't have the same sting as the 'first' one alone.

[Fouremco]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This must be a very difficult time for you, and I think that planning for a cruise is a very positive step. Do book the cruise, take full advantage of the roll call to introduce yourself to others and make plans to keep yourself busy once on board. I wish you all the best.

[Mr. Boston]

I'm very sorry for your loss hal lover. I think your idea of a solo cruise is a great one. You'll be able to appreciate someone else's holiday decorating work without having to do it yourself at this time. While I can't offer any stateroom tips I can say that DH and I are going to the UK and the south of France to avoid having to do the holiday thing this year for reasons not dissimilar to yours. Whatever decisions you make will be the right ones for you.

[IRL_Joanie]

Hello to all. I have not posted in a long while. My DH had been sick and in and out of hospital's and such for the last six months. He has passed away, so going solo (which I have done 3 times) seems to be my option. There is a long cruise that goes out of FLL on Dec 18 and returns a few days after the New Year. I'm thinking of booking it. Any suggestions?

 

BTW, I refuse to decorate for the holiday's this year and my family lives far away and I really do not want to go through the whole routine of the holiday this year.

Tricia I am so sorry for your loss. I know you are going through hell right now. I am saddened to learn of your hubby's passing and hope that time will ease the loss. I know the pain will never go away, but it does indeed ease the loss. (personal experience)

 

Cruising will, just as SS Exeter said, "....<SNIP>....But - if at the time I'd thought of going on a long cruise, alone, that would have been wonderful. You can be alone when you want/need to be, and you can see/meet/talk to people when you want to. I don't know who you are at all, but I think a long cruise sounds like a good way to start healing....<SNIP>...."

 

I'm at a loss for words and just wish I could be there at your side and give you the biggest hug, just like the one you gave me on the Westerdam:) So, since I cannot be there now, consider yourself CYBER HUGGED my friend!!

 

Joanie

Edited October 6, 2015 by IRL_Joanie

[dobiemom]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[madera1]

Sorry to hear of your loss and believe that a cruise could provide you a good option to experience this first Christmas holiday on your own. Just watching the ocean can be soothing and the cruise can give you some time to do as much/or as little as you want.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[Jameseric]

It is hard to imagine going through what you're experiencing now; blessings upon you and hugs from the Northwest. Last year on the Seine River cruise, there was a bunch from the Road Scholar outfit. Interesting people doing interesting things, some together and some single. But the point is, my impression was the memories of each day were fresh for everyone because EACH person was primarily involved with the group's adventures. I felt welcome even as an outsider.

[ger_77]

I echo everyone's sentiments and add my condolences on the loss of your husband.

 

"Firsts" are always the most difficult, and as this is the first Christmas, you will just want to get through it. I say go for it, take the cruise, and if you don't feel like putting on a happy face and wishing all of your fellow passengers a "Merry Christmas", it is well within the realm of possibilities that you can spend the day in your cabin, catching up on your reading, and ordering room service, just to get through the day. I don't know what I would do in your situation, but I think you've got the right idea, to get away from your normal traditions. Maybe next year you will feel more like celebrating with family and friends.

 

I wish you well, I wish you peace.

 

Smooth Sailing ! :) :)

[happy traveler69]

my condolences go out to you. I pray that you will find comfort and strength in those around you that love and support you.

take care of yourself. be your own friend. enjoy your time with you. your family may be a bit annoyed that you won't be with them, and feel that you should've invited them on the cruise, but so be it. explain to them your reasons. you can't make them accept the reason, but explain the best you can your feelings.

enjoy your trip. big hugs to you during this time!!

[prettyblue2]

Hal lover, my deepest sympathies to you at this most difficult time.

Taking the cruise will be an opportunity for you to be nurtured and pampered by the wonderful HAL crew. Maybe schedule a massage for yourself. And as others have mentioned,it will give you an opportunity for quiet time as well as social time as you see fit.

[Watson's aunt]

Hi

 

Sorry for your loss. I think its a great idea. My Mom and I did this when my Dad died.

If you have a shirt of his bring it with you. This might sound crazy but every night when you return to your cabin tell him every thing you did that day. I believe he is watching over you.

 

Hope you have a wonderful cruise

 

mary

[chefestelle]

I'm so sorry for your loss! I admire your strength and ability to plan through what will be a tough first. I think a cruise is a lovely idea since you already have some experience with cruising solo. I am wondering if your question is more about long or short cruise through the holiday season because it seems you may have decided a cruise is just the thing you need. That will depend on where you are with your personal stages of grief, I think. A longer one might do the trick if you are feeling at peace and want to be away from well meaning others who may want to drag you into all sorts of holiday events to keep your spirits up. On the other hand, if your emotions are quite raw, you will not have an escape if you find that the cruise and festivities just bring back too great a sense of loss. If that's the case, you may want to try a shorter cruise. Either way, if sailing brings you comfort then I say you should just do it. Whatever you decide, may it bring you contentment.

[take us away]

So very sorry for your loss!

 

Fully understand about wanting to have time for yourself to escape the holidays and not wanting to decorate. Recommend you book the cruise! Have several single friends that always cruise over the Christmas holidays for many reasons, most are like you. You will be in good company. The ship will be beautifully decorated, yes there will be families around but it is fun to watch the children, especially when Santa comes, but there will also be people who will basically ignore the holiday if that is your preference. The best part is that you will be treated like a queen, which you so deserve.

 

Once you decide, your roll call will be a great resource to 'meet' other single passengers.

[kazu]

I am so sorry to hear this.

 

I think you are very wise to try to plan for the holidays, especially if you are alone with family away.

 

A cruise sounds like a good escape from everything.

 

With all you have been through, I am sure you must be exhausted.

 

Having someone cook and clean for you seems like a very good idea.

 

I think a cruise may just fit the bill. There are places where you can be alone and lots of places where you can be with people as the mood suits you.

 

Our sincere condolences for your loss and our thoughts are with you.

[casamariposa]

When my father died after a long illness, I took my mother, his devoted caregiver, on her first cruise four months after dad's death. It was a wonderful experience for us both. When many years later, my mom passed away, leaving me very much alone (no siblings, far from where I had lived and worked for all my life), I decided to go on the Prinsendam's Holiday Cruise. I did that because my well-meaning neighbors, who are quite wonderful, kept trying to invite me to every family gathering at Christmas, after feeling like the community "orphan" over Thanksgiving when they invited me, and I attended, two Thanksgiving dinners with their families. Going on the Prinsendam's Holiday Cruise was the right move for me. I met people, like myself, who were alone. More importantly there were a few lovely family groups and it was delightful to see Santa gifting the little ones. Life goes on. My one suggestion, if it's not already in your plan, is to get a nice outside cabin. If you want to break away from the crowd and be by yourself, do it in a nice, sunny cabin. I am sorry for your loss.

[SetAnOpenCourse]

I can't speak specifically as to the holiday cruise, but soon after my dad passed I took my first cruise, with the idea that watching the water would be peaceful and therapeutic for me, and it was. Someone's post mentioned something like not being able to escape cruise festivities - I didn't really understand that, as you have the promenade deck as well as other spots. I like cruises so much because these environments are available.