Funniest Complaints Heard While Cruising

[carolmacey]

Thanks everyone for my laughs for the day! :D I especially love the WDW, kids, dog, story! Made me LOL!

 

I did hear a funny one from a CD. An older lady went to her cabin upon boarding. She looked out her window and saw the port. She went right to guest relations and said in a huff, "I booked an ocean view cabin and all I can see is the port!" :D :rolleyes:

 

Similar story...man reserved a cabin on the port side of the ship, which he got. However, the ship wasn't docked on the port side, but starboard side. Poor GS staff struggled to help the man understand.

[carolmacey]

I recently got married to a lovely woman from Colombia. We are cruising this Sunday and it will be her first cruise. A couple of days ago she asked me will the ship stop at night? Answering no the ship sails constantly till we reach Bermuda, she gave me a startled look and said won't the Captain be tired after steering the ship for 2 days!

That's as bad as the old one,,,"Do the crew go home at night?"

[jlb91454]

A few years ago when I was cruising on the Oasis of the Seas......a lady gets on one of the elevator and says to this other lady "I just can't find that elevator.....I really thought this was the elevator named 'SUNDAY'. (and she was serious). For those are not aware RCCL put the day of week on the elevator floor (SUNDAY, MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, etc.,).

 

I was all I could do to not bust out laughing.

[cdn_tbird]

A few years ago when I was cruising on the Oasis of the Seas......a lady gets on one of the elevator and says to this other lady "I just can't find that elevator.....I really thought this was the elevator named 'SUNDAY'. (and she was serious). For those are not aware RCCL put the day of week on the elevator floor (SUNDAY, MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, etc.,).

 

I was all I could do to not bust out laughing.

Lol. We celebrated my 50th with a cruise on adventure of the seas and my kids loved the fact that they changed the day I'm the carpet and were always wanting to see when the crew did it.

 

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[MicCanberra]

I live in Annapolis and have sailed the Chesapeake Bay for 35 years. Though this didn't happen on a cruise ship, it happened on my sailboat on a trip to St Michaels.

 

We arrived and tied up behind a fishing boat at the fuel dock to fill up on diesel fuel. The fishing boat ahead of us had also just arrived and was planning to gas up. Frank.., a transplanted New Yorker,, who managed the marina greeted the fisherman first. I listened to the conversation that went like this...

 

Frank said ..."Good Afternoon...do you need to fill up?"

The fisherman replied, " Looks like your pump price is $3.25 a gallon.., is that correct?"

Frank nodded his head with a "Yep".

The fisherman went on.." The marina over by the Crab Claw is only $3.05 a gallon"

Frank looked across the harbor first then replied; "Why don't you go over there and fill up?

The fisherman said; "They are out of fuel"

Frank smiled and said; "Oh..well when I'm out of fuel, my price is only $2.95 a gallon"

 

You gotta love New Yorkers :D:D

 

Love it.

This thread is a great read.:D

[J_Busworth]

On Voyager a lady in front of me at Guest Services was complaining that she would miss here whole planned day in Noumea because they rescheduled our arrival to Midnight and she demanded compensation . We were actually arriving 10 hours early and this lady was very embarrassed when told this.

 

 

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[eaglegirl1952]

We were once on a Mexican Riviera cruise. We were doing Anytime-type dining and by chance happened to be seated with the same couple twice, plus once for lunch in the MDR.

 

They spent each meal complaining about the food; how they were 'foodies' and this was inedible, that was over or under cooked, the food was worse than McDonalds, etc.

 

At the last meal we shared (made sure never to eat with them again!) they let slip that they had won the cruise in some kind of contest at their bank. It was a completely free cruise (they also complained about their room and other things) and yet nothing satisfied them.

 

Some people just love complaining. The food was just fine, BTW.

,

 

I was on my first cruise on Sun Princess in 2009 and loved the food, service, choices, everything and couldn't believe overhearing people complaining about the food! All I could think was "where do these people usually eat"!! You're right , some people just love complaining:)

[papcx]

You are so right. Some people shouldn't even leave their neighborhood.

 

 

 

My sister-in-law from a mid-Western state came to visit us in South Carolina. She complained about everything. That the eggs were from a different company, she couldn't find her normal brand of sausage, the bread was different.

 

 

 

I had been very accommodating to ask if the kids had allergies or she wanted any specific items. I went grocery shopping before she got into town and even went a town away hoping to find items that might be more familiar (we had a Kroger in the next town).

 

 

 

When we visited her in her hometown later that year, I remarked to my nephew that we had a fun time with them. He said "We had fun too, but Mommy said she would rather die than come back to your house ever again." You could see her ready to fade into the floor. She was apologizing profusely and saying she didn't know why her son said that. I told her "Kids just repeat what they hear."

 

 

Edited January 8, 2017 by papcx

[Hornet441]

On one of my cruises I was in the buffet for breakfast and there was a tray of Bacon marked "English Bacon". There was an elderly American couple in front of me. The man remarked that it looked good and it was unfair that it was only for English passengers. I replied that it was for everyone and that they should help themselves. The woman said "Oh no We don't want to risk getting into trouble." I sighed as I helped myself to some. The Jamaican man replenishing the sausage links could hardly keep from bursting into laughter. :rolleyes::D

 

Good! I get all the Canadian Bacon. :p

[lollypopj]

On a Princess cruise a woman ordered a crayfish, much like a small lobster for lunch..

 

When the waiter brought it..she exclaimed " OMG..its LOOKING At me, with its tiny black eyes..":eek:

 

He took it back and they cooked a special meal as a substitute..

What a waste of food..

[labatsman]

I love this thread,made me laugh.. I will subscribe.

It is so sad that some guests will complain about everything, food room, service, weather etc... I've never had a bad cruise,when some one cooks cleans and entertains me for a week, I'm happy.

Constant complaints that I hear so much is (whey don't they serve cheeseburgers and fries in the MDR, there's so much foreign food on the menus)

[SuiteTraveler]

Day one of cruise about 2 hours after it began boarding, an elderly lady on a walker in the elevator said:

 

"Well I'm already disappointed in this ship."

and another elevator passenger piped up:

 

"Perhaps you should give it more than just 2 hours."

Edited January 11, 2017 by SuiteTraveler

[RICKnVICK]

I am always amazed at the level of complaining some people do! I consider myself so fortunate to be able to cruise that I am certainly not going to spend my time complaining! Life is too short!

 

so anyway - my funny story :)

 

a few years ago on Royal Caribbean's Navigator I heard a woman in the main dining room at dinner complain that there were not enough croutons on her Caesar salad haha! What made it even better was she was seriously acting like an actual crime had been committed :) they brought her more croutons but she insisted on speaking with the Captain, Head Chef, Maitre d' about the lack of croutons...Seriously hilarious!

 

Vicki

[GUT2407]

On a Princess cruise a woman ordered a crayfish, much like a small lobster for lunch..

 

When the waiter brought it..she exclaimed " OMG..its LOOKING At me, with its tiny black eyes..":eek:

 

He took it back and they cooked a special meal as a substitute..

What a waste of food..

 

Bet it wasn't wasted.

[WupperAV]

I stood in line NY EVE behind a couple who seemed to find the King Crab piled 1 ft deep and 4 ft wide fascinating. They turned over every piece until after 5 min. I said "Well Shirt!" and left out the R. Both jumped and I just turned away and went to my table. Not really sure what they were doing but maybe they never saw King Crab before.

Edited January 12, 2017 by WupperAV

[AussieOmni]

On a Princess cruise a woman ordered a crayfish, much like a small lobster for lunch..

 

 

 

When the waiter brought it..she exclaimed " OMG..its LOOKING At me, with its tiny black eyes..":eek:

 

 

 

He took it back and they cooked a special meal as a substitute..

 

What a waste of food..

 

 

Heaven forbid being confronted by what it is you're actually eating. Ok I'll get off my soap box

 

 

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[Ontariotrekker]

Folks complaining that the stewards are always wiping down the hand rails in the public areas always amuses me.

 

Shar

[SmoothFlying]

With the name Cruise Critic..., its no wonder there are a lot of post about various complaints. But for a change in pace, tell us some of the funniest complaints you may have heard while cruising. I'll start with a couple...

 

On Grandeur of the Seas two years ago, Linda and I went to the Captains Corner on the last sea day at the theater. This is open Q&A between passengers and the ships senior officers, including the Captain. I usually like to attend and listen to the questions, compliments, and occasionally complaints from the passengers. At one point, they handed a mike to a older male passenger, and he directed his complaint to the Hotel Manager. He was very frustrated that many of the deck numbers on the elevator buttons had faded out and he suggested someone repaint them. Though the Hotel Manager tried to keep a straight face while answering, I cracked up watching the Captain failing to do the same. I guess when the chief complaints come down to elevator button numbers, its been a good cruise.

 

Last April, Linda and I were on Celebrity Reflection sailing on a trans Atlantic from Miami to the Western Med. Its an 18 day cruise, the first part is about 8 days crossing the Atlantic before our first port of call at Tenerife. On about day four, I was sitting at the Mast Bar on the top deck reading a book and enjoying another wonderful day at sea, when a woman sitting next to me at the bar complained...."I am so bored!!!.., all these days at Sea. Why can the schedule a stop at the half way point so we can get off the ship for a while? "

My Jamaican bartender that was taking care of us overheard this and had to turn around so no to offend the woman. Later I suggested that RCI build a inflatable island they can deploy in the middle of the Atlantic for just such occasions.

 

One last observation. On Reflection at the rear of the ship is what is known as the Lawn Club. Real grass on both sides of the ship. On each side, tables and chairs are there so you can relax by the grass, and on the port side, you are allowed to smoke cigars or other items. Try to picture this...there is a jogging track on Reflection that does not circle the entire ship. Instead of running to the stern (lawn club) the track cuts across the ship before you reach the lawn area. Still some people insist on running to the the stern of the ship, dogging around passengers and waiters, as well as running by me and a few other cigar smokers. OK...with the scene set, here comes a middle age woman jogger, very smartly dressed in Under Armor jogging attire. Instead of following the track turn she continues past the four of us cigar smokers.... and as she approached started to wave her hands in from of her face, obviously annoyed at our smoke and I guess to prevent her from leaving the cruise with Black Lung Disease. (Now mind you, we are in one of the only two designated smoking areas of the ship ). A while passed and here she comes again, hands waving frantically in from of her face.

I suggested to my other friends we try something to lighten the mood. Sure enough after a few minutes, I spotted her coming down the jogging track and as usual, ran right by the turnoff and headed for us. Just before she reached our position, all four of us started waving our hands in front of our face. It caught her off guard , causing her to hesitate.., then streak past us without waving. A second latter she ran into a bartender with a tray of drinks..., almost causing him to loose the tray on a customer. Well...that was the last lap of this jogger as we never saw her again.

 

OK....lets turn it back to the studio audience :D

 

My wife had to listen to in the casino on our Alaskan cruise in June of 2010 on the Carnival Spirit. My wife was sitting between these two ladies, both appeared to be in their late seventies, and both admitted that since they were both from south Miami. One of the ladies leaned and said to the other (with my wife in the middle) I quote my wife 'I never woulda took this cruise if I'd known it was gonna be THIS cold !! WHY doesn't the Captain DO something about it! It's so darn ( she didn't say darn') COLD I can't even lay out by the pool!' My poor wife was almost turning red to keep a straight face, finally she got up and ran outside to laugh. My wife said, where did they think they were sailing too ?? Belize ?

 

Mac

[mluirette]

At GS on the Carnival Miracle I walked around a very long line to the empty Platinum line because I paid extra for FTTF (one of the obvious perks). When called to the desk, a guest standing a few spots back in the regular line blocked my path and loudly protested that there are people ahead of me, so the staff calmly informed her that I had FTTF. Two other FTTF holders in the regular line overheard this, and immediately realized they could cut too, jumped in the Platinum line as well, and were also helped before her. :) Ah, justice.

[AussieOmni]

My wife had to listen to in the casino on our Alaskan cruise in June of 2010 on the Carnival Spirit. My wife was sitting between these two ladies, both appeared to be in their late seventies, and both admitted that since they were both from south Miami. One of the ladies leaned and said to the other (with my wife in the middle) I quote my wife 'I never woulda took this cruise if I'd known it was gonna be THIS cold !! WHY doesn't the Captain DO something about it! It's so darn ( she didn't say darn') COLD I can't even lay out by the pool!' My poor wife was almost turning red to keep a straight face, finally she got up and ran outside to laugh. My wife said, where did they think they were sailing too ?? Belize ?

 

 

 

Mac

 

 

This appears to be a common complaint on Alaskan cruises

 

 

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[Cro_and_Swan]

I know there can be legitimate health/physical issues that might factor in that I don't know about ... but :confused:

 

I thought it was funny to hear two women gripe to one another about "why do they put the gym on the second floor (i guess meaning second up from the spa/locker rooms) ... I hate having to climb all these da**ed stairs" ... and then ... wait for it .... walk STRAIGHT to the stair climber machines and get on and start stepping!?!?!?! :eek::D

[cruiseonthebrain]

No cruise related but still fits within the spirit of the thread.

 

About 10 years ago just before the kids, we took one last couples trip to WDW.

it was in early December right after thanksgiving.

Anyway, we were on the monorail from our hotel to EPCOT and an older couple sitting in the same monorail car with us.

 

The husband loudly starts telling his wife how mad he is that "THERE ARE TOO MANY G-D DAM KIDS HERE" He looks at us as if we were going to agree with him.

 

So, I said" what did you expect its Disney, not Vegas!!!" he says, maybe true, but we spent a lot of money to come here... his wife turns around and tells him to "SHUT THE HELL UP, FOR FORTY YEARS NOTHING IS EVERY GOOD ENOUGH, its no wonder why the dog ran away!!!"

 

This is hilarious!!!

[Anthomaniac]

On all three of our cruises we have heard complaints about the wind on the upper decks. People, if you are at the top of a ten story building AND it's moving, there's going to be wind.

 

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[lollypopj]

I also saw a doctor complain about lemon slices..

 

He threw a tantrum..saying 'I want wedges..not slices, do you call these wedges" berating the poor waiter..:mad:

Most Canadians wouldn't do this.We are more polite..

 

His wife was a calm ,sweet, ladylike person..Trying to calm him down several times a day..

 

On formal night, during the dancing we were upstairs near an elevator, helping staff drop balloons ..

 

The same man came out of the elevator, shook his head in disgust at the folks dancing, got back in ,and went off to bed..

[Gwendy]

I also saw a doctor complain about lemon slices..

 

He threw a tantrum..saying 'I want wedges..not slices, do you call these wedges" berating the poor waiter..:mad:

Most Canadians wouldn't do this.We are more polite..

 

His wife was a calm ,sweet, ladylike person..Trying to calm him down several times a day..

 

On formal night, during the dancing we were upstairs near an elevator, helping staff drop balloons ..

 

The same man came out of the elevator, shook his head in disgust at the folks dancing, got back in ,and went off to bed..

Now I remember why I am divorced. Lol