Funniest Complaints Heard While Cruising

[Tudorcruisers]

My husband asked an elderly lady one morning at the breakfast buffet if she was enjoying the cruise. Her answer was that she didn't like the way they had the same thing every morning for breakfast. Given that you can get just about anything and the choice is amazing we just couldn't believe she was complaining about this. Love this thread.

[crazy4tweety]

These stories made me smile

 

I will share one we were sitting at a large table and a lady husband order for her when her escargot came she said what is this he said it is a French delicacy you will love it . Someone else at the table told her it was snail she said please pass the salt and she salted the heck out of it and someone said you like salt she said if I'm going to eat snail I'm going to make sure the darn thing is dead and I heard salt will kill them.

[packercruising]

These stories made me smile

 

I will share one we were sitting at a large table and a lady husband order for her when her escargot came she said what is this he said it is a French delicacy you will love it . Someone else at the table told her it was snail she said please pass the salt and she salted the heck out of it and someone said you like salt she said if I'm going to eat snail I'm going to make sure the darn thing is dead and I heard salt will kill them.

 

That has to be in the running for the funniest.:D

[stealthy]

The woman went ballistic and said her children were going to starve as their was no McDonalds or hot dogs on the ship:eek:

 

 

 

Some people should just never leave home:rolleyes:

 

 

Lol. So true. They should really stay home and eat all the crap that want.

 

Can't stand American fast food chains period.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Originally Posted by Doug R.

On one of my cruises I was in the buffet for breakfast and there was a tray of Bacon marked "English Bacon". There was an elderly American couple in front of me. The man remarked that it looked good and it was unfair that it was only for English passengers. I replied that it was for everyone and that they should help themselves. The woman said "Oh no We don't want to risk getting into trouble." I sighed as I helped myself to some. The Jamaican man replenishing the sausage links could hardly keep from bursting into laughter.

Good! I get all the Canadian Bacon. :p

So I guess the streaky bacon is only for the people who run through the dining room naked? :D

 

(And do I even want to know who gets the back bacon?)

[Canugess]

So I guess the streaky bacon is only for the people who run through the dining room naked? :D

 

(And do I even want to know who gets the back bacon?)

Haha, this make me laugh. Back bacon is lovely. Streaky bacon is the cheap stuff here. Found it quite odd that that is all that seems to be available when we visited America couple of years ago.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Haha, this make me laugh. Back bacon is lovely. Streaky bacon is the cheap stuff here. Found it quite odd that that is all that seems to be available when we visited America couple of years ago.

Unless I'm wrong about "back bacon," something very much like it is widely available in the US; but you have to steal it from Hornet and his ilk: it's what Americans call "Canadian Bacon."

 

(I have no idea about the "English bacon" the OP mentioned, unless it has something to do with Sir Francis.)

[opcasey]

DH and I were assigned to a table for 4 in the MDR, with another couple. On the first night, they order pistachio ice cream for dessert. It arrives and they are shocked there are no pistachio pieces in the ice cream. "How can there be no pistachio pieces?!?! Who ever heard of pistachio ice cream with no pistachio pieces?!?!" The great pistachio rant lasted through all of dessert and coffee. DH and I could say nothing to them the rest of the meal because they never shut up about the pistachio ice cream long enough for us to get a word in.

 

The next night, they order the pistachio ice cream for dessert again. And again, they are shocked, shocked I tell you, that there were no pistachio pieces in the ice cream. The rant repeated exactly as the night before, and lasted just as long.

 

Night 3, they order the d@mn ice cream again. They are no less shocked than the two previous nights about the absence of pistachio pieces. It was like Groundhog Day. It happened every single dinner of the 7-night cruise. Each night they were legitimately surprised about the missing pistachio pieces. I can only assume the experience was so traumatic for them that they erased all memory of the pistachio ice cream each evening as some kind of coping mechanism.

 

DH and I turned lemons into lemonade (well, more like grapes into wine) and invented the Pistachio Drinking Game on night three. We were feeling no pain by the time we left the MDR each night.

Edited February 12, 2017 by opcasey
Spelling

[Sailor_Sally]

The pistachio ice cream story is soo hysterical !

[Judie]

The pistachio story is right up there with the "it's no wonder the dog ran away" story. [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

 

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Edited February 13, 2017 by Judie

[awhfy]

The pistachio ice cream on Celebrity is my all time favorite (it does have but pieces [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]). I'll think of this story every time I have some now!!! Thanks for a good giggle

 

 

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[LisBott]

Sorry! I'm new at posting! This was wrong spot!

[Woobstr112G]

DH and I were assigned to a table for 4 in the MDR, with another couple. On the first night, they order pistachio ice cream for dessert. It arrives and they are shocked there are no pistachio pieces in the ice cream. "How can there be no pistachio pieces?!?! Who ever heard of pistachio ice cream with no pistachio pieces?!?!" The great pistachio rant lasted through all of dessert and coffee. DH and I could say nothing to them the rest of the meal because they never shut up about the pistachio ice cream long enough for us to get a word in.

 

The next night, they order the pistachio ice cream for dessert again. And again, they are shocked, shocked I tell you, that there were no pistachio pieces in the ice cream. The rant repeated exactly as the night before, and lasted just as long.

 

Night 3, they order the d@mn ice cream again. They are no less shocked than the two previous nights about the absence of pistachio pieces. It was like Groundhog Day. It happened every single dinner of the 7-night cruise. Each night they were legitimately surprised about the missing pistachio pieces. I can only assume the experience was so traumatic for them that they erased all memory of the pistachio ice cream each evening as some kind of coping mechanism.

 

DH and I turned lemons into lemonade (well, more like grapes into wine) and invented the Pistachio Drinking Game on night three. We were feeling no pain by the time we left the MDR each night.

 

Now that is funny.....:):):)

Bob

[screwsmcernst]

My husband asked an elderly lady one morning at the breakfast buffet if she was enjoying the cruise. Her answer was that she didn't like the way they had the same thing every morning for breakfast. Given that you can get just about anything and the choice is amazing we just couldn't believe she was complaining about this. Love this thread.

 

 

 

This always amazes me. There is always anything you could imagine, and people complain that there is no variety at the buffet for breakfast, But really, how often do people change what they eat for breakfast when they are home? Usually, it is cereal and toast, maybe eggs or pancakes on the weekend. Rarely do people have time for elaborate and varied breakfasts during the week. Am I wrong?

[Itochen33]

A few funny Storys that happend to me on a NCL Cruise in 2014

I was sailing with my Family ( Granddad, Grandma, Dad, Little Brother and GF of Little Brother)

 

We had booked 3 balcony rooms next to each other but there was a mix up and we ended with two next to each other and one a few rooms down the hall. Me and my dad took that one because it was the furthest away from the elevator. It was a connecting room and our neighbors where 3 young guys on "boozetour" well... on the second night one of them (JJ) in full "boozemode" all but Crashed thrue the connecting door completely demolishing it and lands directly on my bed... while I was sleeping in it... I think my Scream woke the hole ship [emoji23] first I was really angry but after a while when I came down from the shock I found it hilarious [emoji23] a total stranger essentially sitting in my lab in the middle of the night while my dad sleeps literally a few inches away.

 

For the rest of our 5 day cruise everytime we Meet JJ i would Akt like catching him while he would Akt like jumping in my arms.

 

Of course later he was fined the repaire of the door a whooping 2500 $ and he was really sorry so on top he payed the all inclusive beverage package for me and my dad.

 

Don't have to tell you how pleased all of a sudden my old man was...[emoji41]

 

Another one was that for my grandma it was her first cruise ever and because of the hiccup with the rooms she was registered to sleep in one room with me and dad but she thought that it is not allowed to have three people in the same room and she now has to leave the ship since my grandpa is registered to be alone in his room. I needed 2 HOURS to convince her that everything is alright and that she is staying in the same room as grandpa. The guestservice guy was almost pissing himself while I was standing in front of him and switching between languages every 10 seconds because my granny would not let me finish ANY sentence without chiming in from the side. Beware my granny does NOT speak a single word of English. She didn't even know what I said to the poor guy other than obviously the wrong stuff because it took so long.... GRANNY LET ME SPEAK!!![emoji23]

 

On the first dinner on the other hand my granddad wanted steak and since I had to order for the whole family he told me and when the waiter came around and I ordered and said he wanted steak, my grandpa really said to me I have to talk English with the waiter... this Time it was the table next to us that could not hold it together and bursted out laughing because they also where from Germany and understood every word we where saying. They also found it quite hilarious how I ordered his steak to be done when asked, I just had enough of that day and ordered it "dead, like seriously, kill it. How I don't care just make sure it's not moving anymore" the stuff on Bord must have really understood fun because granddad got a perfekt well done steak with a knife sticking out of it, a hole with a carrotbullet in it and a little note from the captain that he himself made sure that this particular piece of meat was seriously dead. I love my grandparents.🤣

 

Thanks Tina

 

 

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[john watson]

Waiting to disembark and get on the coaches a lady says "We are going in to the town". "Oh yes, what are you going to do there?" "I've said too much already" she replied.

 

 

 

Regards John

[cruiseboar_1872]

On the CB last December, I overheard a man saying to the waiter in the piazza that he wanted 2 fresh cappuccinos because his wife didn't like the design on top. He then stated he paid a lot of money for the cruise and he wanted cappuccinos with a design his wife liked. The waiter graciously said yes of course.

 

My wife and I were shocked that this would matter.

[lbjen]

Unless I'm wrong about "back bacon," something very much like it is widely available in the US; but you have to steal it from Hornet and his ilk: it's what Americans call "Canadian Bacon."(I have no idea about the "English bacon" the OP mentioned, unless it has something to do with Sir Francis.)

 

 

English bacon kind of looks like Canadian bacon but with a bit of American bacon stuck to the end :D English bacon is from the back, American bacon (or streaky bacon as it's called in Britain) is from the belly. It's very, very delicious. Especially on a white bread sandwich with ketchup. Yummmmmm

[Ms Jo UK]

English bacon kind of looks like Canadian bacon but with a bit of American bacon stuck to the end :D English bacon is from the back, American bacon (or streaky bacon as it's called in Britain) is from the belly. It's very, very delicious. Especially on a white bread sandwich with ketchup. Yummmmmm

 

 

Where is the like button

[cruzincurt]

On a recent cruise we sat next to the same couple at a two top at my time dining. For three nights in a row, the guy asked for rum raisin ice cream. The exasperated waiter had to deal with this every night explaining that he checked the whole ship and could not find any. What a jerk.

 

 

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[hafsis]

Last year we were on Freedom (June 2016). The last night of our cruise we had dinner at one of the specialty restaurants. We were watching the shore go by when I asked the waitress if that was Florida. She responded to me that no-it is Miami. I still am laughing about it.

[bookmama]

On a transatlantic cruise a couple years ago, a woman got in my elevator fussing and fuming and waving the ship schedule around like a fan. She was upset that "Bridge with Sean" was scheduled, but it didn't mean a tour of the ship's bridge. She could not believe that they advertised Bridge and the tour wasn't held.

 

Years ago we were on a Panama Canal cruise. We were on a bus back from an all-day excursion when a group of 8 "more mature" passengers started complaining about missing the hamburgers on the pool deck because it was late. They were hungry and only wanted those burgers.It was the best food on the ship but since it was early evening they were going to have to eat something in the buffet. I had to hold my husband back after the discussion lasted for the entire hour drive.

[pf778c]

She was upset that "Bridge with Sean" was scheduled, but it didn't mean a tour of the ship's bridge.

 

A few cruises back my young man received a phone call inviting us to join a table hosted by the bridge team for dinner. He heard what he wanted to hear and enthusiastically accepted the invitation from the "bridge crew", and was terribly disappointed when he realized exactly whom we were having dinner with. It was one of the strangest hosted tables we'd ever experienced, but that's an entirely different thread!

[john watson]

Not so much of complaint as a funny story that happened to passengers on a recent cruise.

 

An elderly couple were in their cabin and the man cut himself badly in a corkscrew and glass bottle incident. Doctors are pretty expensive on board so they decided to bandage up the guy's hand themselves. They were a bit pushed for time and immediately disembarked to head off to the port shuttle buses into Casablanca town centre. The lady was not fully mobile and decided the shuttles were too far away for her. So she said she would get back on the ship and give the man his cruise card so he could go into town alone, which he did. Unfortunately he got lost in Casablanca and could not find the return shuttle point. He started chasing people shouting excuse me sir and madam to people whom he thought were from the ship. Unfortunately these people would not acknowledge him and were saying we are not buying anything, go away. Eventually he caught someone coming towards him and said that he needed help to get back to the ship. They pointed him to the cruise shuttle pick up point and he made it back to the ship.

 

When his cruise card was presented it related to a woman not him and he explained that it was his wife. The security guys asked him where his wife was. "On the ship" he said and they asked where which he did not know. So they escorted him to his alleged cabin where they found the blood on the bed. Then it was "What have you done with her?" Security cancelled the two cruise cards and the lady had her drink confiscated. Eventually it was all sorted out, but as the guy said I've told people and they are all laughing at me.

 

Regards John

[Happy Cruiser 6143]

On a recent cruise we sat next to the same couple at a two top at my time dining. For three nights in a row, the guy asked for rum raisin ice cream. The exasperated waiter had to deal with this every night explaining that he checked the whole ship and could not find any. What a jerk.

 

Well, in the good old days of Celebrity, when I would ask for rum raisin ice cream, my lovely waiter would let the kitchen know and from then on I would get rum raisin ice cream for dessert no matter what else I ordered. If I ordered something else, I would get that PLUS rum raisin ice cream.