Handicapped Phonies

[Oceanwench]

DH has MS and is in a powerchair. He can't walk.

But in the early stages of the disease, when it was relapsing/remitting, he had good days and bad. Some days he needed a wheelchair, some not.

 

When he had long distances to walk, like at an airport, he always used a wheelchair. At Disney he'd rent a scooter because he knew eventually his legs would give out.

 

It really isn't anyone's business as to why someone is in a wheelchair.

[DMH15]

I have a friend who does not outwardly appear handicapped but she has gone through a lot of surgeries and let's just say she is extremely compromised and fragile. We have talked about how some have given her dirty looks when she legally parks in a handicapped space.

 

 

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[tbae]

I too carry our extra hang tag to try to quell the looks.... My husband is disabled, but not in a wheelchair. He is only 55, but has loss of mobility due to a spine disease. Some days are better than others. But he is slower than most - and fragile. Getting him into anything like a higher vehicle, over a taller threshold or especially into a tub/shower combo is difficult and more dangerous for him. Recently he had a fall and fractured his wrist and had a few other injuries. Seeing him sitting somewhere or standing--he looks "normal" - and believe me I despise that word--but people say it all the time We are ALL normal, just some have different challenges. Anyway, I echo the sentiments of others on his thread. Never judge, you don't know what someone has going on. And for the record, we do not request handicapped rooms. I am able to help him and leave those rooms for wheelchair-bound (and other kinds of needed aids) folks if needed. But as others have said, sometimes when those rooms are not needed, they get assigned to able-bodied folks - and that is perfectly awesome too. Be kind to each other friends...

[Scotts73]

I'm sorry but its threads like this that make my blood boil. Not all handicaps are noticeable and some of the most handicapped people in the world don't even use handicap parking. My #1 pet peeve on CC is threads like these. Someone sees a dog on a ship and suddenly is a medical expert and blogs here how they were offended a dog was on the ship. NCL like all businesses will allow certified dogs for handicap passengers.

The thing that is odd from this thread is that its coming from someone who claims they or their family member is handicapped. How strange.

My sister has MS and the number one annoyance to anyone with MS is the people that say "You look so good there is nothing wrong with you.'

The arrogance of anyone to be a medical expert to watch people on a cruise ship and be the handicap Czar of who is handicapped and who is not is outrageous.

Not all disabilities are visible to the naked eye. Just because someone is seen walking does not mean they don't have special needs or handicapped.

Grow up. Get a life and worry about yourself and "your handicap" before you cast judgment and attack others. Some people have multiple seizures during the day but look normal. Some people can walk short distances but then cant walk. Some people are legally blind but you don't know it. The OP only has a few posts so maybe they are trolling everyone with such a cruel post.

 

EXACTLY! I’ve had MS for ten years & on most days I “look” just fine. But at any minute, the spasticity in my legs take over and it’s very difficult to walk. It makes my blood boil that people are so judgmental. I wish the wheelchair picture on the sign was removed from all handicapped parking spots as well. People always assume that you’re just fine if you aren’t using a wheelchair. My favorite bumper sticker reads, “ You can take my parking spot, if you take my MS as well.”

[pcakes122]

Again, as a disabled person, I am in the practice of ALWAYS letting NCL or a hotel or airline know IN ADVANCE that I will need assistance.

 

In the case outlined by the OP, the party was "ranting about the lack of an NCL wheelchair". Well, if the wife were truly in need, one of them should have called the NCL Access Department BEFORE traveling to advise they would need assistance. NCL provides a list of folks needing wheelchair assistance to the port folks who coordinate the wheelchair boarding.

 

I get that folks have good days and bad days - I have some days that are better than others, too. But 100% of the time when I am travelling I know that I MUST be prepared and make sure that whatever services I will need are in place.

 

And as much as I am HAPPY that many folks who consider themselves "disabled" don't feel they need to do that, there is a level of disability that I hope you will never reach - one in which we simply CANNOT travel without much advance preparation. Sounds like the folks that the OP was talking about were certainly not at that level of need, but if they were expecting wheelchair assistance, they should have arranged for it in advance.

 

And for those who are going to say that they did and that's why they were annoyed - well, then they haven't spent much time in the wheelchair area waiting for assistance on other trips. It's not where you want to be when you are in a hurry. :') However, most of us understand that there are only so many wheelchairs and so many helpers and you just get used to waiting and learn to relax! :)

[Scotts73]

Again, as a disabled person, I am in the practice of ALWAYS letting NCL or a hotel or airline know IN ADVANCE that I will need assistance.

 

In the case outlined by the OP, the party was "ranting about the lack of an NCL wheelchair". Well, if the wife were truly in need, one of them should have called the NCL Access Department BEFORE traveling to advise they would need assistance. NCL provides a list of folks needing wheelchair assistance to the port folks who coordinate the wheelchair boarding.

 

I get that folks have good days and bad days - I have some days that are better than others, too. But 100% of the time when I am travelling I know that I MUST be prepared and make sure that whatever services I will need are in place.

 

And as much as I am HAPPY that many folks who consider themselves "disabled" don't feel they need to do that, there is a level of disability that I hope you will never reach - one in which we simply CANNOT travel without much advance preparation. Sounds like the folks that the OP was talking about were certainly not at that level of need, but if they were expecting wheelchair assistance, they should have arranged for it in advance.

 

And for those who are going to say that they did and that's why they were annoyed - well, then they haven't spent much time in the wheelchair area waiting for assistance on other trips. It's not where you want to be when you are in a hurry. :') However, most of us understand that there are only so many wheelchairs and so many helpers and you just get used to waiting and learn to relax! :)

 

The passenger may or may not have let NCL know in advance, we don’t know their situation & it doesn’t even matter. I believe the reason why most are reacting to the post is because the OP is saying people are “claiming” to be handicapped and calling a lady a “phony” just because she didn’t use her wheelchair at a buffet & the casino. I guess she could call me a “phony” as well since I may only need assistance at certain times. 🙄

[Lucky2326]

Just a note: If you ever see someone in a handicapped stateroom that is clearly not handicapped, do NOT jump to conclusions. We were on the Sun and had a guarantee interior. We ended up being assigned a handicapped room, which is quite a bit larger than the other rooms. I saw this online prior to our departure, and I even called NCL and told them I was not handicapped, and did not want to take that cabin from someone who truly needed it. I was assured that it was assigned to me BECAUSE no one needed it, so not to feel bad.

 

This is obviously a unique situation but just something to keep in mind before you jump to conclusions over whether or not someone "needs" accessible options available to them. Not everyone is intentionally trying to take advantage.

 

But the wheelchair example, I agree, there's no excuse for that.

We once were also put in a handicapped room and did not need it. I guess it happens more then you think.

[seadog18]

Get things in perspective. Of the millions who cruise for example what percentage of people buck the system and I appreciate there are some? let it go!

[PTC DAWG]

Yeah, some people abuse wheelchairs etc for the benefit of their entire party....I just figure karma is a bitch....it will come back on them at some point...

[Notnewtoit]

A long time ago... I took the words widely attributed to Philo to heart: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is [also] fighting a great battle".

 

What is described here is also referred to by Southwest crew as "The Southwest Miracle"... 8 people need wheelchairs to get on the plane... yet only 3 needed them to get off; a miracle.

 

Nonetheless, one does not know who.... so my first observation (Philo) is a good one to live by IMHO.

[Doug R.]

We just returned from the Dawn and having a 'actually disabled spouse' were seated in the special needs area for boarding no wheelchair required just medical O2 etc. . The number of people claiming to be disabled was outrageous. One party in particular was ranting and raving about a lack of a NCL supplied wheelchair for his wife which they did receive eventually. Guess what ? Every time we saw them she was walking just fine through the Atrium Buffet and the Casino. Guess who showed up at disembarkation day looking for a wheelchair again. Some kind of documentation should be required to obtain the 'handicap status'

 

Dear Bozo err I mean Bonzo- Quit getting worked up over things that are not your business, you will live longer and enjoy life more. I have a handicap tag for my car and I use a cane for boarding ships. I have several ailments that warrant this. I don't always use the cane or the handicap tag. One day recently I was accosted by one of your friends in the "Parking Lot Police" saying I didn't look disabled to her (at 68 that can be construed as a compliment). I turned around and said "That's OK, you don't look like a jerk to me." She was exploding with anger as I left. She had her phone out so I was hoping she was calling the police. I went into the store conducted my business and went back to my car and guess who was waiting? You guessed it! She was yelling she wanted proof that I was handicapped. I drove off without saying what my little Jersey mind wanted me to say.

 

My advice? Chill!

[Shidah]

A long time ago... I took the words widely attributed to Philo to heart: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is [also] fighting a great battle".

 

What is described here is also referred to by Southwest crew as "The Southwest Miracle"... 8 people need wheelchairs to get on the plane... yet only 3 needed them to get off; a miracle.

 

Nonetheless, one does not know who.... so my first observation (Philo) is a good one to live by IMHO.

 

Love the Southwest Miracle story!

[david_sobe]

These kinds of threads can get nasty and go on forever. So lets follow sage advice that I am trying to do myself. Never confront negative energy with negative energy.

Let's just say.... Bless their hearts. They are so blessed they are not handicapped, have parents that are handicapped, or have a child with special needs. Bless them the rest of their lives that they never know what its like to travel when handicapped. :*:*:*:*

[pcakes122]

These kinds of threads can get nasty and go on forever. So lets follow sage advice that I am trying to do myself. Never confront negative energy with negative energy.

Let's just say.... Bless their hearts. They are so blessed they are not handicapped, have parents that are handicapped, or have a child with special needs. Bless them the rest of their lives that they never know what its like to travel when handicapped. :*:*:*:*

Great advice!

 

I think the thing that TRULY bothers me is that there really aren't enough accessible accommodations to go around - which is one of the reasons these threads get so emotional and nasty. Those of us depending upon the relatively FEW facilities or accommodations get easily frustrated when anyone who may not really need them takes advantage of them.

 

I wish the hotels, airlines, cruise lines, restaurants etc. designed facilities that were useable by ALL so that we didn't have to struggle over who is using what. For example, if the ships can design an accessible bathroom with no step or threshold - why do ANY of the bathrooms have to have thresholds?? Not everyone disabled person needs a "full-turnaround" wheelchair cabin, but if they can't navigate a bathroom threshold they will HAVE to book one. Same with some of the other features - for example, "low" chairs and furniture. Because of my disability, I can only sit on about 1% of the furniture anywhere on a cruise ship due to severe knee issues. I have to travel with my own chair in addition to a mobility scooter because of that. Why can't there be a VARIETY of chair heights available in the restaurants and lounges? How much more (if anything) could that really cost?

 

My vote is to design the ships (and hotels, airports, restaurants, etc.) with enough variety to accommodate a wide spectrum of physical attributes, health and abilities and that would make the world a lot easier to navigate for many of us who struggle!

[Notnewtoit]

Great advice!

 

I think the thing that TRULY bothers me is that there really aren't enough accessible accommodations to go around - which is one of the reasons these threads get so emotional and nasty. Those of us depending upon the relatively FEW facilities or accommodations get easily frustrated when anyone who may not really need them takes advantage of them.

 

I wish the hotels, airlines, cruise lines, restaurants etc. designed facilities that were useable by ALL so that we didn't have to struggle over who is using what. For example, if the ships can design an accessible bathroom with no step or threshold - why do ANY of the bathrooms have to have thresholds?? Not everyone disabled person needs a "full-turnaround" wheelchair cabin, but if they can't navigate a bathroom threshold they will HAVE to book one. Same with some of the other features - for example, "low" chairs and furniture. Because of my disability, I can only sit on about 1% of the furniture anywhere on a cruise ship due to severe knee issues. I have to travel with my own chair in addition to a mobility scooter because of that. Why can't there be a VARIETY of chair heights available in the restaurants and lounges? How much more (if anything) could that really cost?

 

My vote is to design the ships (and hotels, airports, restaurants, etc.) with enough variety to accommodate a wide spectrum of physical attributes, health and abilities and that would make the world a lot easier to navigate for many of us who struggle!

 

There is a concept in Industrial Design called 'Universal Design'... it says in essence... "Design for the most challenged and it will be easy for the least challenged". I for one embrace it... but inevitably it costs more and 'people' don't want to pay the extra ".10c" to make it easier for someone else. Think about vending machines.... One day maybe.

[klfhngr]

Please be careful whom you accuse of being a "phony." I am 61 with no cartilage left in my knees. At times, I can walk some distances and at other times, I cannot. Sometimes I need a mobile cart in a store and other times, not. There are so many other invisible disabilities such as RA, fibromyalgia, lupus, and many others that affect a person. Perhaps the lady you encountered has one and is used to having to "fight" to prove herself,so has a chip on her shoulder. No excuse, but certainly understandable. Did she take anything away from your wife that she needed? If not, then I would think it is none of my business and move on. Attitudes like you display here create chips on shoulders of people with actual disabilities that are not always so readily apparent.

 

Sometimes we are doomed if we do and doomed if we don't. I have a handicap parking tag, but at times, if I am having a good day, I will park in a non handicapped spot that is close. I have been cursed at for this and told I should take the handicap spot and leave that one for non handicapped people to get close.

 

Great point on not to assume.. I've had 3 serious knee surgeries, I have my good days and my bad days.. it I never try to take advantage of the situation...

 

Maybe showing a handicapped sign would/should be required? Idk... Evan with that, I've had people leave notes on my car questioning why I had a placard, saying that I looked fine.... Who knows..

[ColinIllinois]

Crazy as it seems, I'm a big believer in Karma. Good Karma, Bad Karma. It all comes around, doesn't it?

[GUT2407]

Great advice!

 

I think the thing that TRULY bothers me is that there really aren't enough accessible accommodations to go around - which is one of the reasons these threads get so emotional and nasty. Those of us depending upon the relatively FEW facilities or accommodations get easily frustrated when anyone who may not really need them takes advantage of them.

 

I wish the hotels, airlines, cruise lines, restaurants etc. designed facilities that were useable by ALL so that we didn't have to struggle over who is using what. For example, if the ships can design an accessible bathroom with no step or threshold - why do ANY of the bathrooms have to have thresholds?? Not everyone disabled person needs a "full-turnaround" wheelchair cabin, but if they can't navigate a bathroom threshold they will HAVE to book one. Same with some of the other features - for example, "low" chairs and furniture. Because of my disability, I can only sit on about 1% of the furniture anywhere on a cruise ship due to severe knee issues. I have to travel with my own chair in addition to a mobility scooter because of that. Why can't there be a VARIETY of chair heights available in the restaurants and lounges? How much more (if anything) could that really cost?

 

My vote is to design the ships (and hotels, airports, restaurants, etc.) with enough variety to accommodate a wide spectrum of physical attributes, health and abilities and that would make the world a lot easier to navigate for many of us who struggle!

 

 

For a cruise ship the big issue is that an accessible cabin takes up about 50% more floor space than a standard cabin.

 

So if every Cabin was built to that standard there would be 1/3 less cabins.

[pcakes122]

For a cruise ship the big issue is that an accessible cabin takes up about 50% more floor space than a standard cabin.

 

So if every Cabin was built to that standard there would be 1/3 less cabins.

You may have misunderstood my post. My point was that everyone who cannot navigate a bathroom threshold does NOT need a larger (full-turnaround wheelchair) cabin. However, some people book an accessible cabin mainly because they can't do that bathroom "step". How much easier would it be to just have more "standard-sized" cabins with NO step and some lavatory grab bars for those folks who are not completely incapacitated but need "some help."

[CindyPie1004]

We just returned from the Dawn and having a 'actually disabled spouse' were seated in the special needs area for boarding no wheelchair required just medical O2 etc. . The number of people claiming to be disabled was outrageous. One party in particular was ranting and raving about a lack of a NCL supplied wheelchair for his wife which they did receive eventually. Guess what ? Every time we saw them she was walking just fine through the Atrium Buffet and the Casino. Guess who showed up at disembarkation day looking for a wheelchair again. Some kind of documentation should be required to obtain the 'handicap status'

 

How dare you? When did you become the be all know all of who is handicapped and who is not.

 

It sounds like your spouse has special needs so it just stuns me that you have the nerve to judge others.

 

I am a 53 year old who just this year had another 6 level spinal fusion surgery, I am now fused from t4 to l4 (12 vertebrae for those counting) with the two fusions meeting at t9/t10.

 

I do not have handicapped placards at this point but, damn, there are days when the walk from the parking lot is all I can manage without a break. I have NEVER used a wheelchair in a store and I don’t take advantage of any special needs services available and that is largely due to judgemental people like you. Maybe that person you are judging is like me, and only has so many good steps a day. Maybe that person is like me and held together with screws and rods and is at risk for serious damage if they fall.

 

I’m not saying there aren’t abusers of the system out there. Maybe you and your spouse fit that bill, but that is not for me to assess based on the limited info provided and my lack of a medical degree... But, maybe before you judge others, you should live in their skin.

 

 

Maybe before you judge, you could just give the benefit of the doubt, offer help or just wish them well and be happy you are not dependent in any way on a wheelchair.

[GUT2407]

You may have misunderstood my post. My point was that everyone who cannot navigate a bathroom threshold does NOT need a larger (full-turnaround wheelchair) cabin. However, some people book an accessible cabin mainly because they can't do that bathroom "step". How much easier would it be to just have more "standard-sized" cabins with NO step and some lavatory grab bars for those folks who are not completely incapacitated but need "some help."

 

 

Ok. Not sure why they can’t do away with the step.

 

And I guess $$$ is the only reason every lav doesn’t have grab bars.

 

There are some pretty good suction ones now. Maybe the lines need a few sets for those who need them.

[GUT2407]

How dare you? When did you become the be all know all of who is handicapped and who is not.

 

It sounds like your spouse has special needs so it just stuns me that you have the nerve to judge others.

 

I am a 53 year old who just this year had another 6 level spinal fusion surgery, I am now fused from t4 to l4 (12 vertebrae for those counting) with the two fusions meeting at t9/t10.

 

I do not have handicapped placards at this point but, damn, there are days when the walk from the parking lot is all I can manage without a break. I have NEVER used a wheelchair in a store and I don’t take advantage of any special needs services available and that is largely due to judgemental people like you. Maybe that person you are judging is like me, and only has so many good steps a day. Maybe that person is like me and held together with screws and rods and is at risk for serious damage if they fall.

 

I’m not saying there aren’t abusers of the system out there. Maybe you and your spouse fit that bill, but that is not for me to assess based on the limited info provided and my lack of a medical degree... But, maybe before you judge others, you should live in their skin.

 

 

Maybe before you judge, you could just give the benefit of the doubt, offer help or just wish them well and be happy you are not dependent in any way on a wheelchair.

 

 

Well put.

 

But get a parking permit (placard, whatever it’s called where you are) even if you seldom use it, there may be days it lets you do something you otherwise need to pass on.

[satchimosmom]

We just returned from the Dawn and having a 'actually disabled spouse' were seated in the special needs area for boarding no wheelchair required just medical O2 etc. . The number of people claiming to be disabled was outrageous. One party in particular was ranting and raving about a lack of a NCL supplied wheelchair for his wife which they did receive eventually. Guess what ? Every time we saw them she was walking just fine through the Atrium Buffet and the Casino. Guess who showed up at disembarkation day looking for a wheelchair again. Some kind of documentation should be required to obtain the 'handicap status'

 

 

 

Should this “documentation” be kept visible at all times to be viewed by the public to satisfy inquiring minds? Because I really feel it’s nobody’s business.

 

I am an attractive, 57-year-old. I’m quite positive you would never guess I had physical challenges. But I do.

 

Ever had mono or even the flu - that exhaustion and weakness? That’s what I have lived with 24/7 for the past 12 years. I’ve lost my career and my social life.

 

I will gladly give up riding my power chair to be full of good health again!

 

I have multiple autoimmune conditions which severely limit my energy output. I may awaken feeling fine but I’ve got 2-4 good hours before I lose strength and energy. Even sitting upright is often too much to bear. I may be able to “push through” but there’s always a price to pay. Pushing through for a day’s fun is sometimes doable but may land me in bed for the next two or three.

 

I have a handicapped tag on my vehicle and also a placard. I don’t actually leave home very often. But when I do, I very rarely use a handicapped spot. I reserve it for those times that I MUST go into the grocery store but feel like I may collapse at any given moment.

 

Now, I’ve got an upcoming cruise next month to Alaska. I was seriously considering bringing my power chair to reserve my energy onboard and hopefully saving enough energy to get off at port (without the chair) to go whale watching on a boat.

 

Or what if it’s a sea day and I decide to walk to the breakfast buffet?

 

But now I know what some people really think of me. I’ll be labeled a “phony” just trying to game the system.

 

To those who think that way - I pray you never need a wheelchair. [emoji17]

 

P.S. - I’m sorry if this sounds mean-spirited, Bonzo. I’m truly struggling with your post right now (it literally made me tear up) and whether or not to bring my chair.

[klfhngr]

Should this “documentation” be kept visible at all times to be viewed by the public to satisfy inquiring minds? Because I really feel it’s nobody’s business.

 

I am an attractive, 57-year-old. I’m quite positive you would never guess I had physical challenges. But I do.

 

Ever had mono or even the flu - that exhaustion and weakness? That’s what I have lived with 24/7 for the past 12 years. I’ve lost my career and my social life.

 

I will gladly give up riding my power chair to be full of good health again!

 

I have multiple autoimmune conditions which severely limit my energy output. I may awaken feeling fine but I’ve got 2-4 good hours before I lose strength and energy. Even sitting upright is often too much to bear. I may be able to “push through” but there’s always a price to pay. Pushing through for a day’s fun is sometimes doable but may land me in bed for the next two or three.

 

I have a handicapped tag on my vehicle and also a placard. I don’t actually leave home very often. But when I do, I very rarely use a handicapped spot. I reserve it for those times that I MUST go into the grocery store but feel like I may collapse at any given moment.

 

Now, I’ve got an upcoming cruise next month to Alaska. I was seriously considering bringing my power chair to reserve my energy onboard and hopefully saving enough energy to get off at port (without the chair) to go whale watching on a boat.

 

Or what if it’s a sea day and I decide to walk to the breakfast buffet?

 

But now I know what some people really think of me. I’ll be labeled a “phony” just trying to game the system.

 

To those who think that way - I pray you never need a wheelchair. [emoji17]

 

P.S. - I’m sorry if this sounds mean-spirited, Bonzo. I’m truly struggling with your post right now (it literally made me tear up) and whether or not to bring my chair.

 

Hang in there Satch... If I ever see an attractive woman on a scooter, I'll rent one so we can 'cruise' aroind the ship together, lol! In all seriousness, hope you have more better days and hope your prayer is answered..

[CindyPie1004]

Should this “documentation” be kept visible at all times to be viewed by the public to satisfy inquiring minds? Because I really feel it’s nobody’s business.

 

I am an attractive, 57-year-old. I’m quite positive you would never guess I had physical challenges. But I do.

 

Ever had mono or even the flu - that exhaustion and weakness? That’s what I have lived with 24/7 for the past 12 years. I’ve lost my career and my social life.

 

I will gladly give up riding my power chair to be full of good health again!

 

I have multiple autoimmune conditions which severely limit my energy output. I may awaken feeling fine but I’ve got 2-4 good hours before I lose strength and energy. Even sitting upright is often too much to bear. I may be able to “push through” but there’s always a price to pay. Pushing through for a day’s fun is sometimes doable but may land me in bed for the next two or three.

 

I have a handicapped tag on my vehicle and also a placard. I don’t actually leave home very often. But when I do, I very rarely use a handicapped spot. I reserve it for those times that I MUST go into the grocery store but feel like I may collapse at any given moment.

 

Now, I’ve got an upcoming cruise next month to Alaska. I was seriously considering bringing my power chair to reserve my energy onboard and hopefully saving enough energy to get off at port (without the chair) to go whale watching on a boat.

 

Or what if it’s a sea day and I decide to walk to the breakfast buffet?

 

But now I know what some people really think of me. I’ll be labeled a “phony” just trying to game the system.

 

To those who think that way - I pray you never need a wheelchair. [emoji17]

 

P.S. - I’m sorry if this sounds mean-spirited, Bonzo. I’m truly struggling with your post right now (it literally made me tear up) and whether or not to bring my chair.

 

Your post has made me well up too... Most definitely bring your scooter! Alaska is stunning and you’ll want to experience all that you can.

 

I’m cruising to Alaska in September and am so excited; this is our second trip. Me and my 12 level spinal fusion will do what we can and if the day brings too much, I’ll enjoy everything the ship has to offer, including the bar!

 

If I happen to see someone in a wheelchair, I’ll think of you and hope that you had a great trip. All my best to you.