Whose Responsibility?

[anaco_angler]

We just returned from our BIE cruise on Viking Mars. It was a great trip with one exception, which leads to my question. We booked the Chef's Table for the Great Britain menu. The food was exceptionally good but the experience was marred by "loud talkers." There were two ladies each at two two-tops directly behind us and they struck up a conversation ("we're from Texas"), getting to know new friends, so to speak. They became more animated, and louder, as the dinner progressed. When we were leaving the Chef's Table, the manager asked us how everything was. We told him that the food was excellent but the ambience was not. When we started to explain he immediately said, "oh, the tables behind you." So he was aware of the situation but did nothing to handle it.

My question is, should it have been his responsibility to politely ask that the level of conversation be kept at a more reasonable volume, or should it have been our responsibility? We expect that the noise volume in The Restaurant will be loud as tables are filled, but in a smaller, more enclosed venue like the Chef's Table, is it unreasonable to expect a quieter atmosphere?

 

[Jim Avery]

Unfortunately, the Unlearning of manners seems to be everywhere.  I know when I am loud.... Lois slaps the you know what out of me and tells me to keep it down....

[island lady]

On a related subject, having done Chef's table on RCI....same thing the last time.  Ridiculously loud and obnoxious drunken woman, celebrating her birthday, ruined the evening for all of us.  

 

 

[longterm]

I come from a large family--there are 7 of us, 5 boys, 2 girls--and a lot of us are big talkers. Some of us, including me, tend to be a little loud sometimes, and it's cacophony when we all get together.

 

But when I go to a restaurant, I keep my conversation down, because nothing annoys me more than a table full of loud talkers. Alcohol often plays a huge part in it too; we were at a nice place the other night, and a table of 6 was whooping it up, having lots of cocktails, and they really ruined our experience.

 

Could the manager have gone over to them, and if so, what would he say? He'd have to say that someone complained, and of course that would have singled us out, since we were the closest table.

 

It's a lose-lose situation, unfortunately, and all one can do is try to ignore it, which is often impossible. Had the restaurant manager said something to the two women, he might have faced their wrath, so what to do? 

 

One thing that we can all do, is politely request a different table away from the noisy one; that's what we try to do when this happens.

[Murt22]

The problem is letting people from Texas on the cruise...😃

[gma1]

Yes that is so annoying, when you are have a nice quiet dinner for 2! My husband cannot help himself nor cannot ignor it. He also has a hearing problem & cannot hear if they are close by!  He will look in their direction with a frown on his face...probably several times & sometimes they get the picture! However if they are drinking too much & don't care, we have ask to moved to another table, Usually we can be accommodated. Another solution just walk out & find another dining room thats quieter. 

[longterm]

1 hour ago, Murt22 said:

The problem is letting people from Texas on the cruise...😃

That's the problem! (We, unfortunately, live in the quagmire that is Texas)

 

 

[Murt22]

29 minutes ago, longterm said:

That's the problem! (We, unfortunately, live in the quagmire that is Texas)

 

choices have consequences....

[anaco_angler]

Be assured there was no ill intent with my reference to Texas. It was just a statement I heard clearly as the two tables began the usual "where are you from" introductions. What caught my attention was that the manager immediately knew what the situation was. I would think that part of his training would have been handling such situations tactfully. The tables at the Chef's Table are fairly close together. There was a four-top next to us and the two couples were conversing normally. When the four ladies behind us left, the gentleman at the next table gave me a fist bump, so I knew it wasn't just me who thought they were too loud. (Full disclosure: I wear hearing aids so amplified sound can be more irritating to me than to someone with normal hearing.)

Not to worry, it was an enjoyable evening nonetheless and we remain loyal to Viking. 

 

[CCWineLover]

In my experience, the issues we've experienced with loud people at Chef's Table are usually with the two some tables.   When we have a group of 4 or 6 you are seated away from the window and among other tables of similar size.  So usually everyone is about the same loudness.

 

However, if you want a nice meal as a twosome and sit by the window, you might be subject to a very common phenomena on Viking.   The twosome tables at the windows are set apart from each other a bit for a little privacy (and to step between for the waiters).  Our experience is that at least half the time the two couples on either side of the space take up a dinner long conversation across that empty space, having to speak louder so the other 2 can hear them.  If you are seated in front or behind them, it is often unbearable.  However, I've had the privilege of learning every detail of stranger's lives that I never met and never saw (they were behind me) - sometimes quite a riot what people share with complete strangers about themselves.  Of course the wine escalates things. 🙂

 

[Redtravel]

Not everyone talks quietly.  Viking has lots guests.  Some may have hearing loss. 

[CILCIANRQTS]

2 minutes ago, Redtravel said:

Not everyone talks quietly.  Viking has lots guests.  Some may have hearing loss. 

Or the drink package!! 😉

[uktog]

Or an insatiable desire to share life stories and full medical histories with all around. For me it was the tranquility of the spa that was shattered by this phenomenon one day. 
 

My approach in a restaurant if it happens is to turn and make eye contact with one of the offending parties and give them my very best Paddington Bear stare. Can work well (sometimes) 😀

[CDNPolar]

As others have said, this is a difficult situation.  

 

If it bothered me that much, I would have spoken to the table directly myself or talked to the manager on the side at the time, and not waited until leaving and having my enjoyment impacted by these loud talkers.

 

My husband probably would have talked to the table directly.  Recently on a flight the man sitting behind my husband was poking the touch screen with great force and it was like a kid was kicking the seat.  It got to the point where it was obvious it was bothering my husband, so he got up and politely explained what was happening and the guy immediately changed the force of his finger pokes to the screen.

 

Interesting thing is that we have a friend that will talk about others being loud, but they don't recognize their own loudness at times.

 

I think that the crew are hesitant to intervene because the table may take offence to their intervention as well.

 

 

[CILCIANRQTS]

14 minutes ago, CDNPolar said:

As others have said, this is a difficult situation.  

 

If it bothered me that much, I would have spoken to the table directly myself or talked to the manager on the side at the time, and not waited until leaving and having my enjoyment impacted by these loud talkers.

 

My husband probably would have talked to the table directly.  Recently on a flight the man sitting behind my husband was poking the touch screen with great force and it was like a kid was kicking the seat.  It got to the point where it was obvious it was bothering my husband, so he got up and politely explained what was happening and the guy immediately changed the force of his finger pokes to the screen.

 

Interesting thing is that we have a friend that will talk about others being loud, but they don't recognize their own loudness at times.

 

I think that the crew are hesitant to intervene because the table may take offence to their intervention as well.

 

 

If a manager can’t control the environment in his/her restaurant, then they don’t deserve to be a manager.

[longterm]

13 hours ago, Murt22 said:

choices have consequences....

Grandkids. On balance, worth it!

[Frisky070802]

He knew the table was loud. But he may have felt it was not his place to chastise them unless someone complained and gave him cover to do so. 

[molymoo]

I generally like to assume that those exhibiting "boorish" behaviors are not necessarily doing so intentionally but rather are caught up in the moment and not realizing how what they are doing affects others.  That said, if their loud conversation bothered you you were perfectly within your rights to ask them (politely) to keep the volume down.  You also would have been within your rights to speak to either the manager or one of your wait staff and ask them to handle it.  I wouldn't expect any of the staff to risk upsetting an otherwise nice dinner service unless someone complained.  

[friendlyfifer]

I live in a Scottish university town with thousands of American students. In coffee shops they can be with one friend across the table but their volume is such that you would think they are addressing everyone in the shop. I give them my evil stare but, although intellectually clever, they are socially unaware. They generally are incapable of turning down the volume and I am forced to listen to their chattering.

On a cruise ship the restaurant manager, if aware of a potential problem, should be competent of having a discreet word with the boisterous individuals. Such behaviour should not be allowed to spoil the enjoyment of other guests.

[OneSixtyToOne]

I was recently at a major league baseball game and two 20 something insurance salesmen sat behind me, arriving during the 3rd inning (of course). For the next two innings they loudly boasted about everything imaginable, trying to one up each other and brag about how much money they were making. I finally turned around and asked them to turn down the volume a notch. That lasted for about one inning and then they left.

 

Self-awareness is totally absent in society. It’s a narcissistic nightmare.

 

 

Edited September 15, 2023 by OneSixtyToOne

[gbldcl]

I have discovered an added bonus to wearing hearing aids. I can control the reception through an app on my iPhone, and when it gets noisy in the restaurant I can turn them down to minus 8 db or even turn one side off, which takes the edge off of loud annoying voices. I can still converse with my wife across the table who does not have to raise her voice if she is speaking directly at me. Before I started wearing the hearing aids it never occurred to me that they would also be useful in tuning people out. Win Win!

 

[Twitchly]

16 hours ago, Redtravel said:

Not everyone talks quietly.  Viking has lots guests.  Some may have hearing loss. 

There was a period there when I spent a lot of time with elderly parents and friends who couldn’t hear well, and I found myself bellowing in restaurants. I noticed the occasional glacial look from others but there was only so much I could do. 
 

Ironically, I find people with hearing loss often speak very quietly themselves, which makes my one-sided bellowing seem all the more idiotic. 

[island lady]

My DH also wears hearing aids.  If he can't turn them down enough (they are the kind of set that has volume wheels on each one)....he just pulls them out.  Yeah, that's when I envy him.  😉 

[LindaS272]

There’s always noise canceling headphones. 💆

 

Maybe in loud restaurants we could all just wear noise canceling headsets & be on a group chat on our phones.

 

That said, I too think the OP should have spoken with the manager and asked them to rein in the noisy talkers.

Edited September 15, 2023 by LindaS272

[KBs mum]

Our tactic is to start commenting on what the loud pillocks are saying. Eg 'we're from . . .'  us 'oh god they're from  . . . , how terrible, must be a blessing for them to get away on holiday' 

They soon shut up, particularly as other tables often join in. 

 

Before we do this we try to make sure there isn't a disability related reason for the volume. 

 

We expect conversation background noise, but see no reason to put up with loudness that is allmost shouting. Good restaurant staff can stop it before it gets going. 

Edited September 15, 2023 by KBs mum