Women, How Difficult Was Your First Solo?

[Podie]

I am an adventurous 57 year old. My husband passed away two months ago today after a long illness. How difficult was your first solo cruise? Just wondering if I'll be lonely?

[calliopecruiser]

I'm sorry for your loss........

 

I enjoyed my first solo cruise, but it was not my first solo vacation. I was used to traveling on my own, so I'm not sure it's a fair comparison.

 

I think whether or not you'll find a solo cruise difficult will depends on whether or not you find making decisions on your own and doing things on your own to be easy or difficult. You say you don't want to be lonely (who does?), but it's certainly possible not to be lonely even if you are on your own. While you will probably meet people to do things with, you should be prepared that you may not meet a lot of people whom you like and want to spend time with. I would never suggest that someone make a vacation plan (whether a land or cruise vacation) that will require they meet people for them to enjoy themselves.

 

If you're comfortable being on your own and don't need company all the time, or are even looking forward to spending time on your own (at the pool, walking the decks, reading, etc) then you will have a good time -- and finding company will be a bonus. I should add that if you enjoy dancing, consider a voyage with Gentleman Hosts or Ambassador Hosts - men who work for the cruiseline (or an agency) and are available to dance with unattached women. Crystal has these Hosts on every voyage; some of the other lines have them on some of their cruises.

[Podie]

Thanks for your thoughts. You made some good points. I don't mean to say that alone equals lonely, but I do enjoy going out with friends on a fairly regular basis so I'm not sure how I'd react to doing everything alone. I guess there's only one way to find out!

[Lois R]

Hi Podie, .....so sorry for your loss.....glad you came back over to our

Florida thread too:)

 

My first solo cruise was over 10 years ago......I think I remember

being nervous and excited all at the same time. I have always been

very outgoing so there was no "shyness" to overcome.

10 years later and over 35 cruises later? I only sail solo:D....since

you said you are adventuous? I bet you will have a great time too.:)

[FangedRose]

My first solo cruise was a year after I was widowed. It wasn't my first cruise though so I knew my way round a ship.

 

I have had now three solo cruises and relish the freedom to get up when I want, eat when I want, swim when I want etc., without having to negotiate these things with anybody else ( or is that just selfish). I must qualify that I married at 19 straight from home and am still relishing my 'freedom'.

 

A cruise is very suitable for solo travellers, it is by and large, a safe and secure environment, and you soon make acquaintances, if not friends, as you find like minded people attending the same activities and going on same excursions etc.

[BassettMom]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 

My first cruise was a solo cruise as a widow. My late husband had been hospitalized right before Christmas and passed away on Jan 2--this was 3-1/2 years ago. As the first "anniversary" approached, I knew I didn't want to spend the holiday season at home and thought about "running away" somewhere. I had traveled quite a bit for business so going somewhere solo didn't bother me, and thought about making hotel reservations somewhere, but then thought that moping in a hotel room probably wasn't mentally healthy. Family members all invited me to spend Christmas with them, but I really didn't want to put a damper on their holidays since I thought this would be a difficult time for me.

 

Then I thought about booking a cruise. I had never been on one, but had friends and family members who had, so thought that would be an option. My thought was if I was feeling mopey and sad, I could "escape" to my cabin, and if I wanted company, there were other people on the cruise.

 

I called a TA and explained my situation (widowed, wanted to get away, had never been on a cruise). My TA was a little hesitant about booking a 14-day round trip to Hawaii cruise for a first cruise, but after talking with me and finding out what I like to do (enjoy spending time reading, etc.), and really wanted to be gone for the entire Christmas/New Year season, helped me book the right cruise line (not a "party" cruise since that isn't what I was looking for). She also recommended traditional dining so I would have people to eat dinner with, but also explained that if I didn't feel social some nights, I could always order room service and stay in my cabin, and also took the time to explain that since it was the holidays, there would be families traveling together. I really did luck out with a terrific TA!

 

Needless to say, I went on that cruise and was hooked. I found it was a wonderful way for women to travel solo. I've also found that people on a cruise are much more willing to talk with others on the cruise than they are on a land vacation in a hotel. While I realize that ships are not crime-free, I do feel safer on a ship than I would travelling to a large city on my own. I would never go to a bar on my own on land, but feel comfortable going to the bar for cocktails on a ship. I wouldn't go for an after dinner walk around the city alone after dark, but enjoy going for a stroll around the promenade deck at night.

 

There were times that I was feeling sad and missing my husband, especially since it was the holidays and the first "anniversary," but there were also some very wonderful times meeting new people, spending time with a good book, and just sitting and watching the ocean pass by. Will there be times you'll feel lonely--probably. As a new widow, that would be understandable even when you're not on a cruise.

 

There are a lot of women who've posted about travelling solo (read some of the other threads to see how they feel) and some of the "awkward" moments they've encountered. By and large, most of the posts from solo travelers say they love travelling solo, but those that do also usually say they are comfortable alone or are not shy people.

 

Only you know if you're likely to start a conversation with others, or if you can enjoy some quiet times by yourself. Keep in mind that there are activities on board and excursions off the ship you can join and you don't have to have a "partner" to do those. Realize that you will have difficult moments, but you'll have those difficult lonely moments at home too, even with family and friends nearby. You say you're the adventurous type, so why not give it a try.

[Virtopia]

So sorry to hear about your loss; I can only imagine how difficult that must be to deal with.

 

Surprisingly, I wasn't that nervous for my first solo cruise and I think the main reason why is because it was a short sailing and I was going somewhere that was on my bucket list (Atlantis in Nassau). At that point, I was very accustomed to travelling by myself, but not in this magnitude.

 

There is nothing like making your own schedule and not having to consider anyone else and that's what I love most about solo travelling. If you want to stay in your cabin the entire time and order room service, you could do that. If you want to stay out late every night and enjoying the evening festivities, you can do that and go back to your room without having to worry about waking someone up. It's all your call. My next 4 sailings are booked as solo and to be honest, I'm looking forward to them staying that way.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do! My favourite cruise to date is my 9 night solo sailing on the Explorer.

[Faith77]

I've cruised solo for the last 5 years over the holidays. Usually I've made the cruise a big part of my Christmas/New Years holiday plans and visited with friends and family in LA and Florida before or after the cruise.

 

I'm not the most independent traveler but solo cruising is a piece of cake. All one has to do is show up. Lately I've developed my own cruise personality--I don't do formal nights anymore and just do the MDR about half the time. I think of myself as friendly but I don't think of myself as an extrovert.

 

I still do mostly ship excursions on new port to me and will go off on my own in a port I think I'll feel safe in. This year I'm doing the SF-Hawaii-SF cruise on the Grand Princess over the holidays. Having this cruise to look forward to helps me to look forward to the holiday season. Faith

[Beth Y]

My first solo cruise was a transatlantic on the Norwegian Epic, a year after I became a widow at 57. I would highly recommend the Epic to you because of its studio cabins designed for solos. There are happy hour get togethers each evening in the studio living room, and a solo coordinator who arranges dinner groups to eat in the main dining room or in the specialty restaurants. I signed up for lots of Cruise Critic activities too, and met lots of really nice people. I was very nervous about cruising on my own, but it was a great experience.

[Bonzy49]

Sorry for our loss as well.

I became a widow 17 years ago and that is when I started cruising ....BUT......Although having cruised may times I am branching out and going solo next May and longing for it! I live alone so do spend a lot of time on my own...not a problem.

 

I hope you take the plunge and above all enjoy it!!!:)

[madmarti]

I became a widow last Nov., myself. I have been thinking about a solo cruise, too. All of your posts bring out some very good points. I do feel lonely sometimes, even though I have family around. I would feel safer walking around a ship rather than in a strange city. You have encouraged me, so I will be searching for the perfect cruise. I can't think that I would never have a vacation like a cruise, again.:( My husband and I took many cruises, together. Thanks, madmarti

[bottomfeeder]

I would advise anyone to go for it! :)

 

I'm not widowed, but I was married at age 20 straight out of college and after my marriage broke up when I was 45 I was suddenly faced with being an independent adult for the first time in my life. It really took me some getting used to--although I traveled solo for work a lot for many years, I was not used to being alone for vacations. Finally I got to where I missed cruises so much (and I couldn't convince one of my kids to go with me like my son had for my first post-divorce cruise) that I took the plunge and went solo. It was a 15 day transatlantic--in for a penny, in for a pound, right?

 

It was great! I had a wonderful, relaxing time. I think if you have enjoyed cruising during your marriage, you will also enjoy it on your own. Like others said, you may feel lonely occasionally but you feel that way at home too.

 

On my last cruise I branched out a bit and did a couple of days in London solo after my cruise. It was also great although I'll admit I didn't feel comfortable out after dark...so I stayed in my hotel room then. I'm doing a couple of days in Seville alone before my next solo cruise and will probably follow the same routine. I can't wait! :)

[Castlerigg]

I am an adventurous 57 year old. My husband passed away two months ago today after a long illness. How difficult was your first solo cruise? Just wondering if I'll be lonely?

 

I am so, so sorry for your loss! My heart goes out to you. My husband passed away nearly 6 years ago...on my 57th birthday. My DH and I had taken many cruises together, and like many of the other posters, I loved cruising too much to give it up. My first cruise as a widow was a year after my husband's passing. It was bittersweet but taught me that I could cruise again as a single person. Since then I have cruised both with friends (2 of the 6 were disastrous, which taught me to choose traveling companions very carefully) and solo (excellent! so much so that I'm scheduled for 2 more solo cruises in 2014). I enjoy the companionship of others but also love the freedom of being a solo cruiser...doing what I want when I want. And as a solo cruiser, I've met many wonderful people (both couples and singles), some who have "adopted" me and invited me to join them at dinner, lunch, coffee, formal tea, tours, wine tasting, social hours, etc., which were delightful. Some moments still tug at my heart, such as when I see couples dancing or holding hands, but those poignant reminders can happen anywhere I go. And, for me, the joy of cruising...of being at sea...is a fantastic experience. :)

Linda

[wdw1972]

I'm 54 and cruise solo most of the time - I leave my husband at home!! I love cruising - he likes it, but not frequently, and not for long. He'll be cruising with me in January, which will be a few years or so since his last cruise (I've done several in the interim).

 

I guess the most important question is do you require the company of others to have a good time??? If not, you should do great as a solo cruiser. You can be with others or be alone, as you wish. I don't ever feel out of place as a solo on my (HAL) cruises.

 

We're also in north central FL (Gainesville now)....which makes it a pain driving all that way to Ft Lauderdale for most cruises!

 

Good luck whatever you decide....but I do hope you'll "go for it" ;-)

 

Sue/WDW1972

DCL Dream 11/10/13

Nieuw Amsterdam 1/5/14

[Lois R]

I'm 54 and cruise solo most of the time - I leave my husband at home!! I love cruising - he likes it, but not frequently, and not for long. He'll be cruising with me in January, which will be a few years or so since his last cruise (I've done several in the interim).

 

I guess the most important question is do you require the company of others to have a good time??? If not, you should do great as a solo cruiser. You can be with others or be alone, as you wish. I don't ever feel out of place as a solo on my (HAL) cruises.

 

We're also in north central FL (Gainesville now)....which makes it a pain driving all that way to Ft Lauderdale for most cruises!

 

Good luck whatever you decide....but I do hope you'll "go for it" ;-)

 

Sue/WDW1972

DCL Dream 11/10/13

Nieuw Amsterdam 1/5/14

 

Hi Sue:) just an FYI....we have a fun group who have been

chatting on here for many years (we live all around the state).

Here is a link if you want to come say hello....oh we are going on

a 3 night cruise in Sept out of Pt. Cananveral on Enchantment of

The Seas.....should be a fun time:)

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1442008

[Podie]

Hi, Sue, I'm right outside of Gainesville in Alachua!

 

I hope you take Lois R's invitation to the Florida Folks group. A few years ago I met someone on it who lives just two miles from me.

 

Sept. 13th on Enchantment was going to be my first solo cruise but a friend asked to come so I'll be looking for another solo opportunity. Because I'm a non-smoker and dislike smoke, I'm not sure NCL is for me but those tiny studio cabins sure remind me of my time in the Navy:eek:

 

Even when my husband cruised with me, I was solo much of the time since he wouldn't leave the cabin once early dinner was over. So maybe I'll handle it just fine when the time comes.

[wdw1972]

Hi Podie - I did check out the FL board, but didn't post. I get to the boards at most weekly (either Sat or Sun), and pretty much cruise HAL exclusively. I like their product, it feels like home, blah blah blah ;-) I'll try to remember to check in over there from time to time, and thank you Lois for the invite!

 

I did one NCL cruise back in the days of dinosaurs, and don't care to do another. I've seen many of their ships in port, and that reinforces my "not for me" opinion. That said, I have friends who do fine on NCL. I know I'd spend the entire cruise bitching about picky little things that I'm used to that they don't have, so I'll stick with HAL unless they drive me away somehow! Are they a heavy smoker cruise line???? Smelling cigarette smoke or its residue/stench is one of my major pet peeves too. Nothing is more disgusting (to me)!

 

I absolutey LOVE solo cruising, but then I'm pretty comfortable with my own company. Some cruises I meet other people and hang out with them at times. Other cruises I don't really meet anyone, and that's fine too. I don't let being solo keep me from anything I *really* want to do, and in "waiting" situations (for a show, at the specialty restaurant or lido) I bring my kindle and do some reading to pass the time.

 

I'm actually sort of itching for another solo cruise. Nov 2012 I took my adult son on the 10-day Noordam (the price for a verandah was 200% as a solo, so it was a no-brainer), then in March 2013 I cruised HAL solo but with friends in the stateroom next door. November this year I'm doing a 4-night Disney cruise with a Disney friend, then in January my 7-night HAL cruise is with my husband, and the friends from March are in the stateroom next door. I'm hoping to book November 2014 while on board in January, and go solo.....then join friends (in our separate staterooms) in 2015 on HAL again.

 

Sue/WDW1972

[Noreen411]

Hi Podie

 

So sorry for your loss. I can completely understand how you feel. I lost my husband unexpected of a heart attack at 42 years old. That was 2 1/2 years ago. He died 12/18/10

 

We had a cruise booked for February 2011 (less than 2 months after he died). I wasn't sure what to do. I had joined the roll call for the cruise and talked about what I was going through. I ended up chatting with a great bunch of people that convinced me to go on the cruise. I had all sorts of contingency plans in place in case I was miserable and wanted to get off the ship and go home.

 

I went and had a really good time. The group of people I met were wonderful. I made some lifelong friends that I have travelled with since then and continue to travel with, spend time with, etc.

 

While I was very nervous to go and meet these people for the first time, I'm so glad I did it.

 

I wrote a trip report for that cruise - it was Explorer of the Seas in February 2011 that goes into detail about what it was like to go by myself.

 

I hope you give it a try.

 

Noreen

[kitty9]

My deepest sympathies/

 

I did my first solo cruise in Europe, on Seabourn. I was quite nervous, especially after flying solo from Chicago to Nice and staying in a European hotel all alone for two days. But it was fantastic, I had an absolutely wonderful time and met some great people. And now, I've done more than 35 cruises solo, literally all over the world, including some cruises of 35 days.

 

Once you get over the initial shakes, you'll have a fantastic time and you'll be hooked forever.

[Podie]

I really appreciate everyone's condolences and advice. Isn't CC great?:)

[janetlm]

Isn't CC great?:)

 

Yes, it is!! :)

[crusinpsychRN]

My anxiety regarding cruising solo was all self imposed. I'd been cruising with my kids until they went to college and wasn't sure about silly things like sitting alone in the terminal! Trust me, no one else cares how you're traveling.

 

I had a great time doing what I wanted when I wanted, didn't trip over anyone's size 13 shoes left on the floor and didn't have to wade through gobs of makeup and gadgets on the counter.

 

I went to a lot of trivia games and had fun on excursions. Dinners could be hit or miss with tablemates and a few times I did change tables. (Once a former patient and her much older boyfriend were seated with me!)

 

I found it easy to find a single seat in the theater even if I went a little late.

 

I'm spoiled now and several times others have asked to go with me and I tell them they have to have their own cabin!

[LizG12]

my first solo cruise was 6 months after my husband passed away (it wasn't my first cruise though, we'd done maybe 2 dozen cruises together) It was, honestly, THE best thing I could've done. And remember, except for the cabin steward, and maybe the dining room staff when they do the 'check in' at the host station, no one else knows you're traveling solo. For all they know, you're traveling in a group of 10 and you're the only one in the group who likes the piano bar.

 

Take the cruise, and enjoy being pampered, and let the crew take care of YOU

[critterchick]

My condolences to everybody who has lost a loved one. I am married but have more time off than DH so have gone on a few solo cruises. I have done both flexible and anytime dining, and have had mixed results with both - overall I prefer flexible and ask to be seated at a table with people who want to share. Otherwise, I can amuse myself anywhere onboard that I would have DH with me - the shows, lounges, casino, etc. For solo cruising I would be more likely to book excursions in exotic locales with a group rather than wandering on my own. But I have no qualms about wandering in ports that I've visited before - I just refresh my recollection about areas to avoid.

 

And I confess to loving having my own cabin - it is sometimes a tough adjustment to get back to having a roommate. I realize that my perspective is different, but it is a touch of luxury for me to be solo for a few days. He probably feels the same way.:)

 

I highly recommend that, after you find a ship and itinerary that look interesting, you check out the Roll Call and see if you can get a feeling for your fellow Cruise Critics. You may find other solo cruisers who are willing to link their reservations with you for dinner, or excursions that you can book into with the CC group. This website is a great resource, indeed.

[ChiGal1962]

To answer the basic question, my first solo cruise was amazing! It was just last year, 15 nights on a Panama Canal cruise. Loved every minute of it (ok, really probably loves 98.3% of the minutes, but you know ...)

 

Now that said, I come from a very different place. Never married, lived alone since shortly after college, so I'm used to my own company. I vacation with friends or family when they're available, and it's often great. They have their own lives, so not always an option.

 

I have done non-cruise vacations alone in the past, and really not liked it much. Felt extremely awkward.

 

The difference is that cruises have built in groups with similar interests, whether it's activities you like (trivia!) or dinner at a table (tables of 6-8 are ideal for me) or just seeing the same people hang out at the same bar listening to the same singer every evening just before dinner and just chatting with them. I found that I had as much group time as I wanted AND as much alone time as I wanted. Plus I maintain plausible deniability about the snoring issue :D Perfection.