Dining Room Table Anxiety

[tallnthensome]

Why be shy? Simply ask the table how everyone is enjoying their cruise, which tours they took, and past cruises to interesting places, where they are from and everyone is sure to open up real quick and share. Breaks the ice prettty easily and other conversation flows from there.

[Luv06012012]

Aw thank you :)

 

I am definitely going to have to try it next time, I think it's not knowing what to expect which is worrying me and also I guess I'm scared I'd make a fool of myself with other people round the table!

 

You are not alone! I get anxiety and if it weren't for my husband I would have a harder time joining strangers for dinner. Once I get past that first initial night, I feel better and if things are bad we can always request to be moved.

[beccaseraph7]

We have been on 2 cruises and both times we tried the dining room with bad results.

 

The first time... we had a bigger table, I can't remember if it was 8 or 10, but basically everyone ignored us and talked between each other. I am kind of shy and apparently so was the couple sitting directly next to us (we were on the end) and they didn't really talk and the rest of the table just talked like the four of us weren't there. My husband is friendly and kept trying to engage the other "shy" couple but they wouldn't engage.

 

The second cruise we were placed with a couple around our age (mid 20's) and an older couple (40's or 50's). The older couple was overly nice, but they kept trying to track us down the entire cruise when we stopped going to the dining room after the first night... nice but a bit pushy.... trying to nag us to come back.. we didn't want to be rude, but after the 3rd time they "randomly found us" it started to feel creepy. The reason we stopped going to the dining room was because of couple one... they were our age but they had nothing in common with us and kept talking about guns and politics and stuff with the older couple (and wouldn't let the conversation turn when we attempted it; they appeared not to care what we wanted after we went around the table and told what we did for a living... at the time my husband had a a "lowly" job *at least in their eyes* and they apparently seemed to think they were better than us... being engineer's). It was a Valentine's Day cruise so we decided to just eat specialty the rest of the cruise.

 

We are finally going on a few cruises again! We decided to do MTD and make sure we sit alone.... not really up for trying again after those.

Edited April 8, 2015 by beccaseraph7

[barbeyg]

I'm usually really nervous the first night. DH doesn't have that problem, thank goodness. But, we have been fortunate so far, and have ended up with some great friends (one couple from our very first cruise may go on our next with us).

 

We still ask for a large table, and hope for the best. [emoji4]

[Natmom]

I have quite bad social anxiety, so have never ate in the main dining room, on the past 4 cruises I've been on we've always ate in the windjammer but I'm hoping to gain the confidence and try the main dining room on our transatlantic crossing next year!

 

 

I'm with you! I get petrified thinking about talking all through dinner with strangers. I'm just too self conscious

[GiggleBee]

I'm with you! I get petrified thinking about talking all through dinner with strangers. I'm just too self conscious

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one :)

 

It's strange though as I went to the card making classes and stuff on my last cruise with my family and made a few friends (some I'm still in contact with now) although the thought of that was a bit scary at first!

 

I think the setting in the MDR is a lot... posher, or at least when I view it through the door it seems that it is and I worry I'll stick out like a sore thumb and then the thought of other people sitting with me that I don't know, in this setting is just another thing on top to make me feel uncomfortable and self conscious.

[Lonzay]

We tried MTD last year, because we didn't want to commit to a certain time. We usually do the the late seating. The first night we had a table for two. We were surprised we weren't seated with others(which we prefer). Next night we ask to be at a larger table . We always meet people with great stories from all over the world. We also have meet some fun couples while waiting for our table , as we never make reservations . One time we were chatting with a couple and their niece . It turned out that they were all from England . The niece was working on the ship and the couple was touring the U.S. , taking the cruise to visit their niece . They invited us to join them for dinner when they were called for their table, perfect. As it turned out, she was the lead in the musical on the ship! She had to leave early to get ready for the show and I think she glad her aunt and uncle were not to be left alone. We had a great time. We were actually seeing the show that night, her English acsent was replaced with a Chicago street acsent for the show. It was weirdly amazing after listening to her speaking in a awesome English acsent at dinner😊 We had a blast with her aunt and uncle for the remainder of dinner before the show,as it turned out we were all in our early 50's.

We also met other couples on other nights while waiting a few minutes(sometime the same couples). Lots of fun!

[mets07]

We have had a variety of experiences, but mostly positive. Our favorite was our second or third cruise - we were at a table of 11: my husband and I and our two teenage sons -- we live in NJ and are originally from NY, a couple from Brooklyn about the same age also with a teenage son and a third couple about the same age... they were from Ireland and had two children, younger than ours. Somehow it was almost magical, laughing every night over stories until we were crying, the guy from Brooklyn belting out O Sole Mio (beautifully) at the end of one dinner when we were almost the only ones left in the MDR, etc. Even our sons loved it and enjoyed talking to the two kids from Ireland --- and their parents were blown away that these American teenage boys were so nice to their children. Quite memorable.

 

Years later, we tend to do MTD but often end up gabbing with people at nearby tables.

[CrusieToy]

Let me just start by saying that I *love* the Main Dining Room, and I love making friends with people on cruises. I'm a chatty kathy, and a bit of a lush - they go hand in hand.

 

One of the best ways to do this is by opting to share a big table in the Main Dining Room. You, your partner/friend, and six other strangers. What could go wrong?

 

The last cruise I was on, aboard Liberty OTS, we shared a table with three other couples who were all the same age as us (does RCCL do that on purpose?) and it was great. We all got on like a house on fire, ate together and partied together each night.

 

But I've had a couple of dodgy experiences too:

• The time a Portugese man asked me to show him how to use a knife and fork (seriously)
  
• The time someone sat at our table said they were a bio-engineer, so I struck up a conversation about stem-cell research and I was shouted down for "promoting abortion".
  
• The time where a couple, whose names I don't remember, joined us as far as drinks on the first night then asked to change tables.
  

 

But on the whole I think the good vastly outweighs the possible bad. It's just that anxiety - hoping you get another epic table of fun people.

 

Anyone else get this?

 

Sometimes - but we have been really lucky so far.. Out of 15 cruises I think we changed tables once.

[EagleAction]

On our first cruise my husband & I were 26 and newly engaged. The first night we were the first ones to arrive at a long table that must have sat 12. We sat against the window across from each other and another couple came and sat next to us. The woman had just graduated from college and the cruise was her graduation present from her parents. The man was her boyfriend and a college football player who had one more year of school. Another couple showed up and sat at the other end of the table & never said a word to us. No one else came. We got a notice the next day that our table assignment had changed. When we arrived at dinner, we were at a table for 6 with the couple that we had sat next to the previous night. We laughed because we all thought when we got the reassignment notice - that the other had requested a change! We were confused because we thought we had a nice dinner! That night the football player couldn't decide on an entrée so my husband said "why don't you get two"?" He didn't know that you could do that and from then on out - he got two of everything. Needless to say he was a big guy & I really enjoyed watching him enjoy so much food because as much as I like to eat I get full quickly!

 

The second cruise we were in our early 30's and I was newly pregnant so no drinking for me. We were two other couples also in their 30's. As it turned out the two couples were both from the same neighborhood in Chicago but didn't know each other. They could not have been more different. One couple was a party couple and the other ones were pretty straight laced. They did not like each other at all. The party couple told some pretty hilarious & outrageous stories and the other couple seem horrified! My husband & I felt like we were caught in the middle & it was awkward at times. The straight laced couple were given a bottle of white wine the first night from their TA. Each night the woman would have a half glass of wine and then the bottle went back to wherever it came. If I wasn't pregnant and this was our bottle of wine - it would have been gone in one dinner! My husband was like "Where does the wine go back to each night?" This was all in good fun - obviously drinking was just not their thing & that's fine. Who knows maybe she was pregnant too and didn't say anything just like I didn't say anything! On the last night she still had well over half a bottle of wine & before the party couple showed up she gave the whole bottle to my husband saying "we are never going to finish this - take it". I still laugh thinking about those two couples & their disdain for each other.

 

Our next cruise we have MTD with our two children. I supposed we will be feeding them early in the Windjammer and then dining while they are at the kids club. I can't imagine my kids wanting anything to do with the formality of the main dining room! We will probably request to sit with others - I think it's fun!

[tserface]

I have quite bad social anxiety, so have never ate in the main dining room, on the past 4 cruises I've been on we've always ate in the windjammer but I'm hoping to gain the confidence and try the main dining room on our transatlantic crossing next year!

 

 

We'd be happy to have you sit with us too! I hope you give it a try. Cruisers are not scary at all.

 

Tom

[Justmekaren918]

I just know the last time I signed for a table 3/4's nevered showed[emoji33]! I did however get to talk to 2 nice girls 1 night and 3 college students 2 other nights. I have just done WJ last trips! This past trip I was a tad under the weather, and just staying away from people; though not a carrier! What a freaking bust of a trip!

[dancingranni]

Our very first cruise, about 17 years ago, due to a last minute opening,we were invited to go with a large The first night we were to sit at a large table with some of the group. We were asked if we minded being moved to another table so that a couple from their "group" could sit there, and we complied. We were moved to a 4 top and seated with an elderly couple celebrating their 60th anniversary! At first we were like...:eek: Well...we wouldn't trade that experience for anything. They were absolutely delightful and we enjoyed our nightly dining with them very much. I think of them often.

 

Our second cruise a couple of years later was on the Radiance. We checked out the dining room early and found we were to be seated at a table for 8. I asked if we could possibly be seated at a table by a window. Well...they obliged us!!!!!! :o We were seated at a table for 8 ,by a window, with a very large group (many tables) of Jewish families who had to have special meals, special wrapped tableware and even special scissors to cut open the packaging.

WAIT...don't flame me yet!

The family we sat with was very nice, and we enjoyed them. However due to their traditions, dining was a really long process. And because they were families...it was the atmosphere of a large , boisterous family get-together. Nothing wrong with it..it just wasn't a good fit.

Soooooo.....we asked to be seated at our original table the second night. This ended up perfectly. We met 2 other couples our age, we all hit it off and spent a lot of time together throughout the cruise.

However, I have to say I have always felt badly due to the fact that I never explained to the family we sat with the first night, why we left them.

[GiggleBee]

We'd be happy to have you sit with us too! I hope you give it a try. Cruisers are not scary at all.

 

Tom

 

Thank you :) After reading some of the posts on here and hearing about some of the lovely people that everyone has met I think I'm going to brave it next year and give it a go.

[PositiveLad]

Good for you!!!

 

And as others have said, if it gets too much there are tables for two - you could move to one of those. :)

[Dr.A]

Good for you!!!

 

And as others have said, if it gets too much there are tables for two - you could move to one of those. :)

 

My wife and I (also a woman) are going on our first cruise in December and we have been discussing MDR options. I guess we might give it a go once and see what we think. The people I socialize with are all straight and range from 25 to 69 so we should be alright in the MDR. :)

[Enforcer]

Hi All,

 

It's the meeting up with someone that the village is missing that bothers us about sitting on large tables in the MDR. We meet and chat with so many people during the day we love the time in the evening that we have together.

 

Last cruise we went on we had breakfast in the MDR, which we regularly do, sat at a table for 8, 6 of us had been seated and I was talking to a lady when another couple arrived, before he had sat down he asked me "what do you do for a living" as I was in mid conversation I ignored him but he persisted and asked again, I replied "I'm retired" but he kept at it, he hadn't sat down by this time, when I finished talking to the lady I told him what I used to work as. Another of the couple were Sikhs, he started to ask them questions which they were obviously uncomfortable with, one of them being "do you pray in a mosque" she replied "no a temple" to which they basically turned their backs on him. His wife was a lovely person though.

Throughout the cruise we kept meeting his wife and had some nice chats with her but we would make our excuses when he arrived on the scene.

 

Pete

[john watson]

I always opt for a shared table of the largest size. It's amazing that we have been put on a table for two three times! The funniest time was when at the next table were a big family of twenty three people on a table that had been specially created I assume. They were very noisy, all came from Long Island and the "main man" was just like Bilko in every respect. I found it extremely entertaining particularly on the nights my daughter was not dining with me. The main man's wife kept apologising for his behaviour which I assured her was no problem whatsoever.

 

I did get a table of eight on a transatlantic; so it's myself and cruising buddy, a family of four (mum, dad, little boy and girl), and an unusual couple man and woman. The woman said she was the fiancee whereas the man said it was just his cruising buddy. He had some funny stories as a coach driver in UK, had a blind man board with dog. Once seated the driver borrowed the blind man's stuff and sat in the driving seat welcoming people on board. One person complained to the bus company and he was suspended for a week.

 

The fewest people on the table was two when my buddy went to buffet, the driver guy was ill, and the family upgraded. So it was just his lady and me on a table for eight.

 

Second to last night of cruise; full house everybody there eating. Just at the start of main course little boy stands up and announces he feels sick. A second later vomits directly onto middle of table. Pandemonium; Maitre D comes over, doctor comes over, waiters all get us to back up clear of table. The family gets taken away, I tell the mother not to worry, she says they are going to be quarantined and have all their stuff specially laundered. Table gets stripped, all our food is removed, the table linen gets bagged up by staff in masks and gloves, they seal everything up and take it all away. We are down to the bare wood on the table. Then they start putting the new table cloth back on laying up with cutlery. Replacement main courses get delivered and we start eating again. The mother comes in to confirm it was just sea sickness so quarantine no going to happen. So I say that I will see them tomorrow then. And we carried on as if nothing had happened.

 

I never worry about who my table companions are going to be, whoever they are they are always interesting in some way I find. You need to be a little thick skinned and non-judgemental and you will be fine.

 

Regards John

[Alohaaloha]

Hi All,

 

It's the meeting up with someone that the village is missing that bothers us about sitting on large tables in the MDR. We meet and chat with so many people during the day we love the time in the evening that we have together.

 

Last cruise we went on we had breakfast in the MDR, which we regularly do, sat at a table for 8, 6 of us had been seated and I was talking to a lady when another couple arrived, before he had sat down he asked me "what do you do for a living" as I was in mid conversation I ignored him but he persisted and asked again, I replied "I'm retired" but he kept at it, he hadn't sat down by this time, when I finished talking to the lady I told him what I used to work as. Another of the couple were Sikhs, he started to ask them questions which they were obviously uncomfortable with, one of them being "do you pray in a mosque" she replied "no a temple" to which they basically turned their backs on him. His wife was a lovely person though.

Throughout the cruise we kept meeting his wife and had some nice chats with her but we would make our excuses when he arrived on the scene.

 

Pete

This made me smile Pete- I believe we met the same couple, or certainly a similar couple with the same attitude- and that was at a breakfast in the MDR too! We spent the rest of the cruise avoiding him and his wife and their boastful tales, and we noticed wherever they were sat there were plenty of seats round them however packed a venue- seems like more than us were avoiding them.

[mcatmcat]

To be honest, I don't go to a cruise to make new friends. The cruise offers so much to do that I really focus on my love one , family , and friends. Of course I'm not going to be rude if someone speak to me but the conversation won't last more than 5 minutes. I treat my stateroom the same way I treat my dinner table, a place for family and friends that boarded the ship with me. I always request a table for my friends or family depending who I'm sailing with. If I want to make new friends I know where to go to the ship but the dinner table won't be a place to make new friends

[CruiseMGM]

This has been quite an interesting thread and I've enjoyed reading it, even though my stress level has increased with all the stories, LOL!

 

I'm super shy and always ask for a table for 2 (or for the appropriate number if we're traveling with others), but we don't often get what we ask for. In fact, I would love to know how a previous poster gets confirmation and even a table number, etc., from the cruiseline, that's awesome! It would take away so much anxiety if I knew in advance that we had a table for 2!

 

Anyway, our first Alaska cruise on Celebrity, we got seated at a table for 8, but only 6 ever showed. One couple was really nice (as are we, of course, :D ). One couple was the most unpleasant, bickering, nasty people I've ever met. We took that for one night and ate the rest of our meals in the buffet (we sometimes saw the "nice" couple there, too). Didn't really know at the time that you could request to be moved. First RCI cruise, we and BIL/SIL were going to be seated at a table for 10 or 12 and we ALL had panic attacks over that. We managed to switch to a table for 6, and the couple we sat with were very nice, although we didn't really have much in common with them. Unfortunately, the BIL and SIL are even more shy than I am, and so it was pretty much left to me to make conversation with the other couple. Egads. Thankfully, DH tried the Flowrider, and the wife of the other couple loved the Flowrider, so conversation picked up after that, LOL! And finally, we decided to attend the returning Mariner's lunch on HAL one trip, and we were seated at a table with a nice gay couple, the 2 of us, and I think 6 very little tiny VERY elderly people. I had a great conversation with the couple, but poor DH was sitting by this little lady who could barely reach the table seated on a phone book (ok, I exaggerate a tiny bit) and pretty much needed help cutting her tomato soup (another tiny exaggeration). I'm afraid we haven't attended another returning anything luncheon since then.

 

Anyway, all were interesting experiences, but we much prefer a table for 2, and we really, really hope we can get that on our upcoming cruises. If not, then there's always alternative dining..... buffet, room service or specialty.

 

Best wishes to all!

[CruiseMGM]

<snip>

And finally, we decided to attend the returning Mariner's lunch on HAL one trip, and we were seated at a table with a nice gay couple, the 2 of us, and I think 6 very little tiny VERY elderly people. I had a great conversation with the couple, but poor DH was sitting by this little lady who could barely reach the table seated on a phone book (ok, I exaggerate a tiny bit) and pretty much needed help cutting her tomato soup (another tiny exaggeration). I'm afraid we haven't attended another returning anything luncheon since then.

 

 

I should have added that it wasn't the size of the people at the table that was an issue, it was that the little lady sitting next to DH apparently took a shine to him, and kept a conversation going for the entire meal......but because she spoke in such a breathy whisper, he couldn't hear a single thing she said altho he was bent over at the waist (seated) to try to keep his ear close enough to catch a word or two. I'm not exactly sure what he might have agreed to during the long exchange, but she definitely kept her eye on him as we were leaving the dining room! :confused: LOL!

 

Best wishes!

[mcatmcat]

I should have added that it wasn't the size of the people at the table that was an issue, it was that the little lady sitting next to DH apparently took a shine to him, and kept a conversation going for the entire meal......but because she spoke in such a breathy whisper, he couldn't hear a single thing she said altho he was bent over at the waist (seated) to try to keep his ear close enough to catch a word or two. I'm not exactly sure what he might have agreed to during the long exchange, but she definitely kept her eye on him as we were leaving the dining room! :confused: LOL!

 

 

 

Best wishes!

 

 

I'm reading CC while I'm stopped at the red light and I know I won't have that much time to give you the exact email address, but there is an email from royal that you can make the request for a table of 2. Or just search "!table for 2" in cruise critics

That's what I always do and I always get a table size of my preference

[Clarea]

I'm reading CC while I'm stopped at the red light and I know I won't have that much time to give you the exact email address, but there is an email from royal that you can make the request for a table of 2. Or just search "!table for 2" in cruise critics

That's what I always do and I always get a table size of my preference

rcldining@rccl.com

[DeltaOne]

We've had a range of table mates over nine cruises. A few highlights I remember:

 

1) With another couple, wife was the classic "Seinfeld" low-talker. They looked at us like we had three heads whenever we'd put salt or pepper on our food.

 

2) Large table, including one couple from England. Late dining, our table was always the last to leave -- we talked and laughed a lot!

 

3) Large table including a husband, wife and teen age son. Teen age son got frog legs as an appetizer. Ate the meat, bones -- everything! The husband insisted the waiter have a small plate of cut-up jalapeño peppers waiting for him each night. And the husband would order each entree -- some he'd eat, some he'd take a bite and push it away.

 

My tip for large tables: folks tend to sit in the same seats each night. We'd always arrive early and sit in different seats. That way you weren't "stuck" next to the same person for the entire cruise.