Afraid to cruise

[celebrity]

Princess offers the Bon Voyage Experience. It's only offered on some ships at some ports. Can roam the ship, have lunch and debarked before muster. IIRC available in San Pedro, CA. It's just under $40/pp, money is then used towards a cruise.

 

I doubt that would help someone terrified of cruising. In all like likelihood, she has a fear of being trapped on a ship at sea with no way to escape.

 

I cannot stand flying as I'm claustrophobic. I had managed flights to Fla, PR and Mexico but my dream trip was a Med cruise. The thought of flying overseas was enough to create a full blown panic attack until one day I decided that I have a greater fear of never seeing Italy, Turkey, etc.

 

I was determined to bite the bullet and face my fears ( with Xanax). :)

In the weeks leading up to the cruise, I lost my appetite, had insomnia and stressed beyond belief and yet I marched forward.

 

When it was time to board the flight, I almost passed out.

Keep in mind, this was MY choice to face my fears and there is no one that could ever have talked me into such a long flight.

 

Once I arrived in Barcelona, I felt such relief and enjoyed every minute of the cruise.

Flying back was much easier as I rationalized that if I did it once I could do it again.

I've booked another Med cruise for next year and I'm hoping I don't suffer the same level of anxiety prior to flying again.

 

Her family needs to go without her. Not as a punishment, but simply because they shouldn't put their lives on hold due to her fears.

 

For those blessed with no anxiety issues, please know that those that suffer really wish they weren't burdened with the affliction.

[Langley Cruisers]

For those blessed with no anxiety issues, please know that those that suffer really wish they weren't burdened with the affliction.

 

Thank you, agreed, and thank you for sharing your story.

[donaldsc]

Leave them alone. Why do you consider that it is your business whether they cruise or not. Seems like you are sticking your nose in where it does not belong. Why do people who enjoy cruising figure that everyone else in the world has to also enjoy cruising.

 

DON

Edited June 28, 2015 by donaldsc

[lahlah57]

Leave them alone. Why do you consider that it is your business whether they cruise or not. Seems like you are sticking your nose in where it does not belong. Why do people who enjoy cruising figure that everyone else in the world has to also enjoy cruising.

 

DON

 

Because the original poster asked and wanted an opinion......DON..

[capncarp]

My contribution to the conversation is this:

If all else fails, go without her. That being said, I heartily concur with the attempts at a "desensitivation" process of visiting moored large ships, slow acclimatization by small field trips (perhaps a ferry or an amusement park ride), some therapy and possibly anti-anxiety meds to make all possible attempts to include her, assuming she is willing to meet you part of the way. But absolutely _NO_ guilt trips.

[donaldsc]

Because the original poster asked and wanted an opinion......DON..

 

I do not see anything in the original post that suggests that family of the cruise-fearing wife has asked for the OP's help in convincing her to cruise. Do you? If so, where.

 

Seems like the OP has decided to help where no help was requested.

 

DON

[GUT2407]

Now way I'd try and force her.

 

Maybe she'd be open to a one or two dayer.

 

Or go without her.

[Cruisin' Chick]

For those blessed with no anxiety issues, please know that those that suffer really wish they weren't burdened with the affliction.

 

Exactly. My hubby had constantly tried to get me to learn how to swim. Actually, I had taken lessons as a kid, but still couldn't get over the feeling of claustrophobia if completely submerged in water back then and even now. He tried to guilt me into more lessons when we were considering kids, but the set of lessons I took around then just got me injured with a neck sprain. Fortunately, our daughter took to water better than I did. I know he wasn't being malicious, but that guilt didn't work on me.

 

I also have a deep fear of flying. My parents and sister left for a trip to Asia the day after I graduated from high school while I stayed home by myself. Didn't go on a plane until a couple of years later when a group I belonged to flew to San Francisco. I think since then I may have been on about 11-12 round trips (all domestic) in 61 years. So not many times compared to some other people without the fear. But always something I have to force myself to do. I wouldn't want to guilt someone to do the same if they are that fearful. It's a real anxiety or phobia.

 

I wasn't looking to do a cruise (even had a chance for a free cruise), but eventually went on my first one (other than trips around the marina and the cruise across to Catalina) when I started dating a guy who had already been on a cruise (and eventually married). I was able to reconcile this type of vacation as I didn't have to go underwater.

 

So for the OP, just let the co-worker to work things out. I hope he realizes it wouldn't be fair to the wife to guilt her. If she's that anxious, she might not have fun. And guilting her isn't the answer. A good idea would be for the husband to set up some fun thing for her to do (if she's into spas, and willing, offer to book one of those luxury spas or a hotel stay that has treatments, for example). Maybe she wants some solitude. Many couples have separate vacations anyway.

 

And when the family gets home, again, guilt should be avoided. If she wants to look at the photos or hear about the trip, great. But saying that she really missed the trip of a lifetime, or something similar, might make her feel bad (but not to the point that she'll change her mind).

 

And as others have said, I wouldn't say anything to the co-worker unless he specifically asks for your advice.

[horseymike]

If someone has a fear of cruising, it would not be good to force it on them.

Maybe the rest of the family could go or find something different to do.

[SantaFeFan]

If someone has a fear of cruising, it would not be good to force it on them.

Maybe the rest of the family could go or find something different to do.

 

Finding something else to do would be a bad precedent. It would be setting a bad example if everyone else in the family has to do what one member wants, and can't do what they want. In this case, a member is afraid of being on water, so everyone else in the family has to miss out.

 

It's not fair to the rest of the family. The family member who has the fear must know she shouldn't be dictating what everyone else can or cannot do and should encourage the others to go without her.

Edited June 29, 2015 by SantaFeFan

[John Bull]

I do not see anything in the original post that suggests that family of the cruise-fearing wife has asked for the OP's help in convincing her to cruise. Do you? If so, where.

 

Seems like the OP has decided to help where no help was requested.

 

DON

 

Yes, some posters haven't noticed that the OP was asking on behalf of a co-worker & her family. No mention of whether the OP is even involved in the proposed cruise.

 

JB :)

[lahlah57]

Finding something else to do would be a bad precedent. It would be setting a bad example if everyone else in the family has to do what one member wants, and can't do what they want. In this case, a member is afraid of being on water, so everyone else in the family has to miss out.

 

It's not fair to the rest of the family. The family member who has the fear must know she shouldn't be dictating what everyone else can or cannot do and should encourage the others to go without her.

 

Agreed wholeheartedly!!!!

[sloopsailor]

Yes, some posters haven't noticed that the OP was asking on behalf of a co-worker & her family. No mention of whether the OP is even involved in the proposed cruise.

 

JB :)

 

And no mention that he hasn't been asked by that co-worker for advice, either.

Edited June 29, 2015 by sloopsailor

[wwcruisers]

My DH and I took our very first cruises, back when my dear departed father was still alive. He was not afraid of the water (or anything else, that I ever knew of). But, no matter how hard we tried, we could not convince him to go on a cruise with us. His answer was that he had crossed the Pacific on a troop ship, back in WWII. He said that particular voyage was enough time at sea, to last him a lifetime!

 

So, no matter whether it's fear or loathing, when it comes to the water -- cruising simply isn't for everyone!

Edited June 29, 2015 by wwcruisers

[kirian]

Lots of great advice posted so far on this thread. One thing I might add though... if she ever decides she wants to work on overcoming her fear, it's important that she be able to pinpoint what exactly it is that she is of. For example, is she afraid of feeling confined/trapped on the ship? Is she afraid of being seasick? Is she afraid of the ship sinking? etc...

 

For example, I am afraid of flying. A previous poster mention his/her fear as well, but stated it was because of claustrophobia (understandable). For me, this doesn't play a role at all in my fear of flying. I'm not terribly afraid of heights either... so again, it's not being up in the plane that scars me. What scars me is the thought of the plane crashing (which, as are most fears, is irrational since I "know" it's a very safe way to travel)

 

A good friend of mine had traveled the world, but was afraid to cruise. In her case, it was because she was terrified of being motion sick the entire time. It was important for her to pinpoint this as being the cause of her fear when she decided she wanted to try to overcome it (which she eventually did :). So, just like her, should your friend decide (and it has to be her decision) that she wants to work to overcome this fear, the first step is identifying the precise aspect of cruising that frightens her so much.

 

Best of luck to her!!!!!

Melissa

[Cruisin' Chick]

My DH and I took our very first cruises, back when my dear departed father was still alive. He was not afraid of the water (or anything else, that I ever knew of). But, no matter how hard we tried, we could not convince him to go on a cruise with us. His answer was that he had crossed the Pacific on a troop ship, back in WWII. He said that particular voyage was enough time at sea, to last him a lifetime!

 

So, no matter whether it's fear or loathing, when it comes to the water -- cruising simply isn't for everyone!

 

My father had crossed the Pacific to serve in a MASH unit in Asia (I have a cigar box of items documenting his trip) and had no desire at all to go on a cruise. But he had traveled quite a bit with my mother to Europe, Israel, and even to Asia (my sister too -- as I said, I stayed at home during that time).

[wwcruisers]

My father had crossed the Pacific to serve in a MASH unit in Asia (I have a cigar box of items documenting his trip) and had no desire at all to go on a cruise. But he had traveled quite a bit with my mother to Europe' date=' Israel, and even to Asia (my sister too -- as I said, I stayed at home during that time).[/quote']

 

Yep, my Dad loved to travel -- and had no problems with flying, driving, or even train travel. You just couldn't get him near a ship! ;)

[Cruise a holic]

I have a coworker who's wife is deathly afraid of being on the water. The family all wants to go on a cruise but the wife so far refuses. Any suggestions to how they can possibly convince her to try it.

 

I suggest that you consider another type of vacation.

[SantaFeFan]

I suggest that you consider another type of vacation.

 

Why should the OP consider another type of vacation? It isn't him or his family who has the fear of being on water. It is a co-worker's wife! :confused::confused:

[Cruise a holic]

Why should the OP consider another type of vacation? It isn't him or his family who has the fear of being on water. It is a co-worker's wife! :confused::confused:

I was of the impression that the op was interested in traveling together with the person who has the phobia. If not, of course they should cruise!

[Cruisin' Chick]

I have a coworker who's wife is deathly afraid of being on the water. The family all wants to go on a cruise but the wife so far refuses. Any suggestions to how they can possibly convince her to try it.

 

Why should the OP consider another type of vacation? It isn't him or his family who has the fear of being on water. It is a co-worker's wife! :confused::confused:

 

Yep, going by the OP, the topic is a co-worker and family, nothing about the OP going with them.

[capncarp]

I have a coworker who's wife is deathly afraid of being on the water. The family all wants to go on a cruise but the wife so far refuses. Any suggestions to how they can possibly convince her to try it.

 

It would seem from the original post quoted above that the OP is trying to help out his coworker-and-family, so he came to his cruising community cohorts (us) to try to come up with possible solutions, which we have generously provided of numerous types.

To thump someone else's drum again, it all comes down to how intractable this loved one's fear is and how far, if at all, they are willing to try to deal with it to go along on the cruise. And, what fallout will the the family encounter from taking the cruise without the thalassophobic party coming along? That puts it squarely upon the shoulders of the coworker and family; OP is merely a well-intentioned purveyor of our freely-given options and sources.

[Haoie]

A fear of cruising often stems from a lack of understanding of modern ships and their features.

 

I love Titanic [great movie], but woe to be someone who's only experience with cruise ships is watching that! Or Posideon, or Speed 2, etc etc

[lahlah57]

It kills me that one would base whether to or not to do something because of a movie....SHEESH!

[PTMary]

It kills me that one would base whether to or not to do something because of a movie....SHEESH!

 

Why do you even care? It's their choice, and has no affect on you, so why does it matter what they make their decisions on? :confused::confused:

Edited June 30, 2015 by PTMary