Jump to content

Redneck Review of an Hawaiian Cruise; no photos, no videos; just plain talk


RedneckBob
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi y'all, RedneckBob hear !

 

Me and the misses, Thelma, just completed our first Hawaiiin cruise and our first cruise on Princess; usually sale on HAL or Oceania. We chose to go on one of those boats that is named from a precious and erotic stones; not Diamond, Sapphire, Emerald but RUBY !

 

I guess if Princess decides to go to one of those low budget cruise ship it would be called the Cubic Zirconia Princess.

 

Well, back to our experience. This was the largest boat we had ever been on; over 3000 passengers; more people than in the town I grew up in in southern Alabama. We were traveling with friends from the LA area (Los Angeles), Fred and Ethel. They had suggested this cruise.

 

Embarking: We got on the boat in a place called San Pedro and boy were there a lot of people in the terminal; I would estimate over 1000 ready to board. We waited over an hour and a half before we got on the boat and went right to our cabin.

 

Cabin: We had one of those mini suites. Don't know why it's called that. Doesn't sound luxurious. I mean I heard of a mini Cooper and a mini mouse and a mini me but a mini suite. Hal calls their smaller suites Vista or Signature and Oceania called them Penthouse; now that sounds like an upgrade; not mini. Maybe it should be called the Two TV Suite. That's right two tv's. I got to watch the NFL playoff games on one TV while Thelma watched on Channel 22 those Love Boat TV reruns. It was great until she hit the mute button or changed channels; my TV also would change. But as a whole it was a great cabin.

 

Food and Service: After checking out the cabin we went to the Horizon for lunch. Now that was something different. We had to get in line to enter the food area; kind of reminded me of our pig pen back on the farm; only one way in and one way out and feeding troughs everyway. And boy was it crowded. As you entered the pen I mean food area there was this nice lady passing out serving platters that I found out were actually plates. I told Thelma we could use one of these plates to serve our 25 LB turkey each year at Thanksgiving. Boy, don't go on a diet on this boat.

 

The food was good and best service ever on a cruise. Our waiter in the MDR was Peter from Europe. He was excellent. I found it interesting that rolls were not put on the table in a basket due to waste but don't hold back on those serving platters at the Horizon and the food wasted. I asked Peter if he was married or had a girl friend. He replied in one of those European/Aristocratic voices, "RedneckBob, he called me by my first name, I have a woman in every port"! WOW, that sounded great to me except Thelma noticed my delight so I kinder withdrew from that topic.

 

Entertainment: This was great but way too many people; had to get to show 30-40 minutes early to get a seat. We had one of those comedian perform and upset Thelma a lot. The comedian said that it was amazing how these young women get tattoos all over there bodies. Just the other day on the boat he saw a young women with a pretty rose tattoo on her breast (Thelma had one of those too). He said, don't that girl know in 25-30 years that will be a long stem rose :eek: ! Thelma began too cry. I said don't worry Thelma; we will get some new implants and it will look like a dozen roses :D !

 

As far as other entertainment, we played cards with our friends, Fred & Ethel every day; card game called "Up and Down the River". The way I played it should be called "Up The Creek Without a Paddle". Princess used the Crown Grill Restaurant for playing games and it was great.

 

Ports of Call:

 

Hilo: first stop on our trip and I was looking to go see the volcano as long as it was not erupting; guarantee there was no virgin on this ship to sacrifice at the volcano if it was erupting. Well, we got off the boat and went in the terminal and I asked where is the bus to the volcano. Someone inside said right outside. So we went outside and there was this huge line waiting for the bus. After 20 minutes the bus arrived and we headed out but 15 minutes later do you know we were in front of Walmart ! We got on the wrong bus ! So we decided to go in and by the time we got back to the bus to take us back to the ship we had bought so much the bus driver had to open the storage compartment under the seats to store our stuff.

 

Honolulu: We decided to go to a place called Wack-a-Key Beach; very strange name for a beach. Took the city bus their. It was great. Found an open air market sailing tee shirts; 9 shirts for $21.99; what a deal. Got the shirts and when I was ready to check out, the sales clerk said those prices were for small and medium; your size would be $15 each. Well I be dogged ! Maybe it had something to do with with my t shirt size; same roman numerals as next years Super Bowl :D !

 

Maui: Another great place. We took one of those tenders from the boat to the port. Then I walked and walked and walked and walked (kinder sounds like Forrest Gump), and do you know we ended up at Bubba Gump's Restaurant. It was great.

 

Overall it was a great cruise but way too many people. We will stick to those smaller ships.

 

I'm RedneckBob and I see it like a tell it, I mean tell it like I see it.

 

(The names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing your experience to Hawaii on the Ruby.

 

It seems other than a lot of people (ya know there are bigger ships :) ) that you had a good time.

 

Husband and I were on the Golden a few years ago and he's ready to do it again. I would like to try a different ship though. :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I laughed! I cried! It was better than 'Cats'!"

 

Thanks for your review. It was very helpful and more than entertaining. Now I know to stay away from the bus to Wally World (aka Walmart) when we go next February.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yours is the model review. No photos - great. No pictures of food - even greater. No videos - over the top. Can be read in a shorter time that the cruise top - can't be beat.

 

There are way too many reviews on CC that take longer to read than it took to do the entire cruise.

 

DON

Link to comment
Share on other sites

RB, a grizzled sailor once explained to me the difference between a "boat" and a "ship."

 

A "ship" can carry a "boat."

 

The Ruby Princess is a ship. It is interesting that you used the nomenclature "tender" for your Maui stop. The tender vessel was, I'll bet, one of the orange colored emergency survival vessels that are carried by the Ruby Princess. It would be an example of a boat.

 

Yes, I know. I'm a smarty-pants.

 

:D

 

Thanks for your fun post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

RB, a grizzled sailor once explained to me the difference between a "boat" and a "ship."

 

A "ship" can carry a "boat."

 

The Ruby Princess is a ship. It is interesting that you used the nomenclature "tender" for your Maui stop. The tender vessel was, I'll bet, one of the orange colored emergency survival vessels that are carried by the Ruby Princess. It would be an example of a boat.

 

Yes, I know. I'm a smarty-pants.

 

:D

 

Thanks for your fun post.

 

You are not a smarty-pants. This is the 5th cruise review I have written in the past year on this CC board and every time someone explains to me what the difference is between a boat and a ship.

 

This is the way I see it; If it floats, it's a boat.

 

Also when did a "Lifeboat" became known as a "Survival Craft"

 

And speaking of lifeboats, that emergency drill before sailing is something. You know how you can tell I am Redneck (Bob). Wait for it;

 

I went to the Trident Grill for the emergency drill because I thought the Muster Station was the condiment bar next to the hot dog grill :D !

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not a smarty-pants. This is the 5th cruise review I have written in the past year on this CC board and every time someone explains to me what the difference is between a boat and a ship.

 

This is the way I see it; If it floats, it's a boat.

 

Also when did a "Lifeboat" became known as a "Survival Craft"

 

And speaking of lifeboats, that emergency drill before sailing is something. You know how you can tell I am Redneck (Bob). Wait for it;

 

I went to the Trident Grill for the emergency drill because I thought the Muster Station was the condiment bar next to the hot dog grill :D !

 

Perfect Response!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

RB, a grizzled sailor once explained to me the difference between a "boat" and a "ship."

 

A "ship" can carry a "boat."

 

The Ruby Princess is a ship. It is interesting that you used the nomenclature "tender" for your Maui stop. The tender vessel was, I'll bet, one of the orange colored emergency survival vessels that are carried by the Ruby Princess. It would be an example of a boat.

 

Yes, I know. I'm a smarty-pants.

 

:D

 

Thanks for your fun post.

 

Hey XBGuy!

 

Take it easy on RedneckBob: "boat" was a hard word to learn in his reader when he was "lurn'n" it. More likely than not he'll discover the word "ship" when he advances to the next grade level in five or so years. It's in the same chapter as the word "pool" which he may learn before he encounters one of those "cement ponds" on the Lido deck.

 

I'm sure he had a tear of joy in his eye when he arrived at Walmart; it probably felt just like being at home!

 

 

_____________________________

PARODY intended as humor, so Mod's don't let that stick buried within stir.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not a smarty-pants. This is the 5th cruise review I have written in the past year on this CC board and every time someone explains to me what the difference is between a boat and a ship.

 

This is the way I see it; If it floats, it's a boat.

 

Also when did a "Lifeboat" became known as a "Survival Craft"

 

And speaking of lifeboats, that emergency drill before sailing is something. You know how you can tell I am Redneck (Bob). Wait for it;

 

I went to the Trident Grill for the emergency drill because I thought the Muster Station was the condiment bar next to the hot dog grill :D !

 

That is the nomenclature that Princess uses in the pre-recorded Muster Drill presentation. I completely cracked up the first time I heard it. Now, it may be that at the Trident Grill condiment station they have a different presentation.

 

:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey XBGuy!

 

Take it easy on RedneckBob: "boat" was a hard word to learn in his reader when he was "lurn'n" it. More likely than not he'll discover the word "ship" when he advances to the next grade level in five or so years. It's in the same chapter as the word "pool" which he may learn before he encounters one of those "cement ponds" on the Lido deck.

 

I'm sure he had a tear of joy in his eye when he arrived at Walmart; it probably felt just like being at home!

 

 

_____________________________

PARODY intended as humor, so Mod's don't let that stick buried within stir.

 

Your opprobrious behavior towards the perception that I lack intelligential skills is over stated and not authentic :confused: !

 

or something like that :D !

 

PARODY accepted

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

  • Forum Jump
    • Categories
      • Welcome to Cruise Critic
      • Hurricane Zone 2024
      • Cruise Insurance Q&A w/ Steve Dasseos of Tripinsurancestore.com June 2024
      • New Cruisers
      • Cruise Lines “A – O”
      • Cruise Lines “P – Z”
      • River Cruising
      • ROLL CALLS
      • Cruise Critic News & Features
      • Digital Photography & Cruise Technology
      • Special Interest Cruising
      • Cruise Discussion Topics
      • UK Cruising
      • Australia & New Zealand Cruisers
      • Canadian Cruisers
      • North American Homeports
      • Ports of Call
      • Cruise Conversations
×
×
  • Create New...