Tipping extra cash in MDR

[sparks1093]

3 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

Most (if not all) lines I’ve sailed advise that gratuities above and beyond the auto tip are acceptable - while pointing out that, if the passenger has removed the auto tip, any cash gratuities a crew member receives must be added to the pool.   This would seem to indicate that individual tips received by specific individuals belong to those individuals.   
 

In practice, this makes sense: I have more than once been at a table where the assistant waiter provided better service/attention than the waiter - and I tipped accordingly.

That is my understanding as well, but that doesn't mean that those tips aren't pooled either with or without management's knowledge, and it doesn't address my point that some people may choose to tip the team instead of just one person (which is usually how we handle it). In any event, as I've said, we don't have any control of what happens to it after we've left it so I don't worry about it. 

[Elaine5715]

1 hour ago, navybankerteacher said:

The point of a tip above and beyond the auto tip is to recognize superior service rendered by a particular individual and not by the team—- allowing the head waiter allocate it defeats that purpose.

And the individual in a wait team does not function individually.  

[Elaine5715]

6 hours ago, Hlitner said:

This gets into my pet peeve about only directly tipping folks to reward excellence.  If you leave money on the table or hand over an envelope in full sight, the recipient might be forced to put that money into a pool.  When you are discrete about how you tip than it gives the recipient the option of whether they just keep it or share it.

 

Hank

Wait staff who bogart tips in a land restaurant are run out of dodge quickly.  Wait staff who hide tips on a cruise ship, who live with their co-workers will be found out and shamed until they end their contract.  

[Hlitner]

11 minutes ago, Elaine5715 said:

Wait staff who bogart tips in a land restaurant are run out of dodge quickly.  Wait staff who hide tips on a cruise ship, who live with their co-workers will be found out and shamed until they end their contract.  

That is entirely their business.  

 

Hank

[Toofarfromthesea]

6 hours ago, navybankerteacher said:

Agreed - this is especially relevant on cruise ships - which facilitate tipping by having service charges automatically added to your bill - clearly covering routine performance;  so any direct tipping should only be in response to really superior service - and should logically be done discretely.

 

Thanks for promptly making my point, as expressed in my first post in this exchange, to wit:

 

"Yes, we already know that the way you do things is the only way anyone should do things."

 

There is a vast gulf between saying "this is what I do" and saying "what I do is the only way anyone should do it".

 

[Elaine5715]

38 minutes ago, Hlitner said:

That is entirely their business.  

 

Hank

So why "slip" a tip?

[Hlitner]

21 minutes ago, Elaine5715 said:

So why "slip" a tip?

Because I am a mean, nasty, uncaring person who enjoys rewarding excellence :).

 

Hank

[rkacruiser]

2 hours ago, Elaine5715 said:

Wait staff who hide tips on a cruise ship, who live with their co-workers will be found out and shamed until they end their contract.  

 

Or fired, if they are required to turn in any tips so that they can be pooled.

[rkacruiser]

In previous posts, the term "head waiter" has been used.  Who is the "head waiter"?  

 

The MDR organization seems to differ from one cruise line to another.  For example:  on HAL, there is a team of two for a table:  the Waiter and the Assistant Waiter.  There are no longer any Table Captains.  There is the person that greets and seats guests, but these people are mostly Assistant Dining Room Managers (Maitre d's)

 

Princess has a different set-up.  There is the Maitre d and his/her assistants.  There is a Table Captain (the green coated gentlemen) and the team of Waiter and Assistant Waiter.  

 

In the above situations, who is the "head waiter"?  

[DirtyDawg]

So there appears to be a difference in approaches to tipping extra on cruise ships. Some like me favour the team/pooled approach or at least leave it up to the recipients involved. Others favour the reward the individual approach. Isn't it wonderful we have differences. Wouldn't it be boring if we all thought and did the same. 

 

And BTW for let's say a 7 night cruise, what are the actual extra tipping dollars are we all talking about here? For cruisers who normally take longer cruises simply scale down your normal extra tipping to a 7 night one.  $100 in extra tips for the dinning room individual or team for a 7 night cruise? $500? $1,000?

[wcook]

10 hours ago, sparks1093 said:

We certainly can't tell them sotto voce "this is just for you, don't share it with anyone"

When I catered in college, I’d occasionally get the “this isn’t a tip, it’s a person gift from me to you. Capiche?.” I’d say I understand and thank you. Then share with my crew at the end of the shift. Because that’s what we did. 

[ldubs]

1 hour ago, DirtyDawg said:

So there appears to be a difference in approaches to tipping extra on cruise ships. Some like me favour the team/pooled approach or at least leave it up to the recipients involved. Others favour the reward the individual approach. Isn't it wonderful we have differences. Wouldn't it be boring if we all thought and did the same. 

 

 

Team pooled vs Individuals.  All the debating aside, I guess ultimately what we want isn't going to matter.  Once we hand over the envelope they are going to do what they do.  

[Elaine5715]

3 hours ago, rkacruiser said:

In previous posts, the term "head waiter" has been used.  Who is the "head waiter"?  

 

The MDR organization seems to differ from one cruise line to another.  For example:  on HAL, there is a team of two for a table:  the Waiter and the Assistant Waiter.  There are no longer any Table Captains.  There is the person that greets and seats guests, but these people are mostly Assistant Dining Room Managers (Maitre d's)

 

Princess has a different set-up.  There is the Maitre d and his/her assistants.  There is a Table Captain (the green coated gentlemen) and the team of Waiter and Assistant Waiter.  

 

In the above situations, who is the "head waiter"?  

 Maitres are not Head Waiters. The "Head Waiter"  is the direct lead of the dining room table team.

[Elaine5715]

4 hours ago, Hlitner said:

Because I am a mean, nasty, uncaring person who enjoys rewarding excellence :).

 

Hank

So, why hide it?  Straight up, "Here you go, we enjoyed your service".

[rkacruiser]

7 minutes ago, Elaine5715 said:

The "Head Waiter"  is the direct lead of the dining room table team.

 

To me, the title of "head" implies more responsibility than that person holds as a member of the "team".  When I was part of a "team" during my employment, there was no "head" of that team.  We, on our team, shared the responsibility of getting our job properly done.  

[navybankerteacher]

7 hours ago, Elaine5715 said:

And the individual in a wait team does not function individually.  

BULL!  Have you never encountered a "team" where some contribute and some just coast?

 

Every individual functions as an individual --- that is what the term "Individual" means. Some are careful and diligent, some may be more or less so

 

  He/she MAY be part of a team - but, when it come to staff on a cruise ship, as far as I am concerned --- as long as I have left the auto tip in place --- I believe that I am entitled to recognize individuals as such, and to recognize their contributions as individual contributions.

[navybankerteacher]

1 hour ago, Elaine5715 said:

So, why hide it?  Straight up, "Here you go, we enjoyed your service".

Because, if I want to express thanks to an individual.  I have the right to express thanks privately to that individual. My expression of thanks to that individual is a matter between him/her and me -- or, to be consistent, does it have to involve every member of the crew --- and the home office people as well?

 

How broad is the "team" that you seem to believe subsumes every individual member?

[navybankerteacher]

1 hour ago, Elaine5715 said:

 Maitres are not Head Waiters. The "Head Waiter"  is the direct lead of the dining room table team.

But isn"t the maitre d' part of the dining room "team"?   Who assigned you as arbiter of "team" components?

[DirtyDawg]

4 hours ago, ldubs said:

 

Team pooled vs Individuals.  All the debating aside, I guess ultimately what we want isn't going to matter.  Once we hand over the envelope they are going to do what they do.  

Very true. I might want to reward the team for exceptional service with this extra tip we are all talking about here. Not the regular auto-tip, mind you, an extra tip. But I have zero control over whether the person I give the extra tip to will carry out my wishes. Frankly, after I give the extra tip and express my wishes I don't really get my boxers in a twist if the crew member carries out my wishes of not. I'm not going to waist my valuable vacation time trying to police what the crew member does with my extra tip. Others who want to reward the individual for exceptional service with an extra tip also have zero control over whether the person they give the extra tip to will carry out their wishes. If they want to police their extra tip or not is their concern, not mine.  

 

The bottom line is that exceptional service is rewarded in some manner. 

 

Edited July 22, 2022 by DirtyDawg

[Elaine5715]

1 hour ago, navybankerteacher said:

But isn"t the maitre d' part of the dining room "team"?   Who assigned you as arbiter of "team" components?

 The wait team have tent cards with their titles on the tables.  

[Elaine5715]

1 hour ago, navybankerteacher said:

Because, if I want to express thanks to an individual.  I have the right to express thanks privately to that individual. My expression of thanks to that individual is a matter between him/her and me -- or, to be consistent, does it have to involve every member of the crew --- and the home office people as well?

 

How broad is the "team" that you seem to believe subsumes every individual member?

For the dining room, you don't notice each table has two to three crew assigned?  It isn't a free for all.  Each has specific duties with the  most junior assigned to the running. In a land restaurant where wait staff tip out bussers, you can appreciate all you want but the wait staff is still tipping out 10% of that tip.  

[Elaine5715]

1 hour ago, navybankerteacher said:

BULL!  Have you never encountered a "team" where some contribute and some just coast?

 

Every individual functions as an individual --- that is what the term "Individual" means. Some are careful and diligent, some may be more or less so

 

  He/she MAY be part of a team - but, when it come to staff on a cruise ship, as far as I am concerned --- as long as I have left the auto tip in place --- I believe that I am entitled to recognize individuals as such, and to recognize their contributions as individual contributions.

Then add their names to your survey , that isn't shared.  Cash is.  

[Elaine5715]

3 hours ago, rkacruiser said:

 

To me, the title of "head" implies more responsibility than that person holds as a member of the "team".  When I was part of a "team" during my employment, there was no "head" of that team.  We, on our team, shared the responsibility of getting our job properly done.  

Ships are structured hierarchies with people who outrank others.  Glory flows up and well, ship flows down.  Crew job titles mean something and those tittles are earned so when that title includes "Head", "Senior" it commands  respect.  https://saverocity.com/travel/a-rough-guide-to-cruise-ship-hierarchy-and-cruise-ship-mafia/

[sparks1093]

9 hours ago, navybankerteacher said:

Because, if I want to express thanks to an individual.  I have the right to express thanks privately to that individual. My expression of thanks to that individual is a matter between him/her and me -- or, to be consistent, does it have to involve every member of the crew --- and the home office people as well?

 

How broad is the "team" that you seem to believe subsumes every individual member?

As post 61 shows you can express all of the thanks you want to privately but any cash is going to be shared if it is required to be shared.

[sparks1093]

14 hours ago, ldubs said:

 

Team pooled vs Individuals.  All the debating aside, I guess ultimately what we want isn't going to matter.  Once we hand over the envelope they are going to do what they do.  

Exactly.