Formal night attire for women

[irvington]

I'm sure this may have been beaten to death, and perhaps this is better on the cruiseline board, but the people are so nice here!

 

I have 2 upcoming cruises, one on Celebrity and one on Silversea. For the Celebrity cruise, I'm fine. Went on the same ship 2 years ago and I was in the range of what women wear for dinner. My sons are coming on that one and I just want to make sure they bring a decent dress shirt to wear for dinner. Fin.

 

The Silversea one is where I have (mild) stress. This is a transpacific and I'm going solo. I often travel with my husband, who is a total luggage hawk, so this should be my time to overpack at will, but I'm finding I don't want to wrangle a huge bag if I don't have to. I've got plenty of time to think about this, the cruise isn't until September. I live in an extremely casual part of the world, and by Pacific NW standards I dress up a lot - I go to a fair amount of charity events and things like that. But I usually just wear a black dress and make it dressier with jewelry and scarves and maybe some more dramatic makeup. My goal is just to be in that vast middle of looking suitable for the occasion, not standing out as too casual but not looking to be a focus of anyone's eyes.

 

I don't think I have a formal, full-length dress anymore that fits and it is hard to get excited about getting one. I weigh more than I should so skimpier styles don't look as good on me as they used to. I'd like to continue the above approach but will I look like an idiot? I also have this on my mind because I have an international business meeting (this year in Vienna) and most of the women who attend dress to the nines, and I'm aware my approach puts me on the casual end of the spectrum. But again, buying 2 expensive gowns that I don't especially like to schlepp to Vienna in May and then Japan in September doesn't appeal.

 

This is the essence of a first world problem - embarrassing to post. But here you go. I thought about posting on Silversea but all the threads about formal wear seem to be about whether men have to wear tuxes and so on. 

[bluetardis]

Have you tried Threadup for an event dress at a lower price? Makes the dress easier on the pocketbook and if you lose weight not out of a lot of money. I did a quick look and they have a lot of formal dresses..

Edited February 11, 2023 by bluetardis

[jsn55]

I know exactly how you feel about being concerned over such a 'trivial thing' ... but it's NOT trivial to a woman who cares about how she looks!  I remember the days of three-evening-gown cruises, and have no interest in doing that again.  The same suitcase you used to sling around with impunity now seems like an enormous burden.  So I developed my 'uniform' for all travel.  Black silk pants or long skirt, sandals or velvet slippers, tunic top.  Jewelry and scarves.  I love shopping for 'statement earrings' like big gobs of 'jewels', then I pair them with a scarf.  There you have it.  Nobody really 'looks' at you, other than to think 'my, she looks nice', so it is almost guaranteed to work well. 

 

We sailed on Queen Victoria several years ago, and one of our favorite activities was to sit in the corrridor leading to the late-dining MDR.  We'd have a glass of champagne and watch the pax come through on formal night.  Women in red sequined sheaths with dyed-to-match stilletos don't look any more glamorous than women in black tunics!

[Lois R]

15 hours ago, irvington said:

I'm sure this may have been beaten to death, and perhaps this is better on the cruiseline board, but the people are so nice here!

 

I have 2 upcoming cruises, one on Celebrity and one on Silversea. For the Celebrity cruise, I'm fine. Went on the same ship 2 years ago and I was in the range of what women wear for dinner. My sons are coming on that one and I just want to make sure they bring a decent dress shirt to wear for dinner. Fin.

 

The Silversea one is where I have (mild) stress. This is a transpacific and I'm going solo. I often travel with my husband, who is a total luggage hawk, so this should be my time to overpack at will, but I'm finding I don't want to wrangle a huge bag if I don't have to. I've got plenty of time to think about this, the cruise isn't until September. I live in an extremely casual part of the world, and by Pacific NW standards I dress up a lot - I go to a fair amount of charity events and things like that. But I usually just wear a black dress and make it dressier with jewelry and scarves and maybe some more dramatic makeup. My goal is just to be in that vast middle of looking suitable for the occasion, not standing out as too casual but not looking to be a focus of anyone's eyes.

 

I don't think I have a formal, full-length dress anymore that fits and it is hard to get excited about getting one. I weigh more than I should so skimpier styles don't look as good on me as they used to. I'd like to continue the above approach but will I look like an idiot? I also have this on my mind because I have an international business meeting (this year in Vienna) and most of the women who attend dress to the nines, and I'm aware my approach puts me on the casual end of the spectrum. But again, buying 2 expensive gowns that I don't especially like to schlepp to Vienna in May and then Japan in September doesn't appeal.

 

This is the essence of a first world problem - embarrassing to post. But here you go. I thought about posting on Silversea but all the threads about formal wear seem to be about whether men have to wear tuxes and so on. 

Hi,🙂 I sail solo and am a regular with SS. I can tell you first hand, a long gown is not necessary. To be totally honest with you, I don't own a dress. I am just not a dress gal. My formal night attire consists of dressy slacks with dressy tops, some nice jewelry and black sandals or ballet flats. 

Your black dress with jewelry and scarf will be totally appropriate.  No need to buy any evening gowns, expensive or not.

 

Hope this helps you a bit!

[awhfy]

Chicos sequin tshirt top with black chiffon palazzo pants

[crystalspin]

17 hours ago, irvington said:

I'm sure this may have been beaten to death, and perhaps this is better on the cruiseline board, but the people are so nice here!

...

 

This is the essence of a first world problem - embarrassing to post. But here you go. I thought about posting on Silversea but all the threads about formal wear seem to be about whether men have to wear tuxes and so on. 

I have no experience with those lines, but if suddenly tickets to either appeared in my wallet, we would take the same as we wear on HAL, or for that matter, University events at home:

 

For DH, dark pants and a guayabera (Mexican wedding shirt, of which he has three long-sleeved ones); for me shiny leggings and a sparkly tunic or tank with sparkly cardigan. ETA: I may be @awhfy's Twin!

 

On shore DH might wear tuxedo pants below the guayabera, but wouldn't pack them for a cruise.

Edited February 11, 2023 by crystalspin

[Lois R]

2 hours ago, awhfy said:

Chicos sequin tshirt top with black chiffon palazzo pants

Hi Melody, you always look lovely🙂

[Mum2Mercury]

21 hours ago, irvington said:

My goal is just to be in that vast middle of looking suitable for the occasion, not standing out as too casual but not looking to be a focus of anyone's eyes.

A black dress will achieve invisibility; seriously, of the women who really "dress up" more than 90% will be wearing black, which is why I avoid the color!  Too dull and drab.  

You can "dress up" or "dress down" any other color as well.  

21 hours ago, irvington said:

... I weigh more than I should so skimpier styles don't look as good on me as they used to ...  business meeting (this year in Vienna) and most of the women who attend dress to the nines ... 

I'm saying gently, and I'm saying this as a person who has to work at staying an appropriate weight -- don't think for a moment I'm saying it in a mean way:  

 

If your weight is stressing you and you're not happy with your clothes any more, change it!  I know, it's hard-hard-hard, but if it's stressing you out enough to talk about it on a message board, would not six months of hard work take care of the problem?  You're smart and successful enough to be involved in an international business women's group -- you're capable.  How good would it feel to go in and feel good trying on new clothes?  

 

Also, you don't have to go skimpy to be dressy.  I just bought a great two-piece swimsuit that I cannot wait to wear -- it has a chunky, high-neck top that covers my upper chest, which always burns, and a swim skirt.  

21 hours ago, bluetardis said:

Have you tried Threadup for an event dress at a lower price? Makes the dress easier on the pocketbook and if you lose weight not out of a lot of money. I did a quick look and they have a lot of formal dresses..

I don't know Threadup, but many of my clothes come from Ebay.  I tend to stick to a couple favorite brands that I know will fit me well.  

6 hours ago, jsn55 said:

... Women in red sequined sheaths with dyed-to-match stilletos don't look any more glamorous than women in black tunics!

Do they still make dye-to-match shoes?  

I'll disagree about the color but agree about the style.

[awhfy]

3 hours ago, Lois R said:

Hi Melody, you always look lovely🙂

Thanks Lois, this outfit packs like a dream too

[MJC]

On 2/10/2023 at 9:38 PM, irvington said:

My goal is just to be in that vast middle of looking suitable for the occasion, not standing out as too casual but not looking to be a focus of anyone's eyes.

I'm like you and mostly aim for the middle where I feel good but don't draw too much attention. We recently went on the Queen Mary 2, which is described as very formal, and we saw many women dressed in what you plan to wear who  were by no means the least dressy or stood out. A classic dress with evening accessories is always appropriate and easy to pack, or as Melody posted, some beautiful pants with different evening tops. 

 

I love long gowns but the opportunities to wear them are fewer and fewer. At this point I'd rather have cocktail-length dresses that are versatile but still allow some bling in the jewelry department. 🙂 I have a black jersey one that I can even roll and it always looks nice, dressed up or down. 

 

Sometimes we like to go all-out with the gown and tux, but it doesn't have to be that way.  And I think that a woman at ease in what she's wearing always shines best. 

 

[broker1217]

 Also have my first SS cruise coming up so I sympathize with the packing decisions.

I think you are on the right track by using a black dress and dressing it up.

I actually asked a question on SS regarding informal nights and got some really helpful information. 
Check it here:

 

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/topic/2867615-help-with-ladies-informal-attire/#comment-63729392

 

[ninjacat123]

I have a similar top to @awhfy from Boston Proper and I wore it with jeans for a party at my house. Got lots of complements!  I think separates are a great way to go!

[bluetardis]

@ninjacat123you look great