Do I have to sit with my partner?

[Peter9879789]

We are going on a cruise.  My partner is outgoing and wants to chat to everyone.  I barely talk and think of eating with strangers as horrific!

 

Do we have to dine together or can she join groups and I dine separately alone?

[leaveitallbehind]

You don't indicate which cruise line on which you are cruising, and different cruise lines may treat this differently. But in general, if you are referring to pre-arranged seating, you can typically request the table size you would prefer for dinner. You can request smaller tables (4-top for example) that will limit the number of other people at your table.  Typically they will seat the same people together each night, so in short order you will get to know your table mates.

 

You can also request a 2-top if she would agree to just being alone with you versus other people.  But requesting a limited size table is probably your best bet.  Finding a table by yourself may be difficult as the cruise lines need to be sure everyone (including other solos) has a table, which often will have solos paired together. 

 

I am also not familiar with cruise lines splitting couples into different table arrangements (this would, at least, create solo seating complexities) and typically would keep couples together as it is simpler to determine seating arrangements.  I would contact your travel agent (if you used one) or the cruise line directly to discuss your options.

 

I guess one option around this would be, if your cruise line offers a version of "my time dining", to both go to the unreserved seating line but request seating separately when your turn comes in queue.  She can request to go to a group table and you can request a solo or, at the very least, a 2-top table for yourself.  That would likely be dependent on availability each night and may vary your seating each time, but may provide a solution.

Edited January 31 by leaveitallbehind

[sanger727]

Do you have traditional or anytime dining? If you have anytime dining, you can certainly go up to the host stand and request a table for 1. And she can go up and request to sit at a shared table. 

Edited January 31 by sanger727

[MCC retired]

If your cruise (whatever it is) has Anytime Dining , not 1st/2nd assiogned seating ,choose that .

 

[navybankerteacher]

Every ship has some sort of open (unassigned) dining - if only the cafeteria/lido. You always hear of couples who split up while on a cruise , so I imagine their inclination would be to stop eating together.

[clo]

I don't know how this is any different than someone traveling alone.

[leaveitallbehind]

12 minutes ago, clo said:

I don't know how this is any different than someone traveling alone.

The assumption is (at least as I first referenced in my response) that they are trying to pre-reserve dining but want to do so separately, which may pose a challenge since they are booked together. It is different than a solo traveler because the OP is booked with a traveling partner with whom he is planning to dine.  If he was a solo booking then he could request solo seating (or at least a two-top table).  

 

I think your comment is correct if they utilize a my time type program on board that is not standard reserved seating, and both do so separately at each meal.  The solo partner still may not be seated alone if the dining capacity at the time does not allow for that.

 

At least that is how I am seeing this.

[Mary229]

I don’t see why you couldn’t request separate seating.  Plenty of people cruise with a roommate. I would visit the MaitreD and make your arrangements 

[CDNPolar]

Depending on the cruise line, if you cannot get a solo seat, and if you are good with the buffet, then you could dine in the buffet and allow your partner to dine where she wants.

 

My husband is quiet.  I am not.  He is always happy that I carry the conversation, and he may only answer direct questions to him if we are forced to sit at a meal with others.

 

On our preferred ocean line, we can always have a table for two, but on river cruising, when we are forced to sit with others, we tend to try and find some folks that we might meet and talk to on an excursion and then if we do hit it off we sit together often.

 

I am fine either way.  I am in a profession that I must be in front of people all the time, but the fact is I don't want to be, but I have taught myself how to be social that way.  I personally would prefer to be dining alone with my husband, so I don't seek out the company of others, but will carry the conversation for him if we are in the company of others.

 

I found the title of this discussion amusing, with no offence intended.  I found it so, because if we are flying internationally and we are flying economy, we don't sit together.  We sit aisle on the left side of the plane and one in front of each other.  When I saw this discussion this just came to mind as similar, but not...

[Mary229]

11 minutes ago, CDNPolar said:

internationally and we are flying economy, we don't sit together.  We sit aisle on the left side of the plane and one in front of each other.  When I saw this discussion this just

We always fly aisle and window as that is our preference.  It amazes me that people constantly try to put us “back together “.  This week some person wanted the steward to force us to sit together so they could have the coveted window seat. I was amused but not moved. 

[CDNPolar]

16 minutes ago, Mary229 said:

We always fly aisle and window as that is our preference.  It amazes me that people constantly try to put us “back together “.  This week some person wanted the steward to force us to sit together so they could have the coveted window seat. I was amused but not moved. 

 

No, I would never move.  I may have paid for this seat and I took the time and initiative to select the seat I wanted in the section of the plane that I wanted.  I don't move for anyone unless there is benefit for me.

 

I have noticed people separated, and I got stuck with bad luck in a middle seat, and have offered my middle seat to put them back together so I can have their aisle seat and been lucky...

 

 

[Mary229]

1 minute ago, CDNPolar said:

 

No, I would never move.  I may have paid for this seat and I took the time and initiative to select the seat I wanted in the section of the plane that I wanted.  I don't move for anyone unless there is benefit for me.

 

I have noticed people separated, and I got stuck with bad luck in a middle seat, and have offered my middle seat to put them back together so I can have their aisle seat and been lucky...

 

 

In relation to this thread people try to put us back together always say “don’t you want to sit next to your husband” thinking they can shame me by social conventions. Nope, not going to happen.  Likewise I don’t think the OP should be restricted by social convention either, if they want separate dining they should both be graciously seated according to their wishes. They both paid for a seat in the MDR 

[navybankerteacher]

1 hour ago, CDNPolar said:

 

No, I would never move.  I may have paid for this seat and I took the time and initiative to select the seat I wanted in the section of the plane that I wanted.  I don't move for anyone unless there is benefit for me.

 

I have noticed people separated, and I got stuck with bad luck in a middle seat, and have offered my middle seat to put them back together so I can have their aisle seat and been lucky...

 

 

I have moved to let a small child sit next to a parent - even though it was their late purchase which left them separated.

[mom says]

4 hours ago, Mary229 said:

 Likewise I don’t think the OP should be restricted by social convention either, if they want separate dining they should both be graciously seated according to their wishes. They both paid for a seat in the MDR

However, the OP didn't state what his partner's wishes are. I would hope that he has already had this discussion with her, or dining may not be the only thing he does alone.

[Mary229]

4 hours ago, mom says said:

However, the OP didn't state what his partner's wishes are. I would hope that he has already had this discussion with her, or dining may not be the only thing he does alone.

That would not be the cruise lines concern. 

[K32682]

9 hours ago, Mary229 said:

In relation to this thread people try to put us back together always say “don’t you want to sit next to your husband” thinking they can shame me by social conventions. Nope, not going to happen.  Likewise I don’t think the OP should be restricted by social convention either, if they want separate dining they should both be graciously seated according to their wishes. They both paid for a seat in the MDR 

 

I don't think they are trying to shame you by social convention but expressing surprise a spouse would request a different table. It's unlikely something that happens to them often. 

[Mary229]

1 hour ago, K32682 said:

 

I don't think they are trying to shame you by social convention but expressing surprise a spouse would request a different table. It's unlikely something that happens to them often. 

This comment was in continuation to the airplane discussion above