Formal Night Dilemma with No Solution

[Mysteryreader]

I've read posting after posting about people who ignore the dress code on formal nights. How gauche. How rude. How self-centered.

 

Now we've become part of the problem.

 

We're bk'd on a Panama Canal cruise in Oct. Dh informs me that he absolutely refuses to take a suit. His best offer is a navy sportcoat with cotton pants. I suggested he could rent a tux and save on luggage space. I could have saved my breath. I'm not even sure he'll wear a tie. (I plan to pack one myself just in case he happens to "forget" which he's been known to do before.)

 

I know they'll let him into dinner b/c I've seen people wearing jeans and t-shirts on formal night--I just never expected to be part of the you-can't-mean-us crowd. Will there be other men similarly dressed, or should I pretend I never met the man before that evening?

 

M/R

[jackdiamond]

I've read posting after posting about people who ignore the dress code on formal nights. How gauche. How rude. How self-centered.

 

Now we've become part of the problem.

 

We're bk'd on a Panama Canal cruise in Oct. Dh informs me that he absolutely refuses to take a suit. His best offer is a navy sportcoat with cotton pants. I suggested he could rent a tux and save on luggage space. I could have saved my breath. I'm not even sure he'll wear a tie. (I plan to pack one myself just in case he happens to "forget" which he's been known to do before.)

 

I know they'll let him into dinner b/c I've seen people wearing jeans and t-shirts on formal night--I just never expected to be part of the you-can't-mean-us crowd. Will there be other men similarly dressed, or should I pretend I never met the man before that evening?

 

M/R

You might just pretend.

[Denny01]

Turn to the East and repeat, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you'. Then step out and ask the Poolboy if he wants to go on a fun vacation. Explain to the DH (well, DexH now) that since he doesn't want to follow one of the basics and wants to act and dress like a teen, you'll take a real teen with you instead.

 

Or....

 

Tell him that's fine, there are other venues to eat at on Formal Night. Join him if you like, or stay with your tablemates and let him eat where he pleases.

 

Or....

 

Drop him off at the Kids Program that night.

 

Or....

 

Just enjoy dinner and let him dress as he wishes. It's his issue, not yours.

 

Funny how it's always us guys who insist on acting like kids, coming up with the lamest excuses, 'I wear I tie every day'. Yup, and they pay you to do it, so now your wife is asking, but you won't do it. You'll do it for money though...... there's a thought, tell him you'll up his allowance.

 

OK, I had fun with that one. I'd go with just go to Formal Night and enjoy. Don't look around to see how many others dressed as he is, just enjoy and let him sneak peeks hoping other adult/teens are around.

 

Denny

[geojobes]

You can use my wife's threat, which is "if you ever wanna get lucky again..." That works on me, although she doesn't have to make me where a suit. For meals like that, I'd wear a suit every night!

[Scottygirl1]

You could say you lost some luggage. You could apologize profusely to everyone. You could deny that you know him. Or he could put on the jacket he is taking and I'm sure he will look just fine :)

[lorejoyce]

My husband and I overdressed - and we loved it! We saw people wear a wide range of clothes though so you'd be comfortable no matter what you choose. Our tablemates dressed formally also and I would have felt bad wearing casual clothes. I wore gowns and he wore a tux for every formal night. He didn't see me until I was ready for the evening and I loved seeing his face when he first saw me. It was romantic and wonderful and we fell in love all over again.

[lucinjo]

MysteryReader -

 

I think we are on the same cruise so I need to make sure my DH doesn't see this thread! Otherwise he will volunteer to keep your husband company by leaving his suit at home. I got him to agree to bring a suit by offering to put it in my suitcase! Luckily my DH loves the food on formal night, so I didn't have to struggle very hard. You would think suits are made out of poison ivy the way they work to avoid having to wear one.

[JanineM]

If he really doesn't want to dress up then there are other options! You can always have room service, eat in casual dining, or go to the pizza/pasta/salad bars.

 

If you were sailing on Royal Caribbean I'd say that you'll see plenty of other men dressed that casually, but people tend to dress up more on Celebrity.

[usha]

Turn to the East and repeat, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you'. Then step out and ask the Poolboy if he wants to go on a fun vacation.

I just love this one!:p

(I wouldn't seriously recommend that the OP should do that, though:eek:)

[cruiseinfoseeker]

...I know they'll let him into dinner b/c I've seen people wearing jeans and t-shirts on formal night--I just never expected to be part of the you-can't-mean-us crowd...

 

My suggestion (although it won't be popular with the masses) is just to let him go any way HE feels comfortable.

 

Then report back after the cruise and let everyone that you agreed with before on this oh-so-important topic that really it WASN"T a big deal.

 

BUT if you are going to be so self conscious about it; I would suggest telling him that so that you don't think about his clothing all evening. That would actually be something that WOULD ruin the evening.

[Spender Nui]

Turn to the East and repeat, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you'. Then step out and ask the Poolboy if he wants to go on a fun vacation. Explain to the DH (well, DexH now) that since he doesn't want to follow one of the basics and wants to act and dress like a teen, you'll take a real teen with you instead.

 

Or....

 

Tell him that's fine, there are other venues to eat at on Formal Night. Join him if you like, or stay with your tablemates and let him eat where he pleases.

 

Or....

 

Drop him off at the Kids Program that night.

 

Or....

 

Just enjoy dinner and let him dress as he wishes. It's his issue, not yours.

 

Funny how it's always us guys who insist on acting like kids, coming up with the lamest excuses, 'I wear I tie every day'. Yup, and they pay you to do it, so now your wife is asking, but you won't do it. You'll do it for money though...... there's a thought, tell him you'll up his allowance.

 

OK, I had fun with that one. I'd go with just go to Formal Night and enjoy. Don't look around to see how many others dressed as he is, just enjoy and let him sneak peeks hoping other adult/teens are around.

 

Denny

 

I see you've spent some time in the sand too. But that was only a male choice.

 

Tom answer the OP's question I think if you get the tie on him he's borderline socially acceptable and should be OK.

[hancock]

While the sports coat isn't the same as formal, I wouldn't be offended if he wore that to formal night's dinner. It shows respect for the dress code, at least, in spirit. Keep him happy!

[Karynanne]

There is always Alternative Dining.

[FinelyCruising]

I'd tell Pop's here's the deal...stop your whining.

 

If you want to be with me, there's a price you have to pay, I'm a Genie in a bottle, you've got to rub me the right way.:)

[dkjretired]

It may also be interesting as to what Celebrity will do after they go to the new Select and Traditional Dining in September. Will they actually enforce their own rules or go the other way and loosen the dress codes again.

[Jeka]

It may also be interesting as to what Celebrity will do after they go to the new Select and Traditional Dining in September. Will they actually enforce their own rules or go the other way and loosen the dress codes again.

 

What does Select have to do with dressing on formal night. It will be in the same dining rooms as traditional, so not sure where you are going with your comment.

 

As far as "rules" are concerned, they're not enforcing them now, so why would they in September, but then again what "rules" do they have that they aren't enforcing?

[sunshine 229]

If it is important to you, and you will feel uncomfortable showing up in the dinning room with a husband who is, in your opinion, not dressed in keeping with the dress code then I would suggest that you tell him that, and tell him that if he chooses not to wear 'formal' attire on formal night that you will be dinning in the alternate venue and he can join you there or go to the dinning room on his own.

[winddncer]

MysteryReader -

 

I think we are on the same cruise so I need to make sure my DH doesn't see this thread! Otherwise he will volunteer to keep your husband company by leaving his suit at home. I got him to agree to bring a suit by offering to put it in my suitcase! Luckily my DH loves the food on formal night, so I didn't have to struggle very hard. You would think suits are made out of poison ivy the way they work to avoid having to wear one.

 

Maybe a suit feels to men like pantyhose to women? Maybe that's the problem.

[Quendryth]

If it is important to you, and you will feel uncomfortable showing up in the dinning room with a husband who is, in your opinion, not dressed in keeping with the dress code then I would suggest that you tell him that, and tell him that if he chooses not to wear 'formal' attire on formal night that you will be dinning in the alternate venue and he can join you there or go to the dinning room on his own.

 

I totally agree with you on this. Why would any spouse put their loved one in such an uncomfortable position. I think he is very selfish. I guess I am very lucky. My DH works in construction and wears "grubs" to work every day. On cruises he absolutely loves wearing: 1. Jacket & pants for casual night. 2. Tuxedo for formal nights. 3. A suit anyother time he feels like.

 

Why can't this other person just be nice to his wife on their cruise?

 

Just my 2 cents worth!

 

Happy Cruising!

 

Faith

[dkjretired]

What does Select have to do with dressing on formal night. It will be in the same dining rooms as traditional, so not sure where you are going with your comment.

 

As far as "rules" are concerned, they're not enforcing them now, so why would they in September, but then again what "rules" do they have that they aren't enforcing?

 

I will answer your question and not express a personal opinion on my beliefs of the dress code.

 

I only posed a question that if they were making some changes they might make other changes with the dining room like either enforcing their dress rules or not.

 

As far as the second part of your question, it is rather obvious. Celebrity issues suggestions, rules for the dining rooms which they used to enforce. Very simple, if you didn't wear the dress code in the evening you didn't get into the dining room. I have said for years since they stopped enforcing the dress codes, either lose them or use them. Currently they are not consistent from cruise to cruise, ship to ship.

 

Again, not my opinion on the dress code...

[FinelyCruising]

I will answer your question and not express a personal opinion on my beliefs of the dress code.

 

I only posed a question that if they were making some changes they might make other changes with the dining room like either enforcing their dress rules or not.

 

As far as the second part of your question, it is rather obvious. Celebrity issues suggestions, rules for the dining rooms which they used to enforce. Very simple, if you didn't wear the dress code in the evening you didn't get into the dining room. I have said for years since they stopped enforcing the dress codes, either lose them or use them. Currently they are not consistent from cruise to cruise, ship to ship.

 

Again, not my opinion on the dress code...

 

Don I had exactly the same thoughts as you did when I heard of the concept.

[Denny01]

Lots of inputs and comments OP. Any comment from you?

 

Denny

[Can'tstopcruising]

I understand your dilemma. My DH squacks about bringing his tux on a vacation, but so far he still does it.

 

What do they say?

 

1) Pick your fights. In the scheme of things, this is too inconsequenial to fight over.

 

2) Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

If it were me, I would go to the MDR, wear a big smile and enjoy. Most people wil not even be aware of his clothes. The few that are very adamant about dresscode happen to be very vocal here. But, truthfully, in any social situation, the average person is more concerned about how he or she looks than how a stranger looks.

 

Don't worry. Be happy!

[dkjretired]

Don I had exactly the same thoughts as you did when I heard of the concept.

 

I forgot also to say that the reason I posted it was it might make a difference in how the OP approaches the cruise with her husband. Basically, there could be a change in September from what she is thinking now. I don't think they will change but the OP deserves to keep it for consideration.

[Mysteryreader]

I posted this thread partly tongue-in-chk b/c I know how seriously (over-seriously) some people take this issue. In most respects dh is an OK guy, but this formal wear thing has been an issue as long as I've known him. (Some trauma in a past life maybe? <bg>) I have no hope he is going to change his mind. I'm going to have to suck it up and pretend I don't even notice what he's wearing. If he weren't willing to wear a sport coat and tie, then I'd be more upset, but cruises are supposed to fun, not the provide the grounds for divorce.

 

OTOH, if you're one of those whose dh wears formal wear w/o a single word of protest, count your blessings.

 

M/R