Spouse Doesn't Like Crusing <sigh>

[MsAbs]

My first cruise was in 1988 and was hooked. My first husband and I kept talking about taking a cruise, but it was one of those things we never got around doing. After my divorce, I booked my first solo cruise and had a blast. I took a couple of solo cruises and really wasn't looking to remarry. Then out of the blue, I met this wonderful man and a year later we married. That was 7 years ago and unfortunately we haven't had the money for a vacation much less a cruise. I was hoping 2014 would be the year that we take a vacation and I've brought up going on a cruise, but he keeps bringing up all the latest mishaps that have been in the news. Fuel for the fire as far as he's concern... it's just one more reason NOT to go on a cruise.

 

I'm so sad. I don't see a cruise in my future. :(

[paul929207]

Tell him we have been on about 40 cruises for about 600 nights and had a wonderful time every minute.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Is there another woman who would love to go on a cruise? Somebody might want to go (the high cost of a solo supplement or for safety reasons) with you. Then you return and he may still be negative but you'll have the fun experience. Or he may change his mind.

 

There could be other reasons such as fear of getting sea sick. My mother, who gets motion sickness at the turn of a key, did finally go on a cruise in her 70s, wearing the patch, and actually enjoyed her cruise.

 

There's one guy who started a thread about crime onboard and seems to want to cancel the honeymoon cruise he's booking or booked. I just told my hubby about that and he brought up that you can find crime anywhere so at least being on board a cruise ship would cut that down a little bit. I suggested to this guy that maybe he's just trying to invent reasons not to go on the cruise and should sit down with his fiance and plan a different honeymoon.

 

I was one of those who didn't want to go on a cruise (even though I could have gone on one for free once). But I met a guy who had already enjoyed his first cruise. So he took me on an one-day gamblers special out of San Diego. Then we booked a 7-day cruise, and since then (1994), we've been on 11 cruises together (our daughter has been on 8 of those) and any vacation that was more than two days, have included a cruise, except for our honeymoon in Hawaii.

[superduper123]

My first cruise was in 1988 and was hooked. My first husband and I kept talking about taking a cruise, but it was one of those things we never got around doing. After my divorce, I booked my first solo cruise and had a blast. I took a couple of solo cruises and really wasn't looking to remarry. Then out of the blue, I met this wonderful man and a year later we married. That was 7 years ago and unfortunately we haven't had the money for a vacation much less a cruise. I was hoping 2014 would be the year that we take a vacation and I've brought up going on a cruise, but he keeps bringing up all the latest mishaps that have been in the news. Fuel for the fire as far as he's concern... it's just one more reason NOT to go on a cruise.

 

I'm so sad. I don't see a cruise in my future. :(

 

I can relate. I just remarried in March. My husband won't cruise either... :(

[diamond forever]

We have been married for 57 years. we have a great marriage. I am a full blown traveler and cruiser. My husband is not. He just went with me on a 31 day cruise. He does not whine ... He is not difficult but it is NOT his things He has been gracious to let me travel without him.... So now I am keeping my eyes open for someone compatible to cruise with.

that is not easy. I am attending a travel group that has speakers this month.. will keep my eyes and heart open . I guess I just want to say we are all wired different.... That is not a bad thing

[Sherlock43031]

remind him what happened to your last husband that didn't get around to cruising with you.

[JimAOk1945]

My wife was very reluctant to take a cruise even though I would gently suggest it. This went on for a few years. Then one of her brothers went on a cruise with his family.

 

When he and his wife came for a visit after returning home, he couldn't stop talking about how much he enjoyed it. And he was very reluctant to go on a cruise prior to his experience.

 

Sometimes it takes a reluctant cruiser who has had a positive experience to encourage another reluctant cruiser to give it a try.

 

So here we are, ten cruises later. After that first cruise, my wife got on the computer and picked out the next one. She is the one who decides where and when we will cruise! :D

[donaldsc]

So go without him. My wife and I have been known to take separate vacations when we can't agree on a trip. I have taken 2 winter vacations to Alaska and a winter vacation to Yellowstone. She stayed home or visited the grand-kids.

 

DON

[wdw1972]

So hubby doesn't want to cruise - nothing wrong with that. What doesn't make sense is for the wife to NOT cruise because hubby doesn't want to! Marriage doesn't mean you're attached at the hip. Do the things you both enjoy together, and do the things you don't both enjoy, individually.

 

In our case I love cruising and cruise at least twice a year. Hubby likes it but once every few years or so is plenty to him. So, I do (and LOVE) many solo cruises. We leave on a cruise together Sunday....hope I'm not wishing I was solo by Monday ;-)

 

A woman (or man) who wants to cruise but doesn't because their spouse won't...that makes no sense.

 

Sue/WDW1972

Nieuw Amsterdam 1/5/14

DCL Dream 11/7/14

[Scrapnana]

So hubby doesn't want to cruise - nothing wrong with that. What doesn't make sense is for the wife to NOT cruise because hubby doesn't want to! Marriage doesn't mean you're attached at the hip. Do the things you both enjoy together, and do the things you don't both enjoy, individually.

 

In our case I love cruising and cruise at least twice a year. Hubby likes it but once every few years or so is plenty to him. So, I do (and LOVE) many solo cruises. We leave on a cruise together Sunday....hope I'm not wishing I was solo by Monday ;-)

 

A woman (or man) who wants to cruise but doesn't because their spouse won't...that makes no sense.

 

Sue/WDW1972

Nieuw Amsterdam 1/5/14

DCL Dream 11/7/14

 

Great philosophy! Life is too short to put things off that you really enjoy.

[SuitCaseBears]

My keeper husband (the one after the practice husband) was very skeptical about cruising, and I had never been so I couldn't really give him first hand reasons why he was WRONG WRONG WRONG other than I just thought we'd love it.

 

ANYWAY - we went on a short 2 night cruise and although it was not what we'd hoped in many ways - it was enough to convince him he was (a) not going to die a watery death; (b) was not going to get sea sick; © was not going to be forced to socialize with people he didn't like; (d) was not going to be bored; (e) was not going to feel trapped; (f-z) was going to like a longer cruise.

 

Maybe you can combine the cruise with another vacation of his choice as a compromise. How bad can 2 or 3 nights be?

 

Also - when I was doing this, I was going to get a BIG suite because for 2 nights they are not much more than a smaller cabin. The lady at the cruise line (bless her heart) suggested a balcony but not suite cabin saying "if you love the big suite, you'll be afraid to down grade for a longer cruise and for the longer cruises the price difference is a lot more. But if you like the cruise in the smaller cabin - then you can choose if you want to spend more.

 

It was great advice for us.

[zoncom]

Outside his comfort zone? Bet his parents did not travel. Sounds like my X. It was a factor in divorcing. I have now been on almost 50 cruises.Most I have paid for myself.

[PennyAgain]

My sweet husband will only cruise is the ship is going to a destination he wants to visit. I have a list of places he wants to see and seek out cruises (that he sees as comfortable transportation) and it works out for us.

[Lerin]

Can you work out a compromise?

Maybe do a 2 week vacation that includes a 7 day cruise that you pick and a 7 day land based vacation of his choice?

 

We do something quite similar with many of our vacations.

Though we both are pretty easy to please, dh prefers hiking, mountains, big cities and historical sites. I prefer shopping, quaint towns, amusement parks, and beaches.

On nearly every trip we try to compromise on our tastes(i.e.: we did 4 days in the heart of Paris, followed by 4 days in a B&B in Burgundy wine country.)

 

Once in awhile we will go separate ways such as a cruise in Italy. He hiked to Mt. Etna while I took a beach day.

 

Doing it this way, we've never had to take separate vacations.

 

Good luck. :)

[ehfl]

I went on a cruise a few weeks ago with my sister and her family. Her husband did not want to go at all. He finally gave in at the last minute and decided to go anyway, against his better judgement.

 

From the time he stepped on the ship, he had an amazing time. He was wowed by the ship, the service, the food, and the activities. He had one of his best vacations ever, and is looking forward to the next cruise.

 

If your husband won't go, then find a friend or two and go on your own. Take lots of pictures to show what he missed.

[MCC retired]

I often encountered the reluctant husband with all the reasons not to take his first cruise in my 17+ years selling cruises for a mega cruise only agency.

It is very common .

Always the same objections , boredom, seasick,$$ , can't get off , ect..

After convincing him to give it a try (usually for the spouse's sake) they came back , again & again . The husband then became the one contacting me for future cruises.

[DirtyDawg]

My keeper husband (the one after the practice husband) was very skeptical about cruising, and I had never been so I couldn't really give him first hand reasons why he was WRONG WRONG WRONG other than I just thought we'd love it.

 

ANYWAY - we went on a short 2 night cruise and although it was not what we'd hoped in many ways - it was enough to convince him he was (a) not going to die a watery death; (b) was not going to get sea sick; © was not going to be forced to socialize with people he didn't like; (d) was not going to be bored; (e) was not going to feel trapped; (f-z) was going to like a longer cruise.

 

Maybe you can combine the cruise with another vacation of his choice as a compromise. How bad can 2 or 3 nights be? ....

 

That's how my DW got me to go on a cruise. We did a weekend 3 nighter to get my feet wet ;). She had cruised many times before and really liked it but I was not keen on the idea. I was concerned that I'd be bored out of my mind. I didn't immediately take to cruising but the experience wasn't as bad as I had feared. It took a couple of more short cruises to really start to like cruising. So Op, maybe combining a short cruise with a land vacation would be suitable for your situation.

[printingchick]

I appreciate these encouraging posts!! I used to cruise annually, until an extended period of unemployment resulting from the sale of the company where I worked. I was left economically land-locked while trying to recover financially!

 

My BF and I have been dating for over three years. He has never cruised, and doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic to try it. His 18-year-old daughter once said to me, "You'll never get my dad on a cruise!"

 

A little over a year ago, I booked a cruise for the two of us and GAVE it to him for a birthday gift. I'd accumulated so many RCL Visa points during my cruise hiatus, it was practically two-for-one cruise fare! I figured he couldn't refuse a GIFT!

 

Just before I gave him the cruise (which was 10 months prior to our embarkation day in March 2014), he started talking about all the cruise fiascoes. He even uttered those dreaded words: "You'll never get me on a cruise!" HORRORS! I'd already booked the cruise and the pre-cruise hotel!!

 

He's warming up to the idea, particularly since the snow has begun to fall here. Despite the literal deluge of cruise information I've provided, he still has trouble recalling the name of our ship. He is able to name most of the five ports of call now. That's a big improvement! He seems to be getting more excited about the excursions, but I think he's still ambivalent about the cruise itself.

 

I'm hoping, like others mentioned here, he LOVES it. I can't imagine vacationing without him...any more than I can imagine giving up cruising. At best, we'd have to find a compromise!

 

I'll know in 10 weeks. Wish me luck!!

[2bthereagain]

Advice from one Tennessee wife to another :D

 

I am 42 and my hubby is 52. When I married my husband 3 years ago his idea of a vacation was camping in the mudpit at Talladega for a week. IN A TENT..... Which is NOT my cup of tea! I hate racing, I hate camping, and I hate being squashed in with a bunch of drunks....(unless it's on a cruise of course!).

 

It took some convincing but I managed to get him on that first cruise because I promised him that if he would go on a cruise, I would camp out at Talladega. He became so hooked on cruising that now he saves all of his vacation days for the next cruise. And I never had to go to Talladega. Awesome!

 

Moral of the story..... promise him whatever it takes to get him on that ship and the rest will take care of itself.

Edited January 2, 2014 by 2bthereagain

[Karysa]

You found love again so not cruising would be a small price to pay to me. Find a vacation that you would both look forward to and enjoy. :)

[Sandy Sails]

The secret is to meet somebody on a cruise and marry them. Although it "may" be too late for you now ;), I met my husband on a cruise so no excuse for either of us. He likes it better than I do though.

We bought a fancy RV last year so now all of our vacations are spent glamour camping. With the dog.

Some day we'll cruise again...

[flucocruiser]

Oh for god sakes (no offense)tell him to grow a pair these mishaps are so rare the chances of it happening to him is slim if he fells comfortable going on a plane or train then he can get on a ship.

[zoncom]

If you want to cruise BOOK IT, a shortie. Ruby Princess and Celebrity Constellation both doing short ones out of FL. Make it a Valentines, Christmas, or birthday present. If he refuses to go, you go. Only lost a few hundreds $. Both these are great ships, really too nice for short cruises in my opinion. OR tell him you want to alternate vacation selections. You choose one for cruise; he chooses whatever for next vacation.Plan together.

Edited January 4, 2014 by zoncom

[Krazy Kruizers]

OP

I feel so sorry for you. It did take me a few years to convince my DH that I was tired of touring all over the world and living out of a couple of suitcases.

I explained how wonderful it would be to get on a ship and unpack and visit many ports.

Once he did that first cruise -- actually 2 cruises -- back-to-back -- he was sold.

[MsAbs]

When we first met, we lived in different towns. When we got married, I moved to his town. I was unable to find a job due to recession. Also the company I was working for was sold and my position was eliminate. They did give me a new position, but that didn't work out for me. My DH is self-employed and owns a small business. Now I run his office and help with the administration side of his business. With the recession, we're still struggling to make ends meet. Then there is finding time to shut down the business while we go on vacation, so it's been 7 years since either one of us has had a vacation.

 

I think the inclusive-resorts will probably be our thing. Several or our friends and family like to go on cruises and I've talked to them about going. Hopefully he will come around and we'll go on a cruise with them.

 

Right now I'm just ready for warm-sunny beach getaway... especially with temperatures today at 6˚F!