Can Crew Members do this??

[Yehootu]

Frankly, I think it's better to just provide money in the form of an extra tip so they can enjoy the meal they want in the company they want. DH was walking back to the ship last winter and saw two waiters, husband and wife; enjoying lunch with their few hours off. He had a quiet word with their waitress, paid for their meal and left them alone.

 

On our last cruise on the Island, our room steward ED was onboard with his wife. I asked them if they'd get time off in Aruba and he said they would. I gave him money for he and his wife to have a nice lunch on us.

Tim

[pablo222]

I agree totally...never understood this need/desire/desperation to get to know staff and/or get close to them...

 

I often make friends on cruises -- passengers and crew.

It never occured to me to think:

 

"I won't be friends with you, because you are only crew".

 

Several crew members have been to my home.

 

Right now, I have a cruise booked for November. Some pax I met on a previous cruise

wanted me to come with them. And, one of my favorite waitresses just got her contract

for the same ship. I expect we will all dine at her station, and have a great time.

Edited July 3, 2014 by pablo222

[Shogun]

Hi All

 

I do not think you can set out to make friends with crew or fellow passengers.

 

It will happen or it will not.

 

However being introduced to a crew member .by another does help. Break the ice.

 

When crew contact you while not on a cruise or send you gifts they are doing this because they are your friend.

 

Having crew cry when you cruise ends or cry again when they meet you on another cruise brings a lump to your throat

 

Now crew know some great places shore and to be invited to meet them there is nice

 

Only ever seen senior crew get a day off even two and three stripe officers get time of in hours

 

One of the nicest things that we have come across was from a low ranking officer who we knew but did not know he was on our cruise.

At check in our cruise cards had sticky note on them the lady told us to wait and made a phone call our off duty friend appeared and welcomed us back to his ship

 

Yours Shogun

 

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Forums mobile app

[Hlitner]

There are some very good passenger/crew relationships, but they mostly occur among passengers who do a lot of cruising (we are talking many months a year) on longer cruises. We have a good Aussie friend who cruises a lot on HAL (he is a 5 Star Mariner) and has bonded with quite a few crew members (mostly in the beverage department). When HAL ships are in his port he will (if home) invite lots of crew over to his home for a BBQ...and they do come. We ourselves have made several good friends on ships, but they are all officers (and some of their wives). But even officers get very little time ashore in ports as they are paid to work, not be tourists :). Ships also have a safety requirement that they must maintain a certain number of crew (generally across all departments) onboard, while in port, because of safety issues. If there is a major emergency in port (like a fire) there has to be sufficient staff to handle the emergency and conduct the normal evacuation procedures (which takes a lot of people).

 

Another good example are the ships physicians. We have a good friend who works (a few months a year) as the Medical Officer on a HAL ship. As is the practice on many cruise ships, HAL actually carries 2 physicians on most voyages, one of whom deals primarily with passengers and another who is assigned to the crew. When in port, one of the 2 physicians must be aboard at all times and it is normally the same with the Nursing staff.

 

Hank

Edited July 3, 2014 by Hlitner

[pablo222]

When crew contact you while not on a cruise or send you gifts they are doing this because they are your friend.

 

Having crew cry when you cruise ends or cry again when they meet you on another cruise brings a lump to your throat

 

When a girl is hugging you, crying, wiping away tears and

saying I never cry over passengers, I don't think she is

trying for an extra tip.

[billco]

I agree totally...never understood this need/desire/desperation to get to know staff and/or get close to them...just enjoy your vacation and those you are traveling with...it's great to be friendly/kind etc and hopefully staff will return it with kindness/smile help etc...

We have no need/desire/desperation to know staff and/or get close to them or even get to know those who do have that need/desire/desperation. But, I don't try to understand those who do. As long as they are enjoying their cruise experience and not adversely affecting mine, I am fine with it.

[karena1]

In the past I've been told by crew members that they spent the day on one of the islands because it was their day off. If so, are the passengers allowed to spent time with them or buy them a drink/meal or gift?

 

Yes, you can. We have been lucky enough to spend many hours with staff on beaches. Once in Cozumel, the couple in front of us was married and on the ship, off for the first time together in a year. We spend probably 3 hours talking to them that day. So interesting! They told us their hopes/dreams and we spend a very enjoyable afternoon with them.

[Colo Cruiser]

We have no need/desire/desperation to know staff and/or get close to them or even get to know those who do have that need/desire/desperation. But, I don't try to understand those who do. As long as they are enjoying their cruise experience and not adversely affecting mine, I am fine with it.

 

 

Desperation?? Really?? Where would that come from?? :confused:

[Thrak]

I know that one of my tablemates spent some time, ahem, with a crewmember at one of our ports. She shared all the sordid details at dinner.

 

Ick.

 

:eek:

 

Ewwwwwwwwwww... Definitely TMI. Some people can be so tacky. Sounds like it probably made you pretty uncomfortable.

 

I do like the posting above about quietly paying for the couple's meal in a restaurant. That sort of thing can be nice no matter where or when it's done. If I were to do this I doubt I would even give the server my name but would, instead, just do it anonymously. If I gave any info at all I'd tell them to let the couple know that the lunch had been paid for by "a grateful passenger" or something of that sort. I wouldn't need to have my name, stateroom, etc. attached to the giving of the gift. I agree with the other folks above that this was a very thoughtful thing to do.

Edited July 3, 2014 by Thrak

[Lovtotravel2]

I am amazed as I read this how self centered many of the posts are. I was also very impressed by the random act of paying a meal and not making them tell you all the juicy secrets of living on board.

 

They have to be nice to you on ship or off or they lose their job. they can not risk a passenger complaining about them.

 

They get a rare afternoon off, 5 hours to have some fun, and yeah keep telling your self they loved spending 3 hours talking to the American who wants to bond with them. If anyone you randomly encounter at work pounced on you and destroyed your little time off you would have them arrested for stalking.

 

They deserve to be treated with respect, and for people to respect thier private time.

[whogo]

My thought is that one should be friendly with the crew, but not friends.

[KarateMan]

I think some of the passengers attitudes who want to ingratiate and make friends with crew is an unrealistic sense of entitlement and a very self centred attitude.

 

I am ex-Navy and I know what it is like.

 

Most people think "Me, me, me", they forget to realise that the crew have parents, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children, nieces and nephews, school friends, work friends, yet somehow many a passenger would seem to think that despite all this that they should also come first in the crews social life and want to be their friend.

 

Many of the crew would find it creepy that passengers do this. They cant say anything because they would lose their job or they may not have the advanced social skills to deal with the unwanted attention or friendship advances that come their way.

 

You have to remember that they have family too.

 

They also have a mother that they may want to call on their day off. They also have a father who they might want to call and keep up to date.

 

Just imagine if in your line of work your customers/clients/business acquaintances who only associate with you due to your line of work started imposing on your social life and hampering access to your family. It would make you very frustrated.

 

Most people lack the insight to realise the crew have family too and they have the "me, me, me" attitude where they seem to think that their friendship somehow outweighs or comes above a crew members right to spend their free time as they choose to spend time with their family or the people who really matter.

 

Just think of it when you are going home from work to see your family and you are delayed and remember how frustrating it gets when you lose that valuable time, it is that feeling the crew get when passengers try to proposition them on their day off.

 

As someone who is ex-Navy and has worked on ships in more strenuous conditions than a cruise ship crew I know what it is like to be isolated from family, sure you have your own family on the ship but they will never come first in your time off, you associate with the people you work with but at the end of the day there comes a time when people need to spend time with the people who really matters.

 

The crews free time is theirs. They have earned it so let them have it is my opinion on the matter.

Edited July 4, 2014 by KarateMan

[shredie]

 

they may not have the advanced social skills to deal with the unwanted attention or friendship advances that come their way.

 

 

I tend to agree with you about passengers befriending crew, but you really lost me here. It seems to me crew ship staff must have the best social skills in order to do their jobs.

[Momma Mojito]

Desperation?? Really?? Where would that come from?? :confused:

 

I too agree with your opinion

[parisbully]

I doubt that includes the wait/service staff.

 

Yes, it does include the wait service staff. Done that many times.

[Colo Cruiser]

Yes, it does include the wait service staff. Done that many times.

 

 

You have eaten meals with wait/service staff onboard?

Where and when?

[caribill]

If you really want to make a staff member who cannot get off the ship happy, ask if there is anything you can buy for him/her when you are on shore.

[MicCanberra]

If you really want to make a staff member who cannot get off the ship happy, ask if there is anything you can buy for him/her when you are on shore.

Yes, they do appreciate that, we have done a snack run in the past.:D

[Shogun]

Hi All

One simple test to see if they are being nice or more

 

Is to wait to the end of the cruise and see if they give you their home address, e mail or Facebook details without you asking

 

Yours Shogun

 

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Forums mobile app

[Cruiserkenn]

Hi All

One simple test to see if they are being nice or more

 

Is to wait to the end of the cruise and see if they give you their home address, e mail or Facebook details without you asking

 

Yours Shogun

 

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Forums mobile app

 

Thank you, Shogun, for your wisdom. As always, your comments ring true.

[Cruiserkenn]

I am amazed as I read this how self centered many of the posts are. I was also very impressed by the random act of paying a meal and not making them tell you all the juicy secrets of living on board.

 

They have to be nice to you on ship or off or they lose their job. they can not risk a passenger complaining about them.

 

They get a rare afternoon off, 5 hours to have some fun, and yeah keep telling your self they loved spending 3 hours talking to the American who wants to bond with them. If anyone you randomly encounter at work pounced on you and destroyed your little time off you would have them arrested for stalking.

 

They deserve to be treated with respect, and for people to respect thier private time.

 

Yes, well said, thanks. We all need private time to "reset" ourselves. Just a few minutes of private time can mean everything. Thanks again.

[pablo222]

Right now, I have a cruise booked for November. Some pax I met on a previous cruise

wanted me to come with them. And, one of my favorite waitresses just got her contract

for the same ship. I expect we will all dine at her station, and have a great time.

 

Another waitress message me this morning, and she just got contract

for same ship. Can't wait!

[pablo222]

They also have a mother that they may want to call on their day off. They also have a father who they might want to call and keep up to date.

 

So, when we're all on a bus together back to the ship, and I give

a crew member my phone to call home on, am I intruding on their time?

 

Free time for crew is really, really short. They all like to multi-task

when ever they have any time.

[Dreamer333]

In my line of work, I get about 5-10 new clients a day. If I were to see any them outside of work, I'd hide or avoid them, lol. While I love talking and getting to know them at work, and genuinely appreciate the business, I don't want to spend time with them outside of work during my personal time.

But that's just me. My guess is some of the crew enjoy spending their time off with passengers, some don't, and some are too polite to say otherwise and get stuck spending their free time with people they'd rather not be with.

Edited July 4, 2014 by Dreamer333

[Loonbeam]

This goes back to the concept of gifts.

 

If you cruise a lot and get to truly know a crew member and their preferences, there is no problem being a little more personal.

 

However, until you get to that point, distance is polite and cash is king. Buying lunch without fanfare as noted, covers both of those.