What do you like and/or dislike about sharing a table with strangers?

[navybankerteacher]

Yes Asia, I'm sorry to be wrong or offensive. I was unaware.

 

Of course, you will want to keep your high definition PC antennae set on "perceive". In a few years saying "Asia" may be seen as an offensive display of continentism.

[bUU]

What I'm perceiving is some white privilege. Strophic rightfully pointed out that Buck referred to people in a way those people find offensive. Buck acknowledged that and apologized. That's all that needs be said. It's proper to refer to people in the manner those people choose to be referred to rather than how you want to refer to them. I'm sure you would wish the same for yourself.

[Strophic]

"Politically correct" is a meaningless conservative buzzword. For some extra fun, there's actually a chrome app that replaces all instances of the term with "treating people with kindness and respect." Install it and laugh at how ridiculous the headlines have become.

 

"Has treating people with kindness and respect gone too far??"

 

I'm very certain the people complaining about NOT using "the orient" are the same types who would go around calling people queers and negros and complaining that that's suddenly not allowed either.

 

Maybe offensive terms don't bother you because you enjoy a position in which no real cutting terms exist for people in your group. You might get annoyed at the word "cracker," maybe, but that term is so toothless. You don't know how it feels to be the target of a real slur, to feel that punch to the gut.

[champagne123]

"Politically correct" is a meaningless conservative buzzword. For some extra fun, there's actually a chrome app that replaces all instances of the term with "treating people with kindness and respect." Install it and laugh at how ridiculous the headlines have become.

 

"Has treating people with kindness and respect gone too far??"

 

I'm very certain the people complaining about NOT using "the orient" are the same types who would go around calling people queers and negros and complaining that that's suddenly not allowed either.

 

Maybe offensive terms don't bother you because you enjoy a position in which no real cutting terms exist for people in your group. You might get annoyed at the word "cracker," maybe, but that term is so toothless. You don't know how it feels to be the target of a real slur, to feel that punch to the gut.

Ugh...yeah, I DO. Mom was white and dad was black. Called an "oreo" my whole upbringing. My children and grandchildren also have black/white traits. Don't lecture ME about life. YOU have NO idea. Just be proud that you called someone out. That is all YOU care about.

[Cyber Kat]

Disheartening is a good description and I have little patience for folks who lash out as bUU has.

 

Most of us here have some amount of emotional passion for cruising. Lucky for us this forum provides an outlet to express that passion with like minded friends. Cruising is just fun to talk about.

 

The problem is that sometimes posters comments attack our passion and it hurts because we have so much emotion tied up in it. Our instinct is to react by attacking back. Luckily most of us have enough pragmatic sensibility to balance the emotion instinct so that we don't react to every single comment that strikes at our passion.

 

But not everyone has the maturity to control their emotion. I actually feel sympathy for members here who consistently react by lashing out every time they feel offended by a post. If they lack the maturity to control their emotions of cruising, imagine how well they deal with the hard stuff like work, marriage, and raising kids. As much as they struggle here on the forum, this might just be the happiest place of their life.

 

Burt

 

Since there is no "like" button here - I will simply say Bravo! (y)

[champagne123]

Since there is no "like" button here - I will simply say Bravo! (y)

DOUBLE thumbs up.

[davekathy]

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...our preference is a table for two. No matter the meal. Has nothing to do with others just personal preference.

[sazzifrazz]

I prefer a private table. Our honey moon we had a two top and it was perfect. Another trip we were at a 12 table and the other ten people were all together. It worked out fine and they were lovely people but we felt like we were intruding.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[Aquahound]

Since there is no "like" button here - I will simply say Bravo! (y)

 

DOUBLE thumbs up.

 

Make that 3 thumbs up. (y)(y)(y)

 

What's most ironic, is their signature line....considering they are the most sour on this thread, and one of the most sour on Cruise Critic for that matter.

 

By the way, with people like that among us, its no wonder why my preference is a table for 2.

[seadog18]

Just a question. Who decides whether a particular term is offensive?

[seadog18]

The other question is at what point in time does a word become offensive? For instance 50 odd years ago gay was just a word meaning happy. Less controversial but when did wicked become good?

[bUU]

Just a question. Who decides whether a particular term is offensive?

When it is a term referring to a group of people, it is offensive if those people say it is offensive.

[swedish weave]

When it is a term referring to a group of people, it is offensive if those people say it is offensive.

 

Often, only one or a few in a group are offended.

 

We used to call that "having a chip on their shoulder".

[luvtheships]

When it is a term referring to a group of people, it is offensive if those people say it is offensive.

 

 

 

Just give me some hot chocolate and crayons and I'm good

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[luvtheships]

The other question is at what point in time does a word become offensive? For instance 50 odd years ago gay was just a word meaning happy. Less controversial but when did wicked become good?

 

 

 

Personally I prefer the term sarsaparilla better than root beer.

 

Of course root beer will be a term that may well go away...so as to...

 

A. Not offend alcoholics who are teetering on the edge of the wagon

 

B. To not encourage underage drinking

 

 

Come to think of it I'm surprised it's still even called root beer. A young child could be drawn into drinking alcohol by calling a soda a beer

 

Not good not good at all since we all know people can't think for themselves anymore and we must control everyone ...for their own good

 

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[Strophic]

Just a question. Who decides whether a particular term is offensive?

 

Social and historical context. Generally speaking, if a term has historically been used to insult, degrade, or marginalize a group of people, the word becomes offensive. Of course, like everything else there is nuance and context to consider and things aren't black and white. For example, the word "queer" comes off differently when spat angrily out of the mouth of a bigot vs. being used by an LGBT individual to self-identify. Likewise, the N-word comes off very differently when used by a white person than when used by a black person.

 

There is not unanimous agreement in any group about which terms are considered offensive slurs and which can be reclaimed by people within the targeted group, since all groups are made up of individuals rather than a singularly-thinking hive mind. But, in general, you can get by without insulting people by using your social intelligence and minding your audience when you are using words that refer to someone's race/sexual orientation/etc. Just be a decent, empathetic person and respect that other people have unique experiences that you might not understand and you'll be fine.

 

It's really not an enormous effort to not be an insensitive jerk. I don't understand those people who make a big production out of the supposed hardship of not using slurs.

[navybankerteacher]

The other question is at what point in time does a word become offensive? For instance 50 odd years ago gay was just a word meaning happy. Less controversial but when did wicked become good?

 

The meanings of many words evolve over time. General usage is what finally defines a word --- sometimes new technology co-opts a word, sometimes new social norms bring about new usages - as in the above case of "gay".

[frisbeewife]

DH and I always get early seating in the MTD and prefer to sit at a table with others. We eat alone together every night at home and on vacation we like getting to know dinner companions over the length of the cruise, and enjoy asking what they did during the day and what plans they have for the next day. We've met people from all over the world and for the most part they've been wonderful.

 

On our last cruise we took our son, DIL, and 3 grandkids (ages 16, 14, and 7). I specifically asked that we be seated at a table big enough for other guests and we ended up at a table with another family consisting of a step-Dad, his wife, and her son and daughter who were in their late teens. We found the step-Dad to be a rude and boorish fellow, and the way he treated his step-kids was pretty awful. While the adults in our party were appalled by his behavior and had plenty of gossip material for after dinner, I could tell our older grandsons really learned a lot from that experience and gained a better appreciation of their own parents.

 

So we see dining in the MDR as a chance for learning experiences, of one kind or another. YMMV

[bUU]

Often, only one or a few in a group are offended.

Let's test your theory. Provide a few examples, and I'll try to find five people offended by the specific usage.

 

We used to call that "having a chip on their shoulder".

That sounds the same as a rationalization for callous insensitivity would sound.

[Moonlight2013]

Ok, sorry If this is out of place but what is the difference between calling someone an asian or one from the orient? I thought that would be the same? I am not from us, and I usually say he or she is asian or If I know what country they are from I say korean, chinese.... or what ever... I certainly dont want to be offensive.

[LynnTTT]

One test; if you feel the need to start your comment with "I'm not a racist, but......" go no furher with that statement.

[Strophic]

Ok, sorry If this is out of place but what is the difference between calling someone an asian or one from the orient? I thought that would be the same? I am not from us, and I usually say he or she is asian or If I know what country they are from I say korean, chinese.... or what ever... I certainly dont want to be offensive.

 

"Oriental" is an outdated term that has fallen out of favor. Kind of like how "black" and "negro" technically mean the same thing, but negro has a lot more baggage attached to it from the time period where it was most commonly used.

 

"Asian" is fine if you don't know someone's nationality. Hope that helps! :)

[swedish weave]

Let's test your theory. Provide a few examples, and I'll try to find five people offended by the specific usage.

 

That sounds the same as a rationalization for callous insensitivity would sound.

 

I will relate a personal experience.

 

I was invited to a party by a Mexican friend, and some of the guests resented my being there.

 

I told the host I would leave to avoid trouble, and he decided to stop the problem, and held a ceremony. He made me an honorary Mexican and insisted the others welcome me or they could leave.

 

Some of the offended guests are stI'll my friends.

[DirtyDawg]

I will relate a personal experience.

 

I was invited to a party by a Mexican friend, and some of the guests resented my being there.

 

I told the host I would leave to avoid trouble, and he decided to stop the problem, and held a ceremony. He made me an honorary Mexican and insisted the others welcome me or they could leave.

 

Some of the offended guests are stI'll my friends.

 

I guess they resented you being there because they didn't like meatballs. :)

[bUU]

snip

What words were only a few people offended by?

 

 

 

This message may have been entered using voice recognition. Please excuse any typos.