What do you like and/or dislike about sharing a table with strangers?

[john watson]

One test; if you feel the need to start your comment with "I'm not a racist, but......" go no furher with that statement.

 

I have always felt the furher was a bit racist.

 

Regards John

[slidergirl]

I don't know any of the major cruise lines that you HAVE to wear a tux and formal gown. What cruise line are you speaking about?

 

The poster is referring to the past dress requirements on the outdated Formal Nights. Remember - there was the "formal" night where men had to wear tuxes/black suits and women and to wear gowns.

[B4RK3R]

I have only had to share a table one cruise, my last. My fiance and I absolutely hated it. We had to share a table with a younger couple (We are 24 and 29 yo) who all they did was brag about how much money they spend on clothes and frivolous items, or they complained about everything. We shared absolutely nothing in common with them. The second couple only showed up once the whole cruise, they seemed nice, until we shared our respective careers. Apparently telling art major college students that I was a special victims detective for the city I lived in was not what they wanted to hear....

[john watson]

I have only had to share a table one cruise, my last. My fiance and I absolutely hated it. We had to share a table with a younger couple (We are 24 and 29 yo) who all they did was brag about how much money they spend on clothes and frivolous items, or they complained about everything. We shared absolutely nothing in common with them. The second couple only showed up once the whole cruise, they seemed nice, until we shared our respective careers. Apparently telling art major college students that I was a special victims detective for the city I lived in was not what they wanted to hear....

 

Shared tables for four are going to be the most risky, in my opinion. You are better off with a large shared table, if one couple starts bragging about how much they spend on trivia they are going to be put down early on. Most people do not want to know about what job I do, so it never gets mentioned.

 

Regards John

[Kevin7kodak7]

Shared tables for four are going to be the most risky, in my opinion. You are better off with a large shared table, if one couple starts bragging about how much they spend on trivia they are going to be put down early on. Most people do not want to know about what job I do, so it never gets mentioned.

 

Regards John

Lol. My wife always cringes anytime anyone ask what I do for a living. Im a legal investigator for a large Law Firm in Connecticut. Didn't get the luck of the Irish. But got the Irish Gift of Gab. Get asked a lot of questions and alway have some great stories. Was happier when I worked for Kodak, lol. So it's table for 2 to keep my better half, happy.

 

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[seadog18]

The only problem I have encountered in the MDR, although it mainly affected my companion who was trying to work to a schedule, was slow dining. The next course was delayed a long time every course and by the end the waiters were trying to get us to leave as the next sitting needed to start. Caused my friend a lot of stress.

 

The great thing of sharing a table is the diplomacy of keeping things convivial, happy and pleasant experience the whole cruise. I have met a wide range of people some of whom do unusual things. One guy drew a map of the table and wrote down everyone's name and sitting position. Everybody else laughed when he was rumbled and his wife disclosed his tactic.

 

Regards John

If I'm working to a schedule I either eat earlier or leave halfway through the meal and apologise for doing so. Its not as though we are going to succumb to starvation on a ship:D

[donaldsc]

We usually want to share even if we do anytime dining. However, with current politics being as poisonous as it is, I am thinking that we may want to go to 2 tops for a while. Someone at the table will bring up He Who Must Not be Named and the conversations will either stop completely, be stilted or an argument will start. I don't need that on a cruise.

 

DON

[navybankerteacher]

We usually want to share even if we do anytime dining. However, with current politics being as poisonous as it is, I am thinking that we may want to go to 2 tops for a while. Someone at the table will bring up He Who Must Not be Named and the conversations will either stop completely, be stilted or an argument will start. I don't need that on a cruise.

 

DON

 

More than once I have responded to an inflamatory opening comment by simply saying that people are likely to have very different views and it might be better to select a different topic.

[donaldsc]

After reading this thread I shall cease from wearing my hat into the MDR, I shall check it at the hat and coat check prior to entering.:cool:

 

What I hate is the people who wear their baseball caps into the MDR or any dining rooms - backwards.

 

DON

[Strophic]

Don't people know there are four topics not to bring up at the dinner table with relative strangers?

 

Religion

Abortion

Politics

Economics

 

Just don't bring it up!

[john watson]

Don't people know there are four topics not to bring up at the dinner table with relative strangers?

 

Religion

Abortion

Politics

Economics

 

Just don't bring it up!

 

That's actually five.

 

Regards John

[Laurie S.]

When I used to be stuck at a large table I usually could stop conversation pretty quickly when asked what I do. I'm an archaeologist and I would say I dig up dead bodies.

[DEGsy73]

Just about to venture on my first cruise, so I have nothing to offer by way of experience, however.... Although we have selected 'Freedom Dining' we fully intend to jump into the cruise experience with both feet by sharing a table with complete strangers. I can honestly say that I've read through this thread completely & mostly it was really very interesting, at least I know how NOT to behave anyway.

 

Thanks for all of your comments, very useful for my research. :D

[SeagoingMom]

To be honest, the gayer and more ethnically diverse my table is, the happier I am. It would be kind of boring to exclusively talk to straight white people in their mid-20's the whole cruise.

 

Especially in the light of the previous discussion on political correctness...

 

Your post interests me because I wonder what the response would be if someone posted the opposite of it -- how many people would come down on you like a ton of bricks if you wrote, "To be honest, the gayer and more ethnically diverse my table is, the unhappier I am. It would be anything but boring to exclusively talk to straight white people in their mid-20's the whole cruise."

Why, I wonder, does it seem to be acceptable in our society to post what you posted, but not the opposite? Why has no one defended the rights or at least the dignity of "straight white people in their mid-20's?" Why has no one deprecated the gross generalization -- the sexual-orientationism, racism and ageism -- represented by this description, as I imagine people would have done if you had posted the hypothetical comment (in green) above?

I feel you have every right to express yourself as you did -- and based on the fact that no one else commented at all on your post, I presume others on this thread feel you have this right as well. I also believe that someone has every right to both feel and post the opposite. But I wager that almost no one on this thread would have let a poster get away with the "flip side" of your comment. Does a hypothetical poster -- one who were to express an opposite view to yours -- have the same rights you have, and would such a poster get, as you did, no response of outrage? If not, why not?

In the context of dining with strangers, are we allowed to feel and even express, as you did, that we may not prefer to dine with people who differ from us in ways that are important to us, and likely to them as well -- your preferences had to do with sexual orientation, race and age -- or must we be "politically correct" and be seen to agree with the idea that we can, and therefore we must, make the effort to always learn something valuable from other people?

 

Though your post inspired these thoughts, these are philosophical questions offered for general discussion and not at all directed to you personally.

[SeagoingMom]

When I used to be stuck at a large table I usually could stop conversation pretty quickly when asked what I do. I'm an archaeologist and I would say I dig up dead bodies.

If I were cruising with you, you would be inundated with fascinated questions from me through the entire meal! I love to learn new things from folks who lead a different life than I do!!

[Cuervosar]

Don't people know there are four topics not to bring up at the dinner table with relative strangers?

 

Religion

Abortion

Politics

Economics

 

Just don't bring it up!

 

Add:

Music

Proper MDR Dining Attire on Formal err Elegant Night

Are shorts in the MDR ever appropriate for dinner

Carvival v RCCL

[Strophic]

On mobile right now so I'm not going to write a novel in response to you, SeagoingMom, since I feel like there's a lot to unpack in that comment.

 

But I think there's a big difference between saying "I like ethnic diversity," and saying "I only want to talk to white people." The point is that a cruise is a good opportunity to talk to people who aren't exactly the same as yourself.

 

I just get a very smililar vibe from your post as I get from people who say "well why isn't there a straight pride parade?"

[john watson]

Especially in the light of the previous discussion on political correctness...

 

Your post interests me because I wonder what the response would be if someone posted the opposite of it -- how many people would come down on you like a ton of bricks if you wrote, "To be honest, the gayer and more ethnically diverse my table is, the unhappier I am. It would be anything but boring to exclusively talk to straight white people in their mid-20's the whole cruise."

Why, I wonder, does it seem to be acceptable in our society to post what you posted, but not the opposite? Why has no one defended the rights or at least the dignity of "straight white people in their mid-20's?" Why has no one deprecated the gross generalization -- the sexual-orientationism, racism and ageism -- represented by this description, as I imagine people would have done if you had posted the hypothetical comment (in green) above?

I feel you have every right to express yourself as you did -- and based on the fact that no one else commented at all on your post, I presume others on this thread feel you have this right as well. I also believe that someone has every right to both feel and post the opposite. But I wager that almost no one on this thread would have let a poster get away with the "flip side" of your comment. Does a hypothetical poster -- one who were to express an opposite view to yours -- have the same rights you have, and would such a poster get, as you did, no response of outrage? If not, why not?

In the context of dining with strangers, are we allowed to feel and even express, as you did, that we may not prefer to dine with people who differ from us in ways that are important to us, and likely to them as well -- your preferences had to do with sexual orientation, race and age -- or must we be "politically correct" and be seen to agree with the idea that we can, and therefore we must, make the effort to always learn something valuable from other people?

 

Though your post inspired these thoughts, these are philosophical questions offered for general discussion and not at all directed to you personally.

The poster to whom you refer said he/she would be happier to mix with the diverse group and we can infer from this that if a narrow group of table mates were on the cruise he/she would presumably just be happy.

 

If I had to talk to straight white people in their mid-20's the whole cruise I would still find it fascinating. The said group have probably little understanding of many of the things older people have experienced and think totally differently. Mobile or cell phones have existed their entire lifetime during which nobody has ever walked on the moon. If someone gives you a phone number I am looking for a pen and piece of paper they just whip their phones out and press a few buttons or areas on the screen. Just a straight forward example but when their smart phone ipod or whatever fails they seem to be a bit lost. If you said to them you posted a letter to friends back home yesterday via reception they might think you had gone mad.

 

It's the difference which makes things interesting and absolutely everybody is different but certain social, ethnic, or sexually orientated people seem the same as all within the group but when you look closer you find they are not. You get an enormous insight when there is a slight disagreement within a group I find. It is helpful if you can keep a poker face and ask short relevant questions without laughing at appropriate moments. Expressions like "so what did you say?", "then what happened?" and "then what did she say?" keep conversation going nicely.

 

Regards John

Edited September 3, 2017 by john watson

[bUU]

Your post interests me because I wonder what the response would be if someone posted the opposite of it -- how many people would come down on you like a ton of bricks if you wrote, "To be honest, the gayer and more ethnically diverse my table is, the unhappier I am. It would be anything but boring to exclusively talk to straight white people in their mid-20's the whole cruise."

What if the person speaking is saying, "The more people different from me at my table, the happier I am. It would be kind of boring to exclusively talk to people just the same as me the whole cruise." Now look at the opposite of that: "The more people different from me at my table, the unhappier I am. It would anything but boring to exclusively talk to people just the same as me the whole cruise." If that restatement was not the previous poster's intent, then your observation is correct, i.e., that the second part of what the previous poster wrote was offensive. Of course, we're likely to encounter that when we go traveling in the world, as well.

 

It just so happens that this morning I woke to a relevant meme posted by a friend from my church: "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." - Mark Twain

[navybankerteacher]

 

...

 

It just so happens that this morning I woke to a relevant meme posted by a friend from my church: "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." - Mark Twain

 

Profound comment on the value of travel.

What does it imply about those couples who insist on tables for two so they won't have to dine with strangers?

[Tiggertastic]

We've been very fortunate to have some interesting table mates. We've never done fixed dining unless we're travelling as a large group using the full table. The other 50+ cruises we've been flexible and often ask to share a larger table of 6 or 8. When we've done 4 we've had some moments of 'please never again'. The one that stands out to this day was a few years ago when we shared a 10. 4 from Australia, 4 English and a USA couple on honeymoon. The two at one end couldn't hear the 2 on the other end properly. We were talking cricket and mentioned a term that the USA couple thought we were talking swingers and threw their room keys into the middle of the table. Stunned silence then raucous laughter ensued much to their embarrassment but they took it well the rest of the trip. The Australians were so drunk that when the rest of us sad hi the next day they had no recollection of who we were. The table of 10 didn't work but oh what memories. We did a 6 nighter not so long ago and all they could offer was a two, gosh dinner was boring.

 

 

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[cruzincurt]

Nothing, to each his own.

 

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[Buck Turgidson]

We like our MDR dinners with 4, 6, 8 or more table mates, my wife is a good conversationalist but my hearing is so bad even with a hearing aid that I can't hear what people are trying to say to me. I say pardon me, what , huh and I know it is frustrating for them also. I've tried a 2 top and my wife is fine with it so we may go that route more on our upcoming cruise. When the MDR is less crowded like breakfast or lunch I can usually hear well enough to converse with tablemates which I do enjoy talking to people from other countries and other parts of U.S.A. although on our last cruise a woman came across the table towards my wife because my wife thought her favorite political candidate was an Buffoon.

[navybankerteacher]

 

...

 

on our last cruise a woman came across the table towards my wife because my wife thought her favorite political candidate was an Buffoon.

 

This is why it is advisable to avoid sex, politics and religion as topics.

 

Although, on a long cruise, you may come to know your table mates well enough to recognize either similar attitudes, or (much rarer) the ability to discuss sensitive topics maturely with people holding different views. You shouldn't try to convert people to

your way, but it is interesting to understand their rationale for thinking as they do - non-judgmentally.

[Cyber Kat]

Profound comment on the value of travel.

 

What does it imply about those couples who insist on tables for two so they won't have to dine with strangers?

 

 

Just because you don't want to have DINNER with strangers doesn't mean you don't want to meet new people. I love meeting new people but if I find I don't care for them, I can suddenly remember a spa appointment or an activity I want to do elsewhere. I don't want to be locked into having to dine with these people every night. Yes, I know you can change tables but it just seems easier to get a table just for my group or DH and I from the start.

 

I've been reading CC threads for a long time and there are a lot of posters I for sure wouldn't want to find at my table ... and on the other hand I'm also quite sure there are some who would not want to find themselves sitting opposite me [emoji15]

 

 

 

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