Have you ever had to get back for an emergency?

[warmwinds]

Wrestling with a personal dilemma. 93 yo mil fell the other day and broke her hip and femur. Never a good thing, especially at that age. We've been here with her in Arizona for several days. She had surgery, is now out of ICU, and is doing better (relatively). We don't even live in AZ, but in Oregon. So we're not there all the time anyway. Her daughter (my sil) does live in AZ and keeps excellent watch over her. We're going back home (to Oregon) tomorrow in any case.

 

We're supposed to leave Friday (a week from today) to start our vacation/cruise. Everyone says "go" - doctors say "go", they say she is in no imminent danger.

 

We have the travel insurance. But if we have to get back, how much of a hassle is it if we're on an island, or at sea...it's the Western Carib, Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Cozumel, Labadee.

 

I know we can't put our lives on hold for something that "might" happen. But on the other hand we'd feel terrible if it did.

 

I'm just thinking out loud, I know everyone would do something different. I'm just asking about the logistics of getting back on short notice if anything like this has ever happened to you.

[Lovemychoos]

Thankfully, I've never been in that position, and hope I never am.

 

I do hope she makes a full and speedy recovery - you must be so worried that she'll be OK, and I really do feel for you.

 

One thing that did occur to me was regarding your insurance. If your ins co are aware of the situation, and have quoted your premium accordingly, all well and good. If not, you may have a problem if, in their speak' 'someone who may affect your ability to travel, or have an illness that would have a direct effect on your travel, etc, etc, etc' falls ill, and as a result you can't travel, or need to come home quickly, the might not cover you.

 

Always better to be sure, and have the conversation with them before you leave.

 

Hope everything goes OK, and you have a great cruise.

 

Louise

[krillsister]

My 90 year old MIL passed away on Sunday. My SIL (her daughter) left for a cruise on Saturday. My MIL has been declining in health for the past 2 yrs. We thought she was going to die 2 yrs ago. we also had many scares within the 2 years too!

Unfortunately, no one discussed what should be done prior to my SIL leaving for her cruise. After much deliberation and disagreements among the remaining 7 brothers & sisters, my SIL was informed. She decided to stay on her cruise. We are burying my MIL on Monday once she returns and Easter is over.

I would suggest that you discuss with your family members your intentions prior to going on the cruise if something should happen.

I say go. Enjoy yourselves.

[Soccer Mom 96]

I have never had to do this but I do have some thoughts on the logistics. First of all, you would have to wait until you reached a commercialized port of call...Labadee would probably not be an option. If you felt the need to interupt your trip, your best bet would be to contact your travel insurance company from the port of call before doing anything else. There should be a phone number for 24 hour emergency calls while in travel status and usually a way to make a collect call. They will advise you on the proper procedure to make sure you don't risk being denied the claim. The insurance companies should assist you with making the travel arrangements although it will likely require you to pay upfront and file a claim upon return. These are generalizations. Others may have other advice. I hope you are able to go and enjoy yourselves!

 

Soccer Mom

[Lois R]

My 90 year old MIL passed away on Sunday. My SIL (her daughter) left for a cruise on Saturday. My MIL has been declining in health for the past 2 yrs. We thought she was going to die 2 yrs ago. we also had many scares within the 2 years too!

Unfortunately, no one discussed what should be done prior to my SIL leaving for her cruise. After much deliberation and disagreements among the remaining 7 brothers & sisters, my SIL was informed. She decided to stay on her cruise. We are burying my MIL on Monday once she returns and Easter is over.

I would suggest that you discuss with your family members your intentions prior to going on the cruise if something should happen.

I say go. Enjoy yourselves.

 

Sending you my heartfelt condolences.

[jackdiamond]

I had a personal experience of this nature many years ago. My two brothers and sisters, and our respective spouses, all had invitations to black tie events for New Years Eve. New Year Eve evening we all received a call that our mother had suffered a heart attack; and, that she was in ICU. We all went to the Hospital and we spent all of that evening, and the following morning in the waiting room, all of us dressed in our final attire. Needless to say, we did not attend the various events for which we had planned.

Interestingly, her physician, who was a fine fellow, sometime in the morning frankly stated that she was fighting the situation and apparently refused to die. He further stated that she was so strong willed, that she would probably outlive him, although he was her junior by ten years.

He was correct, since she lived for twenty more years; and, he predeceased her.

[jackdiamond]

My 90 year old MIL passed away on Sunday. My SIL (her daughter) left for a cruise on Saturday. My MIL has been declining in health for the past 2 yrs. We thought she was going to die 2 yrs ago. we also had many scares within the 2 years too!

Unfortunately, no one discussed what should be done prior to my SIL leaving for her cruise. After much deliberation and disagreements among the remaining 7 brothers & sisters, my SIL was informed. She decided to stay on her cruise. We are burying my MIL on Monday once she returns and Easter is over.

I would suggest that you discuss with your family members your intentions prior to going on the cruise if something should happen.

I say go. Enjoy yourselves.

As I understand your post, your sister in law left for her cruise the day before her mother died. Is that so? Under those circumstances, there would appear to be no reason for her to abort the remainder of the cruise except for her personal feelings.

[Karen@Steve]

During our first cruise, many years ago my DS had an accident and we wanted to get home as fast as possible. No good. Our next port before returning was Key West which did not have an immigration or customs office so we could not disembark. One of us would have been able to leave but we would not have been able or officially disembark.

 

My point being that would probably be able to leave the ship in Grand Cayman, Jamaica but possibly not Labadee since you're not officially in the country or maybe you are. That would be your only real issue I think.

[Northern Aurora]

We have also wrestled with the dilemma posed by warmwinds. My father had advanced Parkinson's Disease, and during the five years prior to his death in 2010 had numerous hospitalizations. Several times we thought he was dying, only to have him pull through, but at level of diminished functioning. My mother and I met with a funeral home in 2007 as we and his physicians thought that death was imminent, and I carried a business card from that funeral home in my purse meeting until his actual death.

 

I struggled several times with the decision to actually leave on vacation, only to have my mother insist that we do so. My father's expressed wish was to be cremated, and we had also decided to hold a celebration of his life several months after his death. After meeting with the funeral director in 2007 my mom was even more insistent that we not alter vacation plans. Krillsister has made an excellent point -- we need to discuss with family how to handle the situation should it arise, just as we need to have discussions about end of life decisions and financial issues.

[warmwinds]

I'd like to thank so many of you for sharing your personal stories. It's a part of life that we all face.

 

We're lucky that a broken leg in of itself is not a life threatening situation. If she had just had a truly serious condition going on vacation at this point would of course not have been an option. And we could go when she was in perfect health and have had an emergency to deal with. You just deal with it.

 

If things continue to improve over the next week it will all be a go. And Lois, if we DO cancel, I'd ask if you'd like to switch over to our cabin, it's supposed to be one of the primo ones in AQ (1610) and I'd be happy to give you a heads up when I'll be canceling, not sure how soon they put it back into inventory, etc.

 

I also know our insurance would cover any eventuality - especially since a broken leg is not a pre-existing condition. Hopefully nothing will happen.

 

Thanks again.

[miched]

We were on our first cruise that was a repositioning across the Pacific. My mother was declining in health. I was basically her legal guardian as she was in a nursing home. Before we left for the 21 day cruise I made sure all bills were paid in advance and made arrangements with the funeral home. She died 4 days into the trip. It may sound cold but there was nothing we could do. We didn't know about it until we got back into the US. Life went on, we enjoyed the cruise. The funeral was after we got back. No harm done.

 

When we go on a cruise we cut off all contact with phones and internet. My wife's mother is up age and she tells us to enjoy our lives and don't worry about things that we can't control. If we keep posting a cruise or vacation because something might happen we would never be able to leave home.

 

 

 

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[love to sail - brian]

I too would say enjoy your cruise...several years ago my parents were on their 25th anniversary cruise when my paternal grandmother passed away. They did leave the cruise and returned home immediately. She had cancer and told them to go as she was an avid traveler. Two years ago, I was on a transatlantic cruise and debated if I should cancel as my 60 year old mom was quite ill with cancer, we went anyway. That was in May of 2011, sadly she passed away in November.

 

You never know and when/if the time comes you will know what is right for you, your husband and your family.

 

Have a great vacation and wishing your mother in law a speedy recovery.

 

 

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Nebr.cruiser]

We've had similar things happen to us so often that it's almost become a joke. (Not really, but sometimes there's nothing left to do but laugh.)

 

1. Our first cruise, many years ago. My 87 year old grandmother was in a rest home, and while not well, not expected to die any day. She passed away during our cruise, we got the call, continued the cruise and the funeral was the day after we got back.

 

2. Only two years later, my husband's grandfather was very ill with cancer; death was expected within the next few weeks. We had a cruise booked and everyone, including Grandpa, insisted we go. Yep, he died during the cruise. In this case they didn't call us and had the funeral; although this was the 'just in case plan', I still feel bad about it.

 

3. My husband's mother was deathly ill and in ICU for 4 weeks; we ended up cancelling a European River cruise and land tour a few days before we were to leave.

 

4. My mother had a massive heart attack one (1!) day before we were to leave for a trip to China, including a Yangtze River cruise. The doctor, Mom, Dad and all relatives wanted us to go, but I just couldn't, and cancelled.

 

We had another China trip scheduled a year later and had to cancel that one too, due to the SARS crisis. We haven't attempted China again!

 

Mother also had open-heart surgery on another occasion about a month before we had a cruise scheduled. We ended up going on the cruise, at her insistence, but I wish we hadn't as this was before the days of easy internet access and calling from each port was stressful.

 

We recently cruised to Hawaii just after my Mom (now 90) got out of the hospital. We went, and she got along fine, but there is always a level of guilt that goes with deciding to go. However, life can't be lived completely on a 'but what if.....happens?" basis. Sometimes the best decision is to go on with plans, sometimes it is obviously not.

 

You can bet we get very good insurance!

[Lois R]

I'd like to thank so many of you for sharing your personal stories. It's a part of life that we all face.

 

We're lucky that a broken leg in of itself is not a life threatening situation. If she had just had a truly serious condition going on vacation at this point would of course not have been an option. And we could go when she was in perfect health and have had an emergency to deal with. You just deal with it.

 

If things continue to improve over the next week it will all be a go. And Lois, if we DO cancel, I'd ask if you'd like to switch over to our cabin, it's supposed to be one of the primo ones in AQ (1610) and I'd be happy to give you a heads up when I'll be canceling, not sure how soon they put it back into inventory, etc.

 

I also know our insurance would cover any eventuality - especially since a broken leg is not a pre-existing condition. Hopefully nothing will happen.

 

Thanks again.

 

Hi, I hope you are able to go:) and I appreciate the thought.

Not sure how that works since we sail 1 week from Sunday......

(price wise I mean)....if it is more? I will stay where I am;)...

if it is an even swap? I would do it....thanks for thinking of me.

[Redtravel]

My mom has been near death for years. Just plan a vacation and she's in the hospital. Plan a cruise and she's deathly ill. This has been going on for years. We now plan and go. We do not tell her that we are cruising. Just the mention of the word "cruise" makes her crazy. One of these days, she will die. Not sure what I would do. If I were to cancel my vacations every time my mom has a "going to die" episode, I would never have a vacation.

[trixiegolf]

We're in the same situation as REDTRAVELER. Mom is 98 yrs old with no health issues whatsoever. But just to make things perfectly clear if anything should happen while my sister or I am on vacation, I insist on an email conversation beforehand as to what either one of us is to do if mom should pass away while gone. That way no one can say "I meant for you to call if death was eminent" or such.

We're leaving for Vegas next weekend and she would come unglued if she knew I was going.

[Literary Lynne]

We too know the feeling and can fully sympathise.

 

We were on a cruise from LA to Fort Lauderdale, via the Panama Canal and heard that my MIL was seriously ill and not expected to live. We had just left Aruba and so there were two day at sea before we were due to arrive in FL. Although Celebrity staff were very helpful in trying to get us an earlier flight home to the UK from FL, they couldn't let us off anywhere before that. It was agony. Happy to say that MIL improved.

 

Consequently, we have sworn never to travel more than one day's journey away from the UK whilst our parents are still alive, which means that we only cruise/holiday within Europe. It's a compromise but at least we feel okay about going on holiday.

Lynne :)

[Arizona Cruz Chic]

We all have faced this at one time or another.

 

You asked what kind of hassles would there be if you were on one of the islands. First I hope you have passports, that will make things easier and quicker in making arrangements. Secondly the cruise line will help you, but you must pay for everything up front and then get reimbursed by your travel insurance.

 

I hope your MIL makes a nice recovery and you enjoy your cruise.

 

***

[helen haywood]

You would need to check with your insurance company. I know they would reimburse you if your relative died, but if she simply took a turn for the worse, and you wanted to be with her, I'm not sure that would be covered.

[Rick-cruiser]

To answer your question about getting back on short notice if you were on an island or at sea...

 

We travel extensively and yes there are sometimes situations that arrive unexpectedly concerning the health / emergency situation of a loved one.

 

Yes, if you were at sea it would be relatively difficult and expensive to leave directly from the ship.. Your best bet would be to leave from the next port stop.. There will be port agents - in concert with the ship's agent - who will help you arrange the most feasible and easiest transportation back home.. Your insurance will cover virtually all the expenses.

 

You'd have to weigh the sense of urgency you feel is right - in your heart -about whether you want to be at that person's side.. The most recent time we left early from our cruise was last year when my fil was unexpectedly rushed to the hospital, about to have open heart surgery....we were in europe at the time on an 18 day cruise and it was day 5 into the cruise.. We left from Barcelona.. Made it back the next day and was at his bedside before he was wheeled in to the operating room.. Ultimately, everything turned out as best as we could have possibly expected....but god forbid he didn't make it we would have never forgiven ourselves.. It's a personal decision to make, and you just have to do what you feel is right in your hearts.. You don't want to do anything that will haunt you the rest of your lives.

 

If a mother or a father, or brother or sister or son or daughter... etc died while we were on vacation - there wouldn't be a place on this planet we'd be where we wouldn't fly back home immediately.

 

(As a side note, the next cruise we took - albeit a shorter one - a few weeks later to salvage our trip that was cut short..... wound up being the best cruise we have ever been on in 30 years.)

 

It's a personal decision to make.... just think about it beforehand so that you have a plan of action of what you will do.. It sounds like you are already doing that.

 

- Rick

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[mauimary]

I have been following all of your postings and thankyou for so much for sharing. We too are in a similar situation with my 93 year old mother. I am the only daughter that lives in town and I am very close to her. For the last several years every time we travel or cruise it does create anxiety in me. Matter of fact a blinking light in the room on the phone raises my anxiety!! Your posts have really expressed alot of the frustration and feelings that we are dealing with.

 

This last January we were over in the Hawaiian Islands (4days) when we got a call from our daughter that my mother had been taken by ambulance to the hospital after a fall. Nothing was broken fortunately but they did discover a heart condition that kept her there for 5 days. The hospital would not let her come back to her previous independant apartment at the Assisted Living facility she was at. We would need to move her to a higher level of care. Everything became just too complicated and difficult for our adult children who were dealing with the situation and it was just too hard to do much of anything by phone. We did make the decision to come back.

 

We had a Baltic Cruise planned for June. My DH and I went back and forth trying to decide what to do. We would be away nearly 3 weeks. I had to make a decision before we made final payment. The bottom line is that we just did not feel comfortable leaving and being in places that would be hard to get home from. We did not want to have to feel such anxiety every day when we checked our email. We have told our children not to call the cruise ship as there is nothing we can do at sea anyway. We would be checking in by email every day. In my heart I guess I feel that I would need to be there. I also have two brothers that live out of town.

 

You have made me stop and think that I need to get arrangements in place and have an open discussion with our children who will be the ones dealing with the immediate situation. We also know we need to be able to travel. We have a shorter replacement cruise lined up to Alaska in May. We also rebooked our Baltic one for 2014. I do not know what will be the situation by then but I will have more time to deal with it. Things are stable at the moment but as everyone knows and faces that could change at any time.

[islandgirlejfan]

To the OP, thank you for posting this topic and equally, thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences. I recently took over my parent's finances and will more than likely be absorbing more duties as my father's health is declining and my mother has never wanted to take care of the day to day goings on, which is why it fell on me.

 

When we go on this cruise next Sunday, it will be the first time that I have cruised since taking over the majority of their responsibilities and I have to admit that many of these things that are being talked about have been going through my mind. Add to that my mother doesn't like the thought of me traveling even when she was in the best of health and it just doesn't make for the best situation. I would feel better if they were in a senior apartment, but for now that's a verboten subject with my mother.

 

Reading the responses here really shed some light on this rough subject....I'm not alone with these concerns.

[Nebr.cruiser]

To the OP, thank you for posting this topic and equally, thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences. I recently took over my parent's finances and will more than likely be absorbing more duties as my father's health is declining and my mother has never wanted to take care of the day to day goings on, which is why it fell on me.

 

When we go on this cruise next Sunday, it will be the first time that I have cruised since taking over the majority of their responsibilities and I have to admit that many of these things that are being talked about have been going through my mind. Add to that my mother doesn't like the thought of me traveling even when she was in the best of health and it just doesn't make for the best situation. I would feel better if they were in a senior apartment, but for now that's a verboten subject with my mother.

 

Reading the responses here really shed some light on this rough subject....I'm not alone with these concerns.

 

 

My mom is kind of the opposite--she could literally be on her death bed, insisting we not miss our vacation. On our last cruise (she was out of the hospital/rest home 5 days), we didn't get any messages on Facebook, which we checked each evening, for two days.

 

I was convinced she was in the hospital or much worse and wouldn't let anyone call us and ruin our vacation. That would be just how selfless she is.

 

Luckily, all was well, just no one had anything to post.

[islandgirlejfan]

My mom is kind of the opposite--she could literally be on her death bed, insisting we not miss our vacation. On our last cruise (she was out of the hospital/rest home 5 days), we didn't get any messages on Facebook, which we checked each evening, for two days.

 

I was convinced she was in the hospital or much worse and wouldn't let anyone call us and ruin our vacation. That would be just how selfless she is.

 

Luckily, all was well, just no one had anything to post.

 

Oh I so wish....my hubby used to travel for his job. Not all places I could go to, but some I could. One such trip was New Zealand in 2007. Not a cheap trip by a long shot, but because he was going on business and had a ridiculous amount of miles, he was able to pull off getting me an award ticket very last minute with the help of a fabulous agent at the platinum desk of American. Add to that an Elton John friend who lives on the South Island wanted to show us around and take us to various wineries....well, there was never a question that I wasn't going to go. My parents were ok healthwise at this point....however, my mother kept questioning to the reasons of WHY I needed to go.

 

Now, I have been blessed to have lived in Europe (which made her crazy!), experiencing things you just don't get to do visiting. I have also been many places with my hubby, so of course I knew where this line of questioning was going with her. I'm not real sure why she goes there because she gets the same answer everytime, which is *I'm going because its THERE*....and of course, that's how I answered this.

 

I went, had a wonderful time and returned. One day, I came to visit and out of the blue she said, *I can't believe you did that*. Not knowing what she was referring to, I said *Did what?*. She proceeded to tell me that flying to New Zealand was *so dangerous*! I looked at her and said, *Planes fly everyday to destinations all over the world...when you hear of a crash, it's dramatic....look in the paper and tell me how many car fatalities you see* I followed it up with *you act like I strapped my luggage to my back and flapped my arms*. I really think there could be life regrets attached to this, but I really don't know. It is hard though because I can remember even as a child I wanted to travel....and the places I've been have been dreams come true....they were places in geography books I never thought I would see.

 

It's no surprise to me that the recent Carnival incidents have come up in my visits....we have never cruised on them, but of course it didn't stop her from making comments that cruising was dangerous. It's times like this, I hate the television news.:eek: More than anything, I guess I wish I could understand the reasons behind the questioning. At this point, I'm not so sure I will ever know.

[DrivesLikeMario]

We've had similar things happen to us so often that it's almost become a joke. (Not really, but sometimes there's nothing left to do but laugh.)

 

1. Our first cruise, many years ago. My 87 year old grandmother was in a rest home, and while not well, not expected to die any day. She passed away during our cruise, we got the call, continued the cruise and the funeral was the day after we got back.

 

2. Only two years later, my husband's grandfather was very ill with cancer; death was expected within the next few weeks. We had a cruise booked and everyone, including Grandpa, insisted we go. Yep, he died during the cruise. In this case they didn't call us and had the funeral; although this was the 'just in case plan', I still feel bad about it.

 

3. My husband's mother was deathly ill and in ICU for 4 weeks; we ended up cancelling a European River cruise and land tour a few days before we were to leave.

 

4. My mother had a massive heart attack one (1!) day before we were to leave for a trip to China, including a Yangtze River cruise. The doctor, Mom, Dad and all relatives wanted us to go, but I just couldn't, and cancelled.

 

We had another China trip scheduled a year later and had to cancel that one too, due to the SARS crisis. We haven't attempted China again!

 

Mother also had open-heart surgery on another occasion about a month before we had a cruise scheduled. We ended up going on the cruise, at her insistence, but I wish we hadn't as this was before the days of easy internet access and calling from each port was stressful.

 

We recently cruised to Hawaii just after my Mom (now 90) got out of the hospital. We went, and she got along fine, but there is always a level of guilt that goes with deciding to go. However, life can't be lived completely on a 'but what if.....happens?" basis. Sometimes the best decision is to go on with plans, sometimes it is obviously not.

 

You can bet we get very good insurance!

 

Remind me not to cruise with you guys. :cool: I would hate for your luck (or lack of it) to rub off on me! ;)