Navigating myself into trouble

[cincicruisers]

OK here's the problem..

 

I had to pull teeth to get DH to go on a cruise next year. He wanted to drive to the beach again or an all-inclusive resort. He finally agreed and I booked the Navigator FEB 2016.

 

So I was looking at cruises today and found a 9 day cruise on the Navigator visiting Labadee, Curaçao, Aruba, and Bonaire out of Miami sailing April 2017 (3 islands we have not been to). I found a balcony cabin. Total price for balcony, taxes, gratuities, and insurance for $2500. Such a great price for this trip.

 

Without having husband "on board" I put down a deposit. Here's the problem..should I fess up and tell him now, keep quiet until after the cruise in February, or wait until 3 months before cruise.

 

Not looking for his approval, just want him to enjoy the vacation.

[cb at sea]

I'd tell him while I could still recover the deposit..just in case he really doesn't want to go. I don't believe in "solo vacations" from the spouse, tho!

[jeansaussie1]

Keep quiet until after the February cruise.

 

If he hates cruising you can cancel and get all your money back.

If he loves cruising you can tell him about the bargain you got.

[Newby58]

Wait for Christmas, a birthday or an anniversary and tell him you bought him a present!

[reallyitsmema]

If I had booked another cruise, I would tell him now so that he can make sure he can get time off from work. If work is a non-issue, I would still probably tell him now because that is how things work in our relationship. You know your relationship's dynamic better then anyone here, go with your gut.

[CGinMTL]

tell him now and tell him you don't have to make a decision until final deposit.

[Clarea]

If he is having a good time on the February cruise, I'd tell him then.

[JimAOk1945]

If I had booked another cruise, I would tell him now so that he can make sure he can get time off from work. If work is a non-issue, I would still probably tell him now because that is how things work in our relationship. You know your relationship's dynamic better then anyone here, go with your gut.

I agree with this. It's how things work in our marriage as well. I hope the OP will come back and post her decision.

[AtlantaCruiser72]

If the OP's husband is a reluctant cruiser to start with and she tells him now about the 2017 cruise, it may raise his fur-up and he maybe inclined to back out of the 2016 as a result. She obviously knows him better than we do!

 

If it were me in a similar situation I would wait and see how he's doing while on the 2016 cruise - if he loves it (and for her sake I hope he does!) then she can say "Well how would you like to do the same ship in 2017 and we can go to X, Y and Z islands next time?" If he says yes then she can tell him about the great deal she got, if no, then she can discreetly cancel and move on ......

 

Of course that is all predicated by him not looking at the CC bill in the next month or so and wondering about the extra charge from RCCL :eek:

 

For my partner and myself, I find the cruise deals and tell him the timeframe, ship, itin, etc - if he has any objection to dates/pricing we look for alternates. I'm lucky though as he is as addicted to cruising as I am and let's me pretty much do all the research and legwork - he just pays his half and has a marvellous holiday :D:D:D

Edited July 4, 2015 by AtlantaCruiser72

[ronandannette]

Keep quiet until after the February cruise.

 

If he hates cruising you can cancel and get all your money back.

If he loves cruising you can tell him about the bargain you got.

 

This is exactly what I'd recommend; see what he thinks after the first trip and then go from there. You're still waaay out from having to pay the balance - your deposit will still be refundable until January, 2017.

 

If I had booked another cruise, I would tell him now so that he can make sure he can get time off from work. If work is a non-issue, I would still probably tell him now because that is how things work in our relationship. You know your relationship's dynamic better then anyone here, go with your gut.

 

We don't generally make major decisions independent of one another but this situation is pretty benign. I'd do it without any angst and would also be fine if DH did something similar. And as for your comment about vacation time, do companies even let people block off their vacation almost 2 years in advance? :confused:

[BonTexasNY]

If you had to pull teeth to get him to agree to one cruise, telling him now about the 2nd might not be a good idea. If you can, wait until he's on the 1st cruise having a wonderful time, THEN you can tell him and I bet you won't even have to pull one tooth ;)

[reallyitsmema]

 

We don't generally make major decisions independent of one another but this situation is pretty benign. I'd do it without any angst and would also be fine if DH did something similar. And as for your comment about vacation time, do companies even let people block off their vacation almost 2 years in advance? :confused:

 

It is not a matter of blocking off vacation 2 years in advance, it is making sure that the project deadline for the contract my husband is assigned to isn't facing a major deadline at that time. Because of the work he does, I don't get that much information day to day because it is classified. Any cruise we book, is fairly last minute, only a few months out. The exception being our cruise in September, we booked when the schedule was released and got approval one year out.

[Ashland]

OP you know your spouse and situation better than any of us...really don't need our advice...do whatever you know is the best way to handle it. ;)

[cincicruisers]

If he is having a good time on the February cruise, I'd tell him then.

 

I am leaning toward this approach. I wasn't clear before he has been on 4 cruises in the past with me. He just like variety for vacations. If I wait until we are on or just when we get home from the February cruise, I will mention it then. Of course if we do not have a great time it will be a non issue.

 

As far as work timing, the cruise isn't until April 2017 so plenty of time to make arrangements at work.

 

Thanks everyone for your insight

[BigB0882]

I would tell him now but I would make sure he understood that you can get back every penny so long as you cancel by X date. Explain the amazing deal and what islands the ship goes to. Then ask him for only one thing, to please hold his decision until after your cruise in February. If he truly doesn't want to go right after being on a cruise then it may not be his thing and perhaps the next vacation should be something he picks.

[Summerknight]

I would tell him on or shortly after the Feb. cruise. Don't forget to keep watching for price drops. Good luck!!

[GUT2407]

I know neither your DH nor your financial situation.

 

But I believe in honesty in marriage so I'd say tell him.

[cruisingsince94]

OK here's the problem..

 

I had to pull teeth to get DH to go on a cruise next year. He wanted to drive to the beach again or an all-inclusive resort. He finally agreed and I booked the Navigator FEB 2016.

 

So I was looking at cruises today and found a 9 day cruise on the Navigator visiting Labadee, Curaçao, Aruba, and Bonaire out of Miami sailing April 2017 (3 islands we have not been to). I found a balcony cabin. Total price for balcony, taxes, gratuities, and insurance for $2500. Such a great price for this trip.

 

Without having husband "on board" I put down a deposit. Here's the problem..should I fess up and tell him now, keep quiet until after the cruise in February, or wait until 3 months before cruise.

 

Not looking for his approval, just want him to enjoy the vacation.

 

April 14, 2017! We are booked on that cruise. Tell him after the February cruise. See if he enjoyed his return to the cruising life! :)

[LA_CA_GAL]

Here's the problem..should I fess up and tell him now, keep quiet until after the cruise in February, or wait until 3 months before cruise.

 

Not looking for his approval, just want him to enjoy the vacation.

 

I would tell him nothing.

 

And if he still has a problem, go on the cruise with someone else.

[kalliekae]

To LA CA Gal, you made me LOL. Thank you! I actually agree with you, too. I've been married almost 40 years so I have no problem cruising without dh since I'm retired and he isn't. His work schedule dictates when we can cruise together so I've been known to take my daughter and enjoy an occasional cruise.

 

To the OP, I would wait until we were on the first cruise to see if he is enjoying himself. If he is, I would tell him about the great deal on the next cruise and say that it can still be cancelled if he would rather not go. You don't have to tell him WHEN you actually booked it and I doubt he would ask. At least, my dh would never think to ask when I had booked it.

[S.A.M.J.R.]

It is not a matter of blocking off vacation 2 years in advance, it is making sure that the project deadline for the contract my husband is assigned to isn't facing a major deadline at that time. Because of the work he does, I don't get that much information day to day because it is classified. Any cruise we book, is fairly last minute, only a few months out. The exception being our cruise in September, we booked when the schedule was released and got approval one year out.

Well the OP's husband has at least 7 months notice (we don't know when she booked her Feb 16 cruise) with no problem. Presumably waiting until either during or after that cruise (with 14 months notice before the next one) will be fine. If it's not (because of something work related), they cancel the cruise and get their money back.

 

OP, I agree with those who say "wait and see" until February.

[Sam.Seattle]

My marriage is based on truth and honesty.. We make decessions togehter. That has worked for 32-years now. Both have only been married once - to each other. :-)

[BonTexasNY]

My marriage is based on truth and honesty.. We make decessions togehter. That has worked for 32-years now. Both have only been married once - to each other. :-)

 

My marriage is based on truth and honesty.. We make decisions together. That has worked for 45-years now. Both have only been married once - to each other. : -). I would still wait. :)

[Sam.Seattle]

My marriage is based on truth and honesty.. We make decisions together. That has worked for 45-years now. Both have only been married once - to each other. : -). I would still wait. :)

I being the left out husband would be very disapointed.. and might wonder what else I am not aware of. :-)

[OCruisers]

Wait for Christmas, a birthday or an anniversary and tell him you bought him a present!

 

Might not be a bad plan! :D

 

Actually, I would never have booked a cruise or any other type of vacation without discussing it with my DH first!

I certainly would not be a bit happy if he were to book a vacation without my knowing!

 

LuLu