Should I "strongly encourage" my 16 year old into kids club?

[Tigerlily75]

This is our second cruise. Last cruise there was four of us and she was fine without fellow teen friends, this time it will just be the two of us, and while she would be fine, I think she'd have a lot of fun if she made some friends, especially as it's a ten day cruise. She's very reluctant though, I think she's worried the other kids might not be nice and friendly!

 

I know if she's to do it, going on that first night is crucial. If anyone else has teens this age, and they were on their own, I'd love to hear if they enjoyed the teens club.

 

I have suggested at least going that first night, and seeing if she likes it.

Edited February 18, 2016 by Tigerlily75

[leaveitallbehind]

I would encourage it. How strong you push it would depend on your relationship with her and what her concerns are about the club. But she should go the first night to see who's there and what its like. Everyone there is in the same situation looking for things to do and someone to do them with. She can always decide not to go back if she doesn't think she would enjoy it. But it may be hard to join in later as groups will form and friendships will start early on the first night.

Edited February 18, 2016 by leaveitallbehind

[cb at sea]

I agree with the 1st night thing. When everyone is "new", it's less stressful to those who are shy..and it sounds like your daughter may be shy! But...if she doesn't, don't push her....she'll find something to do!

[klfrodo]

This is our second cruise. Last cruise there was four of us and she was fine without fellow teen friends, this time it will just be the two of us, and while she would be fine, I think she'd have a lot of fun if she made some friends, especially as it's a ten day cruise. She's very reluctant though, I think she's worried the other kids might not be nice and friendly!

 

I know if she's to do it, going on that first night is crucial. If anyone else has teens this age, and they were on their own, I'd love to hear if they enjoyed the teens club.

 

I have suggested at least going that first night, and seeing if she likes it.

 

Only question I have is,,

How would you have reacted had your mother "strongly encouraged" you to do something you didn't want to do when you were 16?

 

Just put yourself in her shoes for a moment. Afterall, she is a younger version of you. We were all raised differently and our reactions are different.

[Tigerlily75]

Only question I have is,,

How would you have reacted had your mother "strongly encouraged" you to do something you didn't want to do when you were 16?

 

Just put yourself in her shoes for a moment. Afterall, she is a younger version of you. We were all raised differently and our reactions are different.

 

I would have hated it! I'm probably giving the wrong impression with my wording.. maybe I mean gently encourage! I'm really not a tyrant, I promise ;). We are very close and often travel just the two of us, and I really don't make her do stuff she doesn't want to do (except unload the dishwasher..!) I think I'm just worried she'll get bored with just me in a closed environment such as a cruise. And that she'll miss out on a lot of fun due to unfounded fears. She's not normally shy, but for some reason she's worried there'll be not so nice kids there. Or that they'll be big groups of family friends or cousins etc that are already tight. But yes, she's 16 and can decide for herself, she's half open to the idea of going the first night and at least seeing what it's like.

 

Either way she'll have a great time I'm sure, we both loved the last cruise and she's so excited to go again.

[klfrodo]

You don't sound like a tyrant at all.

 

At least she's open to the first night idea.

 

Could very well be that your daughter doesn't want to go out on her own because she wants to make sure YOU are having a good time. You both are concerned about the same thing. Just coming from different directions.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

I would have hated it! I'm probably giving the wrong impression with my wording.. maybe I mean gently encourage! I'm really not a tyrant, I promise ;). We are very close and often travel just the two of us, and I really don't make her do stuff she doesn't want to do (except unload the dishwasher..!) I think I'm just worried she'll get bored with just me in a closed environment such as a cruise. And that she'll miss out on a lot of fun due to unfounded fears. She's not normally shy, but for some reason she's worried there'll be not so nice kids there. Or that they'll be big groups of family friends or cousins etc that are already tight. But yes, she's 16 and can decide for herself, she's half open to the idea of going the first night and at least seeing what it's like.

 

Either way she'll have a great time I'm sure, we both loved the last cruise and she's so excited to go again.

 

I've been in exactly the same position as my DD is often my travel companion. We're very close and she enjoys spending the time with me (how about that?!) and I've never been successful in getting her to go to even the first night after she was about 14. That said, if I were you I would encourage her. You might tell her that most of the kids who are in groups of family or friends may not even bother to come to the kids club at all. But, there will be other teens who don't know anyone on the ship and they'll be just as nervous about going to that first meeting as she is! They'll also be looking for someone who's nice. :) It's taking that first step that's hard.

 

Have a great time!

[kitty9]

Going the first night is the best idea. Teens generally don't hang in the club during the cruise because most find the activities "lame", but on the first night they meet up and then just go around together as a group. Just make sure your basic rules are in place such as not going into another cabin or letting others into your cabin and she'll be just fine.

[Krazy Kruizers]

I would encourage her to go the first night and see what it is like.

Agree with kitty9 about setting rules

[Keith1010]

I would talk to her about it but at that age some would prefer to pass on it and meet others their age outside of the club.

 

Keith

[MarKay525]

Hi - you might want to post your question on the Family Cruises Forum also to get additional insights.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=49

Edited February 18, 2016 by MarKay525

[Jasalth]

My oldest was 17 on his last cruise. We... also strongly encouraged him to go the first night at least. While not very happy to, he did go. Alas he didn't find anyone he clicked with and did his own thing the whole time. Also being a boy might be different, but he also tends to prefer to be alone than in a group of others if all possible. He actually has made the decision that after 5 cruises he had no choice but to go on, since he will be 18 in May, he does not want to join us when we go in June. He would rather spend the time home alone with the cats. He will alas be an adult so I feel it really is his choice!

 

Compare that to our 13 yr old last cruise in August, he went the first night to the teen club, and after that, we saw him in 2 ports (left him on the ship in the other) and he joined us for dinner twice. On a note about that, the ONLY activities he actually did was the scavenger hunts, other than that they just roamed the ship.

 

If your DD is shy/awkward around new people, she might end up like my oldest. If she is outgoing and/or just generally doesn't care what others think like my youngest, she might find a group to hang out with.

 

Either way, it sounds like she will be happy on your cruise. Depending on your parenting style, talk to her about it, but if she doesn't want to, you two can always make it into a fun girls cruise and just do all the girly stuff!

[Quilting_Cruiser]

My oldest was 17 on his last cruise. We... also strongly encouraged him to go the first night at least. While not very happy to, he did go. Alas he didn't find anyone he clicked with and did his own thing the whole time. Also being a boy might be different, but he also tends to prefer to be alone than in a group of others if all possible. He actually has made the decision that after 5 cruises he had no choice but to go on, since he will be 18 in May, he does not want to join us when we go in June. He would rather spend the time home alone with the cats. He will alas be an adult so I feel it really is his choice!

 

Compare that to our 13 yr old last cruise in August, he went the first night to the teen club, and after that, we saw him in 2 ports (left him on the ship in the other) and he joined us for dinner twice. On a note about that, the ONLY activities he actually did was the scavenger hunts, other than that they just roamed the ship.

 

If your DD is shy/awkward around new people, she might end up like my oldest. If she is outgoing and/or just generally doesn't care what others think like my youngest, she might find a group to hang out with.

 

Either way, it sounds like she will be happy on your cruise. Depending on your parenting style, talk to her about it, but if she doesn't want to, you two can always make it into a fun girls cruise and just do all the girly stuff!

 

After having gone on about a dozen cruises, my daughter has told me that they're fun, but not really her thing. I don't know what's wrong with that kid. LOL. My last cruise was solo because I asked if she wanted to go (she was 19) on another Alaska cruise and after much thought she told me that and that she didn't want me to think she was ungrateful. So, I went by myself, but it was an Adriatic cruise with a few pre-cruise days in Venice. When i told her where I was going to cruise she said, "Well, I would have gone THERE!" I'm sure she would have. LOL.

[GUT2407]

You know him I don't.

 

If it was my lad a 16.

 

I'd encourage not push.

 

But then he'd have been more comfortable with adults anyway.

[OCruisers]

Try to encourage your teen to go at least for the first night just to see what it's all about. After that ... no pressure to return if it's not a good experience.

[mom2mybugs]

My oldest was 17 on his last cruise. We... also strongly encouraged him to go the first night at least. While not very happy to, he did go. Alas he didn't find anyone he clicked with and did his own thing the whole time. Also being a boy might be different, but he also tends to prefer to be alone than in a group of others if all possible. He actually has made the decision that after 5 cruises he had no choice but to go on, since he will be 18 in May, he does not want to join us when we go in June. He would rather spend the time home alone with the cats. He will alas be an adult so I feel it really is his choice!

 

Compare that to our 13 yr old last cruise in August, he went the first night to the teen club, and after that, we saw him in 2 ports (left him on the ship in the other) and he joined us for dinner twice. On a note about that, the ONLY activities he actually did was the scavenger hunts, other than that they just roamed the ship.

 

If your DD is shy/awkward around new people, she might end up like my oldest. If she is outgoing and/or just generally doesn't care what others think like my youngest, she might find a group to hang out with.

 

Either way, it sounds like she will be happy on your cruise. Depending on your parenting style, talk to her about it, but if she doesn't want to, you two can always make it into a fun girls cruise and just do all the girly stuff!

 

This was totally us! My 16 year old son stayed by himself, watched the ncaa tournament and hated the teen center. He also tends to be a loner and is skipping our cruise this march. My 12 year old had the best time, found a group of 3 girls and neber looked back!

the last cruise my 18 year old hung with me all the time, but it was also a 4 port cruise. This time is just 2 ports and coco cay and I'm trying to encourage her to go to the 18-20 meet and mingles. Id love for her to find someone to hsng with, because I'm pretty boring on at sea days! She's an adult though, so I will only encourage!

Hope the op and your daughter have a great trip no matter what! Jane

[shealea]

My grandson was 16 when we took him on his first cruise.

 

He went to the first night meet-up at the Teen Center. From then on, he mainly just met up in the evenings with kids that he had met from the Teen Center. They went to the evening shows together, met at the hot tub, ate out together, etc.

 

He would run into kids he knew throughout the day, and would take off to hang out with them doing different things. It worked out really well.

[ozscot01]

I would also encourage her to go on that first night. If she makes a few friends or even just chats to some people she will

Probably meet them again and spend time with them later in the cruise.

Our ms16 went on the first night, joined a group for a scavenger hunt and that was it for the cruise. They never went back to the club but spent a lot of time amusing themselves.

We saw her on port days at our insistence and for occasional meals.

I would suggest if she is reluctant that you go along as far as you can with her, and find a spot close by to chill with a drink so she can find you quickly if she feels she needs to make a getaway. It may be the lack of escape route that worries her.

[sun~]

My lads went from the kids club to the teen club, so they sort of had an idea what was going on.

 

However, the loved the teen clubs the best. They showed up the first day and met other kids their age (3 years difference in their ages) and found others to hang out with all week.

 

The hung out in the hot tubs, in the club, around the ship, basketball, ping pong, went to shows and dinners together. Not really a clique, but sort of kids coming and going. Every ship they have been on they found others to hang out with. It was comical to see a gang of teens eating and walking around the ship, kind of like a school of fish.

 

I also noticed it was mixed, boys and girls.

 

There may be kids in the group, who like my eldest son, can draw out the shy ones.

 

She should give it a go, she has nothing to lose! She may make some new friends :D

[imdamama]

My kids were super reluctant to do the kid/teen thing, but when they finally did, they were hooked. They still keep in touch with kids we met while cruising. (So do I, but were both 50 now!)

 

Hooks you can try:

 

If she takes a foreign language, it may be a great way to have a cultural exchange.

 

Great way to find a dining or activity companion.

 

And she can try it so she can be welcoming to other kids who may feel awkward.

 

Enjoy!

[donaldsc]

This is our second cruise. Last cruise there was four of us and she was fine without fellow teen friends, this time it will just be the two of us, and while she would be fine, I think she'd have a lot of fun if she made some friends, especially as it's a ten day cruise. She's very reluctant though, I think she's worried the other kids might not be nice and friendly!

 

I know if she's to do it, going on that first night is crucial. If anyone else has teens this age, and they were on their own, I'd love to hear if they enjoyed the teens club.

 

I have suggested at least going that first night, and seeing if she likes it.

 

My answer is to let her do what she want to do. We took our 10 year old granddaughter on an AK cruise and picked Princess because of its kids club. She took one look at the club activities and pronounced them stupid and childish. She was there to see AK and not to play games inside with other kids.

 

Now that is one brainy kid.

 

DON

[Tinkrbell91]

Our son has been on two cruises, one at 14 and one at 15. He has social anxiety, so he did need a push (literally! Ha!) to go on the first night. And he is so glad he did! He is really shy, but a lot of fun once you get him out of his shell. There were organized events such as scavenger hunts, karaoke, guitar hero competitions, dance parties, etc. The kids also spent a lot of time hanging around the ship eating, talking, etc. He still keeps in touch with several kids from each cruise. We are headed on his third cruise in May, and he is excited. One thing we emphasized was a curfew. With cell phones not working, we had no way to communicate. He had a set time to be back at the room, which he did a pretty good job of doing. We also had to limit the arcade, as that was a favorite hang out and could get expensive! You know your teen best, but our experience is that the teen group was a great thing for our son, especially on sea days when we "old" folks are considered boring! Best of luck! 😊

[Clarea]

This is our second cruise. Last cruise there was four of us and she was fine without fellow teen friends, this time it will just be the two of us, and while she would be fine, I think she'd have a lot of fun if she made some friends, especially as it's a ten day cruise. She's very reluctant though, I think she's worried the other kids might not be nice and friendly!

 

I know if she's to do it, going on that first night is crucial. If anyone else has teens this age, and they were on their own, I'd love to hear if they enjoyed the teens club.

 

I have suggested at least going that first night, and seeing if she likes it.

I agree with you that going on the first night is most important. I'd strongly encourage her to go the at least the first night.

[Mango Mike]

My answer is to let her do what she want to do. We took our 10 year old granddaughter on an AK cruise and picked Princess because of its kids club. She took one look at the club activities and pronounced them stupid and childish. She was there to see AK and not to play games inside with other kids.

 

Now that is one brainy kid.

 

DON

 

Best answer yet.

 

Remember, it's her vacation also. I would in no way "encourage" her. The most I would do is suggest it and let her decide on her own.

 

Our daughter has been on a few as well and has always much preferred spending time and making memories with mom and dad than hanging out with others she'll probably never meet again.

[LA_CA_GAL]

This is our second cruise. Last cruise there was four of us and she was fine without fellow teen friends, this time it will just be the two of us, and while she would be fine, I think she'd have a lot of fun if she made some friends, especially as it's a ten day cruise. She's very reluctant though, I think she's worried the other kids might not be nice and friendly!

 

I know if she's to do it, going on that first night is crucial. If anyone else has teens this age, and they were on their own, I'd love to hear if they enjoyed the teens club.

 

I have suggested at least going that first night, and seeing if she likes it.

 

My experience is that 16 YO children can not be encouraged to do anything, especially if it is a parent doing the encouraging.