Why the negativity?

[Cruzin-K]

I've noticed over the years that certain posters on Cruise Critic seem to make it their sole purpose in life to put other people down, and criticize them. No matter how innocent the question, they find it necessary to be rude and condescending. If someone asks a simple question about flying in the day of the cruise, the Negative Nancys (NN's) will insult them and say that it's a stupid idea and they hope the OP misses their cruise (how rude). If someone asks if a certain outfit is appropriate for formal night, the NN's will say that they wear shorts to dinner and anyone who dresses up is an idiot. If someone is new to the boards and asks about things most of us already know, the NN's will say to use the search feature and stop bothering us. I don't know but I kind of feel bad for the people in the "real" lives of these folks who are always so negative about EVERYTHING. It's difficult to be around people like that, I think. I'm not talking about people who respectfully disagree with a post, I'm talking about the insulting, rude, nasty posts that certain people write on here. Easy to do when you're hiding behind a computer screen I suppose. :rolleyes:

 

After being on CC for nine years, I finally had enough tonight and put someone on ignore, and will do that again in the future if I notice a pattern of negativity from other posters. Yes, it made me feel better knowing that my little corner of CC will be less antagonistic.

 

People come here looking for advice, and more often than not, at least one or two people on each thread manage to be rude.

 

If you can't say something nice, or at least helpful, why bother posting? Just to hear yourself speak and get your post count up? :confused:

Edited September 30, 2013 by Cruzin-K

[corpkid]

Most posting boards are becoming or have been that way for some time. It's unfortunate, but there is something about the anonymity of the internet that draws this behavior out. I did a research study of it in my grad degree. I won't bore you with the details, but it's widespread and one couldn't reasonably expect CC to be exempt. It's actually far less prevalent here than most mainstream boards (demographics).

 

I think what you are noticing is that CC is getting more popular, thus this is becoming more pronounced. Sad as it may be. Your best bet is to just disregard these negative posts. The last thing you want to do is get into a "flame war." Take comfort in the many kind, genuine and helpful folks here and disregard the rest.

[NoobCruise]

I learned to ignore the threads on dress codes and smoking. Those topics are guaranteed to degenerate into nastiness. Once I stopped opening those, and getting sucked into the bickering, I found CC to be a much friendlier place.

[Scrapnana]

 

I think what you are noticing is that CC is getting more popular, thus this is becoming more pronounced. Sad as it may be. Your best bet is to just disregard these negative posts. The last thing you want to do is get into a "flame war." Take comfort in the many kind, genuine and helpful folks here and disregard the rest.

 

Good advice, corpkid!

[Cruzin-K]

I learned to ignore the threads on dress codes and smoking. Those topics are guaranteed to degenerate into nastiness. Once I stopped opening those, and getting sucked into the bickering, I found CC to be a much friendlier place.

 

Don't forget about chair hogs :D

 

Yes, I tend to stay away from certain topics as well. I know that certain subjects attract the flame throwers. But I don't see why other topics, like what to do if a waiter is rude, turn into a thread bashing someone whose only "crime" was wanting a pleasant dinner. Or if someone wants to know what to do if they lose something on the ship, it's their own stupid fault for losing the item in the first place. Sigh!

[Cruzin-K]

Most posting boards are becoming or have been that way for some time. It's unfortunate, but there is something about the anonymity of the internet that draws this behavior out. I did a research study of it in my grad degree. I won't bore you with the details, but it's widespread and one couldn't reasonably expect CC to be exempt. It's actually far less prevalent here than most mainstream boards (demographics).

 

I think what you are noticing is that CC is getting more popular, thus this is becoming more pronounced. Sad as it may be. Your best bet is to just disregard these negative posts. The last thing you want to do is get into a "flame war." Take comfort in the many kind, genuine and helpful folks here and disregard the rest.

 

I bet that was an interesting study.

 

After being here for nine years, I know there are certain posters known to be helpful, and others known to be snarky. I am going to make it a point from now on, to only post helpful posts, and do my best to be nice, or just keep quiet if I can't be nice/helpful. I have responded to the rude ones in the past, and it doesn't really help to feed the trolls.

[Keith1010]

There is a wealth of great information that one can obtain on these boards.

 

Yes, there are some posts and topics that lead to posts that are either negative or are way over the top.

 

Best to just realize that will happen and do ones best to ignore them.

 

Keith

[xnavydoc2]

I bet that was an interesting study.

 

After being here for nine years, I know there are certain posters known to be helpful, and others known to be snarky. I am going to make it a point from now on, to only post helpful posts, and do my best to be nice, or just keep quiet if I can't be nice/helpful. I have responded to the rude ones in the past, and it doesn't really help to feed the trolls.

 

People like that are just plain miserable and not worth the energy it would take to get upset. They have nothing better to do in their lives than write something snarky and then look for reaction. This is the only way they can get attention. People are their own advertisement! Their "I'm right and you're wrong attitude shows their lack of self worth.

[Ashland]

Cruzin-K..I couldn't agree more.

[corpkid]

People like that are just plain miserable and not worth the energy it would take to get upset. They have nothing better to do in their lives than write something snarky and then look for reaction. This is the only way they can get attention. People are their own advertisement! Their "I'm right and you're wrong attitude shows their lack of self worth.

 

We did an analysis of "satisfaction", "self esteem", "pride" and "perceived anonymity" in our study. ANOVA analysis says it all and we had a large 2500+ user data set in the undergrad community at my university. We basically opened a discussion board at the university and offered extra credit to participate, across discipline, with a mandatory follow up. The topic: "Should Red Light Cameras be Allowed for Automatic Ticketing?" We then then made them take a series of self personality tests (academically proven scales). We also complied and compared this to several huge forums like CNN comments, USA Today comments, etc. It's consistent, and it just IS. The forum these days, minus popular interest doesn't seem to matter. What can change is how you deal with it.

[Laughing Angel]

corpkid, that sound like a very interesting study. I would love to take a look at that. You are correct about the sense of anonymity--I worked for a media outlet and the things some people posted on our facebook page would curl your hair. Insults, profanity, threats...and these are comments made under real profile names (some with pictures of their children!). It's the kind of thing that makes you shake your head.

 

Cruzin-K, I like to think that most people just want to be helpful, but I've come to realize that there are a few who like to "stir things up". I will definitely follow your lead and do my best to ignore the negativity and be helpful/nice in response to the posts I read.

[corpkid]

corpkid, that sound like a very interesting study. I would love to take a look at that. You are correct about the sense of anonymity--I worked for a media outlet and the things some people posted on our facebook page would curl your hair. Insults, profanity, threats...and these are comments made under real profile names (some with pictures of their children!). It's the kind of thing that makes you shake your head.

 

Cruzin-K, I like to think that most people just want to be helpful, but I've come to realize that there are a few who like to "stir things up". I will definitely follow your lead and do my best to ignore the negativity and be helpful/nice in response to the posts I read.

 

We had a really weird moment where one guy threatened to "kill" my professor because he failed the test, and POSTED THAT TO THAT VERY RESEARCH MESSAGE BOARD! Ironically, that exam scored higher for a 800-ish user base than usual by about 3 points. Ugh. Some people just need a hug. He was suspended. Hope he got that hug. :) These people got into fights over the stupidest stuff.... We then said "hey - let's throw GPA into the mix" - guess what - it almost zeroed out on the ANOVA. I was shocked but quantified. Nice people are nice. Period. LOL

Edited September 30, 2013 by corpkid

[hillymama]

Love this thread. Why people do the things they do is so interesting. I believe that NN probably have life problems because they focus energy on others to avoid dealing with their own issues. Project much?

[Krazy Kruizers]

I have also gotten tired of the "NN" people and also those that always seem to think they know everything as well as people who use sarcasm a lot.

The "ignore" button is w wonderful thing.

[sparks1093]

What can change is how you deal with it.

 

That statement by itself can be applied just about anywhere in one's life.:)

[marco]

And it's not just the negativity...it's the way some threads morph into something completely unrelated to the OP. Like OP: "Tell me about private excursions in St Petersburg?" and 10 responses down I'm reading a post on that thread about a wonderful meal someone had in St. Thomas!! If you want to change topics...start a new thread!

[Ship's Wake]

 

After being on CC for nine years, I finally had enough tonight and put someone on ignore, and will do that again in the future if I notice a pattern of negativity from other posters. Yes, it made me feel better knowing that my little corner of CC will be less antagonistic.

 

I've done this as well. Makes spending time on CC more pleasant when you filter out those who out themselves as trolls, flame baiters, or constant downers.

 

I want this site to be an enjoyable diversion when I'm here reading and discussing what is for me a fun topic.

[slidergirl]

Sociologist by degree here. I love to observe social dynamics in everyday life. Your grad study sounds very interesting. Mine was on how perceptions color when people help others. My degree finally came in handy, now that I'm working in hospitality ;)

 

I'll read just about anything on forums, but for varying reasons. I absolutely read to get information or to share information. But, some I read for pure pleasure and kicks and, yes, to observe how people behave... Dress codes, chair hogs, food - I get sucked into them all the time.

 

Forums are both information and entertaining; keep that in mind!!!

[Langley Cruisers]

After being on CC for nine years, I finally had enough tonight and put someone on ignore, and will do that again in the future ...

 

Want to know something? I have over 100 members on my ignore list, mainly due to either signatures, avatars, or negativity. I know it may seem extreme, but it helps me manage my time better here. :)

[boogs]

Want to know something? I have over 100 members on my ignore list, mainly due to either signatures, avatars, or negativity. I know it may seem extreme, but it helps me manage my time better here. :)

 

Fortunately we can turn off signatures and/or avatars for all posts by changing the options on our User Control Panel to stop them. For extreme cases, the Ignore list is a great tool to avoid certain people altogether.

Thank you CC management for these tools.

Edited September 30, 2013 by boogs

[OCruisers]

Sure there are NN folks ... BUT ... there are also so many very nice and helpful posters here on CC as well. :)

 

LuLu

~~~~

[Sherri914]

I was just asking the folks on my Roll Call this same question recently. "Why are there so many mean-spirited responses, especially to people simply looking for some help" It's baffling to me. Between the snarky responses, rude comments, and self-proclaimed thread police, it's made me very afraid to post any question without an exhaustive search, both here and on other forums, and without keeping my fingers crossed that the flame throwers will stay at bay in hopes of getting a response instead of a sound lashing! Sometimes I see the subect of a new thread and immediately shake my head knowing this poor soul is getting ready to get blasted.

 

Thankfully, though, there are still so many kind and helpful people on these boards. I'm certainly grateful and I do try to pass it along whenever I can with a tip here or there or a kind word or two. :)

[CaroleSS]

If you did a tally of the 'nice' responses and the 'not so nice' responses, I'd bet the nice ones would greatly surpass the not so nice ones. BUT we remember the not so nice ones more than the nice ones. Human nature I suppose.

 

BUT just like a bully in the playground, they feed off the attention. If you ignore them, you take all the fun out of it, so they leave you alone.

 

Don't feed the trolls! :eek:

[Langley Cruisers]

Fortunately we can turn off signatures and/or avatars for all posts by changing the options on our User Control Panel to stop them. For extreme cases, the Ignore list is a great tool to avoid certain people altogether.... Thank you CC management for these tools.

 

Agreed, thank you, CC. I do not turn off all signatures because I like to see what ships people are cruising next so it better helps me answer their questions. I put specific users on "Ignore" if their sigs are too long or too obnoxious (sorry, some of them are!...) and I turn off the avatars because some of them bug me. LOL! Oh well. Yes, I am grateful for these options as well.

 

To tie this all into the OP's post, this helps me deal with some of the negativity on here. :)

[JustCruiseMe]

I totally agree! I, however, notice when someone is most always kind. I don't know her but the person who posts as TAPI always has nice informative posts, from what I've seen.