Cruising Snobbery

[sail7seas]

One person topped all the intrusive questions. On my first cruise, I was asked how much I paid for the cruise. I had gotten the cruise by submitting a very low bid on an auction site and accidentally winning it. I was panicked - I didn't really want to go on a cruise, but I had paid for it. When I told the questioner that I had paid $200 pp for a 7 day cruise - he didn't believe me. I went on and on about it and also added that my traveling companion had paid for airfare from Seattle to San Juan and I had paid from Santa Fe to San Juan - both airfares were far more than the cruise fare. I think he finally believed that I got a bargain on a fluke.

 

My current cruising companion (recently and forever more) and I prefer tables for two - we want to talk to each other. We talk to the crew far more than we talk to other passengers. And we don't do group tours - we explore ports on our own.

 

 

My whole family has pre-deceased me and I've had people I am meeting, ask what each died from. :( :eek:

[caladezi]

We had this happen to us once on our first cruise that we had a suite. The ship didn’t have a pinnacle grill, so we ate breakfast in a private area near the mdr. We were seated with an older couple. He could not stop asking us questions about where we lived, what we did for a living, etc. We finally asked him about where he lived, and of course, the answer was - in summer at my summer house, in winter at my winter house , blah, blah, blah. He actually told us the reason he was asking all of these questions was to determine if we were suitable to attend the cocktail party he was giving. His poor wife said nothing the entire time, but looked positively mortified. We couldn’t wait to leave. I guess that’s why we usually have breakfast in our cabin now! We just couldn’t believe the rudeness of this guy!

 

So, how was the party?

[Aquahound]

Versus the original design of cruising, where everyone mingled and ate in all venues, today's cruise design is focused on separating people geographically and by experience.

 

I think you might be mistaken on the original design of cruising when it came to class segregation.

 

I think the best quote I came across is from Management consultant and social commentator Peter York who says “If you’re sitting next to somebody at a dinner that you haven’t met before and you’re talking to them for over an hour how could you not ask them ‘What do you do?’”

 

Agreed. It still blows my mind that so many people think that's rude conversation. Discussing what we do, like most subjects, is all about context. If people are genuinely getting to know one another, career field is a huge part of that. I can see it snobbish if one person is a braggart and is condescending in their inquiry but in a mutual, mature adult conversation, I just cannot see how people would be offended at such an inquiry.

[navybankerteacher]

I think you might be mistaken on the original design of cruising when it came to class segregation.

 

 

 

Agreed. It still blows my mind that so many people think that's rude conversation. Discussing what we do, like most subjects, is all about context. If people are genuinely getting to know one another, career field is a huge part of that. I can see it snobbish if one person is a braggart and is condescending in their inquiry but in a mutual, mature adult conversation, I just cannot see how people would be offended at such an inquiry.

 

Well said. There are very few topics which cannot be discussed openly and courteously with no exercise of snobbery.

 

On the other hand, a snob can pervert the discussion of any topic : the weather, footwear best suited for shore excursions, preferred type of pizza - you name it.

 

It is not the topic - it is the way it is discussed - that is the problem.

[Sunni Ten]

, preferred type of pizza - you name it.

It is not the topic - it is the way it is discussed - that is the problem.

 

True! I'm definitely a pizza snob. You can't beat New York pizza. ;p

[iancal]

There is a huge difference between asking someone what they do and then asking them questions to drill down past their vocation to their position in the company. I have experienced this a number of times and now am purposely circumspect.

 

We have met others in our travels who feel the same way. We find this to be most prevalent on cruise ships. One exception to this has been the many Aussies that we have met. They don't seem as anxious to identify and classify the socioeconomic status of fellow travelers as some other nationalities.

[imouer]

I understand it being rude to go on and on about one's own successes but at what point in time did it become snobbish or inappropriate to ask people what they do? That's typical ice breaker conversation when getting to know new people. What's next....it's snobbish to ask someone their name?

 

 

 

Perfect example of a Cruise Critic problem.

 

 

 

I agree what people here are seemingly offended by seems like normal conversation to me I mean you’re sitting next to strangers what are you supposed to talk about the first question out of our mouth is normally where are you from. But if somebody asked me what my room is I’ll be happy to explain to him why I think it’s a smarter move to get an inside room I don’t care. On my last cruise a guy walked up to me and told me he was a midwestern lawyer in a partner in the firm immediately and asked me what I did and then told me well you probably make more money than me. I thought this was typical stupid lawyer conversation crap and ignored it. He then turned to my wife in upon learning that we were from Virginia proceeded to ask us about blue stake politics. At this point we looked at each other and decided to leave the alchemy bar. In fact this cruise out of New Orleans had no other East Coast people that I could see them clearly people were profiling us as coastal elite‘s because every time we told people where we were from they basically shut down. I guess they assumed that we look down on these folks in the flyover states or some stupid crap but we definitely felt like people were not friendly on the ship and this is what I would call reverse snobbery

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[Cruzaholic41]

Agreed. It still blows my mind that so many people think that's rude conversation. Discussing what we do, like most subjects, is all about context. If people are genuinely getting to know one another, career field is a huge part of that. I can see it snobbish if one person is a braggart and is condescending in their inquiry but in a mutual, mature adult conversation, I just cannot see how people would be offended at such an inquiry.

 

Well said. There are very few topics which cannot be discussed openly and courteously with no exercise of snobbery.

 

On the other hand, a snob can pervert the discussion of any topic : the weather, footwear best suited for shore excursions, preferred type of pizza - you name it.

 

It is not the topic - it is the way it is discussed - that is the problem.

 

Spot on posts. I agree completely.

[cbr663]

...

Agreed. It still blows my mind that so many people think that's rude conversation. Discussing what we do, like most subjects, is all about context. If people are genuinely getting to know one another, career field is a huge part of that. I can see it snobbish if one person is a braggart and is condescending in their inquiry but in a mutual, mature adult conversation, I just cannot see how people would be offended at such an inquiry.

 

Context makes a difference, and so does location. For most people, a cruise is about a vacation and very little to nothing about work. People should be provided the opportunity to step outside of their work life and enjoy their cruise. When asking what they do, you are not affording them the opportunity to do so.

 

 

The other challenge when asking someone you've just met what it is that they do is that whether you are aware of it or not, we do form judgments, good or bad, based on the response. It is unfortunate but for many, jobs become labels that are attached to the person, and even though we all agree that we are not what we do, the reality is that we sometimes don't act that way.

 

 

People who are able to disconnect their professional lives from the personal lives usually find the question offensive. They would rather you got to know them on a personal level and not on a professional level. In other words, take the time to discover who I am as a person and not the tasks that I do to earn a living.

[navybankerteacher]

True! I'm definitely a pizza snob. You can't beat New York pizza. ;p

 

Just asking (no judgment implied) - but, have you ever tried traditional New Haven pizza?

[Sunni Ten]

Just asking (no judgment implied) - but, have you ever tried traditional New Haven pizza?

 

I have not! BUT I've heard that CT pizza (specifically New Haven) ranks up there with NY pizza. (As does NJ pizza, for that matter.) Yum... Would love some right now...

 

Are there any threads on this board about cruise weight gain!?!?

[imouer]

To be honest the way the cruise industry has been going the last couple of years nobody on a cruise ship especially in the Caribbean has anything to be snobby about it’s becoming a real blue-collar experience

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[navybankerteacher]

I have not! BUT I've heard that CT pizza (specifically New Haven) ranks up there with NY pizza. (As does NJ pizza, for that matter.) Yum... Would love some right now...

 

...

 

If you ever drive I-95 east through Connecticut, take Exit 59 in Guilford, turn left onto the Post Road (US 1), go about two miles east and, just as you cross into Madison you will see the Red Tomato on your left. Since Pepe's on Wooster in New Haven started coasting on reputation, this is THE place for traditional New Haven - which means no mozzarella unless asked for as just another topping. Try their traditional -perhaps topped just with spinach and bacon - on a crust that makes the angels sing - you will want to find your way back.

[Irish Eyes Are Sailing]

To be honest the way the cruise industry has been going the last couple of years nobody on a cruise ship especially in the Caribbean has anything to be snobby about it’s becoming a real blue-collar experience

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

Am I wrong in thinking your comment was less than kind to a certain segment of society? :confused: Just because a person has a blue collar job does not make them low class......just sayin'.....

[Happily@Sea]

 

Personally, I prefer to not reveal what I do for a living because then I inevitably get the "oh, I have an easy tax question" response. A, there are no easy tax questions, and 2, I'm on vacation!

 

 

I'm retired, but if I mention what I did for over 30 years, I would be asked questions and hear complaints that I don't want to deal with. I've been retired 18 years, go ask a current employee.

[Roz]

Am I wrong in thinking your comment was less than kind to a certain segment of society? :confused: Just because a person has a blue collar job does not make them low class......just sayin'.....

 

My neighbor the plumber has a six-figure income, something I'll probably never achieve. If you've ever had raw sewage overflowing in your toilet, you would welcome his low class presence and assistance.

 

Roz

[cruisemom42]

 

People who are able to disconnect their professional lives from the personal lives usually find the question offensive. They would rather you got to know them on a personal level and not on a professional level. In other words, take the time to discover who I am as a person and not the tasks that I do to earn a living.

 

Perhaps this is an area of divide for older vs younger cruisers? I find those in my generation and also the one behind mine tend to blend work and life together. There is not a "defined" 8-5 work day. Sometimes I am working at 9:00 pm at night on a Friday, and sometimes I am off on a Tuesday morning. I check work emails on vacation. There's not any real disconnect...

 

Along the same vein, there's not a disconnect between who I am and what I do. I also think that's more common in younger professionals. I do what I do for a living because of my innate skills and talents, because I enjoy it, and because I feel I am contributing something.

 

It's a shame that anyone should feel they are being judged on or should be embarrassed by any honest job. Now if you're in the mob or you've made your stash by writing illegal scrips for oxycontin, that's different. ;p

 

I do agree that this whole question of snobbery and what-have-you depends on context and on having the skill set to sense when conversation is drifting into areas where others are uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the only way I know of to learn those skills is to practice them, and it seems most people don't want to engage in polite conversation, chit-chat, banter, etc.

 

I think we need to bring banter back. Let's all go watch "An Affair to Remember" to see how shipboard banter should look.... ;)

[CrossBluePerchance]

People look at us and naturally presume that we are stowaways, who don't have a cabin, and are probably hunkered down in a lifeboat.

[sail7seas]

True! I'm definitely a pizza snob. You can't beat New York pizza. ;p

 

 

Have you ever tasted pizza in Boston's North End? :)

[CrossBluePerchance]

- we want to talk to each other. We talk to the crew far more than we talk to other passengers. And we don't do group tours - we explore ports on our own.

We eat exclusively in the buffets, but this part of your post describes us to the proverbial 'T'.

Edited December 13, 2017 by CrossBluePerchance

[imouer]

Am I wrong in thinking your comment was less than kind to a certain segment of society? :confused: Just because a person has a blue collar job does not make them low class......just sayin'.....

 

 

 

I don’t know what to say here but our last carnival cruise looked like an actual carnival with real carnies with the majority of people seemingly being covered with tattoos in camo ball caps.. even on elegant night. I essentially grew up on welfare in the hood but I really have a hard time relating to the people I’m seeing on the ships these days, it’s really changed. I used to feel like the poor kid that was stepping up in life surrounding myself with successful people on the ship but today I’m Literally embarrassed to tell my coworkers we cruise

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[Irish Eyes Are Sailing]

My neighbor the plumber has a six-figure income, something I'll probably never achieve. If you've ever had raw sewage overflowing in your toilet, you would welcome his low class presence and assistance.

 

Roz

I agree with you........some "blue collar folks" earn more than doctors! Low class? I don't think so.........

[CruiseGal999]

Just asking (no judgment implied) - but, have you ever tried traditional New Haven pizza?

 

I've heard Mystic Pizza is really good. ;p

[Irish Eyes Are Sailing]

I don’t know what to say here but our last carnival cruise looked like an actual carnival with real carnies with the majority of people seemingly being covered with tattoos in camo ball caps.. even on elegant night. I essentially grew up on welfare in the hood but I really have a hard time relating to the people I’m seeing on the ships these days, it’s really changed. I used to feel like the poor kid that was stepping up in life surrounding myself with successful people on the ship but today I’m Literally embarrassed to tell my coworkers we cruise

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

Gosh, I am sorry you feel that way. I have not cruised with Carnival for a while so I can't speak about current "vibes" on their ships. My long ago cruises were very enjoyable. Congrats on escaping welfare in the hood, I am glad you have had success in your life, truly. That is something to be proud of. I am sad you feel that way about cruising. Hopefully, you will find a cruise line which makes you feel good that you can enjoy. I used to tell folks I took land tours and got the response that it "was all old people" but I have had great times and enjoyed most of the people I met on those tours. Interesting people with fascinating stories to tell. I could have been embarrassed about taking "old people tours" but I was not. Travelling is an experience at every level. I hope you can find a way to enjoy yourself whether it be cruise, tours, or on your own. It is worth it! But try not to classify people by what they do for a living....they may have a story to tell also....and one we can all learn from!

[CruiseGal999]

To be honest the way the cruise industry has been going the last couple of years nobody on a cruise ship especially in the Caribbean has anything to be snobby about it’s becoming a real blue-collar experience

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

Wow, that's pretty snobby. But have you seen the episode of Frasier where his plumber is an old high school classmate and makes more money than he does and drives the 1 up BMW than he does? It was funny because it's true!