Would you defend the waitstaff? How?

[TonyFred]

Exactly why out of 16 cruises I have yet to share a dining table with strangers. Breakfast or lunch, ok. Dinner---NO

[Domino D]

I am wondering how many people responding have worked in the service industry? I ask because many of the examples, while rude, are not really all that bad. They are common situations that most service people wouldn't think twice about. I think they probably bother you more than they bother the server. After you have dealt with someone truly terrible, someone wanting a spoon or being loud and drunk is everyday. We had a businessman slap a female desk clerk, a drunk man grope a waitress, a woman spit on a bartender, and then there is racist comments. Those are the ones you remember, and the ones you deal with. The number of people who complained the coffee taste funny, or people who swear that those aren't hash browns and want their meal for free, don't even register. Most of the drunks, our staffs found funny, and other than being loud not all that difficult. Occasionally you'll get a mean drunk. I know it is hard to believe but I doubt the staff even notices half of what of you see.

 

I do think the best thing is to fill out a positive comment card. When people at our table complain, I say things like: "I'm sorry, mine is delicious", "Actually I think he is doing a great job", "Maybe you should try something else", "You know if your unhappy with the service, they'll move you to another table". Of course, as most of you have said, I try to be reasonable, patient. and appreciative.

[luckyprincess]

I think its awful how most people choose the cowards way out and get seated elsewhere! Were you not taught by your parents to stand up to people being demeaning and rude to minimum wage workers? Changing tables does nothing but pacify your own discomfort. You can bet Id tell those people they are rude buffoons that don't deserve to eat in public and I would stay at that table to praise the waitstaff and protect them from abuse. Good luck to the bourgeois cruiser that gets their rocks off on demeaning wait staff. I have no problem correcting your behavior as your parents should have... and loudly.

[lenquixote66]

Another thread inspired me to ask. Scenario: Dining Room, tablemates that were assigned to sit with you. One (or more) of these people decides to be rude, demanding and demeaning to the waitstaff. How would you as a kind, human being react and what would you say to the get the arrogant guest to shut up, leave or be respectful? Would you also say something encouraging to your waitstaff?

 

A few years ago we were seated with a couple .The wife was very demanding and very rude to the waitstaff . On the last dinner night this woman told the waiter that they never tip because the waitstaff earn enough and do not need tips . I tipped a lot more than I usually do and told the waiter and his assistant that they were both excellent .

I hope never to see this couple again.

[myfuzzy]

Just a heads up regarding situations where servers or any employees who are "serving" the public. IF you see someone harassing, condescending, mocking, or any other situation where the employee is being prevented from doing his/her job...STEP UP, report it to their superior or manager. Unless you speak up and report the actions by the customer (passenger(s) in this case, the only recourse the superior or manager has is to side with the harassing customer (passenger) IF you step forward, then and there, the manager can step in and take over for the server to this particular "guest" and If the guest continues the harassing commentary, the guest can be removed form the dining room. The more people who step forward, the better for the server. You are not "defending" him/her, you are giving information on what happened, what was said and how the server responded. You can also afterwards submit a written statement to the supervisor or manager for the servers record. The worst thing you can do is walk away without saying anything.

[CanadaRob]

I would say something to the people at the table, if they made a fuss I would politely let them know they were out of line again and I would look for reassignment.

[Bookish Angel]

I would absolutely stand up for the wait staff then and there. People need to understand that that kind of behavior is NOT okay. Honestly, just letting it happen and being indifferent is just as bad, IMO.

 

Very well said.

[wendychloecruiser]

In no uncertain terms would I not say something. These are bullies who calmly need a rung taken out of their ladder. I would ensure that the Maitre D knows all about it as to prevent repercussions for the waiter.

[grapau27]

I think its awful how most people choose the cowards way out and get seated elsewhere! Were you not taught by your parents to stand up to people being demeaning and rude to minimum wage workers? Changing tables does nothing but pacify your own discomfort. You can bet Id tell those people they are rude buffoons that don't deserve to eat in public and I would stay at that table to praise the waitstaff and protect them from abuse. Good luck to the bourgeois cruiser that gets their rocks off on demeaning wait staff. I have no problem correcting your behavior as your parents should have... and loudly.

The ship have security if necessary to deal with obnoxious threatening people.

I am capable but don't see why I should get into a confrontation and risk being thrown off the ship.

Others have the best idea by telling the head waiter or maitreD and let them with or without the help of security to solve the problem and moving to a different table.

[leisuretraveler223]

I would absolutely stand up for the wait staff then and there. People need to understand that that kind of behavior is NOT okay. Honestly, just letting it happen and being indifferent is just as bad, IMO.

 

 

 

 

I would say something to the people at the table, if they made a fuss I would politely let them know they were out of line again and I would look for reassignment.

 

 

I get the sentiment here, but again, as a business owner, this is literally the LAST thing I want a customer to do. If I have an employee being mistreated by a customer, I am absolutely responsible and have a detailed action plan of how it is to be handled.

 

I understand people are well intentioned in saying they would stand up for that employee, and I really do appreciate the sentiment. But you have to understand, if you're already dealing with someone that is either acting irrationally, unreasonably or just being belligerent, the thought of a fellow customer who really and truly is not directly connected (and I do not believe simply sitting at the same table qualifies), getting involved makes me shudder.

 

If you want to take steps to immediately bring it to a supervisors attention, great. But there are very few scenarios where directly confronting the individual is going to help the situation. I promise you that while that worker might appreciate your sentiment, he or she already is well aware that they do not deserve to be treated like that. Please, watch out for yourself. If you don't like it, remove yourself from the situation. If you're unhappy you had to do so, please, let a manager know and they will do what they can to make it right. But the first goal in any conflict is to deflate, not to escalate.

 

 

Changing tables does nothing but pacify your own discomfort.

 

This is absolutely true. And if you are a customer of mine, I want to you purely focus on your own well being and comfort. Please let me do my job of providing service and looking after my staff. I appreciate your sentiment, but the LAST thing I want is a conflict between a customer and a staff member to escalate into a conflict between customers.

[grapau27]

I get the sentiment here, but again, as a business owner, this is literally the LAST thing I want a customer to do. If I have an employee being mistreated by a customer, I am absolutely responsible and have a detailed action plan of how it is to be handled.

 

I understand people are well intentioned in saying they would stand up for that employee, and I really do appreciate the sentiment. But you have to understand, if you're already dealing with someone that is either acting irrationally, unreasonably or just being belligerent, the thought of a fellow customer who really and truly is not directly connected (and I do not believe simply sitting at the same table qualifies), getting involved makes me shudder.

 

If you want to take steps to immediately bring it to a supervisors attention, great. But there are very few scenarios where directly confronting the individual is going to help the situation. I promise you that while that worker might appreciate your sentiment, he or she already is well aware that they do not deserve to be treated like that. Please, watch out for yourself. If you don't like it, remove yourself from the situation. If you're unhappy you had to do so, please, let a manager know and they will do what they can to make it right. But the first goal in any conflict is to deflate, not to escalate.

 

 

 

 

This is absolutely true. And if you are a customer of mine, I want to you purely focus on your own well being and comfort. Please let me do my job of providing service and looking after my staff. I appreciate your sentiment, but the LAST thing I want is a conflict between a customer and a staff member to escalate into a conflict between customers.

Very well said and I would be very comfortable and reassured being a customer of yours.

Graham.

[dadofjessie]

On our second Celebrity cruise in 2002 we chose open seating and on the first night we had a table of 8.

 

At the very start of the meal a woman seated to my left picked up a soup spoon and held it over her shoulder. The assistant waiter was pouring water and he didn't appear to see this gesture from someone who thought she was the Lady of the Manor in Downtown Abbey and went to the next table when she rudely called out, loud enough for the tables around us to turn their heads and look over. When the assistant walked back to her she scolded him saying "Do you expect me to dine with this?"

 

The spoon she held out was not dirty at all but did have water stains left over from washing as did my dinner knife.

 

She continued to complain about the poor training "these people" get and before the appetizer plates were cleared my wife and I got up excused ourselves and left, stopping at the podium where a head waiter was stationed. We explained to him that the silverware was not dirty and we changed to a two top for the rest of that cruise and have never again scheduled open seating.

 

bosco

 

Let's get something straight, the Lady of the Manor in Downton Abbey was not as rude as you describe the this woman to be. In fact, she appreciated her servants and treated them appropriately.

[xpcdoojk]

I get the sentiment here, but again, as a business owner, this is literally the LAST thing I want a customer to do. If I have an employee being mistreated by a customer, I am absolutely responsible and have a detailed action plan of how it is to be handled.

 

I understand people are well intentioned in saying they would stand up for that employee, and I really do appreciate the sentiment. But you have to understand, if you're already dealing with someone that is either acting irrationally, unreasonably or just being belligerent, the thought of a fellow customer who really and truly is not directly connected (and I do not believe simply sitting at the same table qualifies), getting involved makes me shudder.

 

If you want to take steps to immediately bring it to a supervisors attention, great. But there are very few scenarios where directly confronting the individual is going to help the situation. I promise you that while that worker might appreciate your sentiment, he or she already is well aware that they do not deserve to be treated like that. Please, watch out for yourself. If you don't like it, remove yourself from the situation. If you're unhappy you had to do so, please, let a manager know and they will do what they can to make it right. But the first goal in any conflict is to deflate, not to escalate.

 

 

 

 

This is absolutely true. And if you are a customer of mine, I want to you purely focus on your own well being and comfort. Please let me do my job of providing service and looking after my staff. I appreciate your sentiment, but the LAST thing I want is a conflict between a customer and a staff member to escalate into a conflict between customers.

 

Agree completely. I have no authority over anyone in the dining room, and exercising authority you don’t have on another passenger is crazy.

 

JC

[Desert Cruizers]

On our 2nd cruise we had a man who complained non stop and yelled at the wait staff. When we left that night, we went up to our waiter and told him we thought they were doing an excellent job and this person was out of line. We did stay at our table since the mans wife was really nice. In fact the night her husband left the table, she apologized to us.

[grest]

We were once seated at a table for 10. One couple thought they deserved more than the rest of us, displayed boorish and abusive behavior. The next night they were alone at that large table, as everyone else decided to move. Oh well...

[BecciBoo]

Thats exactly why we always request our own table with whomever we're traveling with or just us. We've made enough cruising buddies...don't like sitting with strangers now.:evilsmile:

[motherof]

Hopefully some introspection would kick in and the person would feel like a heel.

I wouldn't count on that happening. I have a friend whose wife is like that. My husband and I refuse to eat out with them because of the way she treats the waitstaff. In her mind, it is always justified. Defending the staff does nothing to change her behavior. If anything, she gets worse in her attempts to justify it. All we can do is apologize to the staff and leave a very large tip. Her husband is (self-protectively?) oblivious to her behavior.

 

I would offer sympathy to the waitstaff, and ask to change tables. At most, I would let the tablemates know I was leaving because of their behavior.

[BillOh]

If I was seated with people like that, I would leave the table and speak to the staff and ask for a new seating assignment going forward. I would not intervene on behalf of the staff, and I wouldn't call someone out I don't know on something like that. The staff is professional and has a stable leadership system. If I had a customer mistreating a member of my staff, I would never expect a fellow customer to intervene on my staff members behalf. That's not the customer's responsibility, it's mine. If the guest was being abusive, it's up to RCI to deal with it, not their paying customers.

 

 

I largely agree with that. I've never had it happen in the MDR, I had it happen in front of me at the Guest Explorations desk on Navigator. The cruiser in front of me did everything a stereotypical privileged ignoramus would and in an abusive way to a person who had no power to do anything. When it was all over and my turn, I did say, "Wow, I'm so sorry you had to endure that, it was uncalled for, but at least my request will be real easy!" After she went out of her way for me, I thanked her and moved on. Thinking back this was 2009, I'm glad its the only time I've seen this.

[Domino D]

.... leave a very large tip. Her husband is (self-protectively?) oblivious to her behavior.

 

This is the best thing to do. They will remember your generosity long after they have forgotten your friend. I have worked with a lot of service people, nothing says "Thanks" or "Sorry" like a healthy tip

 

The "Husband's Union" prevents me from commenting on a union brother.

[sjb317]

We were seated once with 3 other couples who seemed to be nice people to dine with but as the cruise progressed, we noticed they were becoming more and more critical of our waiter, a young woman from one of the African nations. She did not deserve their criticism as she was working very hard to try to make them happy, which seemed to be impossible . Our service was excellent, in our opinion.

 

We spoke with the head waiter one night after they had left the table and explained to him what was happening. We also praised her service highly to him and on our survey. And we gave her a very nice tip!:D

 

 

Sherri:)

[Big_G]

I spent a career trying to modify poor behavior. You're sadly mistaken if you think speaking up will correct some one. It might make you feel better but you're not correcting anything. It's analogous to calling people 'cowardly' on an anonymous public blog to make you feel better about yourself. I'd also request another table and state the reason why but I'd leave it at that. They're well trained and experienced enough to handle these things without my help.

[Bookish Angel]

I would not confront the boors but I would absolutely make sure that the disrespected employee's boss would know that he or she was not at fault.

[ladylemondrop]

Soeak to the Maitre D, tell him you wish to be moved, and explain why, we were once sat next to two tables of miserable grumpy looking people and asked to move on the basis we were offending them with our smiles and joy! I have never seen people on holiday look so unhappy!

[Domino D]

They're well trained and experienced enough to handle these things without my help.

 

Based on my experiences in the hotel industry, this is correct. While I am sure they appreciate your kind words, they do not feel the way you do. They see this every cruise, and it is part of the job. The Head Waiters and Maitre' D's know what is going on. They are going to try and make the difficult people happy, regardless of their behavior, that is the job. IF someones behavior is bothering other passengers, then they will move them, for your comfort, not the staffs.

[ChinaShrek]

I think its awful how most people choose the cowards way out and get seated elsewhere! Were you not taught by your parents to stand up to people being demeaning and rude to minimum wage workers? Changing tables does nothing but pacify your own discomfort. You can bet Id tell those people they are rude buffoons that don't deserve to eat in public and I would stay at that table to praise the waitstaff and protect them from abuse. Good luck to the bourgeois cruiser that gets their rocks off on demeaning wait staff. I have no problem correcting your behavior as your parents should have... and loudly.

 

I'm on vacation and have no desire to correct the behavior of another person unrelated to me if I am not being personally effected by it. I have seen verbal and physical fights on shore while on vacation and will not intervene. It's not my problem. I have not desire to get into a physical conflict with another person which can easily result. A lot of the above incidents also involve the abuse of alcohol, and I do not which to spend vacation time correcting the behavior of drunks. This is always a lost cause. Instead, we should look at banning or controlling the distribution of alcohol on ships.