Intrusive Staff in Main Dining Room

[cello56]

We were on a 7 night Western Caribbean cruise on Serenade last week with our good friends that we had not seen in almost three years due to Covid. We had looked forward to our dinners in the main dining room each evening for a time to chat and catch up together. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT the wait staff were so intrusive asking us over and over again if we liked our food and if their service was good. Every one of us for every dish they put down, sometimes as we started to eat and and when we finished. It was way too much and interrupted our conversations multiple times each meal. One night there was even a man in a suit - no idea of who he was - that came to our table and talked only to my husband and I asking how the cruise was going, how the food was, how the service was along with a long list of questions that he wrote down our answers on a paper he was carrying. He totally ignored our friends and they felt rather slighted. What is going on? 

On the final night I arrived early and told our waiter that we did not want any questions. Said that we had been on over 50 cruises and fully knew how to ask for an alternate choice if we didn't like a dish and how the post cruise survey worked. I was very polite and gentle but he looked like he was ready to cry. I felt bad, but enough was enough. Is this something that is happening on all the ships or were our staff just afraid of a bad review? 

[davekathy]

10 minutes ago, cello56 said:

We were on a 7 night Western Caribbean cruise on Serenade last week with our good friends that we had not seen in almost three years due to Covid. We had looked forward to our dinners in the main dining room each evening for a time to chat and catch up together. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT the wait staff were so intrusive asking us over and over again if we liked our food and if their service was good. Every one of us for every dish they put down, sometimes as we started to eat and and when we finished. It was way too much and interrupted our conversations multiple times each meal. One night there was even a man in a suit - no idea of who he was - that came to our table and talked only to my husband and I asking how the cruise was going, how the food was, how the service was along with a long list of questions that he wrote down our answers on a paper he was carrying. He totally ignored our friends and they felt rather slighted. What is going on? 

On the final night I arrived early and told our waiter that we did not want any questions. Said that we had been on over 50 cruises and fully knew how to ask for an alternate choice if we didn't like a dish and how the post cruise survey worked. I was very polite and gentle but he looked like he was ready to cry. I felt bad, but enough was enough. Is this something that is happening on all the ships or were our staff just afraid of a bad review? 

No one can answer that. We have never taken offense with our waitstaff or the headwaiter stopping by and asking us or speaking with us about our dining experience. Did you make this known on your PCS? 

[bretts173]

Probably a whole lot of new staff trying to do their best. I for one would have gladly talked to these overworked individuals seeking a bit of joy.

[dada2199cc]

It’s a cultural thing.

 

Competition is extremely heavy back home for these jobs, and the recruiters teach them repeatedly that US and Canadian customers are demanding and specific and to make sure everyone is happy.

 

They don’t have the same cultural barriers we do, in social settings, so some of them embarrass themselves in contorting to making sure everyone is 10/10 so they’re invited back.

 

source: I have (distant) relatives who have worked cruise ships and act this way among Westerners still.

 

 

[GTO-Girl]

We love interacting with the wait staff and taking the time to get to know them.  They are trying their best to do a good job and I try my best to be considerate of that…

 

If we want to hang out and visit with our friends we do it after dinner….

Edited November 23, 2022 by GTO-Girl

[jerseyjjs]

2 minutes ago, bretts173 said:

Probably a whole lot of new staff trying to do their best. I for one would have gladly talked to these overworked individuals seeking a bit of joy.

 

 

Constantly interrupting diners with questions that they're forced to ask is not seeking a bit of joy.

[sfaaa]

I doubt any of the staff wants to ask you questions or interrupt your meals if it is up to them. Why would they? They have enough to do as is. Most likely they are told to do it by higher up as part of their job.

[John&LaLa]

I agree, it can be annoying.

 

Try and set expectations early

Edited November 23, 2022 by John&LaLa

[D4]

4 minutes ago, John&LaLa said:

I agree, it can be annoying.

 

Try and set expectations early

This is the best answer.  It might have been better if you had mentioned it to them earlier in your cruise.

[John&LaLa]

Just now, D4 said:

This is the best answer.  It might have been better if you had mentioned it to them earlier in your cruise.

 

We always take the time to set expectations with both our cabin stewards and wait staff on day 1. They seem to appreciate the feedback. But we are pretty low maintenance 

[neverbeenhere]

You might get a survey at the end of your cruise, remember: 10 is the number!!!. 

[firefly333]

We had a guy at our table telling us a maybe long winded story.  The waiter finally pulled on the guys sleeve to stop his story to ask how the food was.

 

Maybe it's going too far to interrupt someone who is talking just to inquire about the food. 

[teddie]

Jeeze. The staff work their tails off. They are likely REQUIRED to be that attentive and their jobs may be at stake. Have some compassion  and just say, “thank you, everything is wonderful”, and then resume your conversation.  #firstworldproblem

[Cherries Jubilee]

I had this happen on a different cruise line. They were so worried about the survey ratings they were going to receive that they were very overbearing.The restaurant manager even came over every single night. We felt bad for them so we just let it happen.

 

I would rather this than terrible service but they put too much pressure on these workers.

[Secretlyfi]

The things going on in the MDR drove me away and into WJ or specialties a few years ago. From the questions, to the urging of 10 ratings on surveys, to roving photographers…I had enough. Finally, the increasing frequency of song, dance, speech & applause just got ridiculous. Wouldn’t enjoy that at any land restaurant and it’s no different for me on a ship. I also don’t really get the whole idea of conversing with wait staff about their personal lives - again, something I would never do at any restaurant, on land or at sea.

[fla33023]

1 hour ago, GTO-Girl said:

We love interacting with the wait staff and taking the time to get to know them.  They are trying their best to do a good job and I try my best to be considerate of that…

 

If we want to hang out and visit with our friends we do it after dinner….

Having dinner together is often the "hanging out." No one should have to schedule separate time because they have to talk to wait staff during the entire meal.

[bretts173]

And some people like to over exaggerate about lots of things. When someone says they have to talk to wait staff for the entire meal it is hard to believe considering these same wait staff have many tables to serve and to hover over all the time.

[GTO-Girl]

5 minutes ago, fla33023 said:

Having dinner together is often the "hanging out." No one should have to schedule separate time because they have to talk to wait staff during the entire meal.

After 50+ cruises I have never felt the dining staff was intrusive.  
 

Sorry……but being rude to the staff for just trying to be sure everything is to their liking is being rude.

[fla33023]

1 minute ago, GTO-Girl said:

After 50+ cruises I have never felt the dining staff was intrusive.  
 

Sorry……but being rude to the staff for just trying to be sure everything is to their liking is being rude.

I didn't get the impression that the OP was rude. They didn't say anything to anyone until the last night. And I don't understand why stating to the waiter that you are fine and don't need anything would be considered rude.

[FlGoodShips]

42 minutes ago, GTO-Girl said:

After 50+ cruises I have never felt the dining staff was intrusive.  
 

Sorry……but being rude to the staff for just trying to be sure everything is to their liking is being rude.

I agree with you.

Dining staff is fantastic. They are just concerned and want to make sure your cruise is the best it can be.

If they didn't check on you...you would probably say...Never saw or spoke to staff once dinner was served.

Please ....Be kind😊

[MightyMike]

I agree that the workers themselves are not the issue. It is incompetent management that has forgotten what cultured and refined dining is and replaced it with a factory-oriented, numeric incentive system. I also noticed this type of intrusiveness on my last cruise, but not quite to the level of annoyance the OP experienced.

 

I understand that all we have to do is to tell the waiter we are fine (each time). I understand that their compensation (and perhaps their jobs) are dependent upon our cooperation. I understand that it doesn't take a whole lot of work on our part to help them out. But I long for the days when we didn't even need to think about such matters and could instead focus entirely on enjoying the meal and conversation.

[Jasukkie]

Agree 100% with the original post. It's oversolicitous and tedious. I don't want to be insulting and I don't blame the workers at all, clearly that's in their training, but it's too much sometimes. Dinner should be a relaxing meal, not me having to make sure everyone is validated about their performance. Even if I wasn't happy about my meal I wouldn't say anything because I don't want to deal with the service recovery efforts from the section chief, head waiter, and maitre'd. One more reason I lean towards the Windjammer more and more.

[LibertyBella]

It seems to me that if your waiters constantly asked you how everything was is because they may not have felt comfortable or confident that you were appreciative. Yes, they may have been new, and were nervous.  They are also on tight timelines with lots of tables to serve. If you and your friends were deeply involved in conversation, the waiters were unsure of your reactions to the food and the process. The communication between client and wait staff was not clear.

 

I have been on many cruises, many lines, and I have never had the need to "put the wait staff in their place."  I learn all their names, where they are from,  including the Maitre d' (probably the man in the suit), greet them, smile at them, let them know our requests, and help them learn our dining style (my husband ALWAYS wants a cheese plate before dessert).  

 

By the middle of the cruise they know everything we enjoy/want/need, and rarely ask us any questions.  We also tip each one individually at the end with cash in addition to the daily tip charge, because that is the way we like to cruise.

 

I have also eaten in fine restaurants all over the world, and yes, the serving staff must always attend to their customers and check-in.  Eating in any fine restaurant in the world requires interaction with staff!

Edited November 23, 2022 by LibertyBella
typo

[bretts173]

I just can't get over the self importance thinking they were the only ones being constantly hassled. Serving multiple tables at a time but you were the special ones.

[LittleJoefromKokomo]

I understand that they want to give us the best dining experience and that they are trained to do so, but.... sometimes we don't like being interupted when we are having a conversation or eating. A good waitor can get a sense of when the time is right to approach a table and talk to the guests but sometimes they interupt in a quite disturbing way. The worst situation I have seen was when a person at at table was interupted when he was holding a speach to his friends. That should never happen but I guess he might have been a new waitor.