Intrusive Staff in Main Dining Room

[rhino7176]

7 hours ago, cello56 said:

We were on a 7 night Western Caribbean cruise on Serenade last week with our good friends that we had not seen in almost three years due to Covid. We had looked forward to our dinners in the main dining room each evening for a time to chat and catch up together. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT the wait staff were so intrusive asking us over and over again if we liked our food and if their service was good. Every one of us for every dish they put down, sometimes as we started to eat and and when we finished. It was way too much and interrupted our conversations multiple times each meal. One night there was even a man in a suit - no idea of who he was - that came to our table and talked only to my husband and I asking how the cruise was going, how the food was, how the service was along with a long list of questions that he wrote down our answers on a paper he was carrying. He totally ignored our friends and they felt rather slighted. What is going on? 

On the final night I arrived early and told our waiter that we did not want any questions. Said that we had been on over 50 cruises and fully knew how to ask for an alternate choice if we didn't like a dish and how the post cruise survey worked. I was very polite and gentle but he looked like he was ready to cry. I felt bad, but enough was enough. Is this something that is happening on all the ships or were our staff just afraid of a bad review? 

Your reaction seems a little bitchy and insensitive to the wait staff to me.  They take a few seconds to do that, jezz.

 

We love getting to know our wait staff, even when we are cruising with other couples.  This to me seems a bit prima donna-esqe on your part.  They are making sure you are taken care of......

Edited November 23, 2022 by rhino7176

[L454S]

Had the same thing on the Odyssey T/A a few weeks ago. Waiter was a nice fellow, but never shut up. He would hover over my shoulder at times. I agree with above poster, this seemed to be trained into him.

 

Early fixed seating, 3300 pax, so several open tables.

 

Asst. waiter was very good. Knew the right time to ask about something you might want.

Edited November 23, 2022 by L454S

[rhino7176]

5 hours ago, GTO-Girl said:

After 50+ cruises I have never felt the dining staff was intrusive.  
 

Sorry……but being rude to the staff for just trying to be sure everything is to their liking is being rude.

Exactly.... this is simply a horty torty thing from the OP.... I have been on many cruises and talked to the waiters, it was never more than a minute or two at a time and I actually njoyed talking to them.  This attitude is just crazy, I like to get to know my waiters and bartenders, as I like learning about other cultures.  Quite sad some don't treat them as human beings.

[rhino7176]

5 hours ago, fla33023 said:

I didn't get the impression that the OP was rude. They didn't say anything to anyone until the last night. And I don't understand why stating to the waiter that you are fine and don't need anything would be considered rude.

Pulling him aside the last night to say that is a slap in the face and is basically saying you've annoyed us enough.  Very poor etiquette IMO.

[rhino7176]

2 hours ago, Jasukkie said:

Agree 100% with the original post. It's oversolicitous and tedious. I don't want to be insulting and I don't blame the workers at all, clearly that's in their training, but it's too much sometimes. Dinner should be a relaxing meal, not me having to make sure everyone is validated about their performance. Even if I wasn't happy about my meal I wouldn't say anything because I don't want to deal with the service recovery efforts from the section chief, head waiter, and maitre'd. One more reason I lean towards the Windjammer more and more.

Too many people here are high stress.... a 1 or 2 minute conversation with a worker shouldn't be below you.  The entitlement of some boggles my mind.

[rhino7176]

7 hours ago, cello56 said:

We were on a 7 night Western Caribbean cruise on Serenade last week with our good friends that we had not seen in almost three years due to Covid. We had looked forward to our dinners in the main dining room each evening for a time to chat and catch up together. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT the wait staff were so intrusive asking us over and over again if we liked our food and if their service was good. Every one of us for every dish they put down, sometimes as we started to eat and and when we finished. It was way too much and interrupted our conversations multiple times each meal. One night there was even a man in a suit - no idea of who he was - that came to our table and talked only to my husband and I asking how the cruise was going, how the food was, how the service was along with a long list of questions that he wrote down our answers on a paper he was carrying. He totally ignored our friends and they felt rather slighted. What is going on? 

On the final night I arrived early and told our waiter that we did not want any questions. Said that we had been on over 50 cruises and fully knew how to ask for an alternate choice if we didn't like a dish and how the post cruise survey worked. I was very polite and gentle but he looked like he was ready to cry. I felt bad, but enough was enough. Is this something that is happening on all the ships or were our staff just afraid of a bad review? 

If you have been on 50+ cruises you would know who the man in "the suit" was.... good lord.  Go to a bar to converse, get to know the staff for godsake...... this is beyond entitlement, to put them in their place the last day is crazy, let alone any day.... wow!

 

[rhino7176]

2 hours ago, LibertyBella said:

It seems to me that if your waiters constantly asked you how everything was is because they may not have felt comfortable or confident that you were appreciative. Yes, they may have been new, and were nervous.  They are also on tight timelines with lots of tables to serve. If you and your friends were deeply involved in conversation, the waiters were unsure of your reactions to the food and the process. The communication between client and wait staff was not clear.

 

I have been on many cruises, many lines, and I have never had the need to "put the wait staff in their place."  I learn all their names, where they are from,  including the Maitre d' (probably the man in the suit), greet them, smile at them, let them know our requests, and help them learn our dining style (my husband ALWAYS wants a cheese plate before dessert).  

 

By the middle of the cruise they know everything we enjoy/want/need, and rarely ask us any questions.  We also tip each one individually at the end with cash in addition to the daily tip charge, because that is the way we like to cruise.

 

I have also eaten in fine restaurants all over the world, and yes, the serving staff must always attend to their customers and check-in.  Eating in any fine restaurant in the world requires interaction with staff!

Unfortunately not everyone views it this way, which is sad.  I tip in cash to my wait staff, steward and bartenders on top of my prepaid tips.  Crazy what people want to complain about.

[ldubs]

6 hours ago, John&LaLa said:

 

We always take the time to set expectations with both our cabin stewards and wait staff on day 1. They seem to appreciate the feedback. But we are pretty low maintenance 

 

What exactly type of expectations with wait staff?  I'm not saying it is a bad idea.  I just don't understand what would be explained to MDR staff on day one.  

 

To the OP's experience, we have never had anything remotely like that happen.   

[jean87510]

Last year when Windjammer was closed we had to eat in MDR on the Adventure 2x and the Grandeur.  We experienced the waiters at our tables talking a lot as well.  We are private people and don't really engage during our meals but it wasn't that bad.  We know it's their job and we also know when to end the conversation which is by starting to eat.  Only thing that got me was the cologne 

[jerseyjjs]

2 hours ago, rhino7176 said:

Too many people here are high stress.... a 1 or 2 minute conversation with a worker shouldn't be below you.  The entitlement of some boggles my mind.

 

 

It's not about "entitlement".  If they were making small talk with the wait staff, (how long have you been with the cruise line, what's life like in your home country) that's fine.  But to be interrupted with "how is your meal" and "make sure you select 10 on your survey"  7-10 times by 4 different people every night of your dining experience gets at least uncomfortable if not annoying.

[CanHardlyWait4NextYear]

Sorry I disagree. If you pester me too much and are in my face too much, that's no good. And any more then 1 mention of surveys and good ratings of 10 and we have a problem. But I nicely say got it, fine, don't need to remind me or bring it up again. If they do, it's a 1 not a 10. And I don't need to know their life story etc. Unless it comes up naturally. There is a line for being to pushy. If they just like to chat that's fine. If I feel it's just to kiss up for something, move on. But bringing up the good rating thing repeatedly will get you no place with me.

[Billy Baltic]

I have to agree with the OP. On Wonder during the Summer some of the wait staff were way too talkative. When we sit, I’d expect an element of “how was your day’ etc but during the meal they would call back to not only inquire about the food (totally acceptable) but also specific “do you like the sauce or the seasoning”. They would also stay and give a run down of some of the entertainment on the ship that evening. While having a coffee, they would come back to talk about the port the next day and ask if we have any plans, etc. It’s not a case of being impolite to the wait staff but when they are interfering with the enjoyment of your dinner then you have to say so. 

[DirtyDawg]

1 hour ago, CanHardlyWait4NextYear said:

Sorry I disagree. If you pester me too much and are in my face too much, that's no good. And any more then 1 mention of surveys and good ratings of 10 and we have a problem. But I nicely say got it, fine, don't need to remind me or bring it up again. If they do, it's a 1 not a 10. And I don't need to know their life story etc. Unless it comes up naturally. There is a line for being to pushy. If they just like to chat that's fine. If I feel it's just to kiss up for something, move on. But bringing up the good rating thing repeatedly will get you no place with me.

I agree, some of the wait staff are too over the top communicating with the customers. Unfortunately Royal's idiotic obsession with 10's on the feedback surveys drives a lot of this.

 

I have found that most of the crew do get the message that they are being too chatty or disruptive by using my diplomacy 101 skills and a bit of humour to indicate they should 'tone it down'. I'll usually do that way before they are actually bothering me because Mrs. Dawg has a much shorter fuse than I do when it comes to this, and after 30+ years I know when to step in to get the crew member to basically shut up and move on. But sometimes they don't get the message. 😪  Then it's " Oh man, your walking right into a minefield buddy" and Mrs. Dawg will then let them know in no uncertain terms further disruptions will not be tolerated. They all get the message, not loudly mind you, but very, very clearly.  And yes, she didn't get an 'A' in Diplomacy 101. 😉

 

Edited November 23, 2022 by DirtyDawg

[NC State]

They were just doing their jobs, they are required to ask. I would have gone to a nice place on the ship to enjoy our friends to talk with a couple of drinks. I'm sure it was several nights on board so you would have plenty of times to talk. Dinner is to eat and move on for the next group to eat. 

[time4u2go]

4 hours ago, bretts173 said:

I just can't get over the self importance thinking they were the only ones being constantly hassled. Serving multiple tables at a time but you were the special ones.

Where did they say that they were the only ones? 

[John&LaLa]

4 hours ago, ldubs said:

 

What exactly type of expectations with wait staff?  I'm not saying it is a bad idea.  I just don't understand what would be explained to MDR staff on day one.  

 

To the OP's experience, we have never had anything remotely like that happen.   

 

We like to be done in an hour, any dietary concerns, how Laura likes her chicken noodle soup (that may change😪), don't worry if Laura doesn't clean her plate (she's a light eater), things like that.

 

With cabin steward, its bring two compasses, an extra blanket, no towel animals, once a day clean (evening), and no ice.

 

Used to ask for first clean of the day, but they seem over taxed and one clean really is enough for us

[mpdog42]

A Sargent once told me when i was new in Law Enforcement. That 50% percent of the people that i encounter will be ****.Looking back now... Man he was right!!! and he didn't even know about CC back then...Talk about #First World Problems!

[ReneeFLL]

11 hours ago, cello56 said:

We were on a 7 night Western Caribbean cruise on Serenade last week with our good friends that we had not seen in almost three years due to Covid. We had looked forward to our dinners in the main dining room each evening for a time to chat and catch up together. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT the wait staff were so intrusive asking us over and over again if we liked our food and if their service was good. Every one of us for every dish they put down, sometimes as we started to eat and and when we finished. It was way too much and interrupted our conversations multiple times each meal. One night there was even a man in a suit - no idea of who he was - that came to our table and talked only to my husband and I asking how the cruise was going, how the food was, how the service was along with a long list of questions that he wrote down our answers on a paper he was carrying. He totally ignored our friends and they felt rather slighted. What is going on? 

On the final night I arrived early and told our waiter that we did not want any questions. Said that we had been on over 50 cruises and fully knew how to ask for an alternate choice if we didn't like a dish and how the post cruise survey worked. I was very polite and gentle but he looked like he was ready to cry. I felt bad, but enough was enough. Is this something that is happening on all the ships or were our staff just afraid of a bad review? 

I’m on the Liberty now and it’s the same. We were just talking about it last night and how annoying it is. What was worse was that they were short staffed and service was extremely slow, yet they took the time to constantly ask how things were. They even had crew in their Jonny Rockets uniforms working in the MD.

 

11 hours ago, dada2199cc said:

It’s a cultural thing.

 

Competition is extremely heavy back home for these jobs, and the recruiters teach them repeatedly that US and Canadian customers are demanding and specific and to make sure everyone is happy.

 

They don’t have the same cultural barriers we do, in social settings, so some of them embarrass themselves in contorting to making sure everyone is 10/10 so they’re invited back.

 

source: I have (distant) relatives who have worked cruise ships and act this way among Westerners still.

 

 

Not so sure about this. We just came off the Ovation for 30 days and didn’t have this issue.

 

Edited November 23, 2022 by ReneeFLL

[ReneeFLL]

10 hours ago, teddie said:

Jeeze. The staff work their tails off. They are likely REQUIRED to be that attentive and their jobs may be at stake. Have some compassion  and just say, “thank you, everything is wonderful”, and then resume your conversation.  #firstworldproblem

When you have to say it at least 10 times a night it is very annoying. Compassion or not, it was ridiculous last night. Felt bad for the waiters.

[Billy Baltic]

Since it doesn’t appear to happen across all ships maybe it’s only some of the hotel directors that need to be retrained 🤔

[LinRon3]

12 hours ago, dada2199cc said:

It’s a cultural thing.

 

Competition is extremely heavy back home for these jobs, and the recruiters teach them repeatedly that US and Canadian customers are demanding and specific and to make sure everyone is happy.

 

They don’t have the same cultural barriers we do, in social settings, so some of them embarrass themselves in contorting to making sure everyone is 10/10 so they’re invited back.

 

source: I have (distant) relatives who have worked cruise ships and act this way among Westerners still.

 

 

Just curious; not taking offense or anything.  Do you or others here really think Americans [USA] and Canadians are demanding?  And what cultural barriers are you referring to?  Word I've gotten is we tend to tip heavier [even in places tipping is not expected]...though I do suppose there is the old 'ugly American' stereotype of being loud and boisterous and maybe a bit braggadocios [at least if one is from Texas and ha, do the French still hate us LOL]?  All in good fun of course.  But I have not heard tell that other cultures think we are demanding or have 'barriers'?  If anything, seems we've bent over backwards to erase all barriers.  But not sure what you mean. There's always a meathead or two in every grouping, large or small. We heard one guy, on our Jewel cruise recently, complain very vociferously about the wrong wine being served.  Made a scene that made many quiet and uncomfortable in that area of the MDR.  But he was just an AH...and they can be found in any culture methinks. Just curious as mentioned. 

[AtSeaAlways]

This all comes from Headquarters- the new thing is Net Promoter Score.  Big companies can get "metrics driven" which pushes people to game the surveys. There is a fine line here- our most recent RCCL guest survey asked a question if anyone told us directly to answer a "10" on the surveys.   If they put too much job /promotion/pay pressure on the staff for good survey scores you get this behavior.  And, worst of all, the beloved metrics become false - the data collection process needs to be unobtrusive.  

 

If staff are too in your face we ask them to please stop.  If not track down your head waiter (usually a lovely person who has been a waiter and or host).  If not track down the host (who has been a waiter) and get a new table.  I usually greet the MDR leadership chain and thank them for the good stuff and issue $20 bills.  Our last trips they really rocked the service and fish dishes.   Being negative on the survey is the last resort.  

[coaster]

The constant conversations regarding the survey annoy me. Always pushing to get people to give 10 on the survey. The wait staff and even a loud announcement every cruise from the higher ups begging for 10's really cheapens the experience. I blame it on corporate and not the hard working people in the MDR. They just are putting them in this position.

[LinRon3]

2 minutes ago, AtSeaAlways said:

This all comes from Headquarters- the new thing is Net Promoter Score.  Big companies can get "metrics driven" which pushes people to game the surveys. There is a fine line here- our most recent RCCL guest survey asked a question if anyone told us directly to answer a "10" on the surveys.   If they put too much job /promotion/pay pressure on the staff for good survey scores you get this behavior.  And, worst of all, the beloved metrics become false - the data collection process needs to be unobtrusive.  

 

If staff are too in your face we ask them to please stop.  If not track down your head waiter (usually a lovely person who has been a waiter and or host).  If not track down the host (who has been a waiter) and get a new table.  I usually greet the MDR leadership chain and thank them for the good stuff and issue $20 bills.  Our last trips they really rocked the service and fish dishes.   Being negative on the survey is the last resort.  

Yea, we've wondered how to answer this question on the surveys [as to did anyone approach us about giving a good score]?  We appreciate the crew and staff on cruise ships; they do a magnificent job and are amazing at being able to make one feel special.  One stops to consider the many many people they see and faces change so often...their hospitality always seems sincere, fresh, and vital.  Truly amazing.  So, when asked this question on the survey, by answering 'yes' [we were approached, and we usually are in the MDR, just to suggest how important these surveys are to them]...well, we wonder if by saying 'yes' is this somehow incriminating?  Are they SUPPOSED to approach us on this? By saying 'no' however, does it suggest they are neglecting part of their job IF RCL requires them to approach us?  We usually just say 'NO' [even if we were approached].  

[TeeRick]

3 hours ago, jerseyjjs said:

 

 

It's not about "entitlement".  If they were making small talk with the wait staff, (how long have you been with the cruise line, what's life like in your home country) that's fine.  But to be interrupted with "how is your meal" and "make sure you select 10 on your survey"  7-10 times by 4 different people every night of your dining experience gets at least uncomfortable if not annoying.

Go back to the original post. The OP never said 7-10 times or the number of people asking or any other number for that matter.  And they never said they were actually asked to give a 10 on their survey.  And if people are not asked about their food by the wait staff then they would probably complain about that.