Defending cruise ship staff

[Keith1010]

The good news is that the vast majority of people that one sails with are nice and not rude to others.

 

From time to time there are a few not so nice people.

 

I would stay out of it though.

 

Keith

[rtownsend]

I guess my feeling is that the type of person who isn't afraid to stand up and speak against the bad treatment of another is not usually the type of person who would then try and pull something like that with the cruise line. Maybe I'm naïve though.

 

I think I'm just one of those people who are in the minority here. I don't know. I totally get that you can't make a leopard change his spots. And I get that putting yourself into the situation could escalate it further. And I understand that people in the service industry deal with this every day. It's part of the job. I know this. I've been in customer service for over 20 years so I've had my fair share of verbal abuse that I cannot react to as I'd like to. And I know that getting involved in one of these situations may not always be the best choice.

 

That said.......I'm sorry, I can't help it.......If I am witnessing someone, be a staff member, or someone in the service industry or anything like that being unnecessarily berated or verbally abused , I am simply unable to NOT say something. It's just not in me to stay quiet about it.

Like someone said, they may not change, but sometimes they need SOMEONE to call them out on it. And sometimes, just sometimes, one person speaking up against a wrong gives others the courage to do the same. Sometimes "it starts with one" Obviously my goal would never be to make the situation worse. And I'm sure that there are times where it's best if I just keep my small stature and big mouth out of it. But good Lord, I simply cannot watch someone being abused that way and not have the common decency to stand up for them and say something. I just can't. :(

 

 

 

Thank you for your comments. People should address bad situations as they occur. Silence does nothing. On a recent Bermuda cruise a husband poured his drink on his wife and was about to assault her until others intervened, including myself. Could you imagine how this situation would have turned out if people remained silent. I have maintained contact with this lady. Finally having people stand up for her empowered her to leave this abuse ***. Nadersmom thank you for being you. You don't have to agree but silence is part of the ongoing problem. See something say something

 

 

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[grapau27]

Thank you for your comments. People should address bad situations as they occur. Silence does nothing. On a recent Bermuda cruise a husband poured his drink on his wife and was about to assault her until others intervened, including myself. Could you imagine how this situation would have turned out if people remained silent. I have maintained contact with this lady. Finally having people stand up for her empowered her to leave this abuse ***. Nadersmom thank you for being you. You don't have to agree but silence is part of the ongoing problem. See something say something

 

 

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I have to agree with you,as you all did right to stop this piece of trash assaulting his wife which if he does this in public what is he capable of in private?

Sometimes you have to face down bullies and often they are cowards when people stand up to them.

Thankfully in most situations there are sufficient staff to cope with nasty situations.

[slidergirl]

It is all about the situation. I was thankful for that gentleman who tried to intervene with the nasty Russian (who was NOT drunk) when he got too physically close and threatened us. That intervention gave me the needed time to grab the radio and call a Code Red. I was thankful for the people who came up after a guest verbally abused me and offered their business cards and said to call if they needed backup for any post-incident reviews. I was thankful for the guests who told me to "take my time" to breathe after a nasty enounter.

To show another situation:

We allowed an entitled twit to make an ass of himself by screaming, berating all of us, jumping up on the Front Desk and refusing to leave. It was late at night, so it was only disturbing us and an occasional guest. Tried to reason with him, did not work. Security was called, and the guest still would not leave. We all just let him continue. We finally called the local police Dept. and had them come up. The guest was given the choice of leaving the property on his own with his family (wife and 14-year old daughter) or spend the night in jail. If it had been earlier in the evening, we would have called much sooner for the police. He really rattled our young, new Front Desk manager, but there were 4 more of us around. He was on the Security cameras the entire time, plus one of us (not me) stood and did a hidden filming of his antics (complete with video). He and his family are no longer welcome at any of that corporations' thousands of hotels around the world...

[Nadersmom]

Thank you for your comments. People should address bad situations as they occur. Silence does nothing. On a recent Bermuda cruise a husband poured his drink on his wife and was about to assault her until others intervened, including myself. Could you imagine how this situation would have turned out if people remained silent. I have maintained contact with this lady. Finally having people stand up for her empowered her to leave this abuse ***. Nadersmom thank you for being you. You don't have to agree but silence is part of the ongoing problem. See something say something

 

 

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Thank you so much rtownsend. :) Lifts my spirits when I hear more people who are willing to do what they feel in their heart is the right thing to do to help others who may not be able to do what is needed.

 

Now, please know that I am by no means condemning anyone else that feels its best to stay out of it. We each have our own thoughts and feelings on the matter and that's OK. What I choose to involve myself in is totally on me. I've just always had a severe dislike for bullies of any type. And I have always believed that in this life we should help each other when we can. Admittedly my common sense may sometimes be lacking when my heart gets involved ;), even with strangers. But I suppose that's a fault of mine that I'm willing to accept considering what it may mean to someone who needs help.

[PrincessE]

Unfortunately I've seen passengers be rude to crew members on more than a few occasions. I'm the kind of person who speaks up and I will and have interrupted the idiot doing the yelling and shut them down. I've also followed up with the crew member and praised them for how they handled the situation. Finally I do either make a visit to the Purser's desk or I fill out a comment card about how fantastic this crew member was during a rotten situation. I'm not looking for fights when I'm on vacation, but I will not stand by while someone needlessly gets dressed down by a fellow passenger.

[ldubs]

The good news is that the vast majority of people that one sails with are nice and not rude to others.

 

From time to time there are a few not so nice people.

 

I would stay out of it though.

 

Keith

 

Yes, this is so true. The majority of people are fantastic. It only takes a few bad apples....

[tip]

Several years ago on HAL, they had a terrific barbeque adjacent to the pool after we left a Caribbean port on a warm evening. It was popular and the line was long. As a matter of fact there were two lines. What can only be described as an "old biddy" got in line behind us and was incensed that there was a line and that she had to wait. She captured the attention of a ship's officer in uniform and berated him up one side and down the other saying that she never would have come up to the barbeque if she knew that there was going to be a line. The officer very gently recommended that she go over to the regular Lido Buffet where there was no line or consider the main dining room instead. She continued to chew him out and walked away in disgust.

 

I did not intervene, but after my meal (which was terrific), I approached him and commended him for his patience and tact. If it were me, I no doubt have been fired for telling her to go to #$%&.

[SmoothFlying]

Several years ago on HAL, they had a terrific barbeque adjacent to the pool after we left a Caribbean port on a warm evening. It was popular and the line was long. As a matter of fact there were two lines. What can only be described as an "old biddy" got in line behind us and was incensed that there was a line and that she had to wait. She captured the attention of a ship's officer in uniform and berated him up one side and down the other saying that she never would have come up to the barbeque if she knew that there was going to be a line. The officer very gently recommended that she go over to the regular Lido Buffet where there was no line or consider the main dining room instead. She continued to chew him out and walked away in disgust.

 

I did not intervene, but after my meal (which was terrific), I approached him and commended him for his patience and tact. If it were me, I no doubt have been fired for telling her to go to #$%&.

 

While I agree w/you completely (in theory) and know the temptation to give some 'ole rude duck (probably older than dirt) a faint smile, and whisper in her ear, 'I'D love too BBQ your a$$ over some hot coals'. I realize that ship's officers ARE professionals and are told over and over, 'just consider that it's all in your job'. I was in public contact service (uniform law enforcement) for ten years and the above 'all just a part of your job' was drilled into us everyday. I had talked with others, in public service jobs-i.e. airline ticket agents who said they were expected to even ignore being spit on, even in the face! :eek: I told them, now I wasn't sure I COULD ignore that!! But they told me that it has happened with quite regularity. To me (and I'm no lawyer) something like that could border on physical assault? Wayyyy beyond 'all just a part of..'

 

Mac

[BillOh]

I probably would not say anything to the passenger being rude, but I likely would say something to the staff member to (hopefully) make him/her feel better. We often tell the crew what a great job they do -- and we mean it.

 

That is exactly what I did on the most egregious situation I saw. I told the lady at the Explorations Desk, "I'm sorry you had to endure that, but my request should be easier. "

[cb at sea]

It would probably be helpful for things like a gelato stand to have a sign clearly SHOWING the price...that way, it would be easier on the employee. Unfortunately, rude folks are everywhere! Just today, a woman in my bank made a huge scene because the teller wouldn't give her funds from her boyfriend's account! She yelled and hollered and fired the teller!!! (or tried...I think she was drunk!)....happens everywhere!

[Nadersmom]

There's a saying I quite enjoy.......

 

"I won't judge you based on how much money you have, your possessions, or how you look. I'll judge you by how you treat the wait staff in a restaurant and where you leave your shopping cart when you're done with it"

[grapau27]

There's a saying I quite enjoy.......

 

"I won't judge you based on how much money you have, your possessions, or how you look. I'll judge you by how you treat the wait staff in a restaurant and where you leave your shopping cart when you're done with it"

My thoughts are always:-

Treat everyone the way you would like to be treated yourself then hopefully everyone is happy.

 

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[BillOh]

There's a saying I quite enjoy.......

 

"I won't judge you based on how much money you have, your possessions, or how you look. I'll judge you by how you treat the wait staff in a restaurant and where you leave your shopping cart when you're done with it"

 

 

Apparently I'm not the only person left in the world who returns carts to the store or the corral in the lot. Good to know.

[Beachdude]

I know this is about rude behavior at service personnel, but I have witnessed some pretty rude behavior from the service personnel. I guess we can all have a bad day.

 

But, I wonder is a person rude when it doesn't come from the heart. Cruisers come from all kinds of cultures and I have observed many cultures where service personnel are treated with a normal tone that we in the United States would consider rude. Much of the behavior is differences in class, does that make it condescending?

 

On the face of it, I sure don't like it. But it appears the service personnel on the ship understand and respect the behavior because they work agreeably with these passengers. In most cases the behavior comes to light in the dining room where the staff is expected to jump at every command. And strangely, it's the mothers of the group that seem most, how shall we put it, bossy? Could it be they also tip very well? I don't know, but most of the time the head waiter seems know these passengers. The behavior certainly is cultural. Is that a bad thing?

 

I have been told that tipping is considered rude in some cultures, yet some American posters on this forum insist they would still tip because they feel it is the right thing to do. Who is being more rude?

 

I'm not defending bad behavior, but sometimes American since of fair play needs some balance so as not to become American arrogance.

 

Of course being from Oklahoma, I'm never sure how to deal with that New Jersey family in the next cabin. Is that cultural? :D

 

Burt

[Blondilu]

I know this is about rude behavior at service personnel, but I have witnessed some pretty rude behavior from the service personnel. I guess we can all have a bad day.

 

But, I wonder is a person rude when it doesn't come from the heart. Cruisers come from all kinds of cultures and I have observed many cultures where service personnel are treated with a normal tone that we in the United States would consider rude. Much of the behavior is differences in class, does that make it condescending?

 

On the face of it, I sure don't like it. But it appears the service personnel on the ship understand and respect the behavior because they work agreeably with these passengers. In most cases the behavior comes to light in the dining room where the staff is expected to jump at every command. And strangely, it's the mothers of the group that seem most, how shall we put it, bossy? Could it be they also tip very well? I don't know, but most of the time the head waiter seems know these passengers. The behavior certainly is cultural. Is that a bad thing?

 

I have been told that tipping is considered rude in some cultures, yet some American posters on this forum insist they would still tip because they feel it is the right thing to do. Who is being more rude?

 

I'm not defending bad behavior, but sometimes American since of fair play needs some balance so as not to become American arrogance.

 

Of course being from Oklahoma, I'm never sure how to deal with that New Jersey family in the next cabin. Is that cultural? :D

 

Burt

 

I agree that a lot of what we may think is rude is just status quo for some people. I was once told I was rude because I often don't say please and thank you. Those words are superfluous, rather it's the intent of your exchange that, to me, sets the tone, not pretty words. Apparently the person who told me that had never heard the words "please and thank you" uttered in a rude, sarcastic way. These days I try harder to say please and thank, especially to those waiting on me.

 

As I stated earlier I have lost my mind, been rude, and have had to go back to apologize to some poor soul whose only crime was crossing my path when I was having a bad day. So, I kind of think I know what rude is and believe that if the intent was to be mean then you are definitely being rude.

 

Some people are just loud and maybe a bit crude, even ill-mannered. But, mean and disrespectful is entirely different IMHO.

[Beachdude]

Well said

 

Burt

[Swampbabe]

I agree that a lot of what we may think is rude is just status quo for some people. I was once told I was rude because I often don't say please and thank you. Those words are superfluous, rather it's the intent of your exchange that, to me, sets the tone, not pretty words. Apparently the person who told me that had never heard the words "please and thank you" uttered in a rude, sarcastic way. These days I try harder to say please and thank, especially to those waiting on me.

 

 

 

As I stated earlier I have lost my mind, been rude, and have had to go back to apologize to some poor soul whose only crime was crossing my path when I was having a bad day. So, I kind of think I know what rude is and believe that if the intent was to be mean then you are definitely being rude.

 

 

 

Some people are just loud and maybe a bit crude, even ill-mannered. But, mean and disrespectful is entirely different IMHO.

 

 

 

All languages that I am aware of have words for please and thank you. To not use them in dealing with your fellow humans is indeed rude and disrespectful.

[Beachdude]

All languages that I am aware of have words for please and thank you. To not use them in dealing with your fellow humans is indeed rude and disrespectful.

It would only be rude if they are part of the culture. I can think of many cultures where such words are not expected. Military for starters.

 

Burt

[Nadersmom]

Apparently I'm not the only person left in the world who returns carts to the store or the corral in the lot. Good to know.

 

(y)

[Blondilu]

All languages that I am aware of have words for please and thank you. To not use them in dealing with your fellow humans is indeed rude and disrespectful.

 

Well, I'm going to respectfully disagree, to a point, anyway. The phrases "Please" and "Thank You" are meaningless in and of themselves. And not saying them is not necessarily rude. Rather, it's the intent of the phrases. And very much the tone used. The gratitude implied must be real. If it's not, it shows. Have you never had someone tell you "thank you" when it was obvious what they meant was considerably less polite?

 

Personally, I respond better to something a little more....well, personal. A little friendly back and forth, maybe a smile, or a "how's your day going?", some manner or indication that we are all equals regardless of which side of the counter we are on. Words and phrases used out of habit or because some social contract says we must mean little to me.

 

However, those little phrases are valued by many and are especially useful when there is no other conversation, so it's my goal to try and be more thoughtful in this area. Probably why when I say "Thank you" and someone shouts out "No Problem" it makes me cringe.

[Beachdude]

However, those little phrases are valued by many and are especially useful when there is no other conversation, so it's my goal to try and be more thoughtful in this area. Probably why when I say "Thank you" and someone shouts out "No Problem" it makes me cringe.

 

Yes, this is a pet peeve of mine as well.

 

Burt

[sail7seas]

Of course being from Oklahoma, I'm never sure how to deal with that New Jersey family in the next cabin. Is that cultural?

 

Burt

 

 

Surely you dont' mean this as an example o f polite??? :evilsmile:

 

 

 

NJ has a large population. I suspect this could offend a few, Yes?

[slidergirl]

Well, I'm going to respectfully disagree, to a point, anyway. The phrases "Please" and "Thank You" are meaningless in and of themselves. And not saying them is not necessarily rude. Rather, it's the intent of the phrases. And very much the tone used. The gratitude implied must be real. If it's not, it shows. Have you never had someone tell you "thank you" when it was obvious what they meant was considerably less polite?

 

Personally, I respond better to something a little more....well, personal. A little friendly back and forth, maybe a smile, or a "how's your day going?", some manner or indication that we are all equals regardless of which side of the counter we are on. Words and phrases used out of habit or because some social contract says we must mean little to me.

 

However, those little phrases are valued by many and are especially useful when there is no other conversation, so it's my goal to try and be more thoughtful in this area. Probably why when I say "Thank you" and someone shouts out "No Problem" it makes me cringe.

 

Spend a little time on the other side. If you spend your time doing something for someone, even if it is your job, if people do nothing but walk away without a little acknowledgement (yes, that "thank you"), you would get the impression very quickly that people are rude and probably self-centered. I remember guests who do this. I don't go out of my way for them in any subsequent encounters. As for the less-than-sincere "Thank You": yes, we can tell. And we will give back the "you are welcome" with a smile. And, as soon as you leave, we all roll our eyes and say "what an as$." (my younger co-workers will say "douche-bag") :evilsmile:

 

Stayed at a very nice hotel in Konigsee, Germany, awhile back. Now, walking through the hallways of a hotel, I normally say nothing when passing someone. But, this place - everyone was saying "Guten Morgen" ("good morning"). I quickly learned to say this in the mornings in the hallways. I could have not done anything because it was just done without meaning, but it was the custom, so I adapted. Otherwise, I would have been the ugly American as$...

[slidergirl]

Yes, this is a pet peeve of mine as well.

 

Burt

 

Beachdude - "no problem" came from the beaches - remember the old signs at beachfront bars and cafes - "no shirt, no shoes, no problem." It just became part of our cultural language.

In Forbes training, "no problem" is one of the deadly speech sins. If you are caught saying "no problem" during a secret shop, it's an immediate failure.

Forbes brainwashes you quickly to say something else, like "you are welcome", "it is my pleasure." Yes, no contractions or fragments... But, I do cheat and say "my pleasure". I catch myself mindlessly saying that in everyday life - I'll say it to my grocery cashier and I'll start laughing...