Breakup on ship

[Magandsons]

2 days in the spa? 

[CARIBPRINCESS]

I had this exact same thing happen to me onboard a cruise ship many years ago. Luckily it was the last day of the cruise, and when I found out, against my better judgement I confronted him and he got really defensive and aggressive. I complained to the staff and security had him pack his things and leave the cabin for that night(the last night - don't know where they took him). I never saw him again, not even after the cruise was over, since we lived in different cities. It was devastating since I had paid for everything and he claimed to love me and so I totally understand what the OP is feeling. Hang in there, at least its almost over and I would take some of the posters' advice and keep busy, don't confront him on the ship, in case he gets aggressive, and ask the steward to separate the beds.

[vswan]

I would tell his new girlfriend that you are on a cruise with her new boyfriend. What a crappy thing to do, but if her is willing to cheat on you - even if he is not as serious as you are - why would he go with you on a vacation if he is seriously interested in someone else. He is not worth your time,

[FLcruisergrl]

11 hours ago, Ms02 said:

So I'm currently in the wonderful situation where I've found out my sorta boyfriend/cruise date and one of the people i trust the most has been seriously seeing someone else and not told me about it, so I'm trying to figure out what to do the last two days of this trip. I am heart broken, but i want to try and enjoy. Also he doesn't at the moment know that i know, I'm curious if he's planning on telling me. So any tips of how to keep myself busy on the ship away from him? I'm a bit tempted to ask guest relations if there is any chance of getting another room for the last two nights, but i have a feeling it's no point and that this situation is not their problem (which of course it isn't). Anyway i can't think clearly right now...

Go to the pool bar, have a few drinks, flirt with a cute guy and maybe the room situation will solve itself! 😂😉

[graphicguy]

Boy, do I really want to hear the other person’s side to this story…..!!!!!

[Trimone]

Why not have a threesome ?

[mjkacmom]

I remember being a sort of girlfriend to a guy I started dating after college, I found out he had a girlfriend 3 months after we started dating and I was thrilled. Right before we got together I had just broken up with a guy and had zero interest in getting into a relationship, so I was relieved we could keep things casual (he had also just graduated from college and was still technically with his college girlfriend). We’ve been married almost 27 years.

[MsTabbyKats]

8 hours ago, graphicguy said:

Boy, do I really want to hear the other person’s side to this story…..!!!!!

As a 72 year old woman who didn't get married until age 37 (20 years of dating experience) and with many friends, some to this day....all who have had the "sorta boyfriend experience"....I can tell you with confidence, his side:

 

She...I thought you loved me.  But you're seeing someone else!

He....I like you a lot, but we don't have a committment.  I'm not in a place to get serious now.  We're both free to see other people.  Hey, I like you enough to go on a trip with you and I don't want to end it with you.

She...You're right.  We don't have a committment but I don't like sharing you.  I'm willing to give it some more time until you choose.

 

(Note: OP has vanished)

[FreestyleNovice]

OP is on board Epic and in the middle of the Med right now, might be another 18-22 hours before we hear back after disembarking in Barcelona.

[All-ready2cruise]

40 minutes ago, MsTabbyKats said:

(Note: OP has vanished)

As @FreestyleNovice has stated, location not so good for posting comments, also, some good advice was given way back and maybe, just maybe, OP decided to take the advice and have a good time.  

 

One can hope....

[MichiganBound]

14 hours ago, CARIBPRINCESS said:

 ...don't confront him on the ship, in case he gets aggressive, and ask the steward to separate the beds.

This seems to have been the advice given by multiple posters as well.  I don't see how you can have the beds separated yet not discuss the issue with the boyfriend.  That's never gonna work.

 

I'm all for ripping off the band-aid and having the discussion now.  Don't put off till tomorrow what you can tackle today.  I personally couldn't go on a smiling happy act for two days pretending nothings wrong.  It sounds as if the relationship was fairly casual so it doesn't have to be a confrontational event.   If she does have concerns he could react aggressively or violence could occur, she can pre-alert staff that she and her boyfriend may be breaking up imminently and that they should come to the cabin and check on her in an hour...also, advise staff they may need a second cabin for the last two nights.

 

Look...only the OP knows the true nature of the relationship and how he might react if they have "the discussion".  We are all only speculating with our advice based on what we have been told.  I'm sure there are many aspects of this story that we don't know about.  

 

 

[graphicguy]

27 minutes ago, MsTabbyKats said:

As a 72 year old woman who didn't get married until age 37 (20 years of dating experience) and with many friends, some to this day....all who have had the "sorta boyfriend experience"....I can tell you with confidence, his side:

 

She...I thought you loved me.  But you're seeing someone else!

He....I like you a lot, but we don't have a committment.  I'm not in a place to get serious now.  We're both free to see other people.  Hey, I like you enough to go on a trip with you and I don't want to end it with you.

She...You're right.  We don't have a committment but I don't like sharing you.  I'm willing to give it some more time until you choose.

 

(Note: OP has vanished)

Bless you.  I know I’m a little gun shy myself after my marriage went sideways many years ago.  But, I’ve been with a wonderful woman the last 10 years and, aside from our shared love, we communicate, even when it’s hard to do so.

 

But, I shouldn’t be one who offers relationship advice.

 

I’m a guy…..a more mature (age-wise) male.  Have been through more than a few relationships over the years.  So, have had first hand experience with these scenarios, unfortunately. 

 

OP posted here, I’ll assume not looking for advice.  You break up, and happen to be on a cruise ship when it happens, is irrelevant.  You lick your wounds while on board. You disembark and go your separate ways after the cruise is over.  That’s what you do.

 

Hope I’m wrong.  But, I don’t think advice about what to do was the OP’s intent by posting to a public forum.

 

All we know is someone comes in here both barrels blazing claiming someone she’s cruising with told her (she somehow found out?) someone else had his affection.  She’s made it clear how she views the relationship.  We don’t know how he feels.  They happen to break up while on board a cruise (were they actually a “couple” to begin with?).  If he’s a “sorta” boyfriend, and as she claims, he knows how she feels, maybe she didn’t like the answer she got when professing her feelings for him.  Or she never knew how he felt or she ignored how he feels.  Not once has she relayed his response to the alleged break up.  Who broke up with whom?  

 

What was the tipping point?  

 

Did they plan this cruise far in advance as to not want to lose the fare if canceled?  Did he tell her he had met someone else and this was the last vestige of their “sorta” relationship?  Was it a one-sided relationship where she was committing to someone who didn’t feel the same way?  Did he try to tell her and she didn’t want to hear it?  Did she find love letters from someone else in his luggage?  Just because she is totally invested in him, did she just not know he wasn’t invested in her?  Sorta?

 

More to this than just “what do I do when there’s a break up on a cruise?”.

[beerman2]

32 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

Bless you.  I know I’m a little gun shy myself after my marriage went sideways many years ago.  But, I’ve been with a wonderful woman the last 10 years and, aside from our shared love, we communicate, even when it’s hard to do so.

 

But, I shouldn’t be one who offers relationship advice.

 

I’m a guy…..a more mature (age-wise) male.  Have been through more than a few relationships over the years.  So, have had first hand experience with these scenarios, unfortunately. 

 

OP posted here, I’ll assume not looking for advice.  You break up, and happen to be on a cruise ship when it happens, is irrelevant.  You lick your wounds while on board. You disembark and go your separate ways after the cruise is over.  That’s what you do.

 

Hope I’m wrong.  But, I don’t think advice about what to do was the OP’s intent by posting to a public forum.

 

All we know is someone comes in here both barrels blazing claiming someone she’s cruising with told her (she somehow found out?) someone else had his affection.  She’s made it clear how she views the relationship.  We don’t know how he feels.  They happen to break up while on board a cruise (were they actually a “couple” to begin with?).  If he’s a “sorta” boyfriend, and as she claims, he knows how she feels, maybe she didn’t like the answer she got when professing her feelings for him.  Or she never knew how he felt or she ignored how he feels.  Not once has she relayed his response to the alleged break up.  Who broke up with whom?  

 

What was the tipping point?  

 

Did they plan this cruise far in advance as to not want to lose the fare if canceled?  Did he tell her he had met someone else and this was the last vestige of their “sorta” relationship?  Was it a one-sided relationship where she was committing to someone who didn’t feel the same way?  Did he try to tell her and she didn’t want to hear it?  Did she find love letters from someone else in his luggage?  Just because she is totally invested in him, did she just not know he wasn’t invested in her?  Sorta?

 

More to this than just “what do I do when there’s a break up on a cruise?”.

As she stated in another thread 

Well we are 2 students with limited funds, etc. Seems like a cruise wasn’t the best idea as it is. There is a lot that makes one wonder.

As Paul Harvey used to say, And now for the rest of the story!

[MsTabbyKats]

@graphicguyDH and I had the most awful fight on a cruise about 6 years ago.  It was so bad I was thinking of leaving him and I vowed I'd never go anywhere with him again.  (Long story short...he thought we were tied at the hip...and my hip wanted to be in the casino.  His hip wanted to sit thru the same show again.)

Anyway, that was in Sept and that Oct I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  He's been the model husband ever since (I even got a blanket apology for everything he did wrong...which among other things was ruining my trips).  Before breast cancer it was like he was doing me a big favor to go on a cruise and "inside" was the way to go.  Now...he can't want to get back onboard and encourages me to upgrade to better cabins.

[graphicguy]

4 minutes ago, MsTabbyKats said:

@graphicguyDH and I had the most awful fight on a cruise about 6 years ago.  It was so bad I was thinking of leaving him and I vowed I'd never go anywhere with him again.  (Long story short...he thought we were tied at the hip...and my hip wanted to be in the casino.  His hip wanted to sit thru the same show again.)

Anyway, that was in Sept and that Oct I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  He's been the model husband ever since (I even got a blanket apology for everything he did wrong...which among other things was ruining my trips).  Before breast cancer it was like he was doing me a big favor to go on a cruise and "inside" was the way to go.  Now...he can't want to get back onboard and encourages me to upgrade to better cabins.

 

 

Congrats for fighting the hard fight, and winning!

 

You made me chuckle….

 

”…he thought we were tied at the hip…and my hip wanted to be in the casino”

 

Not often, but the GF and I have had our “moments”, too.  

 

“You wanna go?  GO!  You’re not a tree.  You can leave!”  Or….”I know you’re not having an affair because no one else would want you besides me.”

 

Then, we’ll harrumph and snort and eventually one or both of us will apologize, then it’s all lilacs and cooing!  LOL!

[Yesimapirate]

1 hour ago, mjkacmom said:

I remember being a sort of girlfriend to a guy I started dating after college, I found out he had a girlfriend 3 months after we started dating and I was thrilled. Right before we got together I had just broken up with a guy and had zero interest in getting into a relationship, so I was relieved we could keep things casual (he had also just graduated from college and was still technically with his college girlfriend). We’ve been married almost 27 years.

We're all thinking it so I'll just ask.... does he still have a gf?😁

[mjkacmom]

18 minutes ago, Yesimapirate said:

We're all thinking it so I'll just ask.... does he still have a gf?😁

I don’t think so, we have 5 kids so he never had a lot of free time! I’ve known him Sind middle school, he had a girlfriend all though high school, another all though college, when they graduated they were living an hour from each other, they eventually drifted apart. I found out about her because my friend at work was dating one of his best friends, and she learned they both had girlfriends (she was not happy about it, my husband’s friend eventually married the girlfriend he had at the time 28 years ago, we’re all good friends now).

[cruisequeen4ever]

Boy, if they are American, a Mediterranean cruise is not typically the itinerary students who are struggling financially would choose. That’s besides the point, though. My advice would be to enjoy the final time onboard with or without the sorta bf, whichever she wants. Then end things when they get back home. There’s no reason her special trip should be completely ruined by him. I hope she comes back to share the rest of the story. 

[GeezerCouple]

A few here have commented vaguely about personal safety, but if OP returns to this forum/thread, please DO think through whether you are 100% safe... might he "blow up" (immediately or delayed) if this comes out in the open?  And it might be difficult to keep it hidden, as you may already have noticed.

IF so, then PLEASE speak with someone in Guest Services or in Security.  This is NOT the first time they've had this happen, and I would assume that they have some sort of protocol to keep track of things, and reasonably discreetly.

 

The only positive I can think of is:  At least it didn't happen right at the start of your trip.

 

Good luck!

 

GC

[FreestyleNovice]

32 minutes ago, cruisequeen4ever said:

Boy, if they are American, a Mediterranean cruise is not typically the itinerary students who are struggling financially would choose. 

 

Depends, they could be expat kids, exchange students living here or military family stationed in Europe although I get your point. A cheap inside on the Epic on one of her forever Med cruises can be a good deal, air fare on a low cost carrier to Barcelona won't break the bank too.

 

But who knows, let's hear from the OP. Local time is some 10/11PM now, Epic will dock in the early morning so OP will be curb side in 10-12 hours from now on.

[All-ready2cruise]

6 hours ago, GeezerCouple said:

At least it didn't happen right at the start of your trip.

or after they were already married....

[Old Fart Cruisers]

This sounds like an episode of “THE LOVE BOAT”. By the time they disembark they would be telling Gopher, Isaac, Julie and Doc to watch the mail for the invitations to their wedding, and they will be back next time for their honeymoon cruise.😉

[graphicguy]

Flip side of this, if she decides she didn’t like being rejected, and she goes ballistic, that would certainly get security’s attention.  For the most part, I find ship board security to be a humorless bunch.

[Ms02]

Woah this was an emotional return to the forum after getting off the ship and home again. Now i feel like i owe everyone the whole story, but I'll try to keep it short. 

More background: we have been dating for 1,5 years, but not officially in a relationship because it's a big commitment in his culture (Latino), and we have been long distance for about 8 months of this. But we have had many talks about being exclusive sexually, and that we would talk to each other and be completely open if we met anyone else. We also love each other, though i was probably a bit more in love than we was. We're also best friends at this point. He lives in Barcelona and I'm pretty good at saving and being wise with money (I'd rather not go out or shopping for a few months to rather go on vacation). We were able to get this trip for very cheap and booked a month ago.

 

(Sorry this might be getting a big soap opera-like, but hopefully you enjoy it)

We had a good beginning of the ship, but i was starting to notice something a big off. I also noticed that he was getting a lot of messages from a girl that he has not told me anything about, and he has always told me about the girls he meets (on his own initiative). So when he was at the gym i did a really bad thing (i know!), and snooped on his phone. It was then obvious at least party what had happened from just looking at a couple of messages.

 

I decided to ask him, because it was clear i could not act like nothing had happened. And i was never afraid of him hurting me (other than the heartbreak and feeling emotionally like i was run over by a truck).

It was something that had just started the week before, but had gotten a bit serious quite quickly (he can be very loveable), and he did not know how to tell me, and in the end he decided to wait until after the cruise, so avoid it affecting my experience there. And he was indeed mostly focused on me during the cruise. Anyway i lost all my trust in him, and most of the romantic feelings. But we were both hurting and alone in the middle of the ocean, so we spend the day talking some and comforting each other. I needed to just hurt a bit, couldn't Imagine going out ok the ship, Even going to dinner was tough and i had no appetite.

In the end i decided i love him to much to completely leave him and lose him, and his feelings for me hasn't changed. He says he found this girl very interesting, and he's been very confused about his feelings for me for long. We decided for now to keep the friendship, though with a little less trust from me. What happens in the future no one knows. We enjoyed the last day at sea, I'm just looking at him a bit differently. But for now I'm comfortable with how we are. Luckily we did not need to get anyone on the cruise line involved, so I'm now help for future heart breaks, just that to talk about it is probably smart. I've felt like crap today though (very hungover, not the best for getting up early and flying all day), wasn't even able to enjoy the final breakfast.

 

Hope this telenovela has been interesting for the boards, and i really enjoyed a lot of your replies, and even had some laughs. Thanks everyone, and feel free to ask more if you want. 

[FreestyleNovice]

It sure beats a tipping thread!  Safe travels home!