Questions for solo cruisers

[cruising sister]

Some of us may be shy and more introverted and it takes more time to warm up to others. My two sons were polar opposites. One made friends at the grocery store the other was shy but once he made one it was for life. As a mom I learned what worked well for each. So there is no one answer and I have enjoyed reading all of the advice. I personally  am an introverted extrovert who enjoys company but am slow to engage. There are times I like being alone and other times I want company. I will embrace this new adventure and see how it goes. 

[singleflyer]

22 minutes ago, DCThunder said:

As a veteran solo cruiser, I'm not sure why you would WANT to eat by yourself.  Ask the hostess for a shared table in the MDR.  Most of the time, you'll be seated FASTER than if you wanted a two-top to yourself.  You will meet a lot of new people.  Some you'll enjoy talking to, others you might not, but even with the bores or know-it-alls, you only need to put up with them for 60-90 minutes, and who knows you might meet some new friends or cruise long acquaintances.

 

If some night you absolutely want to be alone at dinner, go to Lido or ask for the single table, no one on the ship will give a flying you know what about what you do.

 

Some people, myself included, don't always want to make small talk and meet new people. 

[Roz]

23 minutes ago, DCThunder said:

Ask the hostess for a shared table in the MDR.  Most of the time, you'll be seated FASTER than if you wanted a two-top to yourself.  You will meet a lot of new people.  Some you'll enjoy talking to, others you might not, but even with the bores or know-it-alls, you only need to put up with them for 60-90 minutes, and who knows you might meet some new friends or cruise long acquaintances.

 

There are bores and know-it-alls on HAL?  Shocking....😁

[DCThunder]

Just now, Roz said:

 

There are bores and know-it-alls on HAL?  Shocking....😁

I can think of at least one...😉

[DCThunder]

Just now, singleflyer said:

 

Some people, myself included, don't always want to make small talk and meet new people. 

That's fine, I'm that way too.  But those are the times to get the single table.

 

Anyway, enjoy yourself no matter which way you go.

[Roz]

One of the joys of solo cruising, or solo travel in general, is the ability to be with other people if that's what you want or spend time alone.  I do both depending on my mood or how tired I am.  

 

For instance, on my most recent cruise, I was really busy on the last day.  I didn't feel up to getting ready for dinner and then spending 1-2 hrs. in the DR, so I had a burger and fries at the Dive In with another solo passenger I had met previously.  We both grew up in Pittsburgh and laughed that we went thru 8 ramekins of ketchup between the 2 of us. 🤣

[Destiny0315]

Were they Farley Fries? 🤣

https://youtu.be/T

 

[ClippyJoe]

Many times I enjoy eating alone.There is so much noise today that quiet times are to be savored. On my last cruise I met several people traveling alone.(There was a quilting group on board) The ships are so large that I would never question any one alone. I would simply think they just were eating or seeing a show solo because that's what they preferred. My husband had a work schedule that did not always synchronize with mine so I did many things solo. Being raised by a widowed mother with help from my widowed grandmother made this the norm for me in many ways. Simply enjoy your cruise !

[highscar]

Well said. 

[cruising sister]

I am back to report on my first solo cruise. It ended up being a great cruise.  I am glad I was active on the roll call and met up with 2 great couples for a before the cruise for a walking tour and dinner.  It gave me instant friends.

 

I am not going to lie and say it was all great.  There were times I was a bit lonely but I pushed myself to go out and at least walk around the ship.  Doing that I met another really nice couple who sat in loungers up on deck 10 right as I exit my hall.  CO helped a lot.  I ate alone for the first few days until I saw another solo diner who ate about the same time I did and asked if she would like to join me.  We ended up eating several meals together.  There were times I wanted to eat alone and did so with no problems. I felt specialty dining as solo was hit or miss.  They seemed to give me a less desirable table and rushed me through.

 

I did a mixture of private and HAL excursions. I felt safe on both.  My cabin steward always checked up on me if he did not see me get back on the ship.  He was great.

 

I will not hesitate to cruise alone again.  I really feel this helped me move forward even though I would have preferred to have cruised with my DH I know he was there with me in spirit.,

[BermudaBound2014]

33 minutes ago, cruising sister said:

I am back to report on my first solo cruise. It ended up being a great cruise.  I am glad I was active on the roll call and met up with 2 great couples for a before the cruise for a walking tour and dinner.  It gave me instant friends.

 

I am not going to lie and say it was all great.  There were times I was a bit lonely but I pushed myself to go out and at least walk around the ship.  Doing that I met another really nice couple who sat in loungers up on deck 10 right as I exit my hall.  CO helped a lot.  I ate alone for the first few days until I saw another solo diner who ate about the same time I did and asked if she would like to join me.  We ended up eating several meals together.  There were times I wanted to eat alone and did so with no problems. I felt specialty dining as solo was hit or miss.  They seemed to give me a less desirable table and rushed me through.

 

I did a mixture of private and HAL excursions. I felt safe on both.  My cabin steward always checked up on me if he did not see me get back on the ship.  He was great.

 

I will not hesitate to cruise alone again.  I really feel this helped me move forward even though I would have preferred to have cruised with my DH I know he was there with me in spirit.,

 

I'm so glad you enjoyed cruiseing solo. 

 

I'm retired, my DH is not.  I cruise solo often because he just doesn't take the time away from his business.

 

He likes to work, I like to cruise :). 

[seaoma]

I followed your trip thread and it did seem like you were having a great cruise.  I'm glad you gave it a try and I'm sure your husband would be proud of you.

 

Every solo trip you do will build more comfort and confidence.

 

I must say, I'm a little dismayed by your treatment in the specialty restaurants. I haven't eaten solo in one on HAL but now I will be a little hesitant.

 

I did eat solo in restaurants on my Disney cruises. I've always felt very welcomed and received extra attention. In fact, the first time, I received a small plate of the most special things they had on the menu, in addition to what I had ordered, and even the remains of a bottle of champagne someone had opened that they explained they would rather I enjoy than recork. After all this attention, I had to laugh when at the end of my meal, my waiter asked If I worked for Disney. 😄

 

Thanks for coming back to this thread and posting an update. You just might have given someone else contemplating a solo trip the courage they needed.

Edited June 5, 2023 by seaoma

[3rdGenCunarder]

Well done! The first "big" solo thing, like this cruise, can be life-affirming. Yes, you CAN do it! And it sounds like you will cruise again, so that's a good thing. 

 

Yes, you will continue to have "moments." Five years, and I still do, but I try to see them as remembering, not mourning. I agree, go out, walk around, take a deep breath and keep going. 

[wdw1972]

9 hours ago, seaoma said:

I must say, I'm a little dismayed by your treatment in the specialty restaurants. I haven't eaten solo in one on HAL but now I will be a little hesitant.

 

Most of my solo dining in HAL specialty restaurants was years ago and I never experienced what the OP experienced.  In March of this year my travel buddy was under the weather so I ate at Rudi's solo (on Nieuw Statendam).  I was given a great table, had excellent service, and it was no different from other Rudi's meals I've shared with other people.  

 

While I'm not saying the OP was wrong or inaccurate, I'm saying don't be scared off by someone else's report.  If you're led to a crappy table as a solo, simply say no to that table and ask for your desired location.  Once seated, service should be the same whether your 1, 2, 3, 4 or more and you shouldn't expect any less.

 

Sue/WDW1972

[cruising sister]

4 minutes ago, wdw1972 said:

Most of my solo dining in HAL specialty restaurants was years ago and I never experienced what the OP experienced.  In March of this year my travel buddy was under the weather so I ate at Rudi's solo (on Nieuw Statendam).  I was given a great table, had excellent service, and it was no different from other Rudi's meals I've shared with other people.  

 

While I'm not saying the OP was wrong or inaccurate, I'm saying don't be scared off by someone else's report.  If you're led to a crappy table as a solo, simply say no to that table and ask for your desired location.  Once seated, service should be the same whether your 1, 2, 3, 4 or more and you shouldn't expect any less.

 

Sue/WDW1972

I am the op and I am glad you had a good experience. I was 3 for 3 for bad table. I said no on the 3rd one and was abruptly sat and had lightening fast service. 5 couples came on after me and were not offered the less desirable table. I did write it up while on the cruise on the Navigator app and expressed my dissatisfaction. The maitre d in club orange came and apologized for the specialty restaurant as I said not to contact me on the app. I just wanted them to know about it to make corrections. It’s nice to know they read your comments 

[RuthC]

I've had a lot of solo dinners in specialty restaurants on many HAL ships. Frequently the waitstaff has gone out of their way to make sure I felt welcomed and comfortable. I will say that dining alone I was out much sooner than I am when I dine with several others, but that is also the nature of dining alone. Even smaller tables in the main dining room are finished sooner than tables for 6 or 8. 

This has not happened every time, but I have never felt rushed, either. 
The OP's experience is not the norm, in my experience. Go, and enjoy for yourself with balanced expectations. 

[Destiny0315]

A new article with solo cruising tips...

https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidnikel/2023/07/13/cruising-solo-5-tips-for-solo-cruise-travelers/

[DCThunder]

25 minutes ago, Destiny0315 said:

A new article with solo cruising tips...

https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidnikel/2023/07/13/cruising-solo-5-tips-for-solo-cruise-travelers/

Kind of Meh tips, IMHO.

[Destiny0315]

5 minutes ago, DCThunder said:

Kind of Meh tips, IMHO.

I agree, nothing that any experienced solo cruiser wouldn't likely know already, but good info for anyone who is new to the solo cruising experience.

[DCThunder]

Just now, Destiny0315 said:

I agree, nothing that any experienced solo cruiser wouldn't likely know already, but good info for anyone who is new to the solo cruising experience.

I'd tend to agree.  Booking your first solo cruise is sort of scary so I'd guess these sorts of tips help alleviate anxiety.  However, I'm not sure the one on avoiding single supplements by cruising from different ports is really all that true.

[kazu]

On 6/5/2023 at 9:22 PM, cruising sister said:

I am the op and I am glad you had a good experience. I was 3 for 3 for bad table. I said no on the 3rd one and was abruptly sat and had lightening fast service. 5 couples came on after me and were not offered the less desirable table. I did write it up while on the cruise on the Navigator app and expressed my dissatisfaction. The maitre d in club orange came and apologized for the specialty restaurant as I said not to contact me on the app. I just wanted them to know about it to make corrections. It’s nice to know they read your comments 

 

I was only one for one as my other specialty dining was thankfully with other friends.  But it was at Sel de Mer (my favourite) and I thought it would be a good idea for the 5 days on my own.

 

HUGE mistake.  Ignored.  Fish left so long I wouldn’t feed it to my dog.  (Not that I give my dog fish 😉). Inedible.  By then it was too late and I didn’t want them to make me another entree and sit for 2 hours more.
 

the Chef came out and apologized and I told him I shouldn’t have listened and ordered my Dover Sole.  He promised to send me on to club orange.  I’m still waiting 😂 

 

 

On 6/5/2023 at 9:47 PM, RuthC said:

I've had a lot of solo dinners in specialty restaurants on many HAL ships. Frequently the waitstaff has gone out of their way to make sure I felt welcomed and comfortable. I will say that dining alone I was out much sooner than I am when I dine with several others, but that is also the nature of dining alone. Even smaller tables in the main dining room are finished sooner than tables for 6 or 8. 

This has not happened every time, but I have never felt rushed, either. 
The OP's experience is not the norm, in my experience. Go, and enjoy for yourself with balanced expectations. 

 

I don’t often disagree with you Ruth but I do on the OP’s experience.   Like hers, mine was horrible.  So bad, that I have made a point to make sure I have someone to dine with on my next cruise that I enjoy.  

I never ate alone in the MDR as I had Club Orange.  Now, there - I was treated well when I dined alone and not ignored.  Very well.  In the one specialty I did it was a disaster.

 

 

2 hours ago, DCThunder said:

Kind of Meh tips, IMHO.

 

Very.  My biggest tip would be to join your roll call.  You will get to kind of “know” some people and meet them at the sail away or meet and greet and recognize them on the ship.  they may even have some activities that will get you involved and get to know people better.

 

 

2 hours ago, DCThunder said:

I'd tend to agree.  Booking your first solo cruise is sort of scary so I'd guess these sorts of tips help alleviate anxiety.  However, I'm not sure the one on avoiding single supplements by cruising from different ports is really all that true.

 

Your first solo cruise is intimidating but I book for itinerary.  If there are discounts for solo travellers, it’s nice - but I book to see what I want and to go where I want.  I’m sure I am not alone and agree on your point.

 

To be honest, I am still a bit nervous about my next one. 😉 

[RuthC]

1 hour ago, kazu said:

I don’t often disagree with you Ruth but I do on the OP’s experience.   Like hers, mine was horrible.  So bad, that I have made a point to make sure I have someone to dine with on my next cruise that I enjoy.  

I'm not disagreeing with yours, or the OP's experiences. Merely attesting to mine. Over many years, when dining alone at a specialty restaurant, I have never felt that I was treated poorly. 

That experience needs to be acknowledged for those who are contemplating sailing, and dining, solo. 

[JesterWA]

I'm new to this forum, but wanted to jump in as it was losing my husband that led to my first cruise! My husband died under very sudden and difficult circumstances, at only 34 years old, and there was a lot of family and legal stuff to deal with. Around six months after his passing I was completely burnt out and felt like I was drowning under grief and all that other "stuff" I felt completely ill-equipped to deal with. I wanted to get away from all that and give myself some space to actually deal with my feelings. My husband and I had always done a lot of independent travel, so I'm quite confident with that style, but I wanted a setting where all I had to focus on was me. I saw an excellent last minute deal to Alaska and jumped on it. One of the best decisions I made during that time.

 

Sometimes it was really hard, I would be on deck looking at the most incredible scenery and feeling happy again, then sometimes it would hit me that he should be here experiencing it too. And how can the world be so beautiful and so damn unfair at the same time. Being on a cruise gave me an easy space to have those feelings – I had a clean, quiet cabin with a lovely view that I could just be alone in and think, cry, sleep, read, whatever I needed. And even better, I didn't have to make these decisions in advance - emotions and energy levels can be so up and down in the early days, and I was glad that I wasn't locked in to a travel style that might not always suit where I was at on any particular day. I had some days where I joined activities and walked the promenade and made small talk at afternoon tea, and some days where I just sat on my balcony and cried. 

 

I also found cruising perfect for “little victories” in adjusting to life on my own. Little things like going to the cafe and sitting in to have my coffee, which I would never have done solo previously. On the cruise, all I had to do was push myself to order and sit and enjoy the coffee, and within minutes I could be back in my cabin congratulating myself and recovering from the effort!

 

I did a mix of ship excursions, private excursions, and just walking around port. I enjoyed all of these, and had different but positive social interactions with all. One of my favourites was hiring a private driver who I ended up getting along really well with. After the tour, we picked up her dogs and took them to the pub for a cuddle and a drink. It was a highlight of my trip! I’m reasonably confident in my ability to manage things solo and I have done more independent activities on subsequent cruises, but I did appreciate the ease of an excursion (ship or private) where I was met at the port for that first solo cruise.

 

The recurring thing here – making things easy! Just focusing on my feelings and looking after myself was what I needed, and the cruise was a perfect environment for that. It gets said a lot that your loved one would want you to keep living life to the fullest. I know this is well-intentioned, but I must admit I found it really grating in the first few months. However, there is some truth to it and for myself, there is also a feeling that I am lucky to still be here when he is not, and I shouldn’t waste that.

 

So the tldr here - I think a cruise is the perfect balance between getting out there and looking after yourself after such a devastating loss. There is no single "right time" to do something like this but I would certainly add to others' comments that it is a worthwhile thing to do.

 

And now for my solo cruise question - I will be on my first cruise with HAL next year. I have never shared a table at dinner before, partly because I have a small appetite and some food quirks, but I'm thinking of pushing myself this time! I assume that when sharing a table, orders are taken once everyone is seated and most people order three courses? If I'm trying to time dinner around a performance, how long should I allow for a shared dinner? I'm typically in and out in 45 minutes on my own but certainly don't expect that with a group! Thanks. 

 

Edit - I'm on any time dining, so I assume asking for a shared table would just be luck of the draw for how many people and how long it takes to fill the table? Would I be left waiting for ages to order if nobody else wanted to share?!

Edited July 14, 2023 by JesterWA

[kazu]

10 minutes ago, RuthC said:

I'm not disagreeing with yours, or the OP's experiences. Merely attesting to mine. Over many years, when dining alone at a specialty restaurant, I have never felt that I was treated poorly. 

That experience needs to be acknowledged for those who are contemplating sailing, and dining, solo. 

 

Completely acknowledged Ruth.

I think this is a Pinnacle Class ship issue.  @cruising sister

and I were on 2 different ones and she and I are not the only ones to experience it from feedback I received.  
 

Most of my sailings before that were on the Vista class, Prinsendam & old Rotterdam and solos were treated well there.  I was solo on the Oosterdam and treated so well I couldn’t pass out tips fast enough.  They were amazing.  My negative experience only relates to the Koningsdam, not the other classes in the fleet.  

 

I wasn’t solo then but I saw how they were treated and a couple often joined our table happily.

 

 

[kazu]

7 minutes ago, JesterWA said:

I'm new to this forum, but wanted to jump in as it was losing my husband that led to my first cruise! My husband died under very sudden and difficult circumstances, at only 34 years old, and there was a lot of family and legal stuff to deal with. Around six months after his passing I was completely burnt out and felt like I was drowning under grief and all that other "stuff" I felt completely ill-equipped to deal with. I wanted to get away from all that and give myself some space to actually deal with my feelings. My husband and I had always done a lot of independent travel, so I'm quite confident with that style, but I wanted a setting where all I had to focus on was me. I saw an excellent last minute deal to Alaska and jumped on it. One of the best decisions I made during that time.

 

Sometimes it was really hard, I would be on deck looking at the most incredible scenery and feeling happy again, then sometimes it would hit me that he should be here experiencing it too. And how can the world be so beautiful and so damn unfair at the same time. Being on a cruise gave me an easy space to have those feelings – I had a clean, quiet cabin with a lovely view that I could just be alone in and think, cry, sleep, read, whatever I needed. And even better, I didn't have to make these decisions in advance - emotions and energy levels can be so up and down in the early days, and I was glad that I wasn't locked in to a travel style that might not always suit where I was at on any particular day. I had some days where I joined activities and walked the promenade and made small talk at afternoon tea, and some days where I just sat on my balcony and cried. 

 

I also found cruising perfect for “little victories” in adjusting to life on my own. Little things like going to the cafe and sitting in to have my coffee, which I would never have done solo previously. On the cruise, all I had to do was push myself to order and sit and enjoy the coffee, and within minutes I could be back in my cabin congratulating myself and recovering from the effort!

 

I did a mix of ship excursions, private excursions, and just walking around port. I enjoyed all of these, and had different but positive social interactions with all. One of my favourites was hiring a private driver who I ended up getting along really well with. After the tour, we picked up her dogs and took them to the pub for a cuddle and a drink. It was a highlight of my trip! I’m reasonably confident in my ability to manage things solo and I have done more independent activities on subsequent cruises, but I did appreciate the ease of an excursion (ship or private) where I was met at the port for that first solo cruise.

 

The recurring thing here – making things easy! Just focusing on my feelings and looking after myself was what I needed, and the cruise was a perfect environment for that. It gets said a lot that your loved one would want you to keep living life to the fullest. I know this is well-intentioned, but I must admit I found it really grating in the first few months. However, there is some truth to it and for myself, there is also a feeling that I am lucky to still be here when he is not, and I shouldn’t waste that.

 

So the tldr here - I think a cruise is the perfect balance between getting out there and looking after yourself after such a devastating loss. There is no single "right time" to do something like this but I would certainly add to others' comments that it is a worthwhile thing to do.

 

And now for my solo cruise question - I will be on my first cruise with HAL next year. I have never shared a table at dinner before, partly because I have a small appetite and some food quirks, but I'm thinking of pushing myself this time! I assume that when sharing a table, orders are taken once everyone is seated and most people order three courses? If I'm trying to time dinner around a performance, how long should I allow for a shared dinner? I'm typically in and out in 45 minutes on my own but certainly don't expect that with a group! Thanks. 

 

You have a great attitude.  I admire you.

 

Now to your question - yes if you do a shared table you traditionally wait until everyone arrives to order.  But sadly, some people don’t have the courtesy to say they are not coming or doing specialty dining.  

 

Keep that in mind and if the time limit is up tell the waiter the rest of you will order.  

 

I would stick to a table of 6 as it is faster than a table of 8 or if you know someone through your roll call and are comfortable a table of 4.

The smaller the table, the faster the service but a slightly larger table gives you more different people.

 

For a table of 6, I would allow 1.5 hours.  But you will be chatting in between 😃 

 

It really depends on your table mates on what they order.  Most order 3 IME but there are those that order less and those that order more.

The other option is to book a two top with the two tops close to you so you can chat (if you both wish).

 

Remember if you share a table and find you are just not simpatico, you can ask to change tables.  Do it on the first night.