HAL Sailer

@Heartgrove Thanks for your response last night (now closed to comment).

"Late at night posting I used "invoice" twice. The first time I meant to use "MSRP." Sorry for the confusion.

- Jack"

Now I understand your very helpful purchase process strategy. Thanks.

-Melisa

2 hours ago, Heartgrove said:

...his offer was 8.5% below invoice which is 2% under invoice

@Heartgrove since our next vehicle purchase will fall totally on my shoulders (as DH is no longer able to handle business transactions), I am trying to understand the sales manager's offer being both "8.5% below" invoice and "2% under" invoice. Can you help me understand what that means, please?

Thanks, in advance,

-Melisa

6 hours ago, bennybear said:

RMLincolnalways appreciate your gentle and kind posts!  

+1

13 hours ago, RMLincoln said:

HAL Sailer Melissa, thank you for your heartfelt sharing. I’m so glad you felt loved and celebrated on your special day!  Gentle hugs to you!  

Than you for acknowledging my sharing @RMLincoln but I fear it may seem self-absorbed as many here have lost their spouse or significant other.

I am blessed to still have my DH even though he now has very few memories of our life together, no memories of our extensive travels, and whatever 'Melisa' was to him is quickly disappearing from his memory banks. Photos that used to remind are now met with blank looks.

It's an inevitable stage in his disease's progression. It's a stage I thought I was prepared for, but my forgotten birthday proved otherwise. 

Yesterday's celebratory greetings got me through yesterday and provided emotional sustenance for the days to come. Thank you all -- for listening and for caring,

-Melisa

14 hours ago, ger_77 said:

@HAL Sailera belated Happy Birthday to you for yesterday - I'm sorry I didn't get back in time to wish you greetings on the day.

Thank you, @ger_77, for thinking of me. Your wishes extend the joy of yesterday!

-M.

1 hour ago, luvteaching said:

He got a puzzled look, thought for a minute and then said "umpteen". I just grinned...

Oh, yes, like you I know that feeling and those needed grins.

My DH, when asked my first name, now often ignores the asker's request and responds, "I prefer to call her Mrs (surname)."  I grin and, when given the opportunity, I whisper "Melisa."

Dealing with dementia is a learning curve and it gives me opportunities to learn daily,

-M.

@JazzyV Thank you for starting out the multitude of birthday greetings I received today! (I'm still unsure how you knew. Maybe you are psychic?)

Thanks, also to:

@ottahand7

@kazu

@puppycanducruise

@StLouisCruisers

@rafinmd

@Crazy For Cats

@cat shepard

@smitty34877

@Denise T@grapau27@RMLincoln

@Seasick Sailor

@dfish

@marshhawk

@Quartzsite Cruiser

@erewhon

@Haljo1935

@luvteaching

@Cruzin Terri 

(And anyone else I inadvertently missed...)

Your 🎂messages🎂 wrapped me in your care as I struggled with the first year my beloved DH's memory forgot.

As @luvteaching conveyed (in post #93), it's hard to predict what will be remembered and what won't.

Today he didn't; tomorrow he might.

But, because of you, my day was very special! Very special indeed!

💗Thanks,💗

-Melisa 

Daily-ites-

Oh, my goodness, HOW DID YOU KNOW? 

I just now started reading The Fleet Report and Daily to find so many birthday wishes! I haven't even gotten to the second or third or how many pages there are to acknowledge you all.

You have brought tears to my eyes as DH hasn't remembered and likely won't.  (Just one of the curses of dementia...) And, my only living sibling seems to have forgotten, too. (Odd, as he usually remembers...)

I truly don't know how you knew, but Thank You each and everyone! 

And, after I fix our dinner I promise to catch up with the whole thread.

With tears and full of joy,

(But still puzzled how you knew...)

-Melisa

Finally some upbeat news from me!

DH's right hip-heel pain has been greatly alleviated by the epidural injection he had a few weeks ago. His right foot fall hasn't improved but, with that leg's pain relieved and a right foot brace, he is more able to use his walker.

With his right side stabilized, DH's pain doctor has recommended a gel type injection into his left knee. An eons ago ski injury and arthritis gives DH extreme bone on bone pain that his left knee brace only partially relieves. The injection was set for February but a cancellation put him on tomorrow's schedule!

And, in the final bit of upbeat news, it appears I have found the fix for our washer. It had been stalling mid-cycle not filling or spinning properly. Before I called repair, I found a report on-line that our model's electronics can get confused. It suggested unplugging the washer for 20 minutes to let its brain reset. What the heck? I figured it was worth a try. And, the washer is now working like brand new!

Thanks for your continued prayers. My 🙏prayers for🙏 and 🎉celebrations with🎉 you continue.

So glad I finally have some upbeat news to share,

-Melisa

20 hours ago, bennybear said:

@HAL Sailer I am so saddened by your news, but hoping you can both enjoy some more good times.     Sending hugs!  

20 hours ago, cat shepard said:

 

Melissa, praying 2024 is good to you. 

20 hours ago, aliaschief said:

Nice hearing from you.🙏

20 hours ago, kazu said:

 

Oh gee, Terry - I sure hope you are ok 🙏. This time of year is so tricky.

 

 

 

Brrr - that is too cold - risky for man and beast.  I won’t walk my dogs in that even with coats.

 

 

 

Thank you for updating us, Melissa.  So sorry for the difficulties you are going through.  My prayers remain with you 🙏. And bless you for helping your DH stay in his home as long as possible ♥️ 

 

 

Power went out a while ago.  Thankfully, my generator is running 👍 

18 hours ago, dfish said:

 

Melissa, thank you for letting us know what is happening with you.  You have a heavy burden and if our caring and virtual hugs help with the lift of that burden, I am glad.  We all think of you often and know we are here if you need someone to listen.

 

 Oh, no!  What next?

 

We got another upsell offer for Hawaii.  This time it was $249 pp to go from ocean view to balcony, so we took it.  Of course, that meant I had to order some wine to sip out on my balcony!  It is a spa balcony, but I'm not sure the amenities are of any use to us.  

 

18 hours ago, ocean sounds said:

Sending you the biggest Hug.  Praying 🙏🏻 that the days ahead keep you healthy and strong to help you through this challenge.  Savor every day with your DH.  And just take it a day at a time. And stop in when you need reassurance.  Remember we are all sending prayers and hugs.

 

take care

17 hours ago, puppycanducruise said:

@HAL Sailer Thanks for the update.  Sending virtual hugs.

17 hours ago, Quartzsite Cruiser said:

 

Beautiful house plants, Brenda.  Stay safe and warm.

 

 

Melisa, thank you for letting us know what has been happening.  I wish there was more that we could, but glad that knowing we are here and willing to help plus keeping you and your DH in our thoughts helps you.  ((((((HUGS))))))

 

 

Bruce, congratulations on the new cruise for next year.  It sounds like you are having a wonderful cruise.

 

 

Debbie, congratulations on a great upsell offer.  You'll enjoy the balcony.

 

Lenda

16 hours ago, RMLincoln said:

@HAL Sailer Thanks for stopping in to update us. You are right where you are supposed to be!  One day at a time is Everything!  Hoping you have a good day today.  
Maureen  

16 hours ago, quilty964 said:

Happy Wednesday!  The meal sounds good today, haven't been to the port, i made chocolate chip cookies yesterday with semi sweet chips.  As for house plants, I took some clippings from my basil plant and started them inside, they're growing, but not very fast.  

@kazuhope you heal quickly, and your arm doesn't hurt too bad.  Good thing you have a generator.  People in our area did also lost power last night.  Your map of Canada weather doesn't look fun!

@HAL SailerPrayers that 2024 is better for you.

 

We had about 3 inches of snow yesterday, with lots of wind.  Many branches down this morning.  More snow over the next few days, maybe 10 inches total...not looking forward to that!  Thanks for all of the caring and sharing here.  Karen

 

 

16 hours ago, grapau27 said:

+1 @HAL Sailer

15 hours ago, StLouisCruisers said:

Melisa, @HAL Sailer thank you for checking in to let us know.  We send you lots of hugs and many prayers!

12 hours ago, dobiemom said:

@kazu Jacqui Yikes on the fall but I’m glad you’re “OK.” And that you have a generator and it works. 😉

 

@HAL Sailer Melisa {{{{HUGS}}}}

 

Busy day today. It’s a good thing I looked at my work email last night.  I was asked to bring in donuts this morning for the all staff meeting with the BIG boss. I think it was a good visit. I had to leave after lunch to babysit (I do this every week) so I missed the close out meeting. I’m sure I’ll hear how it went soon. 

 

I hope everyone stays warm and safe in all the storms. 

11 hours ago, marshhawk said:

DH and I worked this afternoon, and because the weather is supposed to get bad again, I suggested that we have dinner out tonight.  When we got home DH noticed that the boot room aka laundry room had flooded.  I told him I noticed that the water from 5 inches of rain and the wind, had actually watered the front wall garden up to a foot from the house, usually it will only get wet before it gets to the eves.

So if it wasnt all the rain water coming into the house, we really do need that washer and dryer.  Guess we will see with the next round of wetness.

 

@StLouisCruisersI dont think we will get off as easy as we did yesterday.  Be prepared!  Georgians, Floridians, and North and South Carolinians.  I've got bologna and tuna.  We're good, but we will need firewood.

 

I think that Bubbles, while he still looks like heck, is feeling better, as he is indicating he wants off the porch.  Not going to happen for a couple more days.  He has gone blind in his right eye, turns out he was bit there too.  But he looks at least 75 percent better than 4 days ago.  Smells better too.  He is not just walking infection.

 

When I went to walk the dog this morning, I looked out on the car port, and a cute little stray was munching away.  And then from our neighbors yard, I noticed the fox, in broad daylight come streaking down the hill, and down the driveway.  I waited a few minutes, and then walked the dog.  Dog and fox dont play well together. I have been told from Donna's early morning walks.

 

@HAL SailerYou are often in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that perhaps you can get some help come in and make some free time for you.  I know that almost sounds guilty, but you need to be your best, and as my husbands docs have told me, when he needs me.  My guilty pleasure is watching Midsumer Murders, two hours of being entertained helps me immensely.I dont get nails done, or pedicures or haircuts very often (maybe once every three years) I dont go shopping, or have lunch with friends, but I do have John Nettles to take away the duldrums.

 

 

 

A picture for a moment of peace-

10 hours ago, ottahand7 said:

@HAL Sailer I appreciate your heart rending message and Melissa I will pray for you and your DH as you bear through this.  You know we are all here backing you up.  

 

@kochleffel Ditto on your tour.  Our 4.5 hour tour left at 9:00 and returned at 2:15.  At least we got our money's worth.

Thank you, all. (And, also anyone I inadvertently missed.)

Your heartfelt messages surround and support me.

-Melisa 

Dear Daily-ites,

I am remiss in not updating you sooner but it has been a crazy last few months. And, in December, I knew I needed -- plus I also wanted you --  to focus on holiday joys. 

So, here's my post-holiday update:

The very end of September, my DH developed congestive heart failure and went into Afib plus suffered a heart attack just as we reached Emergency. Thank heavens I called our hospital's ASK A NURSE when his distress worsened as DH wanted to “...call the doctor tomorrow.”

It was touch-and-go for a number of days, but he rallied enough to be discharged to rehabilitation and came home in late October. DH’s schedule of medical tests and doctor’s appointments have occupied our days since.

We continue in outpatient physical therapy plus at-home exercises to strengthen DH with the goal of keeping him in our home as long as DH’s medical needs and increasing dementia allow. As many of you know, that is a day-to-day balancing act.

I think of all of you often. I read The Daily as life allows. Admittedly, I often read of your joys and sorrows much later than you have posted them. But, I pray for you and I celebrate with you -- albeit often belatedly.

A BHB voyage is not in the picture for us. But, I continue to dream of the day that I will cruise again. In the meantime, your daily destination posts and pictures plus the various BHB cruise threads take me to far-flung places! Thanks for all of your interesting posts. 

Thank you also for the many prayers you have offered and continue to offer for us. I promise to drop in to The Daily from time to time. And, I look forward to the day I can meet you each in-person on a BHB.

Happy 2024 to you all,

-Melisa 

1 hour ago, ocean sounds said:

I wish there was a way to send a hug through the Daily to you. 
 

You did -- by your message. I felt your hug as dearly as all the hugs Daily-ites have sent our way this year. Thanks!

-Melisa 

🎄Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate!🎄

🎉And, Happy New Year (a bit early) to all!🎉

I've been reading The Daily as DH's medical issues allow as that's been one step forward and two steps back.

With help, we did get to Candlelight Communion last evening. It was lovely. And, I shed a few tears knowing next year will likely be very different...

My thanks for all the well wishes we have received this year.  And, I send to you my prayers for your cares and joys for your celebrations.

May you each have a joyful end to 2023 and a wonderful start to 2024,

-Melisa

Thanks all for keeping my DH in your prayers and on the Daily rotational care list.

Today, we had a consultation with an informative, patient, thorough and, oh, so young pain management doctor who specializes in spinal issues. We were very impressed with his detailed understanding of DH's recent hospitalization and medical challenges as he had reviewed DH's extensive medical records in preparation.

After examining DH, he agreed with the neurosurgeon that spinal surgery is not a wise risk/benefit option. He does think an epidural injection could ease DH's spinal nerve inflammation, right hip-heel pain, and loss of sensation in his right foot. He feels an injection plus continued P.T. could be a very helpful combination. So, DH has agreed to an early December injection.

Otherwise, DH is showing more spirit and trying to be more independent. Walking is almost impossible, but he tries! So, we continue going twice a week to physical therapy sessions plus doing PT homework while watching his alma mater Michigan State football team lose and cheering on our Detroit Lions during their amazing season!

As Thanksgiving approaches, we have much to be thankful for – including our wonderful past BHB cruises (future???) and in the knowledge that we continue to be in the Daily-ites’ prayer and care.

May you each be equally blessed,

-Melisa

@rafinmd Were you there?

Bon Voyage, @rafinmd!

Have a great cruise.

Thanks, Daily-ites, for your ongoing messages of support. With DH's various health challenges, I think I will soon qualify for an honorary degree in medical case management!

However, I am trying to find time for myself each day... (and the following memory is one of those 'me moments')

During WWII, while in Northern Ireland, my late father stood on the Giants Causeway. I haven't been there yet but, in 2017, I was able to stand on the opposite end where it rises on the tiny island of Staffa, Scotland. I stood there, looked toward the memory of my father, and added Northern Ireland to my bucket list. 

-Melisa

Staffa, Scotland

9 hours ago, luvteaching said:

First part: The best advice I was given when I was going through this with my DH was be sure to do something for yourself every day.

 

Second part: We have to take care of ourselves or we're no good to the one we're caring for.

@luvteaching Thank you. I've been telling myself your second part but I haven't put your first part into action. And, focusing on what you said made me realize that without doing the first, the second is only a grand concept.

Thanks for causing me to think,

-Melisa

10 minutes ago, dfish said:

Our view from breakfast this morning.

 

@dfish Last night's and this morning's pictures look like A-Ga-Ming. But beautiful wherever...

Enjoy being UpNorth!

-M.

Dearest Daily-ites, 

I apologize for not updating sooner. 

It's been a long 3 ½ weeks with my DH in the hospital and then inpatient rehab. You all know what those long days sitting bedside are like and rehab wasn't much easier. I was asked to work with him at rehab during OT & PT plus he wanted me back each night for Visiting Hours.

DH finally got home Thursday. It is going to be a challenge. His heart is damaged; his lungs are still recovering. He is weak, a bit depressed, and his usual determination is undercut by his newly deepened dementia. 

We were both exhausted last night after his first full day home.

Yesterday morning I fixed our bed after one box spring support rail somehow worked off its tracks in the middle of Thursday night -- CRASH! BANG! damn!

(That's the first time I've lifted our Queen mattress + springs by myself. I was amazed to find the strength, but invisible forces were helping me.)

After that, we had a gentleman's spa day -- I cut DH's hair, trimmed his beard, clipped his nails, and helped him get his first at-home shower using his new shower chair. 

In between, I managed to fix breakfast and lunch. Then it was off to outpatient PT where DH's longtime therapist is continuing what inpatient started. 

All before dinnertime...Whew! 

Last night I realized that I'll need to pace myself better than yesterday…or neither one of us will survive. It's going to be a journey – unfortunately not one on a BHB.

Your care and prayer has surrounded us daily. With deep gratitude,

-Melisa 

Daily-ites -

October 1 begins DH's fourth day in the hospital. We are far from coming home. 

I was hopeful Friday that DH's stay might be short as there were some slight signs of improvement. 

Yesterday was a vicious cycle of his infections causing fever, his fever making his recently damaged heart beat faster, and his heart beating too fast raising the risk of life-altering outcomes.

Today has been filled with tests hoping to pinpoint the causes of what DH's doctors term his "complex medical condition".

Daily-ites, your kind words of comfort and prayer surround us both. Please know that I am profoundly thankful even though my overwhelmed mind hasn't acknowledged you individually.

I am grateful beyond words,

-Melisa 

Daily-ites, 

I haven't caught up with the past three days and will try to read them later. But wanted you to know my DH has been hospitalized with outcomes uncertain.

He didn't feel well Monday, started coughing Tuesday, and by Wednesday he was gasping for breath with increasing temperature and chest wheezing & rattling plus pain. He was taken to Emergency.

At ER, he was whisked into a room already filled with doctors & nurses as triage recorded a life-threatening 154bpm heart rate. His heart was in A-Fibrillation. His temperature had reached 103°F. DH was COVID negative but had pneumonia plus he was unable to maintain proper oxygen saturation.

He was admitted to our highly regarded multi-floor Heart Unit. DH's longtime Cardiologist and a locally beloved PCP turned Hospitalist are treating him. He is getting great care. But, these new medical issues plus his recently increasing leg weakness and multiple falls (despite ongoing physical therapy) make his future situation uncertain. When he is able to leave the hospital, a rehab is likely, but his overall debilitation puts a return home in question.

I'm doing okay. I'm remaining hopeful but realistic. Prayers would be appreciated,

-Melisa 

@cruising sister 🙏Prayers for comfort and guidance for Baby Murphy's family. May you all be surrounded by love.🙏

-Melisa 

Thank you ALL for yesterday's supportive messages and birthday wishes for my DH. I so appreciate your care and he enjoyed hearing Happy Birthday! so many times.

And, thank you @JazzyV for including my DH on the Rotation List. That's perfect as his maladies are likely with us for the long-term.

As DH's new normal begins to take on some shape and we develop new routines, I hope to contribute here more often. 

I'll take a first step in that direction by congratulating @rafinmd on his decision to move forward with his Cunard/Crystal cruise. I marvel at the travel combinations he has put together over the years. I think of him as Trains, Planes, Ships Roy and I aspire to someday be as creative! @rafinmd Enjoy your cruise countdown and when you do head off, please travel safely, be well – and enjoy!

-Melisa