Preventing disappointment/problems for cruise mates

[ollienbertsmum]

We are cruising with my BIL & SIL in January. We are seasoned cruisers, and they have never cruised before. When we asked them if they wanted to join us, we knew they weren't detail people. Little did we know just how deep that ran. They are NOT planners (she couldn't even tell someone at Christmas what cruise line we were sailing), so everything that is a MUST do has fallen on me. They seem to think it makes my life easier just to say, "we'll do whatever you want to do." Sigh. The good news is that they will generally be quite happy just to relax in the sun. I've sent them the link on the NCL page about preparing for their cruise. Not sure if they'll actually read it.

 

 

I don't want to make this all my responsibility, but they will do zero research and I want them to have a decent time (that will make my vacation more enjoyable once there!). Are there things that were a rude-awakening for you on a cruise, or did your inexperienced companions freak out about something?

 

Edited to add we are cruising on the Escape (we've been on it) to Grand Cayman, Falmouth, Nassau, and GSC, if that matters (it's our first time to CG & Falmouth).

 

This was my situation 10 years ago when two families joined up and went to the Baltic. We had a great time and my SIL still laughs that before the cruise she had no idea what countries she was going to - and probably still does not know.

 

I recall that before we booked I tried to discuss the choice of cruise lines with my BIL. He told me "go on whatever, they are all the same". Errrmmmm, no they are not!!

 

They chose an inside and we had a balcony. I recall that my SIL was a little upset at her stateroom at first, but soon was perfectly happy. We were on RCI and I was surprised that on the formal night SIL had worked out how to get to the hairdressers - and I seem to recall someone in the party got a massage. I never helped them research that.

 

I was the one who did the research for the mini-van to the port, I sorted out flight tickets and I booked the two-day tour of St Petersburg. The topic came upover Christmas lunch and they reminded me that they all hated the food on the tour!! They wanted me to do the research, and one of the details was not perfect. I had saved everyone a ton of money by taking us on the two-day tour. I don't think they realized how much. Did I care? No, not really.

 

What I am trying to say is that there will be unexpected hiccups, and they might grumble a bit, but try not to let it upset you, overall you will have a good time. They probably do want to do what you want to do because if you have never been on a cruise before, you don't know what it is that you have to plan for.

 

I hope that like our family, in ten years time you too will still be able to recall this cruise with a smile.

[Peachypooh]

Once when we went to Nassau the group I was with wanted to go to Atlantis. Since it is a huge expense to get the tickets that include everything I actually paid for everyone to go!! I priced it out and getting the tickets via the cruiseline was easily over $1,000 I bought tickets through a day pass company and paid for the taxi. It saved me hundreds. One of the people we cruised with didn't know I heard her but she was complaining that the line wouldn't have been so long at the box office if I had just bought the cruiseline shore ex!!! Technically that is true but how about the wait time to load and unload a big bus. Needless to say that is the last time I cruised with her (my choice).

 

The reason I am mentioning this is that sometimes being the planner can lead to hurt feelings unless everyone is on the same page.

[helen haywood]

And this applies for flying to any land destination as well as cruises, suggest they cross pack in case one bag is delayed or lost.

 

 

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[CruiseGal999]

Don't know if you are the "sun-worshipper" types or not, but I have been on many cruises and the only consistent thing I am bothered by is the "chair hogs". Let your friends know that it may be difficult to get prime seating during sea days. I have seen fights erupt from people who think they can throw a towel over the back of a chair at 6 am, then return at 11 and expect the chairs to be empty. I wish the cruise lines could find a better way to monitor this practice. I know they post informal rules, but in my experience they are not enforced.

 

I have experience exactly that. On an Alaskan cruise where it rained all week until Friday ... clear and sunny and EVERYONE was out on deck. There was a woman on a lounger, there were 6 empty loungers and a guy at the end. My husband grabbed 2 of the empty loungers and put them in a spot and we sat down. The two people got mad ... yelled at us, we did NOT say a word, just read our books. Suddenly there was staff there asking us what happened. DH, who is 6ft 4" explained and the couple still had 4 empties they were holding. Staff called 2 more staff over, removed the empty chairs and offered me and DH free drinks. This was NCL in 2012.

[Itzmyn]

We're doing the Bliss(first time on Norwegian) with Hubby's two sisters and their husbands, who have never been on a cruise. We're having a little get-together to go over all the important stuff, and I've made up a bon voyage bag with little incidentals that we've found helpful on our previous cruises. Having never sailed Norwegian before, all the info I'm finding on this site has been very helpful.

 

Fortunately, one of his sisters and BIL are planners. You can only do so much to ensure they have a good time, the rest is up to them. Have a great cruise!

[Doug R.]

Haha. No.

The joke is that everyone is with Tom's Tours. I just try to give ideas. They can follow, or do their own thing.

 

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I remember a thread years ago from an "ultra planner" who had every second of the cruise planned for her husband and teen daughters. She was upset that the plan fell apart early the second day when the girls found like aged teens to hang with and hubby rebelled after the second day. She moaned that all her hard work was wasted. The feedback was not altogether kind, told her to be a a little more spontaneous the next time.

[DMH15]

I remember a thread years ago from an "ultra planner" who had every second of the cruise planned for her husband and teen daughters. She was upset that the plan fell apart early the second day when the girls found like aged teens to hang with and hubby rebelled after the second day. She moaned that all her hard work was wasted. The feedback was not altogether kind, told her to be a a little more spontaneous the next time.

 

 

 

I do not like to overplan where every minute is spoken for. I plan "must do's" and fill in the blanks with spontaneous choices.

 

Even with planning things change. On our last Epic cruise they switched rhe Priscilla days and times and our day on GSC was cut short when the captain called it early.

 

And after our cruise we laughed because we never made it to see the Beatles band.

 

 

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[Zeno]

The truth is you cannot prevent people from being disappointed with any vacation - so much depends on THEIR expectations and personalities. The very best you can do (and it appears that you have done this) is to prepare them for what the experience will be like and things like what additional costs there will be (like the DSR, like specialty dining). I would not waste a lot of time worrying about what is totally out of your control (their reactions to the experience). They may have a great time. They may not. Ultimately it's up to them not you.

[punkinlr]

I read through the thread to make sure this wasn't already mentioned and it wasn't, so...

 

Make sure they have the proper documentation in order to get on the ship (passport or birth certificate)!

 

Good luck. I'm also the planner in my group. Don't worry too much about their expectations/reactions. They have to take some responsibility as well. And remember that is also YOUR vacation!

 

I have been responsible for years for most of our cruises. We have been blessed with one marvelous couple (SatchiesMom) share or at least split the responsibilities for at least research for most cruises. All others - I'm the travel agent of their choice :'). Most of the time I don't mind, But since we've cruised quite a bit most of the islands we've visited many, many times I don't know what they want to do, nor do DH and I want to do most of the planned excursions.

 

I've not all the postings, but if someone hasn't mentioned it: Tell them to bring a lot of $1.oo bills. For tipping porters, room service folks, and if you get a great bar server - it's amazing how quickly you get service if you tip them a buck or two in cash that doesn't have to be shared in the tip pool.

 

The other thing I'd share is that old adage: take half the clothes you had planned on taking, and take twice the amount of money you think you'll need ;p

[punkinlr]

And this applies for flying to any land destination as well as cruises, suggest they cross pack in case one bag is delayed or lost.

 

 

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We do this as well. If we are staying at a hotel pre-cruise, I usually pack our jammies, a small toiletry bag and the clothes we want to embark wearing. This prevents me from having to dig through everything to find what we need for just one night without have to disrupt the bigger suit cases.

[Barb Nahoumi]

The day before departure, remind them to place their documents in their carry-on or purse for handy extraction at check in.

Also, to put their meds in the carry-on, in case they need them before the luggage arrives.

 

We pack a days change of clothes in the carry-on for any "Just-in-case," that might happen.

 

DH and I usually cruise with other couples, but do our own thing a lot. We don't always take the same excursions, but we always meet for dinner, and talk about the fun we had.

 

We don't book excursions ahead, but wait until we are aboard. It always works out for all of us, and we have a wonderful cruise.

[fran99999]

I would ask them " So how is your planning going? Let me know whe we can compare."

[grandmarnnurse]

We are traveling our next cruise with our daughter and her family on the Getaway in 7 days. We booked this cruise LAST January, and her hubby has asked me countless times, “where are we going”!! Really?? We discussed this how many times. I just sent him videos of our port stops. Again. My daughter is a seasoned cruiser (with us), so I’m sure even SHE has discussed this with him. I just don’t get it. She is responsible for the packing and getting him there, thank goodness. I just couldn’t deal with that.

 

 

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[DonTheRadioGuy]

I was thinking about letting my brother tag along on my May cruise. Not after reading this. He's exactly like this.

[Seawoff]

I am sorry you are in this position, your heart was in the right place to invite them along.

 

but now it is sink or swim time. they are adults and you can only hope they will have a good time.

 

1 check early that they have the proper dos. which include pass ports and boarding passes. Name on the pass port, boarding docs and air line must agree with your ID It takes a while to get a passport so start early.

 

2. Help them understand the rule about suit case size and weight as well as prohibited items. you don't want any surprises at the airport.

 

3. advise them the difference in packing checked luggage verses carry on and personal items an 3-1-1 rules.

 

4. Advise them to Always keep their meds, valuables and money as well as docs and passport with them in carry on -plus a change of cloths.

 

5 once you have managed to get them safely there and on board hopefully they will start fending for them selves.

 

6. advise them that sail away time and "be back on board" are two different concepts. when they say be back on board at xx time they mean it. they will not hold the ship if you are late returning to the ship.

 

7. I am the worst mother hen and I want everyone to have a good time however you need to draw the line somewhere and let the chips fall where they may, hope your trip is a joy and your time together is Blessed

Edited January 2, 2018 by Seawoff
finish

[KeithJenner]

Although we all know there are no formal nights on NCL, there most definitely is a dress code in the dining rooms. Make sure they aren't expecting to wear shorts to dinner!

 

 

 

They could tell them that, but all things considered it’s probably better to give correct information.

 

Tell them that there is a dress code, which allows shorts to be worn to dinner in the majority of venues.

 

 

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[grandmarnnurse]

Although we all know there are no formal nights on NCL, there most definitely is a dress code in the dining rooms. Make sure they aren't expecting to wear shorts to dinner!

Sorry, but you are wrong! We chose NCL for the very reason that you CAN dress more casual in the MDRs! I no longer pack my hubby’s suit! And although he may wear a pair of khakis on some evenings, he has worn his shorts, also, as do countless men. The only place that a dressier code is suggested is to the specialties, especially the French restaurant. We were SO over formal nights!

[Flatbush Flyer]

We are cruising with my BIL & SIL in January. We are seasoned cruisers, and they have never cruised before. When we asked them if they wanted to join us, we knew they weren't detail people. Little did we know just how deep that ran. They are NOT planners (she couldn't even tell someone at Christmas what cruise line we were sailing), so everything that is a MUST do has fallen on me. They seem to think it makes my life easier just to say, "we'll do whatever you want to do." Sigh. The good news is that they will generally be quite happy just to relax in the sun. I've sent them the link on the NCL page about preparing for their cruise. Not sure if they'll actually read it.

 

I've taken care of the following:

-Booked FLL to hotel transportation

-Specialty restaurant reservations for all four of us

-Booked one excursion

-Given them some general advice on what to expect re: boarding, their specialty dining and beverage packages.

 

I didn't think to tell them details about internet, and that came up this weekend. They were surprised (and a tiny bit put out) they'd have to pay for access. What else is important to tell them in order to manage their expectations?

 

I don't want to make this all my responsibility, but they will do zero research and I want them to have a decent time (that will make my vacation more enjoyable once there!). Are there things that were a rude-awakening for you on a cruise, or did your inexperienced companions freak out about something?

 

Edited to add we are cruising on the Escape (we've been on it) to Grand Cayman, Falmouth, Nassau, and GSC, if that matters (it's our first time to CG & Falmouth).

 

 

 

You've already made it "all your responsibility."

Now all you need is a mantra: "But I gave you the information." After you've responded to them with your mantra approx 4-5 times, they'll back off.

 

 

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[uneamie]

I would show them the daily ship Dallies ( activity schedules). I would suggest they look them over each day and pick out things they might like to do. Perhaps add to that....that you can all meet back for lunch or dinner. You may have to throw a few hints in there.....like, "oh we are just going to hang out on our balcony, you guys go do what you want."

[weltek]

The other thing I'd share is that old adage: take half the clothes you had planned on taking, and take twice the amount of money you think you'll need ;p

 

Heck, I tell myself this every cruise and still can't follow it! I've given her some advice on packing (two swimsuits, fewer dressy clothes and shoes than your impulses indicate), but it's taken me eight cruises to make minimal progress in this area. I'm pretty proud that I edited down from seven shoes to four while packing this weekend! :-)

[weltek]

 

6. advise them that sail away time and "be back on board" are two different concepts. when they say be back on board at xx time they mean it. they will not hold the ship if you are late returning to the ship.

 

Oh gosh, I need to do this one! If anyone is going to miss the ship, it would be them. And I'll remind them that taxis can't necessarily get anywhere fast on some islands because it's rush hour and there's only one main road.

[weltek]

I about fell off my chair (with surprise and joy) this weekend when SIL posted in our cruise Facebook group (there's another couple going with us who have cruised before). It's the first time in over a year she's posted there. They aren't big Facebook users. I said I was starting to pack and she said, "I thought I was doing good with starting on my laundry pile in the closet. I need to get to my dirty summer clothes that are at the bottom of that pile." She's serious. I've seen the closet.

[Love Blue]

Sorry, but you are wrong! We chose NCL for the very reason that you CAN dress more casual in the MDRs! I no longer pack my hubby’s suit! And although he may wear a pair of khakis on some evenings, he has worn his shorts, also, as do countless men. The only place that a dressier code is suggested is to the specialties, especially the French restaurant. We were SO over formal nights!

 

Enforcement of the "no shorts" in the MDR may vary. In the nicer MDR on the Sun in 2015, a male passenger was reminded of the rule, politely asked whether he had long pants that he could change into and was asked to change and return to join his party. On the other hand, on the Jewel out of Houston in 2014, it was more casual. My husband packs a pair of khaki pants just in case.

[boscobeans]

We have over the years introduced a few people to cruising and aside from telling them that they can usually do as little or as much as they want to do, the following bits have always been made well known in advance:

 

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You will be on a ship that is sailing in for the most part ON AN OCEAN where Mother Nature rules. (THERE MAY BE WAVES) Meclizine or whatever..

 

On the high seas SAFETY is number one. Any change in schedules or ports will be made with passenger safety in mind.

 

Explain what IS included, what is NOT included and what IS expected. (COMPLIMENTARY vs SPECIALTY-GRATUITIES-SPA-DRINKS-EXCURSIONS.etc.)

 

The cans and can't do's when it comes to DUTY FREE purchases on and off the ship.

 

Explain how the Sea Pass cards work and how they will be billed.

 

And of course the SMOKING POLICY of the particular ship you will be sailing.

 

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Hope the newbies have a great time, ours always have in the past.:)

 

bosco