Change in "dining culture" on cruise ships!

[hueyjudy]

On 7/14/2022 at 1:10 PM, cruisemom42 said:

 

Boy, parents today have a mighty tough time of it. Either we are ignoring our children completely, leading to a generation of feral children (and feral adults in the making)...OR we are accused of being "helicopter parents" constantly hovering around our kids and fending off all the challenges and disappointments that should be theirs to face in order to grow up as well-adjusted individuals.

 

If only it was as easy for us to get it perfect like all past generations have done. 🙄

We don't have children by choice, but I can certainly empathize with today's parents trying to do it right.  Stay strong!!

[hueyjudy]

23 hours ago, Mike981 said:

 

Good advice truly, but...

I have been wearing hearing aids for 20+ years  (started when I was 30) and recently spent $6,000 on a pair. As much as they help, certain situations just don't work. When in a loud environment, the aids try to pick out certain sound that 'they feel' are the human  voice. It is unable to know what 'voice' you are wanting to hear, so they often increase all frequencies that fit the human voice. And it is like being in a car full of people talking loudly and the radio also playing loudly. You  just can't make out enough to have a decent conversation.

Thank you for this first-person explanation.  I've heard this over and over since my slight hearing loss started years ago.  People proudly say their new hearing aids are great, but after awhile they admit to issues exactly as you describe. Ambient noise is my only problem, unless the speaker is a child or a woman.  Those higher-pitched voices are always a challenge, but I just ask them to enunciate more carefully and I hear most of it.   I think it's the high cost of the hearing aids that make people 'like them no matter what'.  Why Medicare doesn't cover hearing aids is totally beyond me.  Deafness is incredibly isolating and seniors don't need any help being isolated, it's already a problem.   

[lenquixote66]

On 7/13/2022 at 12:31 PM, Hlitner said:

Thought I would start what I think is a fascinating topic.  When we started cruising back in the 70s, nearly all ships had only Fixed Seatings with assigned tables.  The norm, in those days, were larger tables with most being for 6, 8 or even 10 with a scattering of 4 tops.  2 tops were quite rare.  Most cruisers looked forward to that first evening's dinner when they would meet their tablemates and hopefully develop some new friendships.  In those years we made many wonderful friends (some are still friends) at dinner tables and the conversations were usually interesting and fun.  My parents did go on ships (they called them "Liners") back in the 50s and 60s.  As was the practice in those days they did not take the children (i.e. me).  When they would return from their trips, I can remember all the conversations we had about their table mates (many of whom became long term friends). 

 

Now, let's move forward to current times (and leave COVID out of the mix).  Most folks no longer like to share tables with strangers.   2 tops are now quite popular with some of those folks posting that they do not like to socialize with strangers.  Others have posted (over the past few years) that they have no clue how to even have a conversation with strangers (i.e. "what do we talk about?").  So what has happened?  Some social scientists talk about a change in culture due to texting and e-mails where many have not developed conversational skills.  When I was a kid, our entire family (5) would sit down to dinner at 6pm nearly every night.  We always at together as a family, talked about our day, our friends, etc.  Nearly all my friends did the same in their homes.  Today, many families no longer get together for dinner as a family (we have seen this in our own family).  Busy schedules and perhaps more of a self-centered attitude have ended the routine "family dinner" for many families.  We know one family that feel blessed because they can still get together one evening a week!  These days that is an accomplishment.  And even when families do manage to sit down together it is likely that one or more will be distracted by texting, somebody might be watching a video, etc.

 

DW and I still love to share large tables.  But we are now the exception.  Since we generally do open sittings (on high end lines everything is open sitting) we simply tell the host we would like to share a large table.  Since we no longer do fixed dining, this means we meet different folks at most dinners.  On our long cruises we will often develop friendships during the first few dinners and often start to form our own tables or meet our new friends for pre-dinner cocktails and later go to the MSr as a group.  But again, we are surprised that this has become somewhat rare.  In fact, many tell us they eat so early (often by 5:30) they do not have time to socialize before dinner!  Wow.

 

Times have certainly changed.  What do you think?

 

Hank

Our first cruise was in 1973 on a Cunard ship.We had a table that seated 4.

The couple that we were seated with were about 50 years older that us.We had interesting conversations.

We did not cruise on a regular basis until we were both retired.That was in 2008 .We made friends on every cruise we have been on since.

We have booked cruises with these people and are in contact with all via phone and or e-mail.

[cruiseny4life]

2 hours ago, ldubs said:

Maybe they read cruise critic and think they don't want to be stuck with those people at a dinner table! 😀😀😀

Best thing I've read all day, thank you for the laugh! I'm pretty positive a few CCers would count me as one they don't want to be stuck with...They're safe! I'd always choose the 2 top.

6 hours ago, cruisemom42 said:

 

 

I agree that there are valid reasons for passengers not wanting to share a table. Certainly being introverted to the point where conversing with others is not enjoyable, or not being able to hear a conversation are great examples of that.

 

But I also feel, based on conversations with others while cruising, that there are a number of people on the spectrum between "I wouldn't cruise without being able to share a table" and "I wouldn't cruise if I have to share a table."

 

There are those who are curious about it but have never shared a table and feel unsure about trying it. There are those who might share a table occasionally if they knew it was just for a night or two at their choice.  I've heard over and over from passengers on cruises "Oh, I didn't know you could do that!"  (Talking about choosing to share a table during anytime dining.)

 

To those people, I would recommend giving it a try. I am not the most extroverted person in the world. I don't "hold forth" at conversations. But I travel solo and I like sharing a table -- as I said before -- on most nights, at my choice. For those of you who are solid introverts but travel as a couple, remember that you might feel differently if traveling alone. Probably all but the most staunch introverts would rather not sit alone or with a Kindle every night by choice.

 

 

Except that I might consider dining with you for an evening - I appreciate the quotes from 2,000 years ago, the places you've traveled, and your stories...dont worry, I'm not nearly as annoying in person. I'm a keyboard warrior and an introvert in person.

[rkacruiser]

23 hours ago, Mike981 said:

all of the horror stories I hear from current and past teachers.

 

Teaching is a very rewarding career.  What one feels when a student "finally catches on" to what you have been trying to teach the youngster is priceless.  The profession is like any other job.  There are the "highs" and the "lows".  If one remains in one community as I did, those "highs" and "lows" regarding one's students and the parents whom we encounter are cyclic, just like history.  One year, I would have some classes "from hell" with parents that matched.  The next year, totally different.  Patience, believing in what one is doing is what one is called to do, thorough preparation of one's lessons with a solid academic background in what one is teaching, and a willingness of try to understand and successfully work with others should lead to a successful teaching career.  I wish your Son much luck as he prepares for an education career.  

 

 

[Z0nker]

On 7/13/2022 at 9:36 AM, cruiseryyc said:

One of the many reasons I no longer cruise!  

And yet, here you are on a forum dedicated to cruising. May I ask why? Not judging, just curious. 

Edited July 16, 2022 by Z0nker

[Z0nker]

We’ve had mixed experiences sharing tables. My best memories were at larger tables, where the odds of hitting it with at least one couple are better. 

[navybankerteacher]

2 hours ago, Z0nker said:

And yet, here you are on a forum dedicated to cruising. May I ask why? Not judging, just curious. 

It’s good to see a someone really thinking about a post in crafting his response to it.

[JeffroK]

We are not regular Restuarant goers any more, and have slowly lost our social contacts. On our Princes cruise (pre covid) we chose Anytime Dining and on arrival were seated at a table of 8-10, IMVHO too many as 3-4 conversations could take place at the same time and my hearing is getting dodgy. We had a great time but basically it was for one time only.

Except, I never say where I live, but name the closest main town so we were talking and one couple says they are from Sydney, my answer is I am from Geelong. He replies, Oh, I went to Geelong Grammar my Father was Principal of a small Primary School nearby. Where was that my wife asks, Lara Lake Primary is the reply, he was Principal in 1968-69.

My wife then replies, your Father was Mr ......, Yes is the reply.

We had a get together a bit later and he and my wife compared notes over happenings 50 years previously.

 

Other nights we went to the Dining room and got 2 seaters, ate at some Specialty diners and at the Buffet.

 

All of this is what you make of it, suits some and not others.

[Mary229]

We were young when we started cruising and tended to sail in the off season. Since there were so few young people we were always tabled with other young people usually a small family.  We did not have children nor did we want to have that experience and always had the awkward issue of changing tables.  Soon I simply requested a table for two at dinner. 
 

Now we do enjoy breakfast and lunch in the dining room with a shared table but continue our old habit of two for dinner.  We are very early morning people and by the dinner hour arrives we are waning quickly.  We do occasionally invite people for dinner or are invited ourselves.  I enjoy those dinners, they are by choice and require no commitment with people who have already tested their compatibility.  
 

I know you don’t want to discuss the big C but I sense there is a change that may remain permanent and may have consequences.  That is I have noticed far fewer people dining in the MDR opting for the buffet and other casual dining options. I sure hope they don’t start limiting Main Dining Rooms. 

[cruisemom42]

1 hour ago, Mary229 said:

We are very early morning people and by the dinner hour arrives we are waning quickly.

 

I am the exact opposite. I do not want to hold a conversation with anyone in the morning until around 9:00 am at the earliest and only then if I've onboarded sufficient caffeine. 😁

[navybankerteacher]

1 hour ago, Mary229 said:

...
 

...  We are very early morning people and by the dinner hour arrives we are waning quickly.  

...

We have sought to find the best of both worlds:   enjoying the start of a fresh day while still lingering to enjoy what the evening brings.    The part we find disposable is the nap time -- an hour or so anywhere between late morning and late afternoon -- which allows us to fully enjoy both ends of the day.

[Mary229]

Just now, navybankerteacher said:

We have sought to find the best of both worlds:   enjoying the start of a fresh day while still lingering to enjoy what the evening brings.    The part we find disposable is the nap time -- an hour or so anywhere between late morning and late afternoon -- which allows us to fully enjoy both ends of the day.

On sea days I do the same but I am an avid wanderer so port days are busy with no time for naps.   I am a recent retiree I am sure my style will change over time 

[CruisingGrandmaW]

On 7/15/2022 at 12:44 PM, rkacruiser said:

 

Thanks for your post because it confirms what I have had others tell me.  One reason why I have not made that investment and because my hearing, while not perfect, remains good enough to carry on a conversation as long as others don't speak too softly.  

@rkacruiser  Re: Hearing aids.  First & upmost importance of wearing hearing aids --- did you know it's all part of our cognitive thinking process?  My Audiologist is the one who educated me on this.  You can look up on the internet for information.  Also, I purchased my "Kirkland Brand" hearing aids from Costco - Apprx price $1700.  They are adjustable via a program you downloand onto your Cell Phone.  (You do not need internet connection to use it)  You can then adjust your hearing aids to eliminate "party noise" which is helpful when in noisy rooms such as crowded restaurants.  You can also limit how far of a range you want your hearing distance to expand to; along with the perimeter of hearing.  (For example limit so I can only hear the person just across from me.)  I also like to use the adjustment -- so I can only hear those talking behind be.  It's nice to hear what people are saying about you behind your back.  LOL.

 

[happy cruzer]

By social skills, some mean basic manners like introductions, avoiding "hot" topics, and tolerance.  Generally if we join a group anywhere, if introductions are done, then we have a group that mingles and talks.  So some of those old traditional customs make a difference.  But times and norms do change.  Just have to adapt as well.

[PurpleHays]

On 7/17/2022 at 11:04 AM, cruisemom42 said:

 

I am the exact opposite. I do not want to hold a conversation with anyone in the morning until around 9:00 am at the earliest and only then if I've onboarded sufficient caffeine. 😁

Hello my sister from another mister! I'm the same--to the point that my coworkers will look at the clock and say "I'm not talking to you--it's not after 9am yet". It's very much a running joke at my expense. Then, there are the people that think they can turn me into a morning person--I try not to talk to them until after lunch. 😆

[DirtyDawg]

On 7/15/2022 at 3:22 PM, Mike981 said:

 

Good advice truly, but...

I have been wearing hearing aids for 20+ years  (started when I was 30) and recently spent $6,000 on a pair. As much as they help, certain situations just don't work. When in a loud environment, the aids try to pick out certain sound that 'they feel' are the human  voice. It is unable to know what 'voice' you are wanting to hear, so they often increase all frequencies that fit the human voice. And it is like being in a car full of people talking loudly and the radio also playing loudly. You  just can't make out enough to have a decent conversation.

I just got a pair of hearing aids late last year. Mine have a setting that filters out background noises in a crowded situations and I can hear quite clearly to a conversation. But the best feature is that they have Bluetooth built in so if I'm ever in a situation where I just want to tune out the conversation,  like when my socialist SIL goes on and on and on about her latest crusade against capitalists like me,  I can play my Spotify music  🎶 and leave her wondering why I'm grooving while she drones on and on and on.  

[Sancho_proudfoot]

We very much enjoy the 'around the table ' conversations with folk we've never met before.  Usually, we have very pleasant  people, who are happy to sit and chat ( sometimes  lingering to the point that the wait staff are hinting we should move!)

 

Only once had an unpleasant table mate ( and, coincidentally,  she lived about 10 miles from us!)

 

DW is a retired ambulance paramedic. After 15 years of 12 hour shifts she has become conditioned to eating quickly, after many abandoned meals  at the ambulance depot, when an emergency  call came in.

 

This unpleasant lady took to whispering to her husband about how DW always finished her meal first, often with some disparaging remark.

 

Unfortunately (for her) DW is blessed with extremely sharp hearing, and, despite the comments being whispered ,(in itself an unpleasant  trait) she heard every word.

 

We had noticed a couple regularly sat at an 8-top, all by  themselves. We asked if they would mind us joining them, and they were delighted to have some dining companions.  A quick word with the maitre d' and we moved.

[ontheweb]

We have mostly done some form of anytime dining. We did however have 3 large tables with regular seating, two before lines established anytime and one after when the small Ocean Princess did not have it.

 

On the first, one couple barely showed up and a woman with a fairly young child sometimes showed up, but usually late. So that was not a real experience where we could chat with others. I do remember the joy the youngster had when a cake was brought to the table for our anniversary and he got to eat some too. On the second table, we did bond with all the others and saw them throughout the cruise. On the Ocean Princess, our tablemates were a German girl and her mother, a couple from Washington DC on their first cruise, and a couple from Canada who were more experienced cruisers than us and had sailed on world cruises. The German girl basically giggled a lot, and her Mother spoke no English. The government bureaucrat from DC was a bit of a know it all despite being on his first cruise. (I don't remember his wife saying anything.) But we did hit it off with the Canadians who sat at our right.

 

I do remember some good experiences with the people we sat with at anytime type dining. Once in fact, for some reason, the person next to me mentioned where he went to college and the year he graduated. I graduated from the same university one year earlier, so it was easy to find things to talk about.

[ldubs]

On 7/17/2022 at 12:38 PM, CruisingGrandmaW said:

@rkacruiser  Re: Hearing aids.  First & upmost importance of wearing hearing aids --- did you know it's all part of our cognitive thinking process?  My Audiologist is the one who educated me on this.  You can look up on the internet for information.  Also, I purchased my "Kirkland Brand" hearing aids from Costco - Apprx price $1700.  They are adjustable via a program you downloand onto your Cell Phone.  (You do not need internet connection to use it)  You can then adjust your hearing aids to eliminate "party noise" which is helpful when in noisy rooms such as crowded restaurants.  You can also limit how far of a range you want your hearing distance to expand to; along with the perimeter of hearing.  (For example limit so I can only hear the person just across from me.)  I also like to use the adjustment -- so I can only hear those talking behind be.  It's nice to hear what people are saying about you behind your back.  LOL.

 

 

 

"...it's all part of our cognitive thinking process"

 

Well, that leaves me out.  

[Mike981]

17 hours ago, DirtyDawg said:

I just got a pair of hearing aids late last year. Mine have a setting that filters out background noises in a crowded situations and I can hear quite clearly to a conversation. But the best feature is that they have Bluetooth built in so if I'm ever in a situation where I just want to tune out the conversation,  like when my socialist SIL goes on and on and on about her latest crusade against capitalists like me,  I can play my Spotify music  🎶 and leave her wondering why I'm grooving while she drones on and on and on.  

 

I love the Bluetooth feature, especially for phone calls. I was to the point that I rarely talked on the phone and had to bother my wife to make the calls for me. Even with the app settings and builtin equalizer I still have issues, I know for a fact that a big reason is that I am a voice actor and am rather picky. Also if you are really taxing your hearing aids they can get wonky trying to figure everything out.

Food is subjective yes? Well so is hearing loss and hearing aids, what works for one doesn't always work for another. Unfortunately I need to go with the higher end aids and have a lot of contact with my audiologist. On my app I can send her a message with a request to 'fix' something and she can do it remotely and send me an update to my phone. I then download it and I am on my way.

 

For those new to hearing aids, or just starting the process, note it takes time. Patience is a big help and it will take your brain a while to adjust to all of this new information. When I got my first set I had to remind my wife and kids, "I can hear you!" As they were so comfortable with my lack of hearing.