How to convince a friend to cruise

[PatandStu]

I have a good friend who turns 55 in 2024 and I’d like to treat her to a cruise. She’s been Ill on very small boats (less than 30’) so is concerned she’ll “waste” money. What can I tell her to convince her that cruising is fabulous? 

[casofilia]

@PatandStu

 

"I've bought you a ticket and your going with me".

 

Make sure you have a replacement worked out!!   VBG

[GeezerCouple]

15 minutes ago, PatandStu said:

I have a good friend who turns 55 in 2024 and I’d like to treat her to a cruise. She’s been Ill on very small boats (less than 30’) so is concerned she’ll “waste” money. What can I tell her to convince her that cruising is fabulous? 

 

 

Why do you feel the need to try to "convince" someone to cruise if they don't want to, and especially if they've actually had some motion sickness?

 

You want to treat her to a wonderful 55th?  A vacation?  How about a few days together at a land resort?  Then you *know* she'll enjoy it, and that should make both of you very happy.

 

GC

[cfelbab]

I agree with the suggestions about not trying to convince somebody to do something they are uncomfortable with. In that case, a land resort may be a better option.

 

That said if you really want to share the joy of cruising with a newbie, I'd suggest finding a very short cruise as a "first time". There are a few cruises out there that go from FL to the Bahamas and back that might be a decent place to start. These cruises are often very affordable which helps with the concern about "wasting money" and since they do not venture too far into the open seas I suspect that as long as the weather is not too bad, the motion will not be that much either. 

[complawyer]

sometimes you just cant change someone's mind about cruising. we took our daughter on cruise when she was 21. the 1st night out, the ship was rocking so hard you could hear the life boats banging on the ship itself. we had 2 cabins, and she was sharing the 2nd with her grandmother. at 3 in the morning, i hear a not so gentle tap, tap, tapping on our cabin door, we opened the door and there was this poor kid green as the incredible hulk.

 

she is now 51, hasnt been on a cruise since, and absolutely rfuses to even consider going with us.

 

so, follow some of the above advice, take your friend to hawaii, (maui is nice) or any carribbean island.

 

st maarten is one of my favorites, followed neck and neck by barbados

[Sailing12Away]

I've been trying to convince some friends to join us as well. You certainly can't force someone nor can you understand their true concerns unless they share them all with you.

But what we've found helps is to not pressure people, but simply share photos, videos, and anecdotes of our travels with them. Over time some have realized that it's not as scary as they thought, or the things they were concerned about are nothing to worry about at all. Even telling them the things that we dislike about cruising makes them realize that what is bad or scary to us is small potatoes to them.

 

Safety in numbers, so planning something as a larger group of mutual friends helps too so they don't feel like they have to be in your back pocket 24/7 looking after them to ensure they have a good time. As well as keeping it shorter and in calmer seas for their first outing.

 

Mediterranean 7 day RT out of Rome was the first cruise I took hubby on. He was nervous about being 'stuck in the middle of the ocean'. By the 3rd day I asked him what his thoughts were as we were getting hounded by the CN people... "as long as I have the drink package I would be willing to do this again". We're going on our 9th cruise in the past 4 years a week from today. Some sometimes it works out, but they have to come to that agreement on their own.

[Sweetnspicy]

I know my in laws would absolutely love cruises. It’s exactly the atmosphere they look for in land vacations but my mother in law is terrified of the ocean. I have tried for years to invite them but it went no where. Suddenly out of the blue they asked if we would be interested in taking an Alaska cruise next year!

 

I think all the videos and information I have been sending has paid off! 😀 

 

I hope you can convince your friend. 

[MotownVoice]

The OP didn't say her friend ruled it out, she just said she had concerns.

And since the spirit of the cruise is as a gift to someone, I'd say be less concerned about having a backup plan in case she backs out, and concentrate more on making her feel comfortable and excited about it.  Stick with it!

Videos of people on cruises having a great time can have a big impact, it did on me.  You can actually see inside the experience and start to picture yourself in that situation.  Without visuals, you're just left with the scary voice in your head making things up. 

And I was on a ship that had a horrifying heeling incident.  So, if anyone knows how bad it could be, I'm one of them.  I certainly wouldn't relate a story like that to her.

You’re a generous and loving person.  I wish I could be your friend even if I didn’t get a free cruise outta the deal.

[Laszlo]

11 hours ago, PatandStu said:

I have a good friend who turns 55 in 2024 and I’d like to treat her to a cruise. She’s been Ill on very small boats (less than 30’) so is concerned she’ll “waste” money. What can I tell her to convince her that cruising is fabulous? 

She can get a Reliefband, they work very very well. I first bought one for a friend of mind who was going thru chemo about years ago. No meds would stop his nausea. I bought him one and within minutes he was feeling better. Since then I have 4 friends who cruise and get sick from time to time buy one and they swear by it

 

https://amzn.to/3TEG8mj

[graphicguy]

No kidding?  Someone is offering a free cruise and, as they say, s/he’s “looking a gift horse in the mouth”?

 

55 years old and can’t decide whether to take a free cruise?????  :0

 

Whenever my kindness is questioned, especially something as generous as a free cruise, my reply would be “you going or not?  If not, I have to find someone else to take your place.”

 

I have known some who question such kindnesses….”I don’t know if I can, if I should, I might not want it….etc”. Not my job to convince that person(s) whether or not my kindness is worth it.  I will remember those who rebuff them, too.

 

 

Edited August 30, 2022 by graphicguy

[MotownVoice]

28 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

No kidding?  Someone is offering a free cruise and, as they say, s/he’s “looking a gift horse in the mouth”?

 

55 years old and can’t decide whether to take a free cruise?????  :0

 

Whenever my kindness is questioned, especially something as generous as a free cruise, my reply would be “you going or not?  If not, I have to find someone else to take your place.”

 

I have known some who question such kindnesses….”I don’t know if I can, if I should, I might not want it….etc”. Not my job to convince that person(s) whether or not my kindness is worth it.  I will remember those who rebuff them, too.

 

 

Jeesh.   Remind me to have YOU give out balloons at my next birthday party.

[weltek]

Tough one. Give it within the cancellation window, and make it clear there's a 100% refund it she doesn't want to go. And give her a list of alllll the seasickness med options, including prescription!

Not that this is all that similar to your situation, but my in laws finally cruised with us, after gently asking for a few years thinking they'd like it, and it wasn't great for either of us. Sister-in-law literally tipped over in calm seas due to dizziness and had to stay inside most of the time due. BIL didn't love being around people. They didn't do anything in ports, rather preferring just to find a bar inside the port gates, when possible. It sort of ruined my time, too, worrying they felt they wasted their money. I'll never try to convince someone to sail with us again. If they aren't crazy excited about it, then we'll stick to enjoying each other's company in other ways.

[graphicguy]

Didn't mean to come across as harsh.  It's just that if someone has to be convinced to take a cruise that's being paid by someone else, don't waffle.

 

A simple "yes" or "no" should suffice.  Convince me to take a free cruise?  Cmon!  If you're 55 and can't make up your mind, probably wouldn't want to spend any time with you on the cruise anyway.  

 

Would go something like this...

 

"We can dine in the Italian, or the French, or the Steak restaurant tonight.  Which would you like?"

 

"I dunno....convince me on where to eat."

 

Or,

 

"We could play trivia, or see a broadway type show, or sit and watch the Ship sail in the warm ocean breeze.  What would you like?"

 

"I dunno what to do?"

 

A week's worth of that and I know I'd be at the bar, any bar, ruminating over my generous offer.

 

Take the cruise or don't.  But, don't torture me by asking me to "convince" you.

[MotownVoice]

24 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

Didn't mean to come across as harsh.  It's just that if someone has to be convinced to take a cruise that's being paid by someone else, don't waffle.

 

A simple "yes" or "no" should suffice.  Convince me to take a free cruise?  Cmon!  If you're 55 and can't make up your mind, probably wouldn't want to spend any time with you on the cruise anyway.  

 

Would go something like this...

 

"We can dine in the Italian, or the French, or the Steak restaurant tonight.  Which would you like?"

 

"I dunno....convince me on where to eat."

 

Or,

 

"We could play trivia, or see a broadway type show, or sit and watch the Ship sail in the warm ocean breeze.  What would you like?"

 

"I dunno what to do?"

 

A week's worth of that and I know I'd be at the bar, any bar, ruminating over my generous offer.

 

Take the cruise or don't.  But, don't torture me by asking me to "convince" you.

 

Im not getting this impression from the OP at all.  
 

Everything you’ve put in quotes is in your head 

 

The only thing you actually have to work with is that they asked her to come, and she rssponded that if she spent the whole trip seasick it would ruin their vacation.  
 

But you’ve got her painted out to be some kind of entitled Norma Desmond, waiting for someone to light her 3 foot long cigarette holder.  
 

Again, someone YOU invented with the expressed purpose of berating her imaginary self.  
 

It says more about you than it does a woman with a fear of the sea.  

[Hlitner]

I think if the OP wants to keep their friend it is wise to accept that friend as she is...not as the OP wants!  DW and I love to be on cruise ships and have spent years of our lives doing what we enjoy.  But not everyone likes being on a ship and some folks are very prone to mal de mer.  Trying to convince somebody that they will enjoy something that they see as a road to being sick is a sickness in itself. It is like being a skydiver and thinking that your friends must all like skydiving...even if it kills them.

 

Lets accept that we all have our own likes and dislikes and that we should accept our friends for what they are....not what we want them to be.

 

Hank

[cruisemom42]

Isn't the purpose of giving a gift to provide the recipient with something that they want or would treasure or enjoy?  Not something YOU think they want....

 

This discussion (which does crop up periodically) always reminds me of an old episode of The Simpsons where Homer gives Marge a present: a bowling ball with "Homer" engraved on it. 

 

 

[crystalspin]

22 hours ago, PatandStu said:

I have a good friend who turns 55 in 2024 and I’d like to treat her to a cruise. She’s been Ill on very small boats (less than 30’) so is concerned she’ll “waste” money. What can I tell her to convince her that cruising is fabulous? 

To answer your question and not berate you for asking it...

 

My husband has "fed the fish" on many small boats (although not LITTLE speedboats, go figure) but has no queasiness on or above a Vista class HAL ship. These are not even large cruise ships in the modern world. (Stats attached.) In fact his favorite place is the Crows Nest, -- up high and all the way forward, normally thought to be the worst for seasick.

 

I don't know your favorite line or ships but suspect you would choose an even larger ship. Tell her it's like a building with great views and people bending over backwards to help you have a good time.

 

Then choose an itinerary that is likely to be calm and stable. In a cabin that is low and mid-ships with a window. And maybe not too long, but not a 3-4 day cruise during school break bc those are gonna be Party Cruises. Seeing where you are from, maybe a Boston to Quebec (or vice versa) fall foliage cruise? The simplest ones are 7-day.

 

2024 itineraries are not out yet, but here are the Zuiderdam's itineraries for 2023:

https://www.hollandamerica.com/en_US/find-a-cruise.html#soldOut=false&start=0&{!tag=portsTag}portsOfCall=&{!tag=regionTag}regions=&{!tag=cruisetypeTag}cruiseType=&{!tag=destinationTag}destinationIds=N&{!tag=departTag}departDate=2023-08-01T00:00:00Z,2023-09-01T00:00:00Z&{!tag=durationTag}duration=6-8&{!tag=embarkTag}embarkPortCode=BOS,YQB&{!tag=shipsTag}shipId=UU

Click on More Dates & Fares to see a total of 5 sailings (the sixth one goes on from Boston to Florida to start the winter's Caribbean cruises).

[complawyer]

crystalspin. while i agree with your analysis, why are  you trying to promote another cruise line on the cruise critic ncl forum? 

 

big no no!

[crystalspin]

1 hour ago, complawyer said:

crystalspin. while i agree with your analysis, why are  you trying to promote another cruise line on the cruise critic ncl forum? 

 

big no no!

(1) I am reading this on the "ask a cruise question" forum.

(2) I can only promote what I know.

(3) Not a big No No even if it were true and you weren't lost.

[complawyer]

im not lost, you are this is an ncl forum, other than that, i dont care where you post

[crystalspin]

[ldubs]

14 minutes ago, complawyer said:

im not lost, you are this is an ncl forum, other than that, i dont care where you post

 

This thread was moved from the NCL forum to the Ask a Cruise Question forum.  

 

Anyway, back to the topic,  it seems the issue is the friend's motion sickness.  Not knowing how severe it is makes it difficult to really offer advice.  

[Essiesmom]

Well, I figured this thread was transferred from somewhere, as I read Ask a Cruise Question several times a day, and it wasn’t here last night.  EM

[graphicguy]

16 hours ago, MotownVoice said:

 

Im not getting this impression from the OP at all.  
 

Everything you’ve put in quotes is in your head 

 

The only thing you actually have to work with is that they asked her to come, and she rssponded that if she spent the whole trip seasick it would ruin their vacation.  
 

But you’ve got her painted out to be some kind of entitled Norma Desmond, waiting for someone to light her 3 foot long cigarette holder.  
 

Again, someone YOU invented with the expressed purpose of berating her imaginary self.  
 

It says more about you than it does a woman with a fear of the sea.  

Not going to waste any more time on this.  

 

A simple “yes” or “no” to the very generous offer.  If you need convincing, as a 55 year old?  I take that as a “no”, regardless of the reason why.  

[Ferry_Watcher]

Lawyer, if a number of well established posters state something contrary to what you what you believe, you might want to double check your 'facts' and scroll up to look at the topic heading. 

Just saying.  ;  )