Tiger0613 Posted September 4, 2017 #1 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Asking someone what job they have always seems to come up at some point during a cruise. It can be awkward for me to answer. I don't work because I get my father's defined benefit pension due to having ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. I will get this pension for life. I will keep it even if I get married(unlike later applicants). It is enough to live off of and still save money each month. There isn't much of an incentive to work because of the amount. To keep my current income tax refund level, I would have to get a job that would put me in the 25% bracket on its own without putting me into a higher bracket when combined with my pension. Finding a job that meets that requirement would not be easy. When asked, I just tell the truth and hope I don't get any dirty looks. I never reveal the amount. I told a CBP officer during my Global Entry interview that I was effectively retired. He gave me a look, so I gave him all of the details. I was approved, so saying I am retired is apparently an acceptable answer for the US government. Telling the truth seems to embarrass my mother. She thinks money shouldn't be talked about publicly. She also doesn't think I should be getting my father's pension. She thinks she should get it. She thinks the surviving spouse should get it instead of a child(minor or adult), but that just isn't in the rules of the specific program I am in. If I hadn't qualified, she would have gotten a lump sum of what my father put into the pension. She also is not a fan of community property laws. How can I tell the truth without embarrassing my mother and sounding like I am bragging? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DisneyKidsDad Posted September 5, 2017 #2 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Just tell people it's not a subject you feel comfortable discussing. It's not anyone's business anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schoifmom Posted September 5, 2017 #3 Share Posted September 5, 2017 My DD is in a similar situation (she has Borderline Personality Disorder). She simply tells everyone about the volunteer work that she does and if they press further, she has no problem discussing her psychiatric issues. Does it embarrass me? Nope. I'm proud of the fact that she works so hard to overcome so much and is moving toward her ultimate goal of helping others in similar situations. If her openness can help bright a positive light to her disorder, more power to her. The problem is your mother's, not yours. You do whatever you feel is warranted in the situation. Share as much or as little as you are comfortable with. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this quandary. Having said that, I wouldn't discuss the financial situation with anyone. It's simply none of their business. Happy cruising! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spookwife Posted September 5, 2017 #4 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Well I don't work due to medical issues, not mental ones. I receive zero federal or state aid, but we survive just fine on Mr spooks salary and military retirement. My response is: I choose to not work. No tax payer can get snarky with me as I am not receiving any form of government payout. But even if they did, tain't none of their beeswax anyway. They don't need to know why you don't work. They just need to know that they will not be getting any free advice about that bunion, their tax shelter or their vintage Bug in the garage they have been working on for ten years from you Sent from my iPad using Forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuthC Posted September 5, 2017 #5 Share Posted September 5, 2017 I would keep it light-hearted, but vague. Something along the lines of "I inherited well at a very young age, and have been happily retired ever since". Then change the subject, perhaps by asking them a question having nothing to do with employment. Favorite place to travel to, perhaps? The rest of the story is no one else's business, and does not need to be answered. Polite silence always works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raindropsalways Posted September 5, 2017 #6 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Discussing one's occupation is normally just a conversation starter. I would respond “not much or anything” or “as little as possible” just to make the conversation lighter. Might even get a few laughs. Have a wonderful cruise, Betty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadaDeb Posted September 6, 2017 #7 Share Posted September 6, 2017 I am 45 but have had several brain surgeries/radiation as well as other surgeries...I stopped working when my memory loss and fatigue became too much. I never have a good answer. If I'm honest with them, they end up feeling bad and say something like' but you look great' which is something I don't to hear...and if I don't explain I get the look :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunky2219 Posted September 6, 2017 #8 Share Posted September 6, 2017 I tell them I'm a professional unicorn trainer but had to retire when my client base got too small. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slugsta Posted September 9, 2017 #9 Share Posted September 9, 2017 I tell them I'm a professional unicorn trainer but had to retire when my client base got too small. . Love it! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silversurf Posted September 10, 2017 #10 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I would say that it is confidential so I cannot disclose any details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Itchy&Scratchy Posted September 10, 2017 #11 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I too would say that I'd like to keep that information confidential. That's it. It's no one else's business and you, OP, shouldn't be going into any detail about your personal business. Good grief. I don't tell anyone any details about what I do for living. I just vaguely say - " am in marketing. Bean dip? " It's because I don't really care to tell anyone about what I do, even if there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb at sea Posted September 11, 2017 #12 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Your mother is right. You shouldn't talk about your money. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare CineGraphic Posted September 11, 2017 #13 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Tell them you are an amateur proctologist, they will leave you alone. Sent from my iPhone using Forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toxicfairy Posted September 11, 2017 #14 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Just courious if this is for real. I'm sorry but your mother has to work harder because you get the money she should retire on? My daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder , ADHD , severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. She goes to college full time and works. Sent from my SM-J700T1 using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Sweethearts Posted September 12, 2017 #15 Share Posted September 12, 2017 How can I tell the truth without embarrassing my mother and sounding like I am bragging? You do not have to put yourself in that position. Simply say "I'm sorry, but I do not like mixing business with pleasure" Then change the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevi Posted September 12, 2017 #16 Share Posted September 12, 2017 My usual response is as little as possible. I've been on disability through my work since 2010. At one point it bothered me that I was too ill to be a contributing member of society, then I realized we all have different talents and while I cannot work I can participate in society and I still have much to contribute. I just don't get paid to do it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Covepointcruiser Posted September 14, 2017 #17 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Asking someone what job they have always seems to come up at some point during a cruise. It can be awkward for me to answer. I don't work because I get my father's defined benefit pension due to having ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. I will get this pension for life. I will keep it even if I get married(unlike later applicants). It is enough to live off of and still save money each month. There isn't much of an incentive to work because of the amount. To keep my current income tax refund level, I would have to get a job that would put me in the 25% bracket on its own without putting me into a higher bracket when combined with my pension. Finding a job that meets that requirement would not be easy. When asked, I just tell the truth and hope I don't get any dirty looks. I never reveal the amount. I told a CBP officer during my Global Entry interview that I was effectively retired. He gave me a look, so I gave him all of the details. I was approved, so saying I am retired is apparently an acceptable answer for the US government. Telling the truth seems to embarrass my mother. She thinks money shouldn't be talked about publicly. She also doesn't think I should be getting my father's pension. She thinks she should get it. She thinks the surviving spouse should get it instead of a child(minor or adult), but that just isn't in the rules of the specific program I am in. If I hadn't qualified, she would have gotten a lump sum of what my father put into the pension. She also is not a fan of community property laws. How can I tell the truth without embarrassing my mother and sounding like I am bragging? Best to keep quiet! Most folks save for a year or longer to afford a cruise with both working full time. Better change the subject and don't make them others upset about your ability to take cruises with a disability that prevents you from working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUT2407 Posted September 14, 2017 #18 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Even when working I don't tell everyone exactly what I do, causes too many questions. Sometimes I make stuff up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nic6318 Posted September 15, 2017 #19 Share Posted September 15, 2017 Hi It is true that this question comes up often enough. Most of the time it is just meant as an ice breaker. I am sure that for many it is curiosity. As already stated it really is nobody's business. Since you do seem to want to say something, you can truthfully say that you are retired due to a medical condition. If someone asks what you did prior to retirement, you can say anything you want (lie). To stem any further inquiry, I would suggest something mundane. If someone were to pry into your medical condition, I would consider that individual rude and not pay them any attention. If they persist, simply tell them it is personal and you consider their persistence to be rude. nothing too complicated here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare GeezerCouple Posted September 16, 2017 #20 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Just courious if this is for real. I'm sorry but your mother has to work harder because you get the money she should retire on? My daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder , ADHD , severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. She goes to college full time and works. Sent from my SM-J700T1 using Forums mobile app Same question, different reason. IF this is someone with USA-based income tax, then adding an additional income won't put the "first income" into a higher tax bracket. IF there is a jump to a higher bracket, it would only be for any part of the NEW income that is above the next "cut-off" point where tax rates change. Using hypothetical tax rates here: If someone is at the very top of a 15% tax bracket, then the next dollar earned would be taxed at the 25% rate, but it won't change the rate of the amount already in the 15% bracket. None of the current income would be charged "more" tax. What would possibly happen is that the extra income might be bumped into a higher rate. (There are currently some complications that could be different at very high income levels, but it doesn't sound like that is the situation.) OP also writes about the need to "keep [her/his] current income tax refund level".... What determines the REFUND is how much is withheld, not the tax bracket. One can withhold lots extra and get a huge "refund", or one could withhold much less and get nothing back (and risk penalties if there is an underpayment of tax, etc.). As for a pension where a surviving spouse is not allowed to get anything (often at least half)? Well, that obviously depends upon <whatever>. And "community property laws" are relevant how? Did Mother have income during marriage that she wished she didn't need to share with Spouse? Finally, why would anyone think OP is "bragging" when telling "the truth" about a lifelong disability? Bragging? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1980dory Posted October 10, 2017 #21 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I would keep it light-hearted, but vague. Something along the lines of "I inherited well at a very young age, and have been happily retired ever since". Then change the subject, perhaps by asking them a question having nothing to do with employment. Favorite place to travel to, perhaps? The rest of the story is no one else's business, and does not need to be answered. Polite silence always works. "I work for the federal government and I'm not at liberty to discuss what I do." Or, " I'm in a top secret position". These replies will stop the conversation dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slugsta Posted October 10, 2017 #22 Share Posted October 10, 2017 "I could tell you - but then I'd have to kill you" is always an option :D but I prefer to just say 'I am retired' and try to leave it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuthC Posted October 11, 2017 #23 Share Posted October 11, 2017 "I work for the federal government and I'm not at liberty to discuss what I do." Or, " I'm in a top secret position".These replies will stop the conversation dead. My answer was "I'm a professional pryer". I did work for the government, in a position that was sure to elicit all sorts of "highly charged" :rolleyes: discussion, shall we say. I didn't want to start that, so I learned to side-step smoothly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passy Posted October 11, 2017 #24 Share Posted October 11, 2017 It’s really not tricky. For various reasons I often don’t feel comfortable telling people my job so I just say “I’m a civil servant” or “I work in an office”. Tbh if I asked you what you do and you gave me all that info I’d just feel quite uncomfortable and wish I’d not asked! There’s really no need to share quite that much with virtual strangers. Sent from my iPhone using Forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passy Posted October 11, 2017 #25 Share Posted October 11, 2017 My answer was "I'm a professional pryer". I did work for the government, in a position that was sure to elicit all sorts of "highly charged" :rolleyes: discussion, shall we say. I didn't want to start that, so I learned to side-step smoothly. Agreed Ruth C. My job always leads to discussions that I’ve had a thousand times before and don’t want to have again while I’m on holiday. So a polite but vague response does the trick. Sent from my iPhone using Forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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